June 30, 2009

Obama thinks you're too stupid to read a contract

Obama wants a new regulatory agency to "police" the fine print that is contained in credit cards, loans and mortgages because they're too complicated

"Those ridiculous contracts with pages of fine print that no one can figure out—those things will be a thing of the past," the president said in a statement accompanying the 152-page draft bill. "And enforcement will be the rule, not the exception."

Well, there's a reason there is a stack of papers you're handed every time you go through getting a credit card, loan or mortgage, one, that's a shit-ton of money you're dealing with, this isn't spotting your friend a five to cover the rest of his tab.  In the case of a mortgage, we're talking anywhere from $30K (I dunno, what are trailer lots going for?) to a million and more.  Hint, genius:  It isn't supposed to be simple.

Two, most of those clauses are probably there because some lawyer sued someone into oblivion because it wasn't there before.  If you're that overwhelmed by the legal mumbo jumbo in a contract, you should be probably be hiring a lawyer, accountant or a consultant or credit counselor to guide you through the process so you don't end up losing everything.

Of course these are the same people who shriek loud enough to shatter plate glass upon hearing someone recommend simplification of the tax code.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:40 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Funny, that.

Have you ever noticed how there's never any in-fighting in the Democratic Party?

Kinda odd, doncha think?

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 10:03 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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"The World's Greatest Deliberative Body"

Yeah. I can say no more.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:47 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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An excellent topic worthy of our discussion

In the comments below, Veeshir raised an excellent question which I do believe deserves a separate post to answer.

OT, but I've been needing to ask alexthechick a question.

First, I would like to say that Megan Kelly and Shepard Smith are almost exactly the same. Except Megan, of course, has bigger balls.

They're both advocacy journalists (Shep is obviously trying to be Geraldo, Jr while Megan is more like Glenn Beck), which one is better looking?

A truly excellent question indeed. Let us examine the evidence.  First, Shep:

Great eyes, looks fab in a suit, has that "I'm a naughty boy" grin.  Alllllll good.  And then he opens his mouth, proves he's an utter loon and makes me want to smack him in the face with my 3 wood.  -10,000 attractiveness points.

Then there Megyn:

Intelligent, articulate, excellent sense of humor, nice personal style . . . . Yeah, yeah, like any of y'all are reading the words at the moment.

She's stunning and smart and makes idiots near to cry while interviewing them.  +10,000 attractiveness points.

The winner, in a landslide, Megyn.

Now, if you want me to choose between Megyn and Brit Hume, well, that's a different story.  Oh Brit.  Oh your snark.  Oh your archness.  Oh how you made Juan Williams look like an idiot.  I LOVE YOU BRIT PLEASE COME BACK!  Ahem.  What was the question? 


Posted by: alexthechick at 06:13 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I was just on Real Word: DC

The roommates arrived today, and they were walking past my office just as I was leaving work.  Definitely had a camera pointed at me. 


Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 05:11 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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How About A Nice Tall Glass Of Shut The Fuck Up?

Yes, Mark Tapscott, I'm talking to you.

Sorry, folks, but, as much as I agree this bill is a disaster for America, calling these eight RINOs "traitors" is beyond the line. Here's why: The word "traitor" has specific reference to national loyalty. Benedict Arnold was a traitor, as were spies like John Walker, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, and Aldrich Hazen Ames. The traditional penalty for treason is death, though in recent decades that sentence has been all but forgotten in the U.S., though not in other nations.

When somebody promises you they will take a certain course of action not involving national loyalty, but then does another, they are a rat, a double-crosser, or a jerk, but they are not a traitor because national security is not jeopardized by their failure to do what they promised to do. The Obama-Waxman-Markey bill will certainly burden the U.S. economy, but it won't destroy it. Thus, referring to the eight GOP members who voted for the bill is unjustified.

But isn't "cap and traitor" simply an acceptable rhetorical device whereas "General Betrayus" is self-evidently character assassination? "Rules for Radicals" author Saul Alinsky, President Obama's inspiration, would see both terms as illustrations of his principle of isolating opponents, discrediting them and making them objects of disgust, hatred and villification.

First of all, Mr. Pack A Day Smoker Of Cock*, you make the false comparison between when Code Pink and KOS used the "General Betrayus" ads and our attacks on the eight RINOs who helped push Cap & Trade over the finish line. Only problem? Code Pink has never been on the side of the military and the Generals they attacked, while we are lashing out at people who ostensibly should be on our side. We are just trying to keep our side in check, while Code Pink's sole intent was to heckle and humiliate a proud warrior.

Secondly, we have not taken out full page ads in newspapers before the vote even took place attacking wavering RINOs like the shitfucks on the left did before Petraeus even spoke before Congress. We lobbied our representatives. We called and emailed them. They ignored us, so fuck them and anybody who defends them.

Thirdly, Dudley Dipshit, who cares if we are discrediting our ELECTED FUCKING REPRESENTATIVES who we send to Congress to do what we ask them to do, and FUCKING HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR FUCKING VOTES? THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF A REPRESENTATIVE REPUBLIC! We lobbied our representatives. We called and emailed them. They ignored us, so fuck them and anybody who defends them. And we can do WHAT THE FUCK WE WANT TO THEM BY VIRTUE OF OUR VOTES AND DONATIONS. WE HAVE THE POWER OVER THEM, NOT THEM OVER US. Maybe they, and you, need a wake up call.

Finally, fuck you, you arrogant, elitist, BELTWAY, COCKTAIL PARTY ASSFISH. That's why. We deserve the right to express our views however we wish, and if you don't like it, I think you know what I think of your options over this matter.

Thank you, and have a pleasant evening.

*I read that insult elsewhere. I like it, but cannot claim ownership.

Posted by: eddiebear at 04:52 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Palin Poses for Photos

How many of you feel like taking up running now?

Posted by: conservativebelle at 04:07 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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This is what sound looks like

Via Gizmodo.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:53 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Denver Public Schools, district of excellence

If there was any doubt in your mind that teachers have an agenda, let this school put it to rest.

Of the 10 new schools, nine are charters. The tenth, the Denver Green School, was created by Denver Public Schools teachers and principals and will use the environment and sustainability as its overall theme.
I'd like to take a moment to remind you of Denver Public Schools' stellar performance in meeting and exceeding our students' needs regarding the basic skills to make a living, attend college, and be accomplished enough to make something of themselves other than a welfare mom or street junkie.

In other words...

Are you fucking kidding me?! Denver Public Schools can't manage to educate its students in actual, necessary, required subjects, yet it wants to create a school where the emphasis is going to be on something that is only a necessary job skill if you're planning on running a community garden or sponsoring a commune. At best, we can hope that DPS continues its tradition of excellence in education and turns each and every student into a leave-every-light-on, gas-guzzling-SUV-driving, dump-your-motor-oil-into-the-drainage-ditch-on-the-way-to-your-job-managing-a-smog-belching-factory Republican.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:00 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Oh it's been broughten

I'm sure all y'all saw this over at Head Moron's but I would like to add my own demure commentary thereto. 

Comments made by the California Speaker of the House, Karen Bass

Q: How do you think conservative talk radio has affected the Legislature's work?

A: The Republicans were essentially threatened and terrorized against voting for revenue. Now [some] are facing recalls. They operate under a terrorist threat: "You vote for revenue and your career is over." I don't know why we allow that kind of terrorism to exist. I guess it's about free speech, but it's extremely unfair.

Ms. Bass, I believe you are missing one minor, tiny, barely worth mentioning point.  You.  Work.  For.  The.  Citizens.  Of.  California.  Not the other way around.  There is nothing terroristic for a boss to tell an employee "Shape up or you're out of here".  You guess it's about free speech?  You GUESS?  I would humbly suggest, Ms. Bass, that you might want to take a refresher course in basic civics. 

Epic profanity below the fold - if we weren't banned by Net Nanny before, we sure would be now.


Posted by: alexthechick at 12:05 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Only now do conservatives notice Mark Kirk?

Everyone is piling on to Rep. Mark Kirk for his vote on Crap&Trade, which they should be (I'm amused by the fact that after he votes for a bill that is going to destroy the economy, he sets up a job fair).  We should work to make sure he loses the next time he's up for election, and I don't care if that's finding a decent Republican, or making it politically impossible for the RNC to boost him and ceding the seat to a Democrat.

All that said, I'm sorry, but people should have known what this guy was long before Crap&Trade went down, and shouldn't be surprised by his betrayal.  He's a RINO's RINO (frankly, I think the guy is fascist, or fascist-leaning, certainly statist), it has been long known that the guy drank the global warming Kool-Aid. 

To my knowledge, he's also the ONLY GOPer in Congress to be both endorsed by the ghouls in the Brady Campaign and Planned Parenthood.  Anyone with that much disregard for the right to self-defense and life should be held suspect from day one, I don't know how he flew under so many conservative radars for so damn long.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:27 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Remember, even a blind squirrel can sometimes find a nut

So it seems that Ron Paul is putting out a bill that will effectively audit the Fed.

Siiiiiiigh. Credit where credit is due, that's a good idea.

For some strange reason, however, whenever I think about Ron Paul this comes to mind:

Posted by: alexthechick at 10:15 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Did You Miss Me, Moronosphere?

I know you did.  Sorry, but the MP had to hit the road and share his charm and good looks with America at large for a few weeks.

Don't worry, I'll have a treat for you later wherein I explain why I'm not a Libertarian.  And yes, it is longer than just, "those fuckers are crazy."  That would suffice, but I figure I'll give you a little more to chew on.

Two more things:

1)  When Farrah Fawcett died, she went to heaven and God told her she could have one wish.  She wished for all the children to be safe.  Michael Jackson died moments later.*

2) Does Woody Allen's wife have to buy him a Father's Day Card?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:57 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Photo op

I guess Obama was busy thinking up new ways to tank our economy on Monday. Otherwise, he totally would have been in on this action.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:39 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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June 29, 2009

Dueling Craziness Monday!

In One corner: former Phillies Catcher Darren Daulton has done a lot of drugs, and speaks to lizards.

“I started experiencing these different realms, these different planes of existence … I know exactly what I’m capable of doing. … People talk about speaking with lizards and stuff. You can communicate with anyone, with nature, that’s all that happened there. To me, that’s not a big deal now. I like to astal travel, teleport, travel through time … December 21, 2012, by the way, that’s the number. As seven billion people, the world will rise to another level of consciousness. I don’t have all the answers.”

Yeah, that's some good stuff right there. But can it top these people, who think the moon is gay?
I think we should send some morons into space to land on the moon and plant bombs to blow it up. The moon is gay.

Where's Frank J when you need him?

You make the call!

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:52 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I wouldn't hold your breath

You've already got the rainbows, but something tells me you're going to be waiting on the unicorns for quite a while...

President Barack Obama, under fire from the gay-rights community over slow action on its priorities, promised to deliver by the time he leaves office.
Well, that's some kind of timetable, huh? Is that contingent on whether or not he wins in 2012? Only Barack knows for sure. I seem to remember a phrase that some wingnut came up with about Obama's promises and expiration dates, though...
The president gave no new details about how he would advance these issues, but he made passionate remarks saluting the pioneers of the gay-rights movement and expressed solidarity with those working for equal rights.
No new details, huh? But, yeah, you can trust him. For reals.
"Welcome to your White House," the president said at a reception Monday to mark the 40th anniversary of the birth of the modern gay-rights movement. His remarks were greeted warmly by a cheering crowd of some 250 gay and lesbian activists and supporters.
Yeah. I hope you'll remember those cheers when I post this video again.
"It's not for me to tell you to be patient," he said, comparing the gay activists' struggle to that of African-Americans in the civil rights movement. "I expect and hope to be judged not by words...but by the promises that my administration keeps."

He added that by the time his presidency is over, "I think you guys will have pretty good feelings about the Obama administration."

He thinks so. Well, isn't that reassuring?

Look, I'm not expecting the GOP to pick up a large portion of the gay vote anytime in the near future, but how long do the Democrats figure they can keep pandering to minority voting blocs like this without delivering on their promises?

Oh. Nevermind.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:51 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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This Story Has Something For Everyone

Well, as long as by "everyone", we mean Rosetta and Alex.

The Boulder Police Department is looking for a cross-dressing man wearing clown makeup who robbed a liquor store on Saturday night.Boulder police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said officers received a call from the Boulder Beer Emporium, on the 4700 block of Table Mesa Drive, just before midnight. The caller said that the store was robbed.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:13 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I love Sullivan's Island, SC

I used to vacation close to there in high school and it was always incredibly relaxing.  Now, as Jenny Sanford and her boys seek refuge there, the citizens are making me happy.  Fun with media, indeed:

Here on Sullivan's Island, neighbors were reluctant to talk about what they called "the events" and said they have an abiding faith that the Sanfords will work it out -- privately.

Inside an art gallery, the owner was skittish of saying anything about the Sanfords, good or bad. "This is a very private community, and this is a personal family issue," Julie Sweat said as she readied her shop for an art show.

Next door at the Green Heron, a small grocery store on the main drag, a sign read "EVACUATE, MEDIA SCUM."

What a bunch of rubes!  Don't they know they're talking to Their Betters?

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Being coherent was never Meghan McCain's strong suit

She said the GOP needs to be more open to sex.  Then, Gov. Mark Sanford takes her advice and fraternizes with a Wise Latina WomanTM, and she acts all sad for the Republican Party

What gives, MegMeg?

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 06:56 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Mourning a True Visionary

Many times it's said that the true measure of a man cannot be taken until he has passed from this mortal coil, when we in solemn reflection can look back upon his life and take full account of his actions and deeds.
Thus it is right and fitting that we have become transfixed by reflections upon the life of one Michael Jackson with a focus befitting the death of Ronald Reagan and Princess Diana at the hands of OJ Simpson.  Such an event is so rare, and so important, that I think we have dealt with it too penuriously due to our fleeting cultural attention span and not placed this genius at the true level of the pantheon which he deserves, beside such worthies as Thomas Jefferson and Ron Popeil.
For largely unspoken in this celebration is the greatest gift that Mr. Jackson gave to the world, far more long-lasting than his vicissitudes in fashion or the all-too-quickly anachronistic music for which he is better known.
I speak, of course, of his singular vision of dancing zombies.
We have oft discussed in our electronic agora the eternal philosophical question regarding fast and slow zombies.  But too many among us have gazed upon the shambling forms of the undead and forgotten that, for a brief time, thanks to this visionary they neither ambled nor sprinted, but rather floated as if Fred Astaire himself had risen from the tomb to feast upon the brain of Ginger Allen.
This, dear friends, was the true gift to us from Michael Jackson. 
Thriller did not only mark the beginning of Mr. Jackson's otherworldly career, strange gyrations in skin pigment, and  the unfortunate foistation of his wretched sister LaToya upon the public eye (lamentably underdressed, no less).
Rather it also marked the moment when zombies, freed from the cultural bias instilled upon them since the dawn of time, suddenly became unmoored from being shambling cannon fodder in the ranks of the undead and catapulted them to a super-stardom that sexy werewolves and homoerotic vampires can only dream of.
We will never know if the zombie-only dancing studios he so strenuously advocated would have made a difference in the coming zombie uprising, nor will we know if his plans for a chain of zombie night clubs would have helped foster peace between the brain-possessing and the brain-obsessing.
But we do know that a champion of zombie rights, who saw them not as something simply to be shot in the head but rather creatures with charm and grace, has passed from this mortal coil to the next.
And that he will be sorely missed.

Posted by: plebian at 02:26 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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