July 31, 2009

Attention Washington state Morons

You might want to head to the liquor store.  NOW!

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:51 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 14 words, total size 1 kb.

July 28, 2009

Project much?

Sure, five or six years ago the photoshops were funny, but since then?  I have no fucking idea what Ace or Malkin still see in this douche.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:52 PM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
Post contains 29 words, total size 1 kb.

Note to Hewlett Packard and Microsoft

I need to have about one more system crash, followed by a 40 minute startup repair about one more fucking time on this nine month old computer before I opt to purchase a large-bore rifle (thinking .45-70) with a few boxes of ammunition and pound this fucking hunk of junk computer to dust.  Then I'll go buy a Mac, so not only will I have a computer that fucking works, I'll have the added bonus of being able to spite urban hipster douches by sullying their precious brand with my epic uncoolness. 

Sincerely,

doubleplusundead

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:41 AM | Comments (30) | Add Comment
Post contains 100 words, total size 1 kb.

July 25, 2009

Shocking news!

It turns out that (gasp!) David Brooks is actually a squishy, faux-conservative, Obama-worshiping douche.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:23 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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July 24, 2009

Doing important work for the American people



Yeah, yeah, there are hundreds (if not thousands) of resolutions of this type introduced on the floor of the House every year, but aren't there a few more pressing issues facing our country that you could be dealing with right now?

(On the other hand, perhaps we ought to be glad that Maxine Waters is busy with crap like this other than, you know, dealing with a few of the more pressing issues facing our country, so there is that.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:14 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 22, 2009

"I don't know all the facts"

After saying that (which, I might add, the AP clip below omits) about the arrest of Professor Henry Louis Gates of Harvard, President Awesome Obama had the following to say...



That's right.  Even though he doesn't know the facts in the case (which might include Gates acting belligerently toward the police), the cops "acted stupidly." 

I hope members of law enforcement unions who backed this jackass during the election were watching that.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:59 PM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
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July 20, 2009

Remember The Adage About Being Careful What You Wish For?

Please let this fuckstick find out that you just might get what you ask for (even if it's in sarcasm). Especially when it involves conjuring up the Dark Lord Cheney.

May I presume that Mr. Cheney will be remunerated in his customary way: a gunnysack filled with unblemished human heads?

Oh, if you only knew what you are bringing upon you with that crack. And I would pay extra to see your head att he top of the sack.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:54 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 13, 2009

Sigh

Granted, my blog is basically just a bunch of links to news stories about people getting drunk and/or high and committing crimes and/or having embarrassing sexual encounters, plus my lame jokes about those things, but I can't make more than about ten bucks off my blog ads (Seriously, why aren't you people clicking?!!!  My smokes and Val-U-Rite vodka don't pay for themselves!) but Joshua Micah Ezekiel Bullfinch Hirohito Balzac DiMaggio Marshall gets a million dollars? Really?

Life is unfair.

Warning: That second link goes to the Sulzberger Times.

(Via Punchingbagpundit.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:27 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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July 09, 2009

The ultimate in It's For the Children™ bullshit

I know Alice's post below is hard to top, but peep this.

*barf*

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:39 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 07, 2009

The Truth Is Out There



(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:52 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Um, I know I'm not supposed to ask this...

...seeing as how I'm a "Person of Pallor," but, seriously, what's up with the outpouring of grief from the "black community" as far as the death of Michael Jackson is concerned? They had a retrospective of his music at the A.M.E. Church here in L.A. a few days ago, and I've seen countless black people on the news emoting over him and talking about how they're introducing their children (yes, really!) to his music.  Not to mention how Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have managed to get in on this story.

The thing is, well, I'm not the kind of person who's usually hung up on ethnic/racial identity, but has there ever been anyone who has sprinted as far and fast away from who he really was than Michael Jackson?

For example, let's look at this...

http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn209/doubleplusundeadnu/Michael-Jackson-Ben.jpg

And then, more recently...

http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn209/doubleplusundeadnu/michael-jackson-neverland.jpg

I think it was Chris Rock who made the joke about Jackson and America being the only place in the world where a poor boy from Gary, Indiana could grow up to be a rich, white woman, but I haven't heard anybody mention anything like that since he died. I know that we're not to speak ill of the dead, but...

...well, I don't know where I'm going with this, really. Should we be colorblind always? Should we look at race when it's sort of weird to do so? Should we all just drink ourselves into oblivion? The answer is probably the latter, but, well, derp. And glug.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:53 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 05, 2009

Do we get to vote?

Remember the Elvis stamp from a few years ago? Where we got to vote on whether it would depict the "young Elvis" or the "fat Elvis"? I can only hope that if this comes to pass, we get to vote on "young, dynamic pop star who recorded some of the biggest hits of the eighties" or "bleached-out, drug-addicted scarecrow and child molester." I'd go with the latter, personally.

You know, I hate Rev. Al with all the white-hot passion of a million suns going supernova, but I'll be damned if I don't admire his ability to weasel his way into this whole thing.

(Okay, "admire" isn't quite the right word, but you know what I mean.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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July 03, 2009

Margaret Cho: Still, Still, Still Not Funny


Warning: NSFW

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 01, 2009

RACIST!!!!

In an article from the UK titled "Down the Mississippi," some ignorant Americans bring up "Obama's Muslim background":

"They would listen to him a lot more openly because they don’t think of him as a pure Westernised person. It is a big deal. They can relate to that part of him, the middle name of Hussein, him being brought up in an Asian country.”
You're not supposed to mention that, you knuckledragging redneck troglody—oh, wait...

I guess it's okay to mention his middle name and his experiences under certain circumstances, but not others.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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