August 31, 2009

Live long and fester

So there's (unsurprisingly) some speculation that a member of the Kennedy family may be running for Teddy's vacant hereditary Senate seat. Yeah, what a shock. But this quote from an irony-challenged Dem politico in the article jumped out at me...

"It's not just a Kennedy vacating the job -- it's a Senate seat in Massachusetts, and these do not come along but maybe once in a lifetime," said Dan Payne, a veteran Boston-based Democratic consultant.
Um, that opportunity only comes around "once in a lifetime" because the Kennedys have had a death-grip (pun very much intended) on that seat since Eisenhower was in the White House. That's a pretty long lifetime, considering the fact that you've got to be at least thirty to serve in that chamber.

The sooner we're done with this family of self-serving douchebags masquerading as champions of the downtrodden while living high on the hog, the better.

Oh, and if the people of Massachusetts manage to elect another one of these assholes who believe that they're entitled to political power simply on the basis of their name, I say we take off and nuke the entire state from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

(And if the Red Sox happen to be playing a home game, well, that's just a bonus.)

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August 30, 2009

Commie Chic

Does anybody else thinks it's kinda creepy/weird/ignorantly-stupid that there's a crew called "KGB" who claim to know everything and are using it for capitalist purposes?

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August 27, 2009

I've read some stupid stuff in my day...

...hell, I've quoted any number of things that Kathleen Parker has scrawled over the past few months, but she looks like a genius compared to Anne Lamott, who penned this godawful piece of shit that appeared in today's LAT under the title of "Dear Mister Obama":

I am afraid there has been a misunderstanding since that election in 2008, during which 66,882,230 Americans cast their votes for you. Perhaps one of your trusted advisors has given you bum information. Maybe they told you that we voted for you -- walked, marched, prayed, fund-raised and knocked on doors for you -- because we hoped you would try to reunite the country. Of the total votes cast that long-ago November day, I'm guessing that about 1,575 people wanted you to try to reconcile the toxic bipartisanship that culminated in those Sarah Palin rallies.

The other 66,880,655 of us wanted universal healthcare.
Yes, because all but a tiny sliver of Obama's voters wanted the government to take over a massive part of our lives. I'm not saying that they shouldn't have seen that coming, but really, who appointed you to speak for all those people who believed that he was the post-partisan centrist he claimed to be, especially considering that his support among independents has been steadily eroding during this healthcacre debacle?

It goes downhill from there. Seriously. Lamott actually (and I'm not kidding here) compares Obama's relationship with congressional Republicans to a seventh grade crush of hers that didn't work out, claims that the Constitution (after eight years of Chimpy McBu$hiler, natch) seems "beyond redemption, like my kitchen floor did briefly last week after my dog, Bodhi, accidentally ate 24 corn bread muffins," and invokes "our founding parents." Yeah.

I would recommend that you read the whole thing, but you might as well just go out into your garage and huff some paint thinner. It'll give you the same effect.

Update: Well, this explains a lot...

Note the famous "compassionate head tilt."

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August 26, 2009

A tribute to Ted Kennedy

As much as I disagreed with Kennedy I have to admit that he accomplished a great deal in his life and career and he should be remembered for his accomplishments on this the day of his death:

  • He was born
  • Got thrown out of Harvard for cheating
  • Used his father's political clout to keep him out of combat in Korea (would later criticize George W. Bush for supposedly using his father's political clout to stay out of the war in Vietnam)
  • Cheated on his wife repeatedly
  • Had a Senate seat bought for him by his father
  • Swam away from a campaign worker who was trapped in a submerged car, then went home and slept for 10 hours while she slowly asphyxiated before calling the police.  Lied at the inquiry and escaped all but the lightest punishment.
  • Abandoned South Vietnam to a brutal communist dictatorship.
  • Attempted to work with the USSR to bring down an American president.
  • Abandoned Nicaragua to a brutal communist dictatorship
  • Used his political influence in a rape case against his nephew.

and that's just what I can remember off the top of my head.  Truly Kennedy was a man of many accomplishments. 

In light of his huge body of work is naming a health care reform bill after him really enough? 

I don't think so!

In that vein I would like to suggest that we start a foundation to raise money to build the Edward Kennedy Memorial Waterpark in Chappaquidick.  The centerpiece can be a waterslide that you descend in locked car that smells of booze and cigars and has an attractive female passenger.  After the car submerges you get to swim to shore while leaving her behind.

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August 25, 2009

Here we go again

Since "Cash for Clunkers" has worked so spectacularly well, let's try another program structured along the same lines:

The Obama administration hopes a new incentive program will help the economy and the environment, persuading people it's time to replace that creaky old thing in your kitchen. The federal government has set aside $300 million for the program as part of the economic stimulus plan.

The details of the program are still being worked out, and they will vary from state to state. State governments have until Oct. 15 to send detailed plans to Washington.

I saw a report on this on a local news program, where some appliance dealer was hopeful about this giving his moribund business a shot in the arm. Yeah, good luck with that.

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August 20, 2009

Is this covered by McCain/Feingold "You shut up law?"

At about 1:30 into this movie trailer, they take a shot at Sarah Palin.

That will be playing in many, many, many theaters, all over everwhere and on DVD and Blu-Ray movies produced during a certain time and you know they'll extend that time and make sure it's included in every movie everywhere when she runs for president. That movie will be on CBS, NBC and ABC every Monday-Wednesday morning at 3 AM just so they can run that clip 24/7 in the weeks leading up to the election. Of course, NBC will just run that clip instead of infomercials during down times.
They need to make sure people think "snowbilly" when they think Sarah Palin.

So at what point is this covered under McCain/Feingold? If they can worry about Arnold movies, Teh Fred shows, Hillary documentaries, ads from me and whoever else the Supreme Court thinks it's okay to shut up, why not here?

This is a serious question. I mean, I know why, but really.
Minitru and their Hollywood arm have the biggest megaphones and spew this stuff constantly while anybody else gets muzzled.

Isn't there some way we could get the courts to at least consider that maybe, just for kicks and giggles, they could possibly, you know, conditionally, look into this too?
Maybe they could just scrap the whole the freaking thing?

Speech requires money anymore, make it free just make it open and keep it American (The money I mean).

H/t Gateway Pundit
(edited for spelling)

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August 19, 2009

The pot calls the kettle fake

*cough* George Soros *cough*

I find it laughable that an organization that claims to be a media watchdog would include clips from MSNBC while claiming that there's some sort of nefarious right wing media conspiracy to gin up outrage against Obamacare.

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Dick Cheney was a war profiteer!!!

Call me cynical, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that this gets about 0.001% of the coverage that Cheney's ties to teh EEEEEEVIL Halliburton received.


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August 14, 2009

Bloviator in Chief

Gee, why does this not surprise me at all?

Much has been made of the chance for true, interactive democracy offered by the freewheeling town hall format that lawmakers are using in health care forums across the country.

But what the White House is calling a "town hall meeting" does not quite follow in the tradition of the public-driven forums that sprouted centuries ago in New England.

It's more like a press conference for the public.

In an orderly fashion, selected members of the audience pose brief questions, and the president elaborates.

And elaborates. And elaborates.

A look at President Obama's health care "town hall" Tuesday in Portsmouth, N.H., shows the president out-spoke his audience by a ratio of nearly 9-to-1.

Here's the scorecard.

Obama: 8,619 words.

Audience: 1,186 words.

That's what you get when you combine a tendency to ramble (and ramble and ramble some more) with a guy who's obviously in love with the sound of his own voice. His State of the Union addresses are going to be deadly.

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August 10, 2009

A glimpse into our not-too-distant future?

What would socialized medicine mean for the Moron Lifestyle? I'm gonna go ahead and guess that we'll end up with our own "health campaigners" calling for an increase in the price of booze, telling retailers how much they should charge for said booze, and giving us "helpful" suggestions about how much we ought to be able to drink.

You know, to "bend the cost curve."

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August 07, 2009

I'm Just Glad This Didn't Happen In Wisconsin

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? Do these two have parents?

A youth who had unlawful sex with an 11-year-old girl walked free yesterday after a court was shown graphic content from the girl's Bebo site.

Dylan Murray, 16, escaped custody after a sheriff was shown scantily clad images of the girl and highly sexual language used by her on the social networking site.

Perth Sheriff Court was told that the case was 'depressing' because it involved such a young girl being involved in inappropriately adult behaviour.

Honestly, I think they both should be put in jail instead of letting him go just because she's a filthy skank.  I mean, this IS RAPE, isn't it?  What is the difference between this and the "she was asking for it" routine?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:57 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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How (not) to win elections

(Bear with me, because this is gonna be a bit long.)

Kathleen Parker, the nation's second most prominent "conservative" voice (after Andrew Sullivan, that is), believes that the only way for the GOP to get back into power is to alienate one of its most reliable voting blocs, namely Southerners. Oh, and she manages to throw in a jab at her least favorite person in the word in the process:

A telling anecdote recounted by Pat Buchanan to New Yorker writer George Packer last year captures the dark spirit that still hovers around the GOP. In 1966 Buchanan and Richard Nixon were at the Wade Hampton Hotel in Columbia, S.C., where Nixon worked a crowd into a frenzy: "Buchanan recalls that the room was full of sweat, cigar smoke, and rage; the rhetoric, which was about patriotism and law and order, 'burned the paint off the walls.' As they left the hotel, Nixon said, 'This is the future of this Party, right here in the South.' "

That same rage was on display again in the fall of 2008, but this time the frenzy was stimulated by a pretty gal with a mocking little wink. Sarah Palin may not have realized what she was doing, but Southerners weaned on Harper Lee heard the dog whistle.

The curious Republican campaign of 2008 may have galvanized a conservative Southern base -- including many who were mostly concerned with the direction Democrats would take the country -- but it also repelled others who simply bolted and ran the other way. Whatever legitimate concerns the GOP may historically have represented were suddenly overshadowed by a sense of a resurgent Old South and all the attendant pathologies of festering hate and fear.

What the GOP is experiencing now, one hopes, are the death throes of that 50-year spell that Johnson foretold. But before the party of the Great Emancipator can rise again, Republicans will have to face their inner Voinovich and drive a stake through the heart of old Dixie.

Where to start? Well, with that first paragraph, I guess.

I don't know if Kathleen has noticed, but this isn't 1966 anymore. While, earlier in the column, she graciously asserts that "Not all Southern Republicans are wing nuts. Nor does the GOP have a monopoly on ignorance or racism," she jumps straight from that to a comment on birtherism, noting without batting an eye that a poll commissioned by The Daily Kos (!) found that a majority of Southern Republicans believe in the theory. Now,even if the poll itself is suspect, I find that troubling, but how about we work within the party to tamp down this idiocy? And, really, how long is this going to remain an issue? Hopefully not very long.

Next, well, fuck you, Kathleen, for insinuating that someone you're jealous of is, basically, an unconscious racist, ignorantly sparking redneck resentments. Don't think that's what she was saying? Well, watch the clip here, where she and Legthrill riff on that. Note that Allah, who admits he's "someone who’s not known for being a great fan of either Sarahcuda or the south," is disgusted by the clip. Be sure to also note while watching it that ever-so-smart Kathleen is convinced that Palin is likely unfamiliar with To Kill A Mockingbird—something which seems unlikely considering the fact that she's got a college education (though, of course, not from "The Right Kind of Schools"), she's the daughter of educators, and she has children in middle and high school. They don't just read Harper Lee in the Ivy Leagues, Kathleen, you fucking bitch. Really, click over and watch that clip at Hot Air. And try not to punch your monitor.

I'm not sure what Parker means in the next paragraph when she calls the GOP's campaign "curious." It's either A) That McCain and his people didn't know what the fuck they were doing (I'd be inclined to agree) or B) That it was "curious" in that they didn't just roll over and concede defeat the instant that her BFF Barack became the Dem nominee. Call me cynical, but I suspect it's the latter, especially since she breezily goes between noting that some southern GOPers were "mostly concerned with the direction Democrats would take the country" and basically screaming "RACISM!!!"

Ah, and then we get to the end, where Kathleen suggests that we have to "drive a stake through the heart of old Dixie" before we can win again. What does she suggest this will do to help the party? Well, nothing, really. But somehow, this is going to lead to a resurgence of "the party of the Great Emancipator." Meanwhile, those loyal (but icky) southern GOP voters should go, um, where, exactly? Only Kathleen, apparently, knows for sure. But she does suggest that the party should face its inner, well, this...

(Sorry, but I could only find a clip that included the Olberdouche at the beginning.)

This is the essence of the "conservative" pet columnists like Kathleen that the MSM loves.  Nothing but shitting all over the base and kissing up to moderates, all the while pretending that this is the solution to the GOP's problems. But, there really isn't any solution offered, other than, "Hey, let's get rid of those rubes who I don't care for." And then, what? All your elitist buddies suddenly become "staunch conservatives" while the "bitter clingers" you've just told to fuck off do...what? Sit at home? Form some impotent third party?

But of course. It all makes sense, now. Either one of those options would help "conservative" Kathleen's schoolgirl crush, now wouldn't they?

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August 05, 2009

Why so serious stupid?

Some guy named Philip Kennicott from the WaPo has a lengthy piece on the Obama-as-Joker poster which ends with the conclusion that it's bad because, well, take a guess...

Obama, like the Joker and like the racial stereotype of the black man, carries within him an unknowable, volatile and dangerous marker of urban violence, which could erupt at any time. The charge of socialism is secondary to the basic message that Obama can't be trusted, not because he is a politician, but because he's black.

That's right, making Obama look like a white actor in white makeup is somehow RACIST!!! Here's a dumb question: Is there any way in which Obama can be portrayed negatively that isn't RACIST?

I think we all know the answer to that.

Thanks: To Gabriel Malor over at Moron Central for linking this and for tackling a few of the uglier implications of the article that I just couldn't be bothered to look at, seeing as how there's been plenty of outrage to go around over the last few days. I'm tired of it all, but I'm still pissed.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

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August 02, 2009

Paul is dead

Well, dead to me, anyway.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:57 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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August 01, 2009

Just when you thought the birthers couldn’t get any more stupid...

.toidi gnikcufrehtom diputs a yllaer er’uoy ,tihs siht fo yna eveileb yllautca uoy fI

!kcuf ssA :etadpU

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:48 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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