December 31, 2008
Plus perhaps to "accidentally" link to lesbian porn.
What I'll really be interested in is what McCain does, does he allow his "all politics is personal" side come out, and oppose media bailouts for their shabby treatment of him during the 2008 campaign? Or will he come crawling back to his main contituency, like the voters in Murtha's district did to Fat Jack (I can't believe you idjit voters in Western PA let Murtha make you his bitch like that).
As for resolutions, I think they're ridiculous, but I promise I'm going to actually, oh, I dunno, write at my own crapblog a bit more, I know I haven't been posting as much.
On Sunday, Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei issued a religious decree to Muslims to defend the people of Gaza in any way possible and said anyone who died from this would be a martyr.Following that, five hard-line student groups and the Combatant Clergy Society began signing up volunteers for military, financial or propaganda aid to Gaza.They have a Combatant Clergy Society? Of course they do.
But there apparently was one (brief) positive development...
Criticism of Hamas is rare in Iran. However, in an unusual move, the Iranian Kargozaran newspaper published a letter from another student group which called Hamas a terrorist organization for taking refuge in "kindergartens and hospitals." Following this, the Kargozaran, a reformist publication close to former Iranian president Hashemi Rafsanjani, was shut down.Gee, what a shock. Seriously, though, let's hope the paper's editors and employees are safe. I don't think the Mullahs buy into the whole "dissent is the highest form of patriotism" thing.
Christopher Hitchens basically calling Bill Maher and his audience stupid, then flipping them off:
On an unrelated note, if you tell anyone today that you'll "see them next year," you deserve to be punched in the throat. I've been at work since 1pm (until 9pm) and ten people have used that line. It's not funny. Never has been.
The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office said an 88-year-old woman fended off a naked intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing. Deputy Paul McRedmond said the man got into the house Tuesday through a sliding door. He backed the woman into her living room and pushed her face down onto a chair.
That's when the woman reached behind and squeezed. The man tore free and fled.
I said Israel will attack any boat carrying doctors and medical supplies--they have turned away the red cross already and all medical and food assistance. Israel is a NAZI state. The Jewish Soul is being tortured in Israel. The destruction of the jews in Israel has been assured with this inhuman attack on civilians in gaza. Hamas is the street gangs---this is equivilent to los angeles attacking and launching war on the people of watts to attempt to kill the bloods and the crips.
2. Using profanity is against the law on playgrounds and in public parks in Columbia, Md.
3. The last Sunday in June each year is Log Cabin Day in Michigan.
4. In Michigan, it is legal to kill a dog for attacking chickens, livestock or people, but you can't snuff the pooch in a high altitude decompression chamber or by electrocution.
5. In West Virginia, anyone who taunts someone who decides not to participate in a duel or who declines to accept a challenge is guilty of a misdemeanor and can be sent to jail for up to six months and fined up to $100.
6. In Kentucky it is illegal to sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display, or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits that have been dyed or colored. It is also illegal to dye or color baby chicks, ducklings, fowl or rabbits. And unless they are at least two months old, the aforementioned animals must be sold in batches of six.
(Yeah...I haven't blogged in a few days and this is what I awake from my Val-U-Rite holiday stupor to write...)
But while we're on the wild wide world of scary tour, of course, Israel has started another war. A third straight day of airstrikes on Gaza, the death toll now more than 300 people. Israel says they are doing this to prevent Palestinians from firing rockets into southern Israel. First of all, there's the question of proportionality as to how many people those rockets have killed versus how many people the Israeli bombing has now killed. There's also the issue of effectiveness. In the midst of this massive air assault killing hundreds of civilians in Gaza, a rocket fired from Gaza today killed a man and wounded seven in the Israeli town of Ashkelon. Effectiveness. Three Israelis were also stabbed by a Palestinian in a Jewish settlement in the West Bank today. Is there a military solution to this problem?
Maybe. Maybe not. But when a dimbulb like this is touted as a rising star on a cable network that is nothing more than a broadcast version of the Daily Kos, what does that say?
Its been a great year for Morons so now you get the chance to pick the Moron of the YEAR! I have narrowed the list down to the following five but feel free to add your favorites from the Moron of the Day category in the comments if you think I'm an idiot.
- The Holy Diver - A man that loves his karaoke so much he'd kill for it.
- The Travelling DUI's - The family that binge drinks and drives together stays together... in jail.
- Federal Boobie Inspectors - What could be better than that?
- Bear Slayer - Stone. Cold. Badass.
- Hammer Time - The news story that made you ask, "which end of the hammer goes in there" and prompted Alice "Anal Penetration Expert" H. to respond "it helps you pull it out."
The truck, carrying 12 tonnes of freshly brewed beer, lost most of its load on a sharp left-hand turn at the bottom of a hill, according to Kassel police inspector Wolfgang Jungnitsch.
Nearly 80 crates carrying about 800 litres flew off the truck, most of the bottles smashed, and their contents quickly froze in the chilly temperature of about minus 4 degrees Celsius, he said.
"A sheet of ice quickly formed and the air was filled with beer fumes," Inspector Jungnitsch added.
It took an hour to clear the intersection, and police said the trucker faced a fine for not securing his load properly.
I recently got into my annual debate with an ultra-liberal family member and therefore will be ranting to you on several topics I was too tired/rushed/drunk to flesh out during the debate.
One issue we approached was the intrinsic disadvantage people of "victim classes" live under. I think it works like this:
A person of a victim class looks at their life and says, "this shit is fucking hard and it never gets any easier." Then, they look at their own efforts and do not find them lacking so they look to find the reason why. History provides them with fodder for saying their difficulties in life are caused by racism/sexism/etcism.*
Now, society and government buy into this grievance and attempt in good faith to alleviate it. Things change and life disadvantages are removed but ... what the fuck? Life is still hard! The system must still be broken.
The cycle repeats forever.
Why? Well, as a blessed white male with no possible disadvantages in life** I am going to let everyone in on a little secret.
Life is fucking hard. All the time. It never gets easier. There is no point at which you have "succeeded" and can relax. It is hard for rich people and poor people and beautiful people and ugly people and smart people and stupid people. Always. No matter what.
Nothing the government has or ever will do can change that. I know, sucks. Tough shit.
* - I'm not saying that these disadvantages do not exist or that they don't have significant effects on the ability of these groups to prosper. I am merely saying that these disadvantages (particularly in modern America) pale in comparison to the default background difficulty level of life itself.
** - I could get into the specific and rather damaging disadvantages I was born with but nobody wants to hear about MP in that much detail. Let's just say I had to overcome some chemical imbalances over time that set me back about a decade. No big whoop. I look at it as a learning experience.
Update: I like the term Etcism. I'm claiming it. If you use it you have to say, "Coined by the Illustrious Moron Pundit of DPUD" after each use. It is decreed!
"I'm sorry, sir. We have run out of donkey testicles. Can I offer you some deer testicles instead?"Uh, no thanks. I've been craving donkey 'nads all day, and there's really just no substitute for that flavor...
December 30, 2008
But this one puzzled me...In: Inauguration fever, Out: Inauguration beaver. WTF?
Oh, and while I like lolcats as much as the next person, bacon cheeseburgers are never Out. Ever.
For those of you not as deeply steeped in Discovery Channel disaster shows as I, let me sum up. Yellowstone is actually the mouth of a giant volcano that tends to go BOOOOOOM every 600,000 years or so and, pretty much, kill all life on Earth. The last explosion? Ohhh, about 625,000 years or so. Booooooooom.
While I really don't want to live through the ensuing Zombie Apocalypse when Yellowstone does blow (where would I find heels), I will say there's a part of me that loves this. Not just for the death and destruction but for pointing out that human beings are wee little ants who can do nothing compared to the power of Gaia.
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