December 30, 2008

Stupid hippies

Looking to ward off hippies from settling in your town? It may be as easy as setting up a municipal wi-fi network:

HIPPIES LIVING in the tiny town of Glastonbury claim that a new wi-fi network is responsible for a spate of health problems.

Glastonbury, which used to be a mecca for Christian pilgrims looking for King Arthur, has now been largely taken over by New Age hippies who think that it is a place of great healing energies.

That was, until the town set up a £34,000 project wi-fi network on an experimental basis. Apparently wi-fi jiggers about with your chakras and breaks ley lines, which makes you sick.

To counter the bad karma they have surrounded the masts with orgone generators to clean the energy up, but despite claims that the generators can fix the bad energy of a nuclear powerplant they seem to be unable to deal with the terrors of wi-fi.

Perhaps a drum circle would be more effective.  Or, I know, the power of love.  Like, yeah, maaaaaaaaaaaaan.


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Cynthia McKinney trying to smuggle supplies to Gaza

Former security-guard-assaulting US Representative, Green Party Presidential Candidate, truther and all-around crazy woman Cynthia McKinney was on a boat attempting to smuggle medical supplies to Gaza.

The yacht, owned by the U.S.-based Free Gaza Movement, was reportedly carrying 3.5 tons of medical supplies donated by Cyprus. A press release from the group claimed "several Israeli gunboats intercepted the Dignity she was heading on a mission of mercy to Gaza." They said the Israeli military fired machine guns into the water in an attempt to stop the Dignity's progress.

The boat, registered under the flag of Gibraltar and with an English captain, reportedly took on water and experienced engine problems, according to the group's Web site. It also said the incident occurred 90 miles offshore in international water. The boat's captain was given permission to dock in Lebanon, where it was regrouping to try again.
Am I an awful person for wishing the boat had sunk? I really hate to think of this woman representing our country in any way.  I normally consider humanitarian aid to be something outside of military action, but in this case the aid is contributing to continuing violence in the Middle East. 

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Unconfirmed football news

Local radio station 710 KNUS is reporting an unconfirmed rumor that Denver Broncos coach Mike Shanahan has been fired.  No one in our house is sorry, as no one in our house is a Broncos fan.

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Blago appoints some poor schmuck to the seat no one wants to touch

Our favorite toupee stand has nominated former Illinois AG Roland Burris to the Senate seat President-Elect Obama vacated.  I thought about liveblogging it, but I was too busy yelling at the television to put together much in the way of coherent thought.  Burris was a deer in headlights, obviously unprepared to answer any questions about whether the donations he and his law firm made to Friends of Blagojevich ($14,000, if the reporter hollering questions is to be believed) had any influence on his nomination.

Burris's appointment was followed by an endorsement from Illinois Representative Bobby Rush, a former Black Panther who made it clear that the primary reason to NOT reject Burris as a Senator was because the only African-American in the Senate should be replaced by an African-American.  He made a statement to the effect that the Secretary of State should worry about how the people of Illinois would react if he did not certify Burris (which happened almost immediately, God Bless Jesse White for standing by his word and not certifying Burris based on their shared race).

So I'm wondering...Is the general opinion here that Burris is...:

  1. not politically savvy enough to realize this just made him radioactive?
  2. thinking he's bulletproof enough based on his record to withstand any charges of corruption (donations to and fundraisers for Blago be damned)?
  3. thinking that if he doesn't get accepted into Congress, either by Congressional rejection or the SoS refusing to certify him, he can turn this into a race brouhaha and get in anyway, and then should have an easy time getting reelected?
I honestly can't figure out what's going on in this guy's noggin.  By 'this guy', I mean Burris, I think we know Blagojevich is crazy. 

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a faint light shining in the dark

According to this article in the International Herald Tribune, the Dutch Labor Party is calling for an end to the multicultural view of tolerance.  Labor in the Netherlands is fairly Left so this is a pretty big deal.  Of course, I'll believe it more when Ayaan Hirsi Ali can return home, but at least it's a start.

The most interesting line in the article to me is this from Lilianne Ploumen, the spokeswoman for Labor.  "For Ploumen, talking to the local media, "The street is mine, too. I don't want to walk away if they're standing in my path."

I've been hoping that women, in particular, will get sick of being told that they have to tolerate and understand the misogynistic idiots who thrown up religion as some type of excuse for their actions.  It seems like it may be starting.

Do I believe this will go anywhere?  I hate to say it, but history is on the side of no.  But at least it's a start.  I will admit that I share Mark Steyn's opinion that there's an upcoming clash of civilizations in Europe and that most European countries will revert to form to deal with it.  But it would be nice if that weren't the case.

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Blue Man Group Is Hot For Teacher

 Look, buddy. I don't care what you do, or with whom you do it. But you should have enough money to get a room.

Darren Stephens, 45, of the 1400 block of West Leland Avenue and Michael Pressler, 48, of the 1700 block of North Halsted Street were arrested without incident about 5:45 p.m. in the 4500 block of North Simonds Drive, police said.

Pressler, who is the Asst. Principal at Maine East High School in northwest suburban Park Ridge, and Stephens, who is a performer with the Blue Man Group, were both charged with public indecency, a misdemeanor, after they were found allegedly engaged in a sex act on Chicago Park District property, police said.

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When An Utter Failure Mocks You, Should You Ignore It, Get Angry, Be Embarassed, Or Fight Back?

Well, MSNBC's token non-moonbat Joe Scarborough decided to take on Zbigniew Brzezinski and his insults this morning.

JOE SCARBOROUGH: You can't blame what is happening in Israel right now on the Bush administration.


SCARBOROUGH: You can't.  Let's go back to 2000, Dr. Brzezinski. Bill Clinton gave Arafat and the Palestinians everything they could have wanted.

BRZEZINSKI:  You know, you have such a stunningly superficial knowledge of what went on that it's almost embarrassing to listen to you.

SCARBOROUGH:  Oh, is it?

And later....

SCARBOROUGH: We have another bloc, and I'm very excited aboug that because I'm stunningly superficial.  Chief, I look forward to you educating me, and the rest of America, and the rest of the foreign policy community, who have said, time and again, Arafat walked away from the best deal he could have gotten, and that the Palestinians never miss an opportunity to --

BRZEZINSKI: These are not the facts. [They're] your opinions; you're repeating slogans.  He did not walk away.  What he said was, I'm going to take the proposal to all the Arab capitals and see how they react, because the proposals were controversial . .  . The negotiations went on, even after Christmas, where Clinton and Arafat met, and they were going on in Taba in January, after Clinton was already leaving office. And then, the process got aborted. It's helpful to know a little bit about it.

Nuance, thy name is Jimmah Carter's Crew. Thank GAIA these clowns are back in charge.

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One Way To Fight Media Distortion

Just start your own YouTube channel.

"The blogosphere and new media are another war zone," said IDF Foreign Press Branch head Maj. Avital Leibovich. "We have to be relevant there."

Her sentiment reflects a growing awareness in the Israeli government that part of the failure of the 2006 Second Lebanon War was Israel's lack of readiness for the intense media debate surrounding its operations.

Since the beginning of the Gaza air strikes, Israeli politicians have been appearing regularly on the largest international news networks to defend the IDF. Leibovich's YouTube initiative is another piece of the new media offensive.

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Leave It To The Scandis To Take The Fun Out Of Drunk Skiing

Sheesh. They are renting a drunk tank to hold all of them. To me, that implies the drunk skiing problem is a big deal in Scandiland.

Police plan to rent the container from a car club in nearby Höljes. The club uses the container in the summers for housing inebriated rally cross enthusiasts during the European championship week.

The container will be located in a fenced-off area at a garage owned by the National Road Administration (Vägverket) just five kilometres from the ski hill, enabling police to take a tougher line with unruly skiers.

"We are going to increase our presence in Branäs and will lower the threshold for an arrest. We are probably the first in Sweden to do this," said Peter Åkerström at Värmland's police to VF.

Currently the closest cell available for the detainment of tipsy tourists is in Karlstad, a two and a half hour round trip which uses up limited police resources.

"Branäs is located a bit out of the way. People go there to party and have fun. It is probably not quite as fun to wake up in a detention container," warned Åkerström.

Accommodation in the small red container is not however devoid of creature comforts for sobering skiers and is equipped with ventilation, a simple drainage system and a hole in the middle of the floor where overnight inmates will be able to perform their ablutions.

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A Bitter Clinger Really Wanted His Extra Syrup In The Dispenser Today!

And this is what happens when he doesn't get his way.

A man became disorderly at the Hess Express on Jonestown Road in Lower Paxton Twp. today after he complained that there wasn't any syrup in the Diet Pepsi dispenser, police said.

About 12:15 p.m., a customer went to the store's clerk and loudly complained of the lack of syrup. He also insisted his lottery ticket was worth a dollar when it was actually for a free drink, police said.

The man was ordered out of the store but proceeded to back his car into the clerk, who tried to take a camera phone picture of his license plate, police said. The clerk was not injured.


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December 29, 2008

Hollywood cares

Today's Los Angeles Times had a list of the top ten "moments in 2008 celebrity activism," which—of course—was heavy on various entertainment-industry figures' support for Obama.  But the following, which was (perhaps fittingly) at the bottom of the list, caught my eye:

Hollywood is a global business and no international cause moves quite so many stars quite so deeply as the ongoing genocide and dislocation of the people in Darfur. The cool guys from "Ocean's 11-13" were convinced by costars and friends Don Cheadle and Clooney to make the cause of Darfur their own. With that crew on your side, it's hard to go wrong, but as more of the industry educated itself about the situation in western Sudan, it became the international crisis closest to the film industry's heart. Fundraising for relief continues, and a surprising number of stars have taken the extra step of intervening whenever possible with the governments and international organizations involved. Hollywood's a town with a notoriously short memory, but don't look for Darfur to slip off the radar any time soon.
And don't look for their efforts to actually, you know, accomplish anything any time soon, either.

Because, seriously, "The cool guys" from those movies and their celebrity pals haven't managed to get jack shit done so far, no matter how much "the industry educated itself" about what's going on there.  And I'm sure that while Don Cheadle and George Clooney have good intentions, countries like China that are doing business with the Sudanese government couldn't give a shit when they take "the extra step of intervening" when they're not otherwise occupied making movies and banging starlets.

And besides, unless I've missed something, have there been any movies about the situation in Darfur?  There sure have been plenty of anti-Iraq war movies, but I don't think Hollywood has made a single dramatic film to help educate the public about this, their most serious cause.

(Aside from getting Obama elected, that is.)

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Anybody Wantg To Head To DC For Some Hobo Hunting?

It appears as though efforts to keep the hobo population from multiplying in the DC Libraries are leading to golden opportunities for some enterprising folks.

New rules have been proposed for D.C. public libraries, including a ban on sleeping and a limit on bringing in bags, in what library officials called an effort to make the system more welcoming.

But Mary Ann Luby, an advocate for the homeless, said the bag and sleeping rules "are going to be hard on people."

Maybe, but thanks to this work, ample targets for hobo hunters will soon appear to help rectify this issue. 

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Yet Another Example Of Liberal Policies Making Things Worse

Seattle intentionally didn't salt the roads in order to appease Mother Gaia (I think Ace may have also mentioned this, but I'm not sure). Well, what's happened? Monster trash buildups usually indicative of a trash collector's strike.

But piles and piles of trash linger on curbsides across parts of Seattle where garbage trucks haven't been able to reach for more than two weeks.

The good news is that some collection resumed over the weekend, although the garbage glut continues in many areas.

"Our garbage area is stinkier," Beacon Hill resident Lucia Kahsai, 24, said Sunday, referring to the area in her townhouse where she stores her trash. "We've given up taking our garbage outside."

"I mean, it is looking like civic hell out there," joked Tim Tapping, 59, a software engineer in Maple Leaf who pointed to the lids on his streetside cans, which were floating on top of overflowing refuse.

Icy roads Saturday still prevented many 9-ton garbage trucks from entering some Seattle neighborhoods in the higher elevations, such as those in West Seattle and Maple Leaf, as well as areas in Shoreline, Renton, SeaTac, Burien, Bellevue, Sammamish and Snohomish County, officials said.

"A lot of people have missed service over the last couple of weeks," Seattle Public Utilities spokesman Andy Ryan said.

"It will take us time to get back to a normal schedule."

Some service resumed Saturday and Sunday. Garbage trucks hauled away trash Sunday in Lake City, Northgate and other parts of Northeast Seattle and in South Seattle.

But other areas were still waiting.

In the Maple Leaf neighborhood near Northgate, residents said they were told their garbage would be picked up this weekend.

But with roads still icy Saturday, no garbage trucks were seen in the area, residents said.

Maple Leaf residents who were particularly unlucky were those such as Tapping on the north side of Northeast 90th Street. People north of that line get garbage pickup on Thursdays. Those south of the line are on Tuesdays.

In a way, the photo is an appropriate metaphor for what liberal policies create.

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Tom Harkin bails out Agriprocessors

You remember Agriprocessors, right?  This was the plant that was employing hundreds of illegals, got raided, and is facing a few thousand counts of violating child labor laws?  Yeah, Tom Harkin got them a new sewage system, paid for by you, the taxpayer. 

Ah, here we go, some of Agriprocessors other shady dealings. Took me a while to find this.

Update:  Here's another article on the child labor many charges?  Well,

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Somehow, I Wonder If Sarah Palin Will Be Blamed For This As Well

This dude learns first hand that polar bears play a rough game of tag.

The man eventually managed to take refuge in a neighbouring truck which was unlocked.

His back and head were covered in more than 100 deep scratches where the massive claws had managed to rip through his thick winter clothes and padded coat.

Barrow is the northernmost town of the United States, 340 miles north of the Arctic Circle.

Polar bears are frequently spotted around the area.

They are the world's largest land predator, and are the only animals that actively hunt humans.
Adult bears grow up to 10ft tall and can weigh 95 stone.

They are predominantly carnivores, eating seals, fish, reindeer, seabirds and even whales and baby walruses.

Environmentalists have warned that there could be as few as 22,000 left in the wild, and that they face extinction because the ice they live on is melting.

The wildlife group Polar Bears International says only one person has been killed by a polar bear in the U.S. in the past 30 years.

In Canada eight have been killed and in Russia, 19.

A spokesman said: 'In all instances in which a human was killed by a polar bear, the animal in question was undernourished or had been provoked.'

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Fishing Is Relaxing And Fun

That is, unless this happens to you.

According to Coral Springs police spokesman Sgt. Joe McHugh, the father and son were fishing in a canal behind 190 NW 113th Way around 9:30 Friday morning when they spotted what they thought was a coconut or a turtle on the bottom of the canal.

They fished the mystery item from the bottom of the canal using a pool net and noticed it appeared to have two eye sockets. They immediately called the police to report the discovery.

Sgt. McHugh says the police department recovered several bones located in this culvert back in July 2001 but it's too early to determine if the two cases are related.


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Moron of the Day: Alcohol makes you British

Apparently if you have enough to drink, you forget what side of the road to drive on:

A 35-year old Syracuse woman is charged with drunk driving after she hit a parked police car head on Saturday night.

Here, I drew a picture to explain.  I'd write about it but a recent argument with a liberal stole my ability to speak.

Soon, the much anticipated Moron of the Year competition.

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And your point is?

I have no idea how to begin describing the idiocy on display in this column from some Missouri newspaper, in which the writer is apparently trying to make some connection between increased gun sales since Obama's election triumph and the need for more Federal funding for education...

The thing I am hopeful about is that education will take front and center in the new administration because it is frightening when you pair the rising gun sales with the downward trend of the literacy rate. Just the idea that so many individuals are prepared to act on unsubstantiated rumors is disturbing.

And I think it is important for people to realize that according to the economists, the hard times are going to be around for several years, and as people become more challenged in their efforts to make a living, access to more guns is not something that I think will help people out. After all, everyone is an innocent gun owner until he or she commits the first crime.

Riiiiiiiight. Because we all know that when the economy sours, law-abiding (but possibly—nay, probably—illiterate) gun owners are likely to take to the streets in droves to rob and murder people. I'm pretty sure that's how Bonnie and Clyde got started.

It seems to me that the only crime on display here is that someone actually may have been paid to write this crap. I'd tell you to read the whole thing, but I wouldn't want you to lose a few IQ points. I mean, it also includes the following paragraph:
I have no problem with people bearing arms. It does annoy me when I hear people saying that they carry arms to protect themselves. I always wonder if they really know the difference between what can legally be determined self-defense and what is homicide. They seem to feel that it will somehow be left to them to make that call rather than law enforcement.
Yeah. When someone is breaking into your home or threatens to knife you on the street at night, perhaps you can stall them by having a debate about the difference between homicide and self-defense until the authorities arrive on the scene.  Good luck with that.

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Domestic Bliss!

With this lady as a prime example.

The woman replied by saying "tase me in the face," according to the incident report.

The woman was restrained by her husband while the deputy was able to draw a pair of handcuffs and place them on the struggling woman.  

The altercation started with the couple's 25-year-old son recklessly driving an ATV on Evergreen St., officers said. The deputy went to the driver's home and during the investigation the woman arrived and started yelling at the deputy and tried to drive him off their property.

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December 28, 2008

I'm Alive

We'll let the Morons decide where I've been.

Where the fuck has Moron Pundit been?
Trudging through five foot snow drifts looking for Al Gore.
Three week game of Presidents and Assholes. (He "lost".)
Was named CEO of Val-U-Rite's Vodka Product Testing division.
Trying in vain to justify picking someone other than himself for Moron of the Day.
Working, moving and being productive. free polls

*Technical difficulties. Hold your horses.

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