October 24, 2010

In Honor Of Something Or Other...


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July 08, 2010

I Hope This Shitbag Lives

That's right. I hope this fucking fuckwaste of anything fruitful fucking lives, so that he can get a zillion times more abuse and terror inflicted upon him than he inflicted on an innocent girl just a few months younger than my daughter.

I fucking hope Dutch Dong Don and his merry band of prison goatse professionals open up a fourth and fifth cavity in his body. I fucking hope the workhouse wormholers go on an orgy of rib tips and painful radialfucking on his fucking orbital sockets. And I fuckingly fuck the failferret of fuck hope he lives long enough to get prison AIDS and have to spend every agonizing nanosecond of his fucking worthless life knowing that he will never enjoy an anal rupture free day for the rest of his life.

So fuck you, dirtbag. Fuck you with an improvised shiv soaked in hate and fetid fecal matter.

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June 28, 2010

Balance of Terror could be for realsies



Some scientists who are way smarter than all of us put together are about to make it possible for you guys to perform your nightly peeping Tom runs and Val-U-Rite smash and grabs a lot more stealthily.

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June 23, 2010

Andrew Sullivan Should Become A Massage Therapist

That way, he can get some of that sweet, sweaty Algore lovemuscle action (NTTAWWT).

I mean, wow!



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June 01, 2010

Damn You, YouTube For Outing Me!

How did you ever find this clip of me as a youth?


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April 13, 2010

Neil Armstrong is fucking awesome.

Aside from that whole, first-man-to-walk-on-the-moon thing, he also decided to vocalize his thoughts on Obama's new space plans.  Oh, and did I mention that his thoughts are that Obama's space plan sucks serious fucking dick?  (I'm, uh, slightly paraphrasing that ...)

Canceling Constellation could lead to thousands of layoffs at some of America's biggest aerospace contractors, including Lockheed Martin, the Boeing Co. and ATK. Such job losses are among the factors behind congressional opposition to the cancellation. Armstrong and his fellow astronauts emphasize the bigger implications, however, and say in their letter that the decision would put the nation on a "long downhill slide to mediocrity."

 The letter notes that the U.S. space effort will be dependent for years to come on the Russians for transport to the International Space Station, at a cost of more than $50 million per seat.

 NASA is budgeting billions of dollars to support the development of U.S. commercial spaceships that could help fill the gap. The beneficiaries of those billions would include smaller aerospace ventures, such as California-based SpaceX and Virginia-based Orbital Sciences. In their letter, the astronauts say that the availability of such craft "cannot be predicted with any certainty, but is likely to take substantially longer and be more expensive than we would hope."

Armstrong and his colleagues complained that the cancellation would amount to wasting the roughly $10 billion that has been allocated to Constellation over the past five years. "Equally importantly, we will have lost the many years required to re-create the equivalent of what we will have discarded," they wrote.

 "For the United States, the leading spacefaring nation for nearly half a century, to be without carriage to low Earth orbit and with no human exploration capability to go beyond Earth orbit for an indeterminate time into the future, destines our nation to become one of second- or even third-rate stature," they said in the letter.

One giant leap for awesomeness, sir.  I salute you.

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April 06, 2010

Only a genius could have forseen THIS!

Oh, supply and demand, how I love thee.  Now, it's been a really long time since I took an economy class, but, as I recall, as demand increases, prices tend to rise.  Seems like a pretty basic premise.  Now, I'm not saying that I'm an expert or anything, but I think I have a basic enough understand of supply and demand to say that I know what will happen in certain scenarios.

For example, if group A and group B both make the same thing, and every now and then, group A uses some of group B's equipment, group B will charge X amount.  Now, let's say that group A is going out of business, but still wants to use group B's equipment.  Now that group B is the dominant force on the market, group B is going to charge whatever the market will bear for the same service.

Everyone agree?  (Since this isn't exactly an interactive forum, I will continue my point.  Take that, that one guy who reads this blog!  Or, tell me I'm a dumbass in the comments.  That's cool, too.)

So.  Let's replace, in the example above, group A with NASA, group B with the Russians, equipment with space shuttles, and X with 26.3 million dollars.  Check out what happens!

The price for American astronauts to hitch a ride on a Russian spaceship is going sky high.   

NASA on Tuesday signed a contract to pay $55.8 million per astronaut for six Americans to fly into space on Russian Soyuz capsules in 2013 and 2014. NASA needs to get rides on Russian rockets to the International Space Station because it plans to retire the space shuttle fleet later this year.

I wish I were as S-M-R-T as Teh Won ...

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March 14, 2010

Maybe NASA's budget should go to making money grow on trees.

Did you miss me?  I know you guys did, so no need to lie about it.  I missed you!  Anyway, if I happen to blog about something a co-blogger all ready wrote about, chalk it up to the fine traditions here on DPUD of not actually reading the blog.

So.  Space!  Did you know - and this may shock you - that the shuttle program costs money?  I know, shocking stuff there.  But, with so many congresscritters up in arms over Teh Won's treatment of NASA, the space agency thought they might just point out the fact that, while it's all well and good to keep the shuttle program running, someone's gotta find the two billion dollars a year to make it happen:

 Money is the key to keeping the shuttles flying, said program manager John Shannon.

 "The shuttle program is fairly expensive. We burn at about a $200 million-a-month rate. So that gives you a base of about $2.4 billion per year ... almost irregardless of how many flights," Shannon told reporters.

 He added: "Where that money comes from is the big question."

 Shannon said NASA already has an extra fuel tank and pair of boosters, which are set aside for a potential rescue mission for the last shuttle crew. Assuming no rescue is needed, that set could be used for one additional flight to haul up supplies and spare parts to the space station, already 11 years old with another 10 years ahead.

 The shuttle is the biggest space station supplier by far. In fact, some of the big-ticket pieces of equipment can only fit into a shuttle's payload bay. As for NASA's astronauts, they already are hitching rides on Soyuz capsules.

 To create even more flights, tank production would have to be restarted, with a lead time of about two years. The only way to avoid such a lengthy gap would be to space out the remaining missions, Shannon said.

 As for other shuttle parts, the suppliers are still in business and could start up production again for NASA, he said.

 Regarding safety, Shannon said NASA has been recertifying the most critical shuttle parts since 2005, when flights resumed following the Columbia tragedy. The space agency also has met with experts on aging aviation vehicles, like the B-52 bomber.

 Until receiving orders to the contrary, NASA is proceeding as if only four flights remain.

No wonder these idiots can't run the fucking economy.  They can't even figure out that sending rocketships to space costs money.

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March 08, 2010

Okay, which moronette is in Florida?

Florida, it's always Florida.
The set-up
Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."

So what beats that?
The hero
The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, ...was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years,

Oopsie, but still not that weird.
Wait for it....wait for it.....
troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

They don't mention any jerking off, I'm going to assume he got his pants zipped up before the police showed up.

Via Boortz. I can't believe he beat Drudge to that story.
Sorta like when I see this at Ace's next week I'll know I was first. 
Again.

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March 05, 2010

Wait. Bipartisanship? In DC?

Teh Won is fighting hard to get some semblance of bipartisanship.  He promised to bring sweeping change and hope and unicorns and rainbows and skittles to D.C., and instead, all he's achieved is the Chicago Way and infighting and hatred and anger.

That said, it's got to be refreshing for the administration to finally get some cooperation between the GOP and the Democrats.  It's got to be nice to know that there's some common ground between these two parties.  Perhaps, even, a sign of great things to come for Big O and his plans to turn America into one big entitlement nannarchy.  A place where Democrats and Republicans can hold hands and agree with each other!

Except, of course, that this bipartisanship is in opposition of his NASA budget and the cancellation of Constellation ... which means that the only time Obama can get two parties to meet in the middle is when they're opposing him.

That tastes almost as good as bacon.

Obama's plan to terminate Constellation, including the Orion crew exploration vehicle and Ares family of rockets, encountered bipartisan resistance from House and Senate lawmakers during budget hearings held in February.

 On Wednesday, Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, R-Texas, proposed a new bill that, if passed, would extend the space shuttle program for two years beyond its planned 2010 retirement.

 Hutchison's bill would also require the space agency to study options for a new launcher that could be ready to deliver U.S. astronauts to the International Space Station by the end of 2013 and beyond low Earth orbit by the end of 2018.

 The bill, dubbed the Human Space Flight Capability Assurance and Enhancement Act, calls for spending an additional $3.4 billion between 2010 and 2012 to keep the space shuttle flying. It would require NASA to spread out its four remaining shuttle missions, now slated to wrap up by October, and potentially add additional flights.

 Companion legislation is expected to be introduced in the House next week by U.S. Reps. Suzanne Kosmas, D-Fla., and Bill Posey, R-Fla.

3.4 billion is peanuts to this administration.  And, hey, bipartisanship's gotta count for something, right?

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March 01, 2010

I will never get tired of giving out B+'s.

In typical Teh Won short-sightedness, it looks like shutting down Constellation - the program that was supposed to get us back on the moon - is going to be harder than it sounds.  Funny how, when you sign a contract and then decide to reneg on it, you still have to pay the people you contracted.  Then, to further complicate matters, as I mentioned a few months ago, Congress has made it impossible for NASA to cancel any of its space programs without express consent from - oh, yes! - Congress.  Not Teh Won, but Congress.

Delicious, delicious irony.

Letters have gone out to Constellation contractors, asking how much it will cost to shut their work down. Monday, NASA wrote to ATK Launch Systems Inc., which is building the first stage of the Ares I, requesting estimates of termination costs "as of the end of this and each of the next three [financial] quarters."

The agency was careful to point out that the letter "is in no way to be construed as direction to cease [work]." Congress has forbidden NASA from canceling any part of Constellation without its permission, which so far it shows no signs of giving.

Indeed, about 30 members of Congress wrote Bolden recently to warn that his efforts to prepare for termination without permission from Congress — including gathering information about closeout costs — could be viewed as illegal.

Then, at a hearing Thursday, some of those same members berated Bolden for not having a cost figure.

"You really don't have a handle on what the cancellation cost will be," said U.S. Rep. Rob Bishop, R- Utah, in disbelief. "To me, it's somewhat of a backwards approach. It would be nice for a congressman or somebody making policy decisions if we knew what the costs would be before you actually make that decision."

This is such a giant clusterfuck, and it gives me immense, incredible joy to point out that The Suit-In-Chief hasn't had the foresight to consider any of this before he went about shutting down an expensive program that is all about the Hope and Change he tries to espouse.  Shit, the Congressional rule that NASA can't close shit down without their permission happened in 2009, which means that it crossed Obama's fucking desk! 

I hate to go back to an old meme, but seriously, Obama, good, solid B+.  Yep.

(H/T Slashdot via Joe Collins)

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February 25, 2010

Forget about vision; get a clue.

Remember, once upon a time, in a far away land (also known as a month ago), when NASA was supposed to be getting man back on the moon?  Do you also remember that the Obama administration cut the funding and the projects that would, in fact, get us back to the moon and started to turn NASA into a global-warming - er, excuse me, climate change - monitoring agency? 

Apparently, this has a few of the fine congresscritters up on the hill a bit miffed.  With NASA.  Not the administration's budget, oh, no, but with NASA.  Yep.

NASA needs to go somewhere specific, not just talk about it, skeptical U.S. senators told the space agency chief Wednesday.

 President Barack Obama's proposed budget kills the previous administration's return-to-the-moon mission, sometimes nicknamed "Apollo on steroids." That leaves the space agency adrift without a goal or destination, senators and outside experts said at a Senate Commerce science and space subcommittee hearing, the first since Obama unveiled his new space plan this month.

 On top of that the nation's space shuttle fleet is only months away from long-planned retirement, an issue for senators from Florida, where NASA is a major employer. And while the new NASA plan includes extra money — $6 billion over five years — for private spaceships and developing new rocket technology, NASA shouldn't be just about spending, the senators said. It should be about John F. Kennedy-like vision.

Um, Earth to dumbasses:

more...

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February 08, 2010

Color me a little skeptical

The Daily Mail is reporting that a US Soldier stationed at Ft. Lewis has been accused of waterboarding his 4 year old daughter because she couldn't recite the alphabet.

The link they attempt to draw is that his service made him do it -

Police have not revealed Tabor's military service, but his base is home to units that have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I'm a little skeptical. First, I haven't heard this reported on local news so I kind of doubt the story in general. Second, Parents abuse kids everyday and it has nothing to do with military service so this is a cheap shot at the military.

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February 05, 2010

We're going to the happiest place on Earth! Tijuana!

Via Tim Blair we see that there's a threat against one of the world's great resources, Dutch bestiality pr0n! They're working on making it illegal.

This will just drive it underground and all sorts of wrong things will start happening. Like underage mules and unconsenting chickens getting fucked.
Oh the human...errr...bestiality!

I'm not sure why, but this made me laugh.
precise figures on animal pornography video sales are difficult to find.

Heh, I bet.
As an aside, I shudder to think of the searches that hit this post.
Further aside, I really just wanted to post something in "I'm afraid I can't blog that" category.
Further, further aside, I'm getting sick of scraping snow off my satellite dish every 45 minutes so I can watch TV.

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February 03, 2010

Hope you can't believe in!

Hot on the heels of Big O deciding to turn NASA from a space agency to a global-warming tracker, Iran is announcing that Kavoshgar-3 (translated as Explorer-3) has been successfully launched into space with a mouse, a couple of turtles, and some worms on it. 

Why, do you ask, does this matter, when many other countries have done the same thing with more advanced species?

Well, aside from the implications of Iran having a fully functioning space program on national defense and security (if you can send a ship to space, you can send a rocket just about anywhere), there is our own standing in the world as a strong power in technology and space to consider.  While Iran continues to push forward with nuclear technology that we definitely don't like, they also plan on having a man in orbit within the next ten years.  Meanwhile, we've decided to stop working on spacecraft that have the potential to take a man beyond orbit.

Space travel is about the first half of Obama's campaign platform - hope.  About the hope and desire of mankind, and Americans, to make an impact, not just on our earth, but on the universe.  To know what's out there and what it's like, to learn new things about the marvels around us, and, to get a little Trekkie on you, "to seek out new life and explore strange new worlds." 

But, I guess, that's just not the kind of hope that Obama was talking about.

As usual.

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January 24, 2010

This Mutinous Cretin Does Not Speak For Conservatism

Usually, I blow off the "guilt by six degrees of separation" that the left loves to play against us, because I refuse to be cowed for the actions or people I do not know, nor have ever known. Besides, that tactic is disingenuous and lazy. But not this time. This asshole (warning: Lefty link) does not speak for me. This asshole does not speak for conservatism. This asshole needs to get HIS asshole forcibly widened for what he has done. And this asshole needs to be thrown down a hole and forgotten about. The fact that this guy is a child rapist is enough to convince me that he needs to be purged from humanity and civil society, and I would say nothing more about him. But, the fact that he is a member of a group that strikes me as mutinous is something that needs to be called out.

Mutinous? I think so. You see, the Oath Keepers, of which this Charles Dyer cat claims to be a member of, have this as their mission statement:

Below is our declaration of orders we will NOT obey because we will consider them unconstitutional (and thus unlawful) and immoral violations of the natural rights of the people. Such orders would be acts of war against the American people by their own government, and thus acts of treason. We will not make war against our own people. We will not commit treason. We will defend the Republic.


Umm...an organized and coordinated plan to refuse to follow orders? Last time I checked, this term came up in my UCMJ knowledge.

Mutiny? Yes. Mutiny.

Look pal, if you have issues about orders, there are avenues of redress. But an organized and coordinated plan based not on an abusive or insane Commanding Officer, but (apparently) solely on the fact you do not like who is in charge? NO. FUCKING. WAY. A long time ago, I took a fucking oath to serve the fucking Constitution, and this shit will not be tolerated. This shit will not be allowed anywhere near where I stand. And if I were still in the military, I would have pushed for any Oath Keeper to be arrested on the spot for being involved in an activity as such (besides, I would be arrested if I knew of such a plot and did nothing. But that's another issue for another time).

No. I will not tolerate mutiny or sedition. This Constitution and Republic have a way of cleansing itself without criminal fucking activity. Any asshole who takes the oath and then involves themselves in what appears to be a mutinous endeavor needs to be sent away, for they have violated their commitment and oath. They have violated the Republican (not the party, but the system of government) process, the process that can and will fix itself.  And they are of no use to those of us who wish to save this country by legal and electoral means.

Get the fuck out of my sight, Charles Dyer and the rest of you folks associated with him. And stay away from my military.


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January 11, 2010

Another Senate Race To Watch

This time, it's the Republican Primary in Illinois, which pits Mark Kirk against a bunch of other people, including a Tea Party Endorsed candidate. Needless to say, I am not a fan of the RNC and GOP leadership, but the gay slurs being thrown around by one of his opponents is a disgrace.

Look, oppose Kirk for his voting record. Oppose Kirk for his stance on issues. Oppose Kirk just because. But gay baiting? Fuck. And. No. The people doing that need to be jackhammered by a steer so deep that their ears get jealous.

So fuck off, gay baiters. And come up with a better reason to oppose a guy.

 

***NOTE: I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT THE TEA PARTY GUY WAS THE ONE MAKING THE GAY SLURS. BUT  I WAS WRONG. SOME OTHER GUY IS DOING THE SLUR STUFF. REGARDLESS OF WHO SPREADS THE RUMORS, WE SHOULD LEAVE SOMEBODY'S CHOICE OF (LEGAL, NO CHRIS HANSEN PAYS YOU A VISIT TYPE) GENITAL GRATIFICATION OUT OF OUR VOTING PATTERNS ***

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January 06, 2010

What is it with Russia and space lately?

In a move sure to have PETA up in arms, the Russians are contemplating sending monkeys to Mars.

You can't make this shit up.

“We have plans to return to space,” said Zurab Mikvabia, director of the Institute of Experimental Pathology and Therapy in Georgia which supplied apes for the programme in the 1980s.

The Institute is in preliminary talks with Russia's Cosmonautics Academy about preparing monkeys for a simulated Mars mission that could lay the groundwork for sending an ape to the Red Planet, he said.

Such an initiative would build on Mars-500, a joint Russian-European project that saw six human volunteers confined in a capsule in Moscow for 120 days earlier this year to simulate a Mars mission.

Mr Mikvabia said: "Earlier this programme was aimed at sending cosmonauts, people (to Mars).

"But given the length of the flight to Mars, and given the cosmic rays for which we don't have adequate protection over such a long trip, discussions have focused recently on sending an ape instead of a person."

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December 30, 2009

Move over, Hollywood, it's Russia's turn to blow up an asteroid.

The nerd in me gets all giggly and happy at the thought of someone actually talking about sending a mission to an asteroid to knock it off course so it doesn't hit earth.  The bigger nerd in me can't figure out why, when the calculated odds of the asteroid actually impacting earth are 1 in 250,000, a country would spend what will likely amount to billions of dollars on trying to deflect said asteroid from its path.  The even bigger nerd in me is up in arms that it's a Russian idea and not an idea from NASA.  (Of course, the pragmatist in me that doesn't want to waste NASA funding on a 1 in 250,000 chance is glad it's not NASA.)

So many conflicted inner nerds.  I don't know what to do.

In October, NASA lowered the odds that Apophis could hit Earth in 2036 from a 1-in-45,000 as earlier thought to a 1-in-250,000 chance after researchers recalculated the asteroid's path. It said another close encounter in 2068 will involve a 1-in-330,000 chance of impact.

Without mentioning NASA findings, Perminov said that he heard from a scientist that Apophis is getting closer and may hit the planet. "I don't remember exactly, but it seems to me it could hit the Earth by 2032," Perminov said.

"People's lives are at stake. We should pay several hundred million dollars and build a system that would allow to prevent a collision, rather than sit and wait for it to happen and kill hundreds of thousands of people," Perminov said.

Scientists have long theorized about asteroid deflection strategies. Some have proposed sending a probe to circle around a dangerous asteroid to gradually change its trajectory. Others suggested sending a spacecraft to collide with the asteroid and alter its momentum, or using nuclear weapons to hit it.

Perminov wouldn't disclose any details of the project, saying they still need to be worked out. But he said the mission wouldn't require any nuclear explosions.

Hollywood action films "Deep Impact" and "Armageddon," have featured space missions scrambling to avoid catastrophic collisions. In both movies space crews use nuclear bombs in an attempt to prevent collisions.

"Calculations show that it's possible to create a special purpose spacecraft within the time we have, which would help avoid the collision without destroying it (the asteroid) and without detonating any nuclear charges," Perminov said. "The threat of collision can be averted."

Boris Shustov, the director of the Institute of Astronomy under the Russian Academy of Sciences, hailed Perminov's statement as a signal that officials had come to recognize the danger posed by asteroids.

"Apophis is just a symbolic example, there are many other dangerous objects we know little about," he said, according to RIA Novosti news agency.

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December 27, 2009

Another airplane that didn't get blown up ...

I thought, with all this talk of mean Nigerians trying to blow up perfectly good airplanes with firecrackers, a news story about somebody not trying to blow up airplanes with firecrackers would be appreciated.  You're welcome.

In the world of competitive paper airplane throwing [there's such a thing as a "world of competitive paper airplane throwing"? -ed.], a 20-second flight is exceptional, 25 or better is world class.

Thirty is the stuff dreams are made of.

Only one man — Japanese paper airplane virtuoso Takuo Toda — has ever come close to breaking the 30-second barrier. On Sunday, he set a world record for a hand-launched plane made with only paper, but fell just short of the 30-second mark.

Toda, flying a 10-centimeter-long craft of his own design, made 10 attempts to break his own record of 27.9 seconds set earlier this year in Hiroshima but failed to best his previous mark, settling for a 26.1-second flight.

That was still the best ever recorded for a strictly paper-only craft. His 27.9 record was set with a plane that had tape on it.

[...]

Toda, an engineer, is the head of the Japan Origami Airplane Association and is virtually unmatched in his ability to fold paper aircraft.

In keeping with traditional rules of the ancient Japanese art of origami, he uses only one sheet of paper, which he does not cut or paste.

He flew two variations of his world record-setting paper airplane Sunday — the one he used to set the duration record in April and an updated version with a fin. His April mark was recognized by Guinness World Records.

He did not use tape Sunday, which is allowed by Guinness. He chose to forgo tape because he wanted to follow traditional origami rules. His 26.1 mark was the best ever for a plane without cellophane tape keeping it together. Toda had that previous best as well, just over 24 seconds.

"I will get the 30-second record," he said. "It's just a matter of time."

Toda said that the secret to throwing a paper airplane is to aim upward — not straight — so that it has time to gain altitude and slowly circle back to the ground. Toda appeared to be on his way to a record Sunday, but his second and best throw was ruled a foul because it hit a passenger jetliner parked nearby [I'm not even sure how that happens; why are they throwing paper airplanes on a tarmack? -ed.].

"It's really a sport," he said. "The throwing technique is very delicate."

Along with breaking the 30-second barrier, Toda said his next goal was to launch a paper airplane from space. With funding from Japan's space agency, JAXA, Toda and a team of scientists have designed a plane they believe can withstand the intense heat of re-entry.

One of Toda's designs was scheduled to be released from the International Space Station this year, but that plan fell through in part because of problems with devising a means of tracking the planes as they fell back to Earth.

Toda and his colleagues are currently trying to interest Chinese or Russian space officials in reviving the idea.

We let Russia beat us into space.  We cannot let them beat us in the throwing-paper-airplanes-out-of-a-multi-billion-dollar-space-craft race.  Something should be done about this!

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