February 27, 2009

So Wait! Is Obama A Lightworker Or A Zen Master?

Seriously, the cultish behavior of his followers is no longer comical, scary, but rather sad.

The conundrum is obvious and compelling and, as always, deeply enhanced -- if not wholly solved -- by vodka.

It goes something like this: Do you allow yourself, even now, to feel any sort of ongoing, relieved, merciful joy that Barack Obama actually is sitting in the Big Chair in the White House? That this elegant, articulate, Zen-like man whose integrity is rock-solid and whose ideas, while certainly not in perfect alignment with every ultra-lefty vision on the planet (clean coal? Please), are astonishingly ambitious and brave, is leading this nation during one of the worst economic times in its short and paroxysmal history?

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February 23, 2009

Maybe It's Just Me, But I Think We May Have A Budding Frivolous Lawsuit Problem

I mean, how else can you explain patent infringement lawsuits over yoga positions?

India has been angered at attempts by mostly American yoga teachers to patent moves from their classes as their own originals.

Since its arrival in Britain and America in the late 1960s and early 1970s, when it was popularised by Beatles guitarist George Harrison, among others, Yoga has become a $225 billion industry.

In India, however, it remains collective knowledge – practiced in public parks where gurus often teach fast breathing exercises, like pranayam, and different 'sun-salutations,' free of charge.

But as the number of Western yoga teachers has grown, there has been a steady increase in patent applications claiming each pose in their class is not part of the ancient discipline of mind and body, but their own unique invention. In the United States alone, there have been more than 130 yoga-related patents, 150 copyrights and 2,300 trademarks. Now India's Traditional Knowledge Digital Library is being made available to patents offices throughout the world so they can establish whether the claim is a genuine innovation or "prior art" from Indian systems of medicine.

So far a team of yoga gurus from nine schools have worked with government officials and 200 scientists from the Council of Scientific and Industrial Research (CSIR) to scan 35 ancient texts including the Hindu epics, the Mahabharata and the Bhagwad Gita, and Patanjali's Yoga Sutras to register each native pose.

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February 19, 2009

Apparently, Michelle wasn't the only one

Guess what these fine American patriots on the campus of Brown University are referring to:

"It was the first time in our lives we felt proud to be American," Sarah Schoenbrun '09 later recalled. Deanna Saunders '11 noted, "My friend said she'd never sung 'The Star Spangled Banner' before. But that night she sang it like she really meant it."
Yeah, that was election night. And the author of the piece somehow believes that this contradicts "the conventional wisdom that college campuses in general, and Brown's in particular, have become hotbeds of left-leaning, blame-America-first cynics."  Riiiiight.  Because patriotism is all about The One.
One day a few weeks after the election, Kaitlyn Scott '10 sat in the Blue Room eating her lunch. She was wearing a T-shirt with an American flag emblazoned on the front. "I haven't taken this out of the drawer in years," she said, "and finally I feel like I can wear it again."
You know what?  Fuck you, Kaitlyn. And fuck your classmates, too. Frankly, you're what's wrong with this country.  Sadly, I doubt that you'll ever wake up from your Cult of Personality and realize that.

(h/t)

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Barf

Seriously, why was this person ever considered a conservative?  I mean, Chris Matthews is probably embarrassed by this sort of crap.

(h/t)

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February 18, 2009

Who said it?

Which liberal pundit had the following to say embarrassingly gush after spending some time with Barack Obama on an extra-special Air Force One trip last weekend?

No one has a crystal ball these days -- certainly not Obama, as he keeps telling us. But his optimism and faith in the American character may be our best medicine. Asked what the American people should do -- shop? -- he urged confidence that "the same productive capacity that we had before is still there." Describing government and the economy as ocean liners, not speedboats, he said our goals are long-term. Nothing can be judged by a one-day market rise or fall. At the end of his first presidential term, Americans will be able to say that we are in a different place.
Click here to find out!

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Obsession

The Palin family has been in the news lately, so you know who felt the need to rear his ugly, addled head.  St. Andrew of the Blessed Heart-Ache notes (no link, per dpud editorial policy) that Sarah's then-unannounced pregnancy was discovered by one of her daughters when she found an ultrasound of her as-yet unborn brother:

But such an ultrasound was never released, even off the record, to the press. Wouldn't that have saved everyone a lot of grief?
Since when is it any female politician's responsibility to release an ultrasound to the press, Andi? And the only people who felt any "grief" about it were bugfuck crazy conspiracy theorists like you and those of us who are, for some reason, big enough gluttons for punishment that we still pay any attention to your literally demented ass.

Oh, and while we're talking about medical matters, has the man you wish through some miracle of mad science could become your baby daddy released his medical records?  Yeah, I didn't think so.

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Dumbass Philly Judge to Philly PD: Uh, how about taking that fallen officer memorial out of here?

During a preliminary hearing at the 35th district headquarters, the judge put a photo of an officer killed this past week by a career criminal face down, then asked the memorial to be removed...the Philly PD pretty much told him to fuck himself sideways, as they should have.  35 is the same district our fellow moronblogger Wyatt works in, needless to say, he's a bit less than happy about this

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February 17, 2009

It is to laugh (or is it?)

Regarding Rush Limbaugh's "I hope Obama fails" remark, which has been taken out of context by just about every hack in the country, some hack in Michigan named Todd Leva adds his two cents:

The problem with Rush and his ilk is this: Where does it get us? Does it advance the discussion(s)? Does it help the nation? I cannot see how openly rooting for the failure of a new presidency, knowing the dire consequences that that entails, helps in any way shape or form (especially after the past eight years).
I would link to something negative about George W. Bush from the Daily Kos or the Huffington Post or Democratic Underground or CNN or NPR or ABC or The New York Times or Newsweek, but you get the idea.

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February 13, 2009

Okay, this is getting out of hand

We all like to make cracks about Obama being The One or The Messiah, but this is just creepy.

(h/t)

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February 12, 2009

And You Thought The U.S. Courts Were Screwed Up

Just check out India's High Court.

The High Court in New Delhi is so behind in its work that it could take up to 466 years to clear the enormous backlog, the court's chief justice said in a damning report that illustrates the decrepitude of India's judicial system.

The Delhi High Court races through each case in an average of four minutes and 55 seconds but still has tens of thousands of cases pending, including upward of 600 that are more than 20 years old, according to the report.

The problems of the Delhi High Court, which hears civil, criminal, and constitutional cases, is more the standard than the exception in India. The country's creaky judicial system has long been plagued by corruption, inefficiency and lack of accountability, often making the rule of law unattainable for all but the wealthy and the well-connected.

The United Nations Development Program says some 20 million legal cases are pending in India.


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February 11, 2009

One More Reason To Hate The Senate Moderates

They seem to have worked hand in glove with The Deciders to keep the Thrill Up The Leg going.

Sadly, in their first crucial vote of the 111th Congress, these three moderate Senators showed their true colors; in so doing they not only let down the nation, but also every other Republican in the House AND Senate who unlike them courageously voted against this irresponsible act.

With one fell swoop, they stabbed in the back every conservative in the country while making it clear that President Obama actually does have a filibuster-proof Senate despite not having the necessary 60 Democrats in his pocket.

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February 09, 2009

Anybody Up For Some Gator Rasslin'

Just go to Florida.

The contest is part of the first annual Seminole Okalee Indian Festival, an art, music and culture fair showcasing the replica of an authentic Seminole village tucked snugly behind an outdoor mall and the casino parking lot.

The rules of competitive deep-water gator-wrestling are simple and few. ''I don't want to see no hitting the alligator, no jabbing the alligator,'' said veteran wrestler Paul Simmons, now a maintenance foreman for the Seminole Tribe but serving as a judge. ``Don't disrespect the alligator.''

If a man bled all over the place, he could be disqualified at the judges' discretion; if it was just a nick, man-flesh snagged on gator-tooth, they'd probably let it go.

Every man signed a waiver acknowledging that ALLIGATOR WRESTLING IS VERY DANGEROUS and involves the risk of serious injury and/or death and/or property damage.

Gators were drawn at random, with judges rating performances on showmanship, originality, difficulty and variety of stunts, not unlike figure skating or rodeo, except in deep-water gator-wrestling a man doesn't start astride his gator.

The gator gets tossed into seven feet of water and the man dives in to get him.

Billy Walker did this and had the misfortune of drawing a gator who came willingly, then more or less took a nap on the beach beside the pool.

Shea Hayley had the misfortune of drawing a gator who did not come willingly at all.

It was an eight-footer and Hayley grabbed him by the snout -- unwisely, perhaps, in hindsight. The gator thrashed out of his grip, snapped viciously, everybody screamed, and Hayley had to swim very fast backward to keep ownership of his hands.

He looked scared but he gulped some air and went down again. He was breathing hard when he got the thing out and went into his routine: the nail-clip, sticking a hand in the gator's mouth and whipping it out before the jaws whomped shut; bulldogging, holding the gator's snout shut with his chin alone; the Florida smile, bending the gator's head back and displaying its toothy maw to the crowd.

If you think the gator didn't really want to smile, you're probably right. ''I believe alligators probably would much rather be left alone,'' said Kent Vliet, professor of crocodilian biology at the University of Florida, this week.

''If you gave these gators the opportunity, they'd make every attempt to escape having to go through this again.'' But, he added, ``I don't think most of those routines are harmful to the animal at all.''

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He Must Be The One

Who else would be able to accomplish THIS?

Regardless of what the critics say, there are no earmarks in this bill. That’s part of the change that we’re bringing to Washington, is making sure that this money is well-spent to actually create jobs right here in Elkhart.

827 billion dollars including bullshit like dog parks and condoms and not one red cent for politician's pet projects.  He truly is the messiah.

 

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttt....

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February 03, 2009

An Addams Family Musical Is In The Works? Oh Dear G-D In Heaven!

Wasn't this a sign of the apocalypse?

Good buzz is coming out of this week's invitation-only reading of "The Addams Family" musical, with lots of cheers for what one spy calls a "brilliantly funny" cast - Nathan Lane (Gomez), Bebe Neuwirth (Morticia), Kevin Chamberlain (Uncle Fester), Marylouise Burke (Grandmama) and Terence Mann and Jan Maxwell as a "normal" couple.

Rick Elice and Marshall Brickman, who wrote "Jersey Boys," have come up with an original story, taking nothing from either the TV show or the movies. The Addams estate, I'm told, was adamant that the musical be based solely on Charles Addams' New Yorker drawings.

"They have complete control over just about everything on this show, and they rule with an iron fist," a source says of the estate, which is said to collect millions of dollars a year on all things Addams.

The musical is set in the present day, and the Addams family lives in a spooky castle in the middle of Central Park. The plot is a bit like "Meet the Parents," with Gomez and Morticia throwing a dinner party for the parents of their daughter Wednesday's boyfriend.

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February 01, 2009

It's Super Sunday!

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Doorbells?

No, really, we're gonna spend nearly a hundred grand for doorbells.  And make sure to check out the massive job creation that particular project, um, stimulates

Yeah.  Nice work if you can get it.

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