Someday, I'm sure, he'll look back on this, sit down to pee, and laugh:

A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported Sunday.

After unsuccessfully petitioning his father for two years to marry the girl, the man heated up a knife and sliced off his reproductive organ, said a police official.

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that when he woke up at the hospital, his dad wasn't there in the room doing the whole "slow clap of hard-earned respect" thing.

(Via clintbird in the comments here.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:37 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 112 words, total size 1 kb.

I think everyone knew this was coming someday, but it still made my jaw hit my chest.

Dr. George Tiller, extreme abortionist, was shot and killed while attending his church today.  His wife was singing in the choir at the time.

I'm having trouble sticking to my rule about not speaking ill of the dead at least in the few days after their death here, so I'm just going to say that I'd really like it if people stopped shooting up churches.  A church should be a safe place to whoever chooses to attend.

I'll have more to say about this in a few days, and will especially be interested in who speaks at his funeral, but for now that is all.

Update: George Tiller's killer may have been identified, may be associated with Operation Rescue, and may have suggested infiltrating Tiller's church.

Update 2: There's a movement on Twitter to wear white armbands tomorrow in memory of Tiller.  This should be telling.  And please, do go read the #tiller twitterfeed - the sheer amount of rationalization and bias is staggering.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:05 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 185 words, total size 1 kb.

Simple recipe for OUTRAGEUOS OUTRAGE!

1) Make a joke about The Most Smartest and Beautiful Woman in All History.

2) Wait about a half second. 

The best part is that, naturally, Tommy Christopher wasn't calling Jim Treacher a racist.  He was just saying that Treach didn't have the courage to admit his RACISM!!11!!!eleventy!!!111!!! openly. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:28 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 57 words, total size 1 kb.

Who knew Allahpundit was a country singer?

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:40 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
Post contains 8 words, total size 1 kb.

This is your pipes on Krispy Kreme.  Any questions?

Posted by: Alice H at 10:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.

Um, guys?  Alice H mentioned this back in December.

Where have you gone, Dave at Garfield Ridge?

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:49 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

Knew he was a twat, guess Falafelman didn't like being exposed for the hypocrite he is.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:02 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

The whole "carbon credit" thing? Yeah, it turns out to pretty much be a scam. Oh, and as a side benefit, it's killing people in the Third World, too:

GFL is part of a worldwide carbon-trading scheme, centred in London, which is supposed to be helping to save the planet from global warming. On paper the scheme, which was ratified under the Kyoto agreement and supervised by the UN, looks like an efficient way to cut global carbon emissions. However, a Live investigation has exposed a series of major failings and loopholes in the scheme.

Four years ago, GFL installed technology to reduce the greenhouse gases it produces and was given a vast financial reward by the UN; a UK company was also given considerable sums for investing in the project. However, far from being a flagship green factory, GFL stands accused of poisoning the local environment.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:42 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 159 words, total size 1 kb.

Tila Tequila.  Seriously. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 03:19 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 11 words, total size 1 kb.

Yeah, this is a HuffPo story, but this one's gotta be linked.  Some dumb bastard who'll probably be paid a visit by the Secret Service (and probably deserves to) decided to buy an ad in a newspaper advertisement saying the following,

Warren Times Observer Publisher John Elchert says the ad appeared Thursday. It read, "May Obama follow in the steps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy!" The four presidents were all assassinated.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:45 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 163 words, total size 1 kb.

It wasn't that McCain ran an ineffective campaign or that he was a RINO that the base never really got excited about. No, it was because Barack Obama has...PSYCHIC POWERS!

President Barack Obama on Friday personally sought to deflect criticism of Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, who finds herself under intensifying scrutiny for saying in 2001 that a female Hispanic judge would often reach a better decision than a white male judge. "I'm sure she would have restated it," Obama flatly told NBC News, without indicating how he knew that.

"I think that when she's appearing before the Senate committee, in her confirmation process, I think all this nonsense that is being spewed out will be revealed for what it is," Obama said in the broadcast interview, clearly aware of how ethnicity and gender issues are taking hold in the debate.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:41 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 202 words, total size 1 kb.

I seriously, seriously hope not.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:02 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 7 words, total size 1 kb.

Okay, which one of you was it?

Man uses live swan to beat up victim.  Shockingly, alcohol was involved.

Posted by: alexthechick at 11:48 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 20 words, total size 1 kb.

I personally do not care about the merits or demerits of the rest of this piece, but this little tidbit exemplifies the arrogance and stupidity of the moderate RINOs.

Let's play grown-up." When I was a child, that's what we said when we ran out of things to do like playing potsie or throwing rocks in the vacant lot. You'd go in and take your father's hat and your mother's purse and walk around saying, "Would you like tea?" In retrospect we weren't imitating our parents but parents on TV, who wore pearls and suits. But the point is we amused ourselves trying to be little adults.

And that's what the GOP should do right now: play grown-up.

The Democrats in the White House have been doing it since January, operating with a certain decorum, a kind of assumption as to their natural stature. Obamaland is very different from the last Democratic administration, Bill Clinton's. The cliché is true: White House staffs reflect their presidents. Mr. Clinton's staff was human, colorful, messy, slightly mad. They had pent-up energy after 12 years of Republican rule, and they believed their own propaganda that Republicans were wicked. They were oafish: One dragooned a government helicopter to go play golf. President Obama's staff is far less entertaining. They're smooth, impeccable, sophisticated, like the boss. They don't hate Republicans but think they're missing a few chips (empathy, logic, How Things Really Work). It is true they don't know what they don't know, but what they do know (how to quietly seize and hold power, for instance—they now run the American auto industry), they know pretty well.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:19 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 385 words, total size 2 kb.

Before I start, does anyone else get momentarily giddy when they read this headline?

N. Korea Defiantly Fires 6th Missile, Slams U.N.

Turns out the missile didn't hit the U.N. but landed in the ocean or something.  Lame.

Anyway, I just wanted to touch on how the Chamberlain Administration is responding to this rapidly deteriorating situation:

With tensions high on the Korean peninsula, Chinese fishing boats left the region, possibly to avoid any maritime skirmishes between the two Koreas. But U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said the situation was not a crisis and no additional U.S. troops would be sent to the region.

Oh, well never fucking mind then.  For some reason I was under the absurd impression that North Korea was consistently threatening war with the South while simultaneously making aggressive military moves and detonating nuclear weapons.  Where would a moron like me get that stupid idea?

"If the U.N. Security Council makes a further provocation, it will be inevitable for us to take further self-defense measures," the North's Foreign Ministry said in a statement carried by the official Korean Central News Agency.

Oh yeah.  Well, in my infinite stupidity I must be misreading that.  Certainly the North Koreans would never defy their 60 year armistice with South Korea:

On Wednesday, South Korean media reported that North Korea may be starting up its nuclear plant at Yongbyon, a site that was in the plutonium production business before the country agreed to shut down operations during the Bush administration.

In response, officials in Seoul, South Korea, announced they are joining the U.S.-led Proliferation Security Initiative (PSI) organized under U.N. Resolution 1718. 

North Korea called that move a declaration of war, and the country's Central News Agency reported the regime no longer considers itself bound by the 1953 armistice. It also accused the United States, a signatory of the armistice, of "dragging" the South into the program through its "hostile policy" toward the North.

:-|

What was it that Teddy Roosevelt famously said about diplomacy?  I believe it was, "Speak Softly and Shove A Stick Up Your Ass," or something to that effect.  Well, Obama is the living end when it comes to speaking softly and Hillary definitely has something in her colon so I think we're in good shape.

...   Or fucked.  Yeah, that's it.  We're totally fucked.

See, if I were North Korea I'd invade South Korea in the next few weeks.  I'd do it because I'm pretty sure I'd get away with it.  The United States would do literally nothing because we have the most useless executive to ever lead this country.  Also, the mere act of invasion would destroy the global economy in one day.  China would either do nothing or attempt to control the situation but either way I figure they'd start putting their money somewhere other than our debt. 

Sure, 35,000 American troops would be in the way of 1,000,000 Nork soldiers but does anyone really think the One would commit the necessary military assets to the peninsula to actually defeat them?  Would Japan?  Would China?  With the threat of having one or more of their cities annihilated by nuclear fire?  I don't know. 

I do know that the objective North Korea seeks would be accomplished.  They'd prove that they had the power to control events.  The world would be forced to give in to their demands. 

But, of course, they aren't going to do anything.  They're just bluffing.  Ask Bob Gates. 

I think Gates is wrong.  Like Japan after the Rape of Nanking and America's subsequent oil embargo, they have very little to lose by an aggressive posture.  If the U.N. installs a strict sanction regime against them (which seems more likely than it usually is) they will literally be starving and out of fuel.  The scary thing is they had to know this would be the global response to their actions and they did it anyway. 

So, either they are using all this crazy shit as a bargaining chip to get what they already have* or they seriously intend to extract ransom in exchange for the survival of South Korea and the global economy. 

And North Korea invading the South under the umbrella of nuclear protection isn't even the worst part!  The worst part is that as soon as North Korea crosses the line all the other little assholes in the world are going to cross their lines too because it will be impossible for the U.S. to deal with something of that scale and put out fires all over the rest of the planet. 

This is what we get when we put a 4 year old girl in charge.  We get fucked.  

: - | 

* - Free oil and food from the rest of the world.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:47 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 801 words, total size 5 kb.

Obviously we all know Bill O'Reilly is a tool, but he's also a hypocrite in his criticism of Hotair's inability to police every comment made on their site. 

Patterico went ahead and dropped the five bucks for the Bill O'Reilly site membership, and well, looky here, also here.  I can't wait to see Ted Baxter's BS excuse for this.

I think we're going to have a lot of fun with this.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:44 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 78 words, total size 1 kb.

Never waste a good crisis, indeed:

President Barack Obama warned Thursday that if Congress doesn't deliver health care legislation by the end of the year, the opportunity will be lost, a plea to political supporters to pressure lawmakers to act. "If we don't get it done this year, we're not going to get it done," Obama told supporters by phone as he flew home on Air Force One from a West Coast fundraising trip.

Obama's political organization, Organizing for America, invited campaign volunteers to a midday conference call to describe a nationwide June 6 kickoff for its health care campaign. The president's message to his re-election campaign-in-waiting was simple: If volunteers don't pressure lawmakers to support the White House's goal on health care, Washington would drag its feet and nothing would change.

"The election in November — that did not bring about change, it just gave us an opportunity for change," Obama said. "So now, we are really going to have to remobilize, we have all had a chance to catch our breath after election and we have gotten a lot of things done during our first four months."

I'd say you've gotten a little too much done during the first four months, but then again, I'm just a hateful right-wing extremist. And a RACIST!!! too.

Oh, and I guess I also hate families and businesses...

The president said the costs of the nation's $2.5 trillion health care system are crushing families and businesses and pose the largest threat to the economy.

That's funny. I thought Obama posed the largest threat to our economy. Again, RACIST!!!

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:14 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 314 words, total size 2 kb.

"We are all in this together," Pelosi told an audience of about 200 students and faculty who applauded enthusiastically throughout the 45-minute session. "The impact of climate change is a tremendous risk to the security and well-being of our countries."

Posted by: Alice H at 04:46 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

Well, since it is a Canadian union, should I call it Organized Labour?

Posted by: eddiebear at 04:35 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.

:-|

We don't make those decisions. Ok?," said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "Chrysler makes those decisions. So I am sure you can send Chrysler the address of the blog that you refer to. ... We're not involved in making those decisions I would think your question would be appropriately dealt with by the company that is."

No, fuck you.

I don't know about the rest of you morons but I'm about fully fucking fed up with being talked down to by this administration.  Beyond the fact that we have it on pretty good authority that Chrysler isn't making any fucking decisions anymore, how does he get off being so flippant and dismissive?  Rumsfeld* was crucified for being half this much of a tool to the media. 

Due to this rote denial, I'm going to use my handy statistical machine to determine that there is a 100% chance they did politically aim the closings at Chrysler.  See, that's the percentage of denials made by the Obama Administration that have turned out to be solid lies. 

Fuck you.  Fucking.  Cocksuckers.

* - I loved him.  I still love him.  I want Cheney and Rumsfeld to be Emporer and Supreme Commander.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:29 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 206 words, total size 2 kb.