October 24, 2010

Tuesdays With Shit For Brains

Let's review:

1. Muslim terrorists kill thousands of people on 9/11.

2. Bill O'Reilly makes a remark on The View about how "Muslims killed us."

3. Two old ladies walk off the set of The View.

4. O'Reilly spends a week talking about 1-3 on his show.

5. Juan Williams says he's "worried" and "nervous" when people in "Muslim garb" are on a flight that he's on.

6. Williams gets fired from his NPR gig.

7. Somewhere in a cave, bin Laden laughs.

Um, why? Is it because one of his goals was censorship? Because he's a fan of political correctness? Nope. Something else happened:

And that, right there is the fucking problem, isn't it, Mitch?

You fucked up and admitted the truth, didn't you? Williams said something that lots of people are afraid to say, and Ho-Lee Shit, it got a lot of attention, didn't it?

You're done. At least I hope so. You and your pals can look the other way and hope that the terrorists kill you last, but the rest of us would rather...oh, fuck. I don't even care anymore. Bow down, and see what you get.

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October 20, 2010

Overreaction

You might have heard that Virginia Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, called Anita Hill a couple of Saturdays ago. Not a bright idea, in my humble opinion.

Here, according to the LAT, is a transcript of the voicemail she left:

"Good morning, Anita Hill, it's Ginni Thomas. I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband. So give it some thought and certainly pray about this and come to understand why you did what you did. OK, have a good day."
Again, according to the LAT, and apparently confirmed by a campus official, Hill turned the voicemail message over to security at Brandeis University, where she teaches "social policy, law and women's studies."

The campus authorities then proceeded to turn the recording over to the fucking FBI.

Again, while I think it was a really, really bad idea for Virginia Thomas to contact Hill, go back and look at that transcript. Is there anything remotely threatening going on there that the FBI should be looking into? Was there a crime committed?

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October 19, 2010

Mr. Hands was unavailable for comment

Dude,

“So he went over there to check on the horses. He later admitted to police that he may have inadvertently stuck his fingers inside the horse."


The creeper is being brought up on a host of charges, and will likely have to say,



...for a few years, anyway.

Thought I'd add that song just to make it more creepy and vomit inducing.

You're welcome.

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October 15, 2010

I feel like there's a missing word here

Let's see, what's the word I'm thinking of? I think it starts with a "D," but I just can't seem to put my finger on it...



Huh. It'll probably come to me. Eventually. In a few weeks.

(Via someone who should have known better.)

Update: I should note that this guy is a decorated combat veteran who has served our country honorably. Good on him for that.

It's just that he seems unwilling to mention a certain detail about his background. Funny, that.

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October 14, 2010

Ohmygawdthisishorrible

This documentary about how military contractors are (somehow wrongfully) providing jobs for people in Third World countries is being shown on a local PBS station here.  Your tax dollars paid for that to be shown.

On the other hand, HALLIBURTON!!!!!

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September 29, 2010

He "laughed"

"Look, as president, I swore to uphold the Constitution, and part of that Constitution is a free press," Obama laughed, in response to a question from Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner about whether or not Fox News was "a good institution for America and for democracy."
Okay, this is kind of not healthy for a few reasons.

Let's substitute "Obama" with "Nixon" and "Fox News" with "The New York Times." And, then, how about we wonder about liberals and the MFM (I know, I know) would react to a president being asked a question like that?

Sure, a president would laugh when confronted about a press outlet that was critical of him, but the way in which the question was posed and answered was disturbing.

I mean, here, you have the publisher of one part of the media sincerely asking about whether or not a competing (and there's no doubt here—victorious) competitor is good for democracy, and you've got the guy who we count on the most to uphold the Constitution yucking it up a little, not the least because he shares the interviewers' same prejudices.

Chimpy McBu$hitler laughing about ANY of our civil liberties being infringed upon in the slightest would be a major issue. Barry H. O'Fabulous? Not so much, apparently.

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September 22, 2010

Not This Idiot Again!

Yup, Bob Inglis is back, and stupider than ever.

Inglis, a Palmetto State Republican who was defeated earlier this year in a conservative primary challenge {for his general dickfistery and support for statism-ed}, said that "optimistic" conservatives might have been threatened by the conservative Tea Party movement.

"Well, not so much moderates. Surely, maybe they're unwelcome, but also conservatives of the optimistic sort," Inglis said during an appearance on CNN in response to a question about whether centrists were being forced out of the GOP.

"I think this would be a tough time for Ronald Reagan and Jack Kemp," Inglis added {notice he picked two dead guys who cannot speak for themselves. But more on that later-ed}. "They were optimists that believe in America. Right now, unfortunately, conservatism is being presented with a voice of snarling rather than a face of smiling, and it really doesn't fit America."


Ok. First of all, I really fucking think it is foul for an assfister and goatfucker such as Inglis to try to divine how and what Reagan and Kemp would do, especially since they have both left this mortal coil and can no longer speak for themselves. But rather than speak for Ronaldus Magnus, let me let him speak for himself.

Funny. A lot of that sounds just like what the "teabaggers" Inglis and the rest of the RINOs decry in the people who have defeated them, all while invoking Reagan. And this:

Fucking teahadi! Doesn't he know that RINOism is the way to go?
Well, soon to be former Congressman Inglis, let me learn you something:
more...

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September 21, 2010

Where to begin?

Ugh.



Okay, let's break this down...

1. Songs that a bunch of people get together to record for a cause are almost always awful, but schlock like "We Are The World" at least featured pop stars.  This features, um...

2. The song sucks.

3. It was inspired by soccer.

4. This is the most important thing that the peacemongers didn't mention: North Korea is a fucking nightmare state where famine isn't just common, it's state policy. Terror is an official government program, but that's not mentioned in the nice little song about "peace." Sing all you want, but the monsters who run North Korea don't give a shit. In fact, you're helping them.

Peace doesn't come from a fucking soccer game.

It comes from Kim Jong Il realizing that his Stalinist government is killing his own people. Peace is guaranteed by the Korean-born American army officer whose proud father lives across the street from me, worrying about whether or not his son is going to have to face a nuclear war or a screaming suicide charge from the only people who get to eat to his north.

Peace comes from freedom.  They don't say that things can be "bought for a song" for nothing.

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September 18, 2010

The Million Hipster March

What do you want to bet that when a few hundred Trustafarian assholes show up for this that it gets much more MFM coverage than Glenn Beck's rally did?

Also, "overwhelmingly white"?  We'll see.

Update: I'm sure they'll be looking out for racist and/or inflammatory signs at their rallies.  Because, you know, neither of them would want that sort of thing showing up at their events.

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September 15, 2010

Some facts and statistics about Delaware

Since we've all been at each others' throats about the GOP primary there, I thought it would be interesting to learn a little about the state and the people who live there, so:

Um...

Well, there's...

I guess there was that one guy from Delaware, who's famous for...

The most popular vacation destination in Delaware is, uhhh...

Where Pennsylvania gave us the Philly cheesesteak and Illinois has Chicago deep-dish pizza, Delaware's culinary heritage is notable for...

The biggest professional sports team there is...

Yeah.

Honestly, what does anyone even know about Delaware? I mean, nobody in my family has ever been there. I can't recall any of my friends or even casual acquaintances mentioning that they had ever set foot in the state. I don't know that I've ever seen images of the place on TV or in any form of print media (I would challenge you to identify the skyline or layout of any Delaware city or town, but it would likely be a fruitless endeavor). And I can honestly say that I've never met anybody who had actually ever lived there.

Hell, on the 2008 campaign trail, Joe Biden—who supposedly represented Delaware in the United States Senate for years and years—couldn't stop talking about how he was actually from Scranton, which is in another state entirely.

My conclusion? The most interesting thing about Delaware is that it does not really exist.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:26 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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September 10, 2010

"Help Fight for Change"

That's the title of the ad sponsored by Team Barry that keeps showing up in the sidebar of my little crapblog.

On the one hand, this pisses me off because I can't in good conscience ask you Morons to go over there and click on ads to contribute to my Booze and Smokes Aid for Starving Orphans Fund. On the other hand, it's kinda funny, seeing as how I am fighting for change.

Money well spent, champ.

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September 05, 2010

Dear Charlie Crist

Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you with that which you fear most: a shortage of spray tan. Fuck you for making a Democrat look classier than you. Fuck you because you are a fucking lying fuckdustery of fuckquackery and opportunism rolled up in a flaming fuckzeppelin of fuckbaggery set alight by the glowing fuck baggery you exude. And zenfuck you to enlightenment for saying shit like this after the declining health, and eventual death, of an opponent's father:

Former Republican Governor Charlie Crist, now an Independent, was also in attendance and I asked him what he thought of the elder Rubio’s illness, to which he responded, ” Yeah, I heard about that.”

How fucking crass is that? How fucking callous is that? And how fucking low of a wormburner do you fucking have to be to say something like that? And how fucking big of a cockhandler do you have to be to support that shit?

Seriously, "Governor", that is fucking low. No wonder you bolted the party before the primary: you don't have the fucking decency to listen to the people of Florida and stand down when they tell you. And treating an opponent in this fashion just exemplifies it further.

So fuck you, Charlie Crist. And fuck any RINOhumping fuckrumbler who still thinks getting rid of your orange coated ass was a bad move. Seeing Senator Rubio triumphfuck what will remain of your career this November will make everything worthwhile.

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September 03, 2010

Where to start?



I just saw this commercial (which has apparently been around for a year) and it's a perfect symbol for the federal government.  And that's not a good thing.

First of all, whoever came up with this seems to think that a "We Are the World"-type video is a relevant frame of reference circa 2009-10. Yeah.

Secondly, whoever decided that it would be a great idea to have a bunch of low-level Treasury Department staffers (I'm just guessing here—they could just as easily been Agriculture Department staffers or Justice Department lawyers who weren't busy working on ways to piss us all off) write a song...not a good idea.

Third, why are there a couple of black-suited, dark sunglasses-wearing agents from The Matrix in there? Seriously, those guys are in there twice. Did the Machines come up with this concept?

Actually, that would make a lot of sense.

Finally, we have Abe Lincoln telling us that this website is "So great, you might just get carpal-tunnel syndrome." Um, what? This government website is so good that you'll become somewhat disabled?

I give it a solid B+.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:37 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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August 23, 2010

Um, what?

Mike Lupica, who I thought was mainly a sportswriter, has a column today bitching about Newt Gingrich's opposition to the Ground Zero Mosque, calling him a "scary fanatic" in the title. Fine, whatever. But this line caught my eye:

Gingrich is a Catholic now, by the way, having decided that's not just the best way into heaven for him, but perhaps into the White House as well.
Uhhhh...Mike, I don't know if you've ever bothered to count, but we've had exactly one Catholic president in our 234 year history. You might want to stick to writing about the Yankees.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:19 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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August 21, 2010

In Response To A Dipshit

"Joe Bob" decided to leave this gem on a recent thread about liberals.

Yeah! Great F'ing points.   You know why I really hate liberals.  Because they want to spend money on public schools.  I hate having my daughter having to get a free and decent education.  And I hate how those liberals always want to spend money building highways.  Screw that.  They even spent a lot of money in the stimulus bill building highways.  Damnit, if we were a free country, we'd be driving on gravel.  You know what would be even worse?  Them wanting to spend my hard-earned salary on building schools.  And you know what I hate even worse?  People who say bigoted things about another group of people, like muslims, and then get slammed for it.  I'm the racist for saying that?  No, you're the racist for noticing that I said something about muslims.  God damn liberals


I left a quick response to him in the comments. But I have a more polished product to "Joe Bob" after the jump. But first:

*walks to the door with only "Joe Bob" and me in the room*

*locks door*

Now, "Joe Bob"...
more...

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August 19, 2010

Is Paris burning?

In the heat of the summer, tensions are running high all across the globe. A controversial mosque at Ground Zero. Iran developing nukes. Greece going broke. And...some French comic book character eating a "Royale with cheese."

A new McDonald's ad featuring Gallic champion Asterix enjoying a burger and fries has sparked outrage among French comic purists who see it as an insult to their national heritage.

 The billboard shows the fearless Gaul and friends celebrating their traditional banquet at the fast-food chain -- with Cacofonix the bard tied to a tree outside as usual.

"My childhood hero sacrificed like a wild boar! What next? Tintin eating at Subway?" said one horrified blogger called sirchmallow.

"How ironic, the indomitable Gauls making an advert for the invaders," was another outraged comment on Twitter.

Um, "invaders"? I was unaware that McDonalds had been sold to the Germans.

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August 08, 2010

Frank Rich: Campaign Genius

Look, I know that the MFM is going full bore to try to save the Democrat Party's skin this year, in the hopes of blunting losses, but if this is the best they can do, they are in big trouble.

I recall in 2006 the last gasps of the GOP's campaign was to say that "Speaker Pelosi" and "Leader Reid" would allow people such as Barney Frank, Chuck Rangel and Chuck Schumer run wild, and the public didn't care. Now that the shoe (apparently) is on the other foot, watching the MFM (who helped the Democrats win in 2006 by conveniently ignoring to report who the soon to be leaders really were like) thrash around is fucking hilarious.

Stick to food and theater, Frank.




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August 06, 2010

Wit

I've been told that The Atlantic was once a prominent magazine, full of thought-provoking articles and home to smart essayists.

And then, they hired Andrew Sullivan.

Excitable Andi is apparently setting the tone over there, seeing as how Jeffrey Goldberg seems comfortable writing dreck like this on their website:

It seems likely that Conde Nast, the publisher of such magazines as The New Yorker, GQ and Vanity Fair, will be moving into the office tower currently being built on the site of the destroyed Twin Towers. This news is a terrible affront to all patriotic and freedom-loving Americans, and an insult to the memories of those murdered on September 11th, 2001. It is hard to believe that Mayor Michael Bloomberg would allow this company to despoil such a holy place.

Why is this an insult to the victims of 9/11? The answer, I think, is obvious. Among the titles published by Conde Nast is the fashion magazine Vogue. Vogue publishes an Italian edition. Italy, of course, was the incubator of fascism. The terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center were Islamofascists. I think the connection is clear.
There's more har-de-har-har, you stupid, racist wingnuts stuff at the link, but I wouldn't bother if I were you.

If this is what passes for being "clever" in this day and age, I'll stick to sitting at home, swilling Val-U-Rite vodka out of a plastic jug and won't despair too much over the fact that the Smart Set never invites me to their cocktail parties.

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August 02, 2010

Resources

This comes from Excitable Andi's place (no link, natch) as Sunday's "Face Of The Day," which features the top of some guy's head (and very little of his actual face):

Members of the soccer team from Sacramento, California, cut their hair into mohawks, a tradition started last year, during the Street Soccer USA Cup July 30, 2010 in downtown Washington, DC. Twenty two teams made up of 200 homeless men and women players will compete for three days in the nation's capital for the chance to represent the Untied States in the 56-nation Homeless World Cup in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, in September.
While I'm sure this whole thing is meant to Raise Awareness™ about homelessness, am I the only one who thinks that the money spent flying the homeless soccer teams around (and figuring out how the hell to get them passports) might be better spent by finding them, you know, homes?

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July 18, 2010

Concern trolls

They're not just for blog comments anymore!

I hear consistently from conservatives who want The Star to write negatively about the tea party, too. One agreed the story soft-pedaled: “We used to be the party of William F. Buckley, of discourse and intellectual debate, not juvenile pranks picked up from 40 years of watching the street-theater clowns smashing windows at World Bank protests.”
That's from a Kansas City Star column by a guy named Derek Donovan, who apparently hosts a local talk radio show. It's actually part of a piece where Donovan lists responses to a previous discussion of supposed Tea Party racism, and he prints what he calls "rational and civil" criticisms of his earlier article.

I'm glad that he did so, but I'm disappointed that anyone could fall for the kind of bullshit that he fell for from the so-called "conservative" who wrote to him about the character of the Tea Partiers.

(Oh, wait, did the corespondent happen to have the initials "DF"?)

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:35 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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