November 30, 2008
I got nuthin'
Posted by: Sean M. at
06:03 PM
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Posted by: alexthechick at November 30, 2008 06:07 PM (59MV4)
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Thanks for reminding me that Rob Schneider exists. Bastard.
I IMDB'd the idiot after watching this and he's got four freaking movies in some stage of production. How is that possible? Who (other than Sandler, for stupid bit parts) would hire this douche?
Posted by: Hermit Dave at November 30, 2008 06:16 PM (WhFvm)
Posted by: doubleplusundead at November 30, 2008 08:20 PM (D2cBI)
Posted by: Sean M. at November 30, 2008 09:39 PM (rLWHv)
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The intarwebs appears to have died, can't find a story anywhere.
Posted by: doubleplusundead at December 01, 2008 01:01 AM (D2cBI)
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The times has come to talk of many things
Of shoes - these shoes in particular

Now. Objectively, these are horrific. And only $1,800! But there's part of me that loves them in all of their Cher-tastic glory. I mean, can't you just see Cher, during her Sonny and Cher Show days, wearing these and a Pocohontas outfit. In fact, I think she did wear an outfit like that. But yes, these may be ugly as all hell but they do speak to my inner diva.
Posted by: alexthechick at
03:16 PM
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Hey Doom And Gloomers! How Did Those Black Friday Numbers Fare?
Up from last year.But, leave it to The Deciders to put a negative spin on the numbers:
But the sales boost during the post-Thanksgiving shopathon came at the
expense of profits as the nation's retailers had to slash prices to
attract the crowds in a season that is expected to be the weakest in
decades.
Of course, come November, 2009, we will hear nothing but trumpets and fanfare.
Posted by: eddiebear at
12:38 PM
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But the sales boost during the post-Thanksgiving shopathon came at the expense of profits as the nation's retailers had to slash prices to attract the crowds in a season that is expected to be the weakest in decades.
They've been running the same exact story since Bush took office! Every year it's 'sales are up, but profits are horrific because of deep discounting and we're all d00med!!'
I wonder if they ever actually read what they write, year-on-year, and wonder if maybe, just maybe, they tire of being wrong (and/or flat-out lying) over and over and over again.
Posted by: ECM at November 30, 2008 12:46 PM (q3V+C)
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I'm gonna wait for Allahpundit to tell us why this is actually horrible news.
Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at November 30, 2008 12:52 PM (tN8Y/)
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ECM;
Naw. They are reflexive.
If profits are up, then volume is down, and we're screwed. If the obverse happens, we're screwed. But Obama will fix all of that.
Kinda like the WalMart meme:
If Walmart is up, it's bad because people are so rapesed by teh evil baby rapesers that they can only shop there, and we're all doomed. If Walmart is down, the economy is in the shitter because people can't afford to shop anywhere and are just eating from trash cans.
Posted by: eddiebear at November 30, 2008 12:53 PM (BnrT9)
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Vinty:
Heh.
Allah won't write about it, instead waiting to put a one word defeatist witticism under a picture of a store, and then just linking to an article Malkin wrote about it.
Or, are we supposed to lay off of Allah, since his 2003/4 Photoshops were Teh Awesume!!!11!!!
Posted by: eddiebear at November 30, 2008 12:55 PM (BnrT9)
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I'll lay off Allah when he stops being such a bitch about religion.
Posted by: alexthechick at November 30, 2008 03:18 PM (59MV4)
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For thinking people, the effect of Black Friday is seen as mostly neutral. It tends to simply move the time-frame on spending, rather than have much impact on total spending.
A better predictor for the holiday season is general trends in spending, and those are down. This isn't doom, it's just common sense.
Mindless economic boosterism (think Kudlow) is just as bad as mindless eyorism (think most everyone else in the MSM).
Posted by: Hermit Dave at November 30, 2008 06:26 PM (WhFvm)
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I suppose this is a good thing
The intent of the
Mumbai attacks was to kill 5000.
One of the
reports said that there was quite a bit of ammunition left over, and the police were surprised at how technologically savvy the terrorists were with their satellite phones and bombing techniques. I guess the Indian police haven't heard of that thar Intarweb.
Posted by: Alice H at
12:36 PM
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Hope! Change! Extra-Terrestrial Truth!
Looks as though the real truth will be revealed come 1-20-09.PRG
(Paradigm Research Group. Some sort of goofball group.) is well aware of your intention to launch a high technology “New Deal”
code named “New Apollo Project” to restore America’s economy. This
massive program to subsidize green technology development, create jobs,
expand the manufacturing base and reverse the trade imbalance will be
likely accompanied by legislation prohibiting overseas hiring and
offshore manufacturing.
All
well and good, but it will not be enough. The challenges are too
great and the response to these challenges too long delayed. It is
essential the paradigm breaking technologies hidden in unacknowledged
special access programs and sequestered behind the extraterrestrial
truth embargo be included.
If
you are in need of counsel to assist you in these matters, you have but
to turn to your transition co-chair, John Podesta. His efforts to
end the truth embargo and release all relevant government documents
date back to at least 1993 and the Rockefeller Initiative. PRG
believes he is fully aware of the extraterrestrial presence and is
committed to creating more open, transparent governance. In this he
is in sync with the chief financial backer of his Center for American
Progress think tank, George Soros.
Reach
out to your party’s allies within the military services and
intelligence agencies. When you take office conduct the necessary
meetings with the cross agency committees managing the extraterrestrial
presence issue. In the spring of 2009, before the truth embargo
becomes your embargo, initiate the most profound event in human history
and begin rebuilding the trust of the American people in their
government and the standing of your country in the world.
Dude. Some people need to put down the bong for a moment.
Posted by: eddiebear at
12:23 PM
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I just don't get it
The Brady Campaign and other authoritarian vermin tell us that only police officers and other government agents can safely handle firearms...
yet here's another cop ignoring basic safety rules and shooting himself with the damn thing.
Barry also notes that he's baffled as to why Plaxico Burress was carrying a firearm in a nightclub (again, idjit shot himself) in cities and states where there are pretty stringent gun control laws...I'm more baffled by the idea that someone thought that naming their kid Plaxico was a good idea, sounds like something you'd name a small manufacturing firm.
Posted by: doubleplusundead at
12:28 AM
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A small toothbrush manufacturing firm, no less
Posted by: Alice H at November 30, 2008 12:29 AM (jRtPb)
2
Yeah. NYC and NJ are uber strict on normal people carrying. I guess Plaxico thought he could get away with it.
Posted by: eddiebear at November 30, 2008 12:53 AM (fprik)
3
Well, we'll see, stars and the connected tend to get the permits in NYC, so maybe they'll get slaps on the wrist too.
Posted by: doubleplusundead at November 30, 2008 01:07 AM (D2cBI)
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Who Needs Prescription Pain Killers?
Not I. Especially when I have the ultimate over the counter pain remedy:

Yup, two days on, and I'm feeling no pain. And I haven't even had to go to a doctor, since the cut is starting to heal on its on, is free of infection (thanks to the Isopropyl Rubbing Alcohol and Neosporin I used), and doesn't need stitches.
Oh, and below the jump (for those squeamish folks out there) is what it looked like tonight.
more...
Posted by: eddiebear at
12:26 AM
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1
Damn dude, that's friggin nasty.
Posted by: doubleplusundead at November 30, 2008 12:29 AM (D2cBI)
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Note to self, never jam large, jagged shard of glass into my hand.
Posted by: doubleplusundead at November 30, 2008 12:48 AM (D2cBI)
3
Well, I am fortunate no nerve damage occurred, or that it didn't hit my wrists.
Posted by: eddiebear at November 30, 2008 12:49 AM (fprik)
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Oh that's nothing. You big pussy. Jeez, you made it sound like you hurt yourself.
You do, however, have the right painkiller. Although I prefer mine hops flavored.
Posted by: Don Carne at November 30, 2008 12:56 AM (wSNS7)
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I know your future now. My advice: start planning for a "rainy day."
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at November 30, 2008 01:20 AM (rWvvO)
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That's gonna leave a nice scar. Start thinking up a good story for when you get asked about it. "I was field dressing a 6-point buck and the knife slipped" sounds a lot better than what actually happened.
I've got a few good stories for the big scar on my knee, as "I fell off my bike when I was 14" just sounds pathetic.
Posted by: Hermit Dave at November 30, 2008 01:41 AM (WhFvm)
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Holy sheep shit! I take back all those hateful things I said about you! That looks like it was painful.
Good thing you have the anesthetic fluid available. You can practice the kung fu technique of "tipping the tumbler". Don't pull a muscle, though.
BTW: back when I drank bourbon, MM was my brand. Good shit.
Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at November 30, 2008 06:09 AM (dNYUA)
Posted by: doubleplusundead at November 30, 2008 12:11 PM (D2cBI)
9
You can never go wrong with Slayer
Posted by: eddiebear at November 30, 2008 12:20 PM (BnrT9)
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November 29, 2008
"Commemorating the day the world changed forever"
What can you get this Christmas for that special someone who already has everything that's tacky and lame? Oh yeah,
this...
Celebrate the victorious election of our 44th President of the United States, America's first African American Commander, with the commemorative plate from the American Historic Society™. The Historic Victory Plate™ is a priceless work of art featuring the triumphant President-Elect surrounded by the American flag and spectacular fireworks celebration. This first collectors issue plate celebrates with the inscription "Change Has Come" scripted in 22K Gold text.
Seeing as how they've apparently had to skimp on editorial services for their website, you can be sure that they've spared no expense on making this the finest ugly piece of crap you'll ever own.
(
h/t)
Posted by: Sean M. at
09:08 PM
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In my Christmas stocking I want...
...a
gift certificate for Planned Parenthood.
They can be used for everything from birth control to $58 examinations that include breast exams and pap tests. Men who receive healthcare at Planned Parenthood can use them too...Some Hoosiers 24-Hour News 8 talked to asked if the gift certificates could be used towards abortions. The answer is yes.
On the surface, this looks like a nice way to say to your poor unmarried sister with five rugrats by five different fathers, hey, I care about your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your household. On the other hand, the minority communities (which Planned Parenthood seems to target) recognize that Planned Parenthood is
encouraging minority genocide. (Good lord, did I actually type that?)
I'm sure we could have an interesting discussion here about teen pregnancies destroying the opportunities of young people vs the rights of the underprivileged to live their lives in whatever way they choose and who the hell are we to tell them not to have more children and the proper place of the state in being able to tell a woman whose children will have to be supported that maybe it's not a good idea to pop out another kid, but we're morons and we don't think that deeply, right?
To sum it up, if you really want to cause a stir at Christmas this year, you know what to get that special relative who has more children than they can possibly use (and we all have at least one), the one who you just want to tell, "Stop breeding already!"
Posted by: Alice H at
03:43 PM
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You know it's funny, liberals will cry racism about the number of liquor stores in minority neighborhoods but God forbid you bring up the number of abortuaries right next to them...
Posted by: John at November 29, 2008 07:22 PM (nAxsL)
2
That's exactly what Planned Parenthood was founded for. The founder was a noted believer in eugenics.
Posted by: Jeff_McAwesome at November 29, 2008 07:35 PM (DWkoI)
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Yeah, but the bitter irony is that, though Sanger was a hardcore eugenicist, she was also opposed to abortion in all cases and believed the procedure was barbaric (even when applied to those groups she wanted sterilized, etc., out of existence, e.g. blacks, the mentally retarded and so on).
Posted by: ECM at November 29, 2008 08:18 PM (q3V+C)
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From the guys who brought you Bacon Salt...
...now, there's
Baconnaise. Yes, bacon-flavored mayonnaise. In these trying times, it's nice to know that someone is looking out for us. By making things taste like bacon.
(Thanks to
mesa.)
Posted by: Sean M. at
04:55 AM
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1
Dude. Dude. I totally posted about the wonder of Baconnaise before. Though, really, can the wonder that is Baconnaise ever be praised enough?
Posted by: alexthechick at November 29, 2008 08:20 AM (RQaRb)
2
I can't believe I missed that. But you're right. We need to remind people that things like Baconnaise exist every now and then. Just as proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Posted by: Sean M. at November 29, 2008 09:38 PM (rLWHv)
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November 28, 2008
The problem is not the shoes
So. In the latest attempt to make sure that no one ever has to be responsible for themselves ever, cops in the UK
are now going to give drunk women flip flops to walk home in.Look, if you're going out drinking in kick ass heels, you are making a conscious decision to have your feet hurt like hell by the end of the night. You also know that there's a very good chance you'll have to walk home barefoot if you don't want to fall over. I generally made sure to carry a pair of flats with me, tucked down in the bottom of the bag, so that when the time came, I could change into something more appropriate. If a girl (because these sure as hell aren't women) can't handle her heels and her liquor, she should give up both.
Posted by: alexthechick at
07:02 PM
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1
Drunk chicks in heels are funny. The Nanny-state giving out flip-flops is stupid.
Posted by: MCPO Airdale at November 28, 2008 08:01 PM (wba6w)
2
One really bad ankle and one so-so ankle prevents me from making this bad decision in the first place. Which sorta pisses me off because neither ankle was caused by awesome-bad shoes, but now I can't wear awesome-bad shoes to go with any of my nice shit.
So I wear super-awesome purses and coats (in the winter, of course)...
Posted by: LickyLicky at November 28, 2008 11:58 PM (Iwl7k)
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The other option is for the drunk girls to get in my car. I'll get them home. Or at least give them a ride...
Posted by: xbradtc at November 29, 2008 02:30 AM (8eko9)
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If I wasn't already in love with peel, and trying to court her in a gentilmanly fashion, I would so hit on alexthechick, though if alex and peel are up for it, I guess there's enough of me to go around.
IT'S JUST THE NICE THING TO DO!
Posted by: wickedpinto at November 29, 2008 03:27 AM (ul7te)
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WP - I am touched by your nobility, truly, you are a selfless man among men. Brad, you too. It brings a tear to my eye.
And yeah, I can't actually wear any of the heels I lust after due to a combination of ankle problems from cheering and an unfortunate increase in the weight/ankle ratio. I can still lust after them though.
Posted by: alexthechick at November 29, 2008 08:24 AM (RQaRb)
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an unfortunate increase in the weight/ankle ratio.We really have to do more to stem the tragic disappearance of so many ankles.
Posted by: geoff at November 29, 2008 09:54 AM (OeJb3)
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I thought the problem with wymyns drinking was rounded heels?
Posted by: Frank G at November 29, 2008 01:03 PM (P0rQD)
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Blogger Down! Blogger Down!
Last night, I was over at my parents' house for the evening portion of Thanksgiving. All was well and good, until I volunteered to help bring up the leftovers from the basement refrigerator.
I had in one hand the glass bowl of stuffing. As I started to walk up the steps, I tripped upward, dropped the glass bowl, which then broke, with my momentum causing me to fall hands first onto the glass.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!
I never knew what having a giant shard of glass in my bloody hand felt like until last night. Now I do, and I never want to have that happen again. All the while, my cousin's twin boys just stared at the carnage, saying, "Wow! That looks like it hurts." Ahh. 8 year olds!
Anyway, no stitches were needed, but I do need to keep it heavily bandaged until a good scab develops, and my typing has to be curtailed, so I may be away for a while.
And what really sucks is that my injured hand is my right hand, which I use for "cleaning the prostate".
Posted by: eddiebear at
11:33 AM
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You wasted stuffing? How dare you!
Posted by: Alice H at November 28, 2008 11:59 AM (q9SxG)
Posted by: mare at November 28, 2008 01:27 PM (X1fsj)
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But was the stuffing okay?
Seriously, I'm glad it wasn't worse, I hope you heal soon.
Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2008 02:06 PM (LJ0he)
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"cleaning the prostate" ?
Look, you're just going to have to forgo practicing your Kung Fu techniques until your hand heals.
"Cleaning the prostate", "thumping the blind melon", "spanking the monkey", and "biting the wax tadpole" are verboten until your tissues knit!
Try "munching the leftovers". But skip the stuffing, I say!
Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at November 28, 2008 03:25 PM (dNYUA)
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Eddie's shopping this story all over the internet. Until I see bloody pics at his place, I'm pretty sure he's full of shit. He just wants sympathy from Alice H. and Alexthechick.
Posted by: xbradtc at November 28, 2008 06:06 PM (8eko9)
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"Wow! That looks like it hurts." Ahh. 8 year olds!
Kids rock. It's great how they just say what's on their minds, untempered by most social constraints.
I was fixing something for my SO's boy with superglue and, being a moron, managed to glue a couple fingers together. The kid's first question: "Is my toy going to be OK?" To this day, over a year later, every time I go to fix something, her kids tell me not to glue my fingers together and laugh their little heads off. Bastards.
Anyway, hope you heal ok. Nasty cuts in flexible parts of the body really suck, and I have the scars to prove it.
Posted by: Hermit Dave at November 28, 2008 07:03 PM (WhFvm)
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No stitches? It wudn't that bad, broseph.
As for your "game" hand, God did give you
two hands, didn't He?
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at November 28, 2008 08:49 PM (rWvvO)
8
Kinda done that. When I was a kid, I had a shard of glass go in on the fingertip side of my first knuckle and come out on the hand side of my second knuckle. I have some nerve damage, but surprisingly, no severed muscles or tendons.
I also got dragged under a car and a piece of glass or gravel cut the side of my left knee open. Yeah, bad cuts on bendy parts are really not good. Not good at all, but they do get you out of gym class... heh.
I feel for you. I guess you can use this 'opportunity' to find out how ambidextrous you are. As Rahm sez, don't waste a crisis. Or some shit like that.
Posted by: LickyLicky at November 29, 2008 12:04 AM (Iwl7k)
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Sadly, the bowl and the stuffing didn't survive. Thankfully, the bowl was one of those $10 from Target types. My mom has had enough children to know not to let them handle the good stuff.
Oh, and as for the right hand thing, it kinda kills the mood when scabs and blood mix in with the cleansing aspect.
Posted by: eddiebear at November 29, 2008 10:39 AM (wF/HI)
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switching hands is kinda like dating a new chick, though. A clumsy new chick.
Not that I would know, of course
Posted by: Frank G at November 29, 2008 01:25 PM (P0rQD)
11
Thankfully, the bowl was one of those $10 from Target types.I dropped one of those a few days ago (full of pumpkin seeds), damn, they blow up good. It's like they pre-stress them at the factory for maximum collateral damage.
Posted by: A. Weasel at November 29, 2008 01:25 PM (qkq80)
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Science of the Settled
Posted by: Sean M. at
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He seems like a reasonable well informed bloke. But I've gotten too accustomed to threats and lots of dire predictions in my science. And I quickly tire of his measured and thoughtful, 'on the one hand this and on the other hand that' approach. Good old Al Gore doesn't fool around with over thinking these issues: he just comes right out and says his position is settled science and everyone else is lying to us. I like not having to think too much or do any research. I especially respect the way Al Gore never wasted time or money on scientific degrees. No, you've got to respect someone who doesn't waste time on argument or discussion. Al Gore isn't afraid to apply a little muscle to science. Like the guy says people are afraid to lose their jobs if they publicly disagree with Gore. Now there's a guy who is willing to break a few heads just so I don't have to think too much. Maybe someday Al Gore will share the scientific secret that allows him to fly private jets and and drive around in fleets of SUVs without harming the environment. He must have some secret technology because if he engaged in that dangerous behavior while saying what he says in public it would make him just another money grubbing hypocrite and not the great leader of mankind he claims to be.
Posted by: snaggletoothie at November 28, 2008 11:45 AM (9m+gW)
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In case you were wondering...
...the terror attacks in Mumbai were America's fault.
Just ask someone who chose to leave a hellhole in India and come to America and make millions of dollars in our evil capitalist system.
Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at
12:49 AM
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Am I so much of a nationalist that I despise/hate/loathe people who come from other countries and have the balls to rip on the US of A?
He's an scam artist anyway.
Posted by: mare at November 28, 2008 01:25 PM (X1fsj)
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November 27, 2008
A Turkey Day Video
I'm sure David Shuster will be outrageously outraged by this. Yeah.
Posted by: Sean M. at
05:45 PM
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The Turks like Obama more than Bush. How can I not become a Democrat? How can I go to bed happy as long as one whiny, smart ass Turk is still unhappy.
Will this newsreader give it as much coverage when the Turks inevitably turn against Barack?
Posted by: snaggletoothie at November 28, 2008 12:24 PM (9m+gW)
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