November 30, 2008

I got nuthin'

Posted by: Sean M. at 06:03 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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The times has come to talk of many things

Of shoes - these shoes in particular

Now.  Objectively, these are horrific.  And only $1,800!  But there's part of me that loves them in all of their Cher-tastic glory.  I mean, can't you just see Cher, during her Sonny and Cher Show days, wearing these and a Pocohontas outfit.  In fact, I think she did wear an outfit like that.  But yes, these may be ugly as all hell but they do speak to my inner diva. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 03:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hey Doom And Gloomers! How Did Those Black Friday Numbers Fare?

Up from last year.

But, leave it to The Deciders to put a negative spin on the numbers:

But the sales boost during the post-Thanksgiving shopathon came at the expense of profits as the nation's retailers had to slash prices to attract the crowds in a season that is expected to be the weakest in decades.

Of course, come November, 2009, we will hear nothing but trumpets and fanfare.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:38 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I suppose this is a good thing

The intent of the Mumbai attacks was to kill 5000.

One of the reports said that there was quite a bit of ammunition left over, and the police were surprised at how technologically savvy the terrorists were with their satellite phones and bombing techniques.  I guess the Indian police haven't heard of that thar Intarweb.

Posted by: Alice H at 12:36 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Hope! Change! Extra-Terrestrial Truth!

Looks as though the real truth will be revealed come 1-20-09.

PRG (Paradigm Research Group. Some sort of goofball group.) is well aware of your intention to launch a high technology “New Deal” code named “New Apollo Project” to restore America’s economy.   This massive program to subsidize green technology development, create jobs, expand the manufacturing base and reverse the trade imbalance will be likely accompanied by legislation prohibiting overseas hiring and offshore manufacturing.   

All well and good, but it will not be enough.   The challenges are too great and the response to these challenges too long delayed.   It is essential the paradigm breaking technologies hidden in unacknowledged special access programs and sequestered behind the extraterrestrial truth embargo be included.

If you are in need of counsel to assist you in these matters, you have but to turn to your transition co-chair, John Podesta.    His efforts to end the truth embargo and release all relevant government documents date back to at least 1993 and the Rockefeller Initiative.   PRG believes he is fully aware of the extraterrestrial presence and is committed to creating more open, transparent governance.   In this he is in sync with the chief financial backer of his Center for American Progress think tank, George Soros.

Reach out to your party’s allies within the military services and intelligence agencies.  When you take office conduct the necessary meetings with the cross agency committees managing the extraterrestrial presence issue.  In the spring of 2009, before the truth embargo becomes your embargo, initiate the most profound event in human history and begin rebuilding the trust of the American people in their government and the standing of your country in the world.

Dude. Some people need to put down the bong for a moment.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:23 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Make sure you go check out The New Republican.  Oh, and follow him on Twitter, too. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 03:01 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I just don't get it

The Brady Campaign and other authoritarian vermin tell us that only police officers and other government agents can safely handle firearms...yet here's another cop ignoring basic safety rules and shooting himself with the damn thing.

Barry also notes that he's baffled as to why Plaxico Burress was carrying a firearm in a nightclub (again, idjit shot himself) in cities and states where there are pretty stringent gun control laws...I'm more baffled by the idea that someone thought that naming their kid Plaxico was a good idea, sounds like something you'd name a small manufacturing firm.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:28 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Who Needs Prescription Pain Killers?

Not I. Especially when I have the ultimate over the counter pain remedy:

Yup, two days on, and I'm feeling no pain. And I haven't even had to go to a doctor, since the cut is starting to heal on its on, is free of infection (thanks to the Isopropyl Rubbing Alcohol and Neosporin I used), and doesn't need stitches.

Oh, and below the jump (for those squeamish folks out there) is what it looked like tonight.


Posted by: eddiebear at 12:26 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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November 29, 2008

A few reasons I'm grateful to live in America

  1. Our politicians don't believe that pricks harm their dignity.  This goes double for Bill Clinton.
  2. Our manufacturers generally know the difference between polyethylene glycol and diethylene glycol.
  3. Nobody's going to try to bribe me to name my next baby Osama, or Adolf, or Benito.
  4. It's not illegal to try to accidentally shoot myself in the head.  (Does anyone actually sleep with a gun under their pillow?)

Posted by: Alice H at 11:29 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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"Commemorating the day the world changed forever"

What can you get this Christmas for that special someone who already has everything that's tacky and lame? Oh yeah, this...

Celebrate the victorious election of our 44th President of the United States, America's first African American Commander, with the commemorative plate from the American Historic Societyâ„¢. The Historic Victory Plateâ„¢ is a priceless work of art featuring the triumphant President-Elect surrounded by the American flag and spectacular fireworks celebration. This first collectors issue plate celebrates with the inscription "Change Has Come" scripted in 22K Gold text.
Seeing as how they've apparently had to skimp on editorial services for their website, you can be sure that they've spared no expense on making this the finest ugly piece of crap you'll ever own.


Posted by: Sean M. at 09:08 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Some people think a trampling death is sad, and others...well...

"A dude got trampled to death at Wal-Mart?  Friggin' sweet!!eleventy!!!one!!!  Send out a press release condemning Wal-Mart....QUICK!"
- Bruce Both, president of the United Food and Commercial Workers Union

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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In my Christmas stocking I want...

...a gift certificate for Planned Parenthood.

They can be used for everything from birth control to $58 examinations that include breast exams and pap tests. Men who receive healthcare at Planned Parenthood can use them too...Some Hoosiers 24-Hour News 8 talked to asked if the gift certificates could be used towards abortions. The answer is yes.
On the surface, this looks like a nice way to say to your poor unmarried sister with five rugrats by five different fathers, hey, I care about your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your household. On the other hand, the minority communities (which Planned Parenthood seems to target) recognize that Planned Parenthood is encouraging minority genocide. (Good lord, did I actually type that?)

I'm sure we could have an interesting discussion here about teen pregnancies destroying the opportunities of young people vs the rights of the underprivileged to live their lives in whatever way they choose and who the hell are we to tell them not to have more children and the proper place of the state in being able to tell a woman whose children will have to be supported that maybe it's not a good idea to pop out another kid, but we're morons and we don't think that deeply, right?

To sum it up, if you really want to cause a stir at Christmas this year, you know what to get that special relative who has more children than they can possibly use (and we all have at least one), the one who you just want to tell, "Stop breeding already!" 

Posted by: Alice H at 03:43 PM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
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Hairspray 2?  Really?

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:14 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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From the guys who brought you Bacon Salt..., there's Baconnaise.  Yes, bacon-flavored mayonnaise.  In these trying times, it's nice to know that someone is looking out for us.  By making things taste like bacon.

(Thanks to mesa.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:55 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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November 28, 2008

The duck makes a good point

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:24 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The problem is not the shoes

So. In the latest attempt to make sure that no one ever has to be responsible for themselves ever, cops in the UK are now going to give drunk women flip flops to walk home in.

Look, if you're going out drinking in kick ass heels, you are making a conscious decision to have your feet hurt like hell by the end of the night. You also know that there's a very good chance you'll have to walk home barefoot if you don't want to fall over.  I generally made sure to carry a pair of flats with me, tucked down in the bottom of the bag, so that when the time came, I could change into something more appropriate.  If a girl (because these sure as hell aren't women) can't handle her heels and her liquor, she should give up both.

Posted by: alexthechick at 07:02 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Blogger Down! Blogger Down!

Last night, I was over at my parents' house for the evening portion of Thanksgiving. All was well and good, until I volunteered to help bring up the leftovers from the basement refrigerator.

I had in one hand the glass bowl of stuffing. As I started to walk up the steps, I tripped upward, dropped the glass bowl, which then broke, with my momentum causing me to fall hands first onto the glass.


I never knew what having a giant shard of glass in my bloody hand felt like until last night. Now I do, and I never want to have that happen again. All the while, my cousin's twin boys just stared at the carnage, saying, "Wow! That looks like it hurts." Ahh. 8 year olds!

Anyway, no stitches were needed, but I do need to keep it heavily bandaged until a good scab develops, and my typing has to be curtailed, so I may be away for a while.

And what really sucks is that my injured hand is my right hand, which I use for "cleaning the prostate".

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:33 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Science of the Settled

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:54 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In case you were wondering...

...the terror attacks in Mumbai were America's fault.  Just ask someone who chose to leave a hellhole in India and come to America and make millions of dollars in our evil capitalist system. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:49 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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November 27, 2008

A Turkey Day Video

I'm sure David Shuster will be outrageously outraged by this.  Yeah.

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:45 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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