I called dibs on the shotguns and shells in the coming ZA.
Who knew that Emmerich was a prophet?
(Also since I got the blu-ray of ID4 the other day, you know what's a fun game - trying to count how many American flags are in it. I'm starting to understand why some of my insane lefty friends now hate that movie. Good times, good times)
I've said it before, but seriously -- shit like this negates every good thing the human race has ever accomplished. Cities? Literature? Music? Civilization? Not fucking worth this story. If even one human being is capable of writing this, then I'm all for the total extinction of the human race. Seriously, guys, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. THE COST IS TOO DAMN HIGH.
I don't think I will ever be able to read an X-Men comic again.
Posted by: Ember at January 09, 2010 03:20 AM (LdRAG)
2
In the best internet spirit I let someone else do the work and I steal it.
Posted by: chad98036 at January 09, 2010 03:55 AM (WNcvq)
3
I'm rarely on the side of government oppression but I could get behind criminalizing Fan Fiction and Furries.
Like a viking.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 09, 2010 06:40 PM (GC5S2)
4
Yeah, I stumbled over a rather disturbing Doctor Who fanfic the other day that had the Doctor doing the nasty with the Master. It was weird. I could be okay with outlawing the kind of mental damage that happens to a fan when they come across this kind of nonsense.
Posted by: Ember at January 09, 2010 07:05 PM (LdRAG)
Posted by: Sean M. at January 09, 2010 08:59 PM (rLWHv)
6
I still don't think anything can top Merry and Pippin fucking Treabeard.
I don't know about making them illegal, but there definitely should be a list of fanfic authors and when one moves into your neighborhood, you should be notified.
Posted by: Veeshir at January 10, 2010 12:07 AM (3WNuA)
You've never seen a chicken flop around after it's dead?
It's cool.
You chop off their heads, the head sorta gulps air for a minute or so while the body runs around the yard like...uhhh... a chicken with its head cut off.
So that's where that saying comes from. Huh.
Posted by: Veeshir at December 29, 2009 09:27 AM (ThMnZ)
5
^ yes it's quite the sight. Running into everything around, almost like it can't see or something.
Posted by: Jay in Ames at December 29, 2009 12:08 PM (UEEex)
Because, dontcha know, humans are the most powerful force in nature
I mean, there's nothing in nature, like, just tossing this one out there, the Yellowstone volcano that are capable of blowing and destroying pretty much all life in North American in a few minutes or anything. Nope. Only humans and our awful CO2 spewing ways that do that.
Oh, how delightful to discover that the volcano is larger than expected. Because it wasn't like it was already going to send us all into the ZA once it blows or anything.
Seriously, the determination by some portions of the Warmenistas to ignore natural formations such as this is enough to make one believe that they don't actually give a crap about or understand the natural environment at all.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch Woody stand there and watch Yellowstone explode because he wouldn't be incinerated instantly or anything. Oh Emmerich, you do fill my life with joy.
Zombie Pigs
I for one, welcome our porcine zombie overlords...
A Pentagon study is using pigs to test a technique that would drastically slow a wounded soldier's metabolism in order to extend the "golden period" for life-saving medical treatment.
The institute’s research will be based on previous Darpa-funded efforts. One project, at Stanford University, hypothesized that humans could one day mimic the hibernation abilities of squirrels — who emerge from winter months no worse for wear — using a pancreatic enzyme we have in common with the critters. The other, led by Dr. Mark Roth at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, used nematode worms and rats to test how hydrogen sulfide could block the body’s ability to use oxygen — creating a kind of “suspended animation” where hearts stop beating and wounds don’t bleed. After removing 60 percent of the rat’s blood, Dr. Roth managed to keep the critters alive for 10 hours using his hydrogen sulfide cocktail.
The next logical step: Try the same thing on pigs. They’ve got a similar cardiovascular system to humans, and TIPS researchers Theresa Fossum and Matthew Miller think they can accurately predict human results from the swine trials. Using anesthetized pigs, the doctors are testing various compounds, some containing hydrogen sulfide, to find one that can safely keep the hemorrhaging animals “as close to death as possible.”
1
I marinate with BBQ sauce and some beer, I'll have to try hydrogen sulfide.
Posted by: JavaJoe at December 08, 2009 07:26 PM (Am6n/)
2
Seriously, the Army has made HUGE strides in improving first aid and battlefield trauma treatment in just the last decade. If this trick works, more power to 'em. And I wouldn't be surprised if putting soldiers into zombie-time might also have some beneficial effects when they suffer traumatic brain injury.
Posted by: XBradTC at December 08, 2009 11:19 PM (y0E9v)
You asked for it, you got it!!!!
Stoaty is proud to announce that the first round of ZOMBIE REAGAN!!! gear is available at her Zazzle store!!!
(Can you tell I'm excited? I'm bouncing up and down in my chair like a little monkey while I'm typing this.)
Hopefully on its way - Zombie Reagan stamps. Those have to go through an approval process, so we'll have an idea of which side of the aisle Zazzle falls on if they're rejected. It's not like it's nude pictures of alexthechick, after all...
Update: Zazzle turned down the postage stamps, "Design incorporates the name or likeness of a current or former world
leader or politician, or a local, regional, national or international
leader, religious figurehead, or politician." which apparently was in their guidelines but Stoaty was hoping they'd get sloppy. I don't see any Obama stamps, so at least they're consistent.
Posted by: alexthechick at October 28, 2009 10:15 AM (8WZWv)
4
I heard if you lick the stamps, it's more than 50-50 the retrovirus goes active though. So be careful out there: and use wet sponges. Oh. And make sure to send your Lefty friends a book of the stamps ...a gift that will keep on giving.
Posted by: davis,br at October 28, 2009 10:25 AM (uCShA)
OT: but chortling, Alice over that thread on GOP activism a couple of weeks back. I've been pushing that TCOT report on NY23 to all and sundry in comments since, and a day after I comment in a Dan Reihl post (about Newt), Dan apparently runs with it. And it seems to be gaining traction. Ha!
Posted by: davis,br at October 28, 2009 02:41 PM (uCShA)
This would give states a great opportunity to cooperate on the issue by quickly fashioning a World Zombie Organization (WZO) that would codify and promnulgate rules on how to deal with zombies. Alas, the effectiveness of the WZO would be uncertain. If the zombies had standing and appealed any WZO decision to wipe them out, we could be talking about an 18-month window when zombies could run amok without any effective regulation whatsoever. Fortunately, the United States would likely respond by creating the North American F*** Zombies Agreement -- or NAFZA -- to handle the problem regionally.
I really really want a NAFZA shirt now. Oh and the comments are fantastic as well.
the American approach of "die, motherf***ers, die!!" Oh, and British beef would once again be banned as a matter of principle.
I love that part
Posted by: mrfixit at October 26, 2009 06:00 PM (TSfHi)
2
As a veteran of "Dawn of the Dead" (1977) I can say with reasonable certainty that those of the Italian School would be eaten first.
Posted by: cbullitt at October 26, 2009 08:56 PM (BEQuG)
3
My first thought was, "I'm pretty sure Obama would want to negotiate with the zombies... find out why they hate us." Then I realized that was unfair. He'd simply continue to follow George Bush's zombie policies and take credit for any success and blame Bush for any failings. Jimmy CARTER would try negotiating with the zombies. And you know what? He'd be our best, most uneaten representative. He has nothing they want.
Posted by: MikeD at October 27, 2009 09:02 AM (FkL60)
Zombieland review
Go see it. Now. It's only 81 minutes, but not a single one of those was boring, including the opening credits, which includes pasties. Well, the post-end credits thingy was kinda lame, but you don't really have to hang around for that if you don't want to. And the end credits were unexciting.
I have a new crush on Woody Harrelson. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to stand him in real life. And I don't normally find blond men attractive. But the dude knows how to swing a baseball bat.
More than that, I'm getting into spoilerland. Just go see it now. I saw a matinee, it would have been worth full price.
1
Damn it ... I, uh, "accidentally" blew all my vacation money before we took advantage of grandparent-babysitting. I meant to go see that while we were in St. Louis, too.
Posted by: Ember at October 12, 2009 07:03 PM (a18+s)
2
Would any of the male St Louis morons care to take a redheaded gal who posts scantily clad pictures of herself on Teh Intarwebs to a movie? Or have you already left St Louis?
Posted by: Alice H at October 12, 2009 07:05 PM (qJHYy)
3
The BFF and I went to see that the other day and omg omg love it so so so much. And when the hell did Woody Harrelson get that body? If that's what smoking pot does, well, sign me up.
Posted by: alexthechick at October 12, 2009 08:12 PM (hp0ia)
4
Leaving tomorrow morning. Someone's got until midnight to take me out.
Posted by: Ember at October 12, 2009 08:42 PM (a18+s)
5
Loved it! Lived up to and surpassed expectations. And yeah, I have never had a thing for Woody Harrelson, but damn, he is appealing in this.
Posted by: Nicole at October 12, 2009 10:43 PM (JTIQ4)
Posted by: Carin at October 13, 2009 05:20 AM (sPxmU)
8
Yep, I loved me every single minute of Zombieland too. We saw it last weekend and the theater was pretty active throughout the movie-plenty of cheering, lots of laughter, even a good deal of applause at the end of the movie. And as a Caddyshack fan, I even got a bonus chuckle out of the bit at the end. Two thumbs up!
Posted by: HayZeus at October 13, 2009 08:45 AM (RHxVZ)
9The BFF and I went to see that the other day and omg omg love it so so so much.
Even the zombie clown alex?
Posted by: MikeD at October 13, 2009 11:33 AM (FkL60)
Oooh!
Still thinking one of the new characters is modeled after a particular commenter over at the Head Moron's, but the commenter is prettier. From EvilAvatar.
Is anyone else wondering if you can use the chainsaw and the machete at the same time?! How awesome would that be?!
1
Ace is not a fat, black guy!
Still on the fence about this one. I like and still play the original L4D, but they still have not addressed some bugs and I doubt they will do so now that L4D2 is about to be released. We'll see...
Posted by: EC at October 12, 2009 09:30 AM (mAhn3)
2
They claim they're going to continue to release DLCs for the original game. To quote a very wise man, "We'll see..."
OK, that was a little too ass-kissy.
Posted by: Alice H at October 12, 2009 09:36 AM (qJHYy)
3
Crash Course was meh. I'm waiting for the 4v4 matchmaking they said would be included in the June patch! I think it's safe to say we'll never see that now.
This game has to be truly spectacular and truly bug-free for me to buy.
Posted by: EC at October 12, 2009 09:43 AM (mAhn3)
When the Imperial prison barge Purge–temporary home to five hundred of the galaxy’s most ruthless killers, rebels, scoundrels, and thieves–breaks down in a distant, uninhabited part of space, its only hope appears to lie with a Star Destroyer found drifting, derelict, and seemingly abandoned. But when a boarding party from the Purge is sent to scavenge for parts, only half of them come back–bringing with them a horrific disease so lethal that within hours nearly all aboard the Purge die in ways too hideous to imagine.
And death is only the beginning.
The Purge’s half-dozen survivors–two teenage brothers, a sadistic captain of the guards, a couple of rogue smugglers, and the chief medical officer, the lone woman on board–will do whatever it takes to stay alive. But nothing can prepare them for what lies waiting aboard the Star Destroyer amid its vast creaking emptiness that isn’t really empty at all. For the dead are rising: soulless, unstoppable, and unspeakably hungry.
Put yer nerd goggles on
It's early enough in the morning, I'm betting very few of you are too drunk to understand this, unless you're still recovering from last night.
Thesurvival probability of immobile targets annihilated by a population ofrandom walkers on inhomogeneous discrete structures, such as disordered solids,glasses, fractals, polymer networks, and gels, is analytically investigated. Itis shown that, while it cannot in general be relatedto the number of distinct visited points as in thecase of homogeneous lattices, in the case of bounded coordinationnumbers its asymptotic behavior at large times can still beexpressed in terms of the spectral dimension and itsexact analytical expression is given. The results show that theasymptotic survival probability is site-independent of recurrent structures (2), whileon transient structures (>2) it can strongly depend on thetarget position, and such dependence is explicitly calculated.
If you are too drunk, here's a simpler explanation.
Posted by: eddiebear at September 29, 2009 09:09 AM (wnU1W)
2
I just finished reading World War Z. And now I can't help but scope out buildings for their defensive value against potential zombie attack. Cause I'm in South Carolina, not much chance of a hard freeze down here giving me a season to set up good defenses.
Posted by: MikeD at September 29, 2009 09:10 AM (FkL60)
3
This is stupid. It assumes zombie movements are completely random, which is not the case. A zombie, upon locating a source of living flesh, will attempt to get to it relentlessly. Zombies also have a tendency to follow one-another. So, once you have a zombie that spots you, you will end up with a metric shit-ton of zombies trying to eat your brains.
The key is to kill any zombies that have spotted you. If that is not feasible, the next best solution is to get the fuck out of dodge and set up a compound with the other survivors away from any of the old population centers. This minimizes the risk of random zombie encounters.
Posted by: Jeff M at September 29, 2009 09:36 AM (8P3+x)
Yes, but Alex, the major disadvantage of edge weapons is that it allows - no, requires - the attacker to be within biting distance before you can off it. It also requires no defensive bulwarks be between you and the zombie hoard.
I feel very confident in saying that edge weapons should be a last resort in any real zombie attack. I think flame throwers would be my first choice, because I just can't get over how fucking awesome it would be to see the undead fuckers burning like crispy critters.
Posted by: Goober at October 01, 2009 05:59 PM (Pzz/u)
7
Exactly. Swords are a last resort. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to spend gun money on a sword, you need a last resort item and my 1911 only has a 7 round mag.
Posted by: Veeshir at October 01, 2009 06:02 PM (CcuGP)
and its exact analytical expression is given. The results show that the asymptotic survival probability is site-independent of recurrent structures (
2), while on transient structures (
