June 27, 2008

Leave Us Alone

I was recently in an argument with a liberal about all things politics and he said, "It is sad that the Republicans don't do anything for the working class people that vote for them." 

Of course, this statement perfectly explains what the Democrats don't get about the working class and why we keep voting for Republicans.

That's what we fucking want!  We don't want the government to 'do anything' for us.  Nothing.  Leave us the fuck alone. 

What is sad is that my opponent couldn't even imagine wanting that from the government, hence his inability to understand why people vote for Republicans.

It's precisely because they don't do anything for us.  Well, they do a lot more than we want but a lot less than the Democrats would prefer.

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Republican Nanny Staters stop attempts to roll back gambling bans

Drew had this yesterday at Moron HQ, but I definitely want to go on record pointing out this kind of Nanny State stupidity as a reminder that the GOP engages in this Nanny State nonsense too.  Republican representatives King, Heller and the rEVOLutionary whacko himself broke ranks and voted for the provision, four Democrats broke ranks and the measure failed in committee, unfortunately.  As Drew also noted, the "for the children" defense was out in force. Spencer Bachus (R-etard),

"The banks have decided that this is a financial burden. We have decided, on the other hand, that our children are worth protecting, and the cost of protecting them is worthy and worthwhile."


There it is, the "for the children" defense, almost every time that phrase is uttered, it is either going to cost you money or liberty, usually heard from Democrats, but we see it way too often from our own side, and I'm getting rather tired of it.

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Dueling douchebags

Olby and The Sockpuppeteer are having themselves a Nutroots slapfight (H/T).  Basically Greenwald is throwing a shitfit over the FISA bill.  He's pissed Obama is supporting it, and accuses Olby of being a partisan hack for allowing Obama to support the bill when Olby was screaming FASCISM!!! about it months before.  Olby claims the bill doesn't stop the Marxist Messiah from seeing their masturbatory fantasies of telecom execs facing show trials through.   Can they both lose?

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Moron of the Day: John Paul Stevens

Categorize this quote in the "you can't make this shit up" section:

The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of weapons.

Why, it's almost as if the constitution was written entirely to constrain the powers of government and preserve the freedom individuals. Why, when I look at the bill of rights, I notice there are several "limits to the tools available to elected officials' relating to no less than 10 different topics!

  1. The [Surpreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of speech and the press.
  2. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of weapons.
  3. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to house military men and equipment in civilian homes.
  4. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to search individuals' homes and persons in order to prevent crime.
  5. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to convict a criminal of a crime, force the accused to admit guilt or take land for public use.
  6. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to try crimes in the most convenient and efficient manner possible, regardless of speed or method of conviction.
  7. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to arbitrarily decide civil suits by judicial decree.
  8. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to torture and bankrupt criminals in whatever way is deemed necessary.
  9. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to take any rights from the people not herein protected.
  10. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to usurp the rights of states or people that are not explicitely given to the Federal Government.

Does any of that sound ludicrous to you?  And this guy is supposedly a constitutional scholar?  Where'd he go to college, the University of Marx?  What an unbelievable dipshit. 

John Paul Stevens, you're not only Moron of the Day (a dubious honor), you're a fucking retard.  Enjoy your helmet and mashed vegetables, mouthbreather.

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Whacking Walrus withers, last left standing?

60th anniversary of the Berlin Airlift.

Tools, and moar on said tools.

Philly vermin creates video: "How to kill a cop."  Philly police ought to take their sweet time to respond if this dirtbag ever calls them looking for assistance.

Big Brother is watching you.

Hmm, honestly, this isn't really that unique.

MREs.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:48 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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June 26, 2008

EU've got to be kidding

Nice batch of kiwi you've got there. Too bad they're 1mm too small to meet EU standards:

A market trader has been banned from selling a batch of kiwi fruits because they are 1mm smaller than EU rules allow.

Inspectors told 53-year- old Tim Down he is forbidden even to give away the fruits, which are perfectly healthy.

The father of three will now have to bin the 5,000 kiwis, costing him £1,000 in lost sales.

Speaking yesterday from the stall in Bristol he has owned for 20 years, Mr Down said: 'It's total nonsense. I work hard enough to make a living without all these bureaucrats telling us what we can and can't sell.

'They're saying I'm a criminal for selling this fruit, but the real crime is that all this fruit will go to waste - all because it's 1mm too small.
I don't know that I even have words for how absurd this is. Of course, I think banning trans fat is only slightly less insane.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Move America Forward reached $500K goal, now working on $750K

The goal is $500K, and the count is at $250K as of 4:45, you can also watch the stream here, not a bad start.  UPDATE: Just short of $300K as of 5:20.  UPDATE:  $448K as of 8:15.  $500K goal passed at 9:00, bumped up to $750K goal.  UPDATE:  $698K as of 9:40, $750K is the new goal.  $715K as of 9:55. 

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Its over $900,000!!!!!

$980K to be exact, they're trying to push it over $1million in this last hour.  They did it, $1,055,719 as of midnight on the east coast!

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:00 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Zombie Hookers!

Run for your lives!

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(h/t)

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Sorry Slublog

I had to.

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For Obama's trusty steed, Wrightmare, FACECOCK!

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Reuters: What nefarious personal demons did Justice Scalia bring to the Heller decision?

Did he rule with the majority because he is *gasp* a hunter?!

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:28 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Wow, I sure didn't see any of that coming

Q: What do you get when you take a camera out to some park and ask a bunch of assorted liberals, weirdos, and hippies what they would "say" to the RNC?

A: Fairly predictable results.


Posted by: Sean M. at 08:10 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Free Rice

Been a while since I've seen the Free Rice word game mentioned, so I thought I'd give it a plug.  If you haven't played it, they give you a word, and you have four other words, you choose which of the four is the best word to define the one given.  Corporate donors give 20 grains of rice for every word association you get correct, something to do when you've got a few spare minutes. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:45 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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Are you ready for the new Joss Whedon flick?

Trailer below the jump for my fellow nerds.

(h/t)
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Madonna Getting Divorced

Well, she's talking to a cut-throat divorce attorney, anyway:

Madonna is seeking legal advice to end her marriage of seven years to film director Guy Ritchie, according to the Times of London.

The 49-year-old pop star reportedly has begun seeking advice from divorce attorney Fiona Shackleton, who represented Paul McCartney in his divorce from model Heather Mills.
In other news, GlaxoSmithKline (makers of Valtrex) stock has tripled in the last hour.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:04 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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A little afternoon FAIL for you

I'm gonna go ahead and tuck this one under the fold and give you Your Official NSFW Warning.  Oh, and you might also want to swallow any liquids you currently have in your mouth before clicking...


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Next time someone suggests a "reasonable" ban on "assault weapons"

Keep this story in mind.  Three Mexican soldiers conducted a raid on a home in Phoenix, Arizona.  All three of them were carrying AR's and had tactical gear.  This ain't good,

Spencer said a police officer told him that one of the men captured said they were completely prepared to ambush Phoenix police, but ran out of ammunition.


...and no doubt they could have had they not hosed down their target and spent their ammo.  The man they gunned down was likely involved with the drug underworld, and the three soldiers were likely hired by a cartel to take this guy out, marijuana was found at the home.  Foreign paramilitary operations on our soil are unacceptable, these three should be treated as foreign invaders and executed.  Citizens should not be left defenseless, whether it is wild animals, criminals foreign governments or our own government. 

______

Since the Second is the big story today, here's Nazi smeghead Richard Daley throwing a little tantrum because the untermensch won't be denied their Second Amendment rights(h/t),

Daley stressed the danger of private gun ownership, not only to other Chicago citizens, but to the children of gun owners.

"We've shown time and time again how many children have been killed in their homes by guns," he said. "Parents are away, they get the gun. Parents are away, the child takes the gun, runs out in the street and has an argument, comes back and shoots somebody."

He described America as a country of gun-lovers who export their weaponry to neighboring countries like Canada and Mexico, spreading violence to relatively peaceful areas.


Yeah, we evil like that.  Aww, what's wrong with our little Sturmabteilung? Choking on the sweet, sweet air of liberty, are we Richard? 

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Another successful launch of the missile defense system that Obama assures us is a boondoggle that will never ever work

Cuffy has the latest on our latest successful missile defense system test, and wonders if it helped Kim Jong-il rethink this whole nuclear aggression thing.

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DC Mayor Reacts to Heller

Mayor Adrian Fenty's full statement is here. Key, predictable, quote:

“I’m disappointed in the Court’s ruling and believe introducing more handguns into the District will mean more handgun violence,” said Mayor Fenty. “But I want to emphasize that at this moment, our gun laws remain in effect. It may be several weeks before there are changes to announce.

“In the meantime, I have directed the Metropolitan Police Department to implement an orderly process for allowing qualified citizens to register handguns for lawful possession in their homes.
I checked the web site of DC's only Republican City Council member, but there wasn't a statement.  Get your act together, Carol.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 11:38 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Continuing the Tradition of Moron Generosity

Frequent commenter (and cum dumpster expert) Alice H. points me to a worthwhile opportunity for charity. The author of the blog is a terrorist attack survivor and is taking an off road bike ride to benefit a hospital that specializes in caring for the child victims of terrorist attacks, regardless of ethnicity.

If you've got a shekel to toss, you know what to do. Of course, you can also give directly to Alyn Hospital if you're feeling hands on but I find the idea of Gila riding offroad much more entertaining.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:32 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Ask A Moron: Where To Go From Here

Hermit Dave asks - Liberals are always threatening to move outside the US should elections not go their way. I think conservatives should start doing the same thing. The problem is there are far more liberal 'safe havens' than conservative ones. To where should conservatives threaten to move?

The Supreme Court has ruled that captured terrorists have Constitutional rights and child rape is a-okay. Barack Obama is about to become president and the Democrats will control all three branches of government. It seems that the dream may be over for Type III personalities in America.

So, where do we go? Well, in order to simplify this process I have divided the nations of the world into three categories:

Oppressive: Countries in this category significantly limit the freedoms of their citizens politically, religiously or individually. The banning of firearms won't necessarily place a country in this category but will get them 90% of the way.

Socialist: Economically, this country confiscates a large portion of the working man's money to give to 'underprivilidged' people or other stupid social engineering projects. Universal Healthcare counts as a stupid social engineering project and will (almost) immediately land a country in this category.

Shithole: Countries in this category are about as appealing to live in as a Port-A-John at Summerfest. Being desperately poor, disease-ridden, crime-ridden or lacking infrastructure will land you in this category.

Now, a country doesn't have to land in just one of these categories. For example, Cuba nails the trifecta because it is an Oppressive, Socialist Shithole. Good on ya, Castros!

To make this easy I've created a handy-dandy map. In the extended entry, I've included some descriptions. Enjoy!

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Disagree with my categorizations? Let me have it in the comments!

In order to keep Ask A Moron a regular feature I need questions from you, my readers. Please put your questions, any question at all, in the comments or e-mail them to me at chaos -dot- overlord -at - gmail -dot- com.

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