You're doing it wrong

21-year-old weightlifter tries to squat 1008 lbs. at Sr. nationals in Chicago; projectile vomits all over judge, passes out

with bonus puking video:

Posted by: chad98036 at 08:55 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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ORLY?

Hot Air Headlines linked to a column from someone I've never heard of by the name of Froma Harrop, which had to do with the fact that Obama isn't a god (I won't even bother to link to his Dem nomination speech, what with healing the sick and lowering the seas), but I found this innaresting:

With all due respect to colleagues, these things aren't happening to Obama. They are happening to the world. Obama's vaunted "good luck" was in campaign politics, a far smaller and more manageable stage than he's playing on today. There has never been a time in world history when stuff wasn't happening.

Um, are you sure you want to go there? Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Convictions obtained in Union Carbide disaster

Yes, that Union Carbide disaster. The one over 25 years ago.

If BP gets lucky, we'll outsource our justice system. Since there's no math on this blog, I'll let you figure out in your own pretty little heads what two years and a two thousand dollar fine - for poisoning half a million people - gives us for a value per human life in rupees.

I was hoping to accompany this with a video of Union Carbide by Revolting Cocks, but I'm not sure they ever made a video for that particular song. Since I can't seem to find one, here's another RevCo classic for you.

Posted by: Alice H at 12:18 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

"Labor isn't an arm of the Democratic Party," [AFL-CIO spokesman Eddie] Vale said.

I don't know which is funnier...the fact that someone from the White House said that the unions had "flushed $10 million of their members' money down the toilet" in trying to beat Blanche Lincoln, or that Vale could even say that with a straight face.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:05 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Wow

(update, that's Strasburg's first pitch)
I hate to step on ATC's post (best wishes), but....
I just got back from Strasburg's first game with the Nationals.
Holy moly.
14Ks, 0BBs with 94 pitches.
Orel Hershiser just said that was ridiculous, he should have thrown at least114 for that many Ks.
14Ks and no walks. 14 freaking strike outs and no walks. He's the first rookie to do that and the 6th ever since 1900.
Think of that. He's done something that's barely been done in 110 years. Yeah, it was against a suck team but still. 110 years.

Dammit. I gave up on baseball in about 2001. Between the last strike and the Mets getting rid of fan favorites for Mo Vaugh I was done. I stopped getting the baseball package in 2001.
When the Nats came to DC I became a fan. Why not? I didn't have to worry about them winning, I could just enjoy the game.

Being a Nats fan has been easy. You watch until the 7th and then go to bed or go home if you're at the game (because you knew they were going to lose no matter the score).
This year? I have to watch the whole damn game and get upset when they lose all while watching what the other teams are doing.

You know how the Braves were so good in the 90s? Well, the Nats have some great young pitchers and some darn good young hitters.
Apcray. Next year is going to be worse, I'll be thinking championship.

Eh, there are worse things, I could still be a Mets fan and have to deal with $100mil+ payroll for 70 wins.

Posted by: Veeshir at 10:31 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Hijacking the blog for personal stuff

I'm currently in Canada due to a medical emergency with the BFF.  Long story short, all the signs point to her having colon cancer.  She first felt sick two weeks ago and this has all come about very quickly.  They did a CT scan yesterday that showed lesions and she's off being scoped right now.  Biopsy results will be 5-6 days probably.  She's only 39 years old.

Her mother died of colon cancer about 10 years ago so, needless to say, she's completely terrified.  Please pray or send good thoughts or evil thoughts towards cancer or what have you.  I don't know if I'm going to be around more or less since visiting hours at the hospital are limited.  I do have wifi at the hotel so I'm not totally out of the loop.

Motherfucking cancer needs to die in a motherfucking fire. 

UPDATE:  BFF (her name is Leslie for those praying) had the scope and a bonus laproscopy.  There is a mass and now it's a matter of waiting for the biopsy to set up the treatment plan.  The good news is that she was released from the hospital in the meantime so I get to play pack mule and take care of her.  Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers, it means a lot. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 03:52 PM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
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Aw, c'mon, it's not like it was Better Off Ted

Update: The season finale wasn't even until the next week.  I hope she missed it because she thought the series was over on the 19th.

Posted by: Alice H at 02:34 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Bob Barker-esque freakshow Florida governor scrubs pro-life section of his campaign website

And the GOP leadership backed this Bob Barker-lookin' freakshow over Rubio.  You know, for a bunch of ignorant wingnut redneck racist teabaggers, we seem to be doing a hell of a lot better at this politics thing then you overpaid fucktards are.  Not only that, he offered up supporting ending the secret ballot for unionization votes.  Beating Charlie Crist needs to be defeated in Florida first, that's task number one, but after that, efforts need to be made to drive the establishment idiots out of power who supported Crist.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Saint George Tiller was a moral center

I get that some people consider access to abortion services necessary, or even A Good Thing when it's just too inconvenient to give up nine months of your life to gestation.  But really?  Abortion as a spiritual experience?  Does the author really think that God is watching and smiling and guiding abortionists' hands as they rip babies out of their mothers' wombs?

I was going to excerpt this, but go read the whole thing.  I couldn't have written a better exaggeration of delusion if I'd dropped a couple of hits of acid, drank a fifth of Val-U-Rite, and started typing as the stream of consciousness flowed in rainbow waves from my fingertips as my hands became one with the keyboard.

Posted by: Alice H at 11:45 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Too bad, so sad

The "progressive community" is apparently "fretting" about the retirement of anti-Semite Helen Thomas, according to the Puffington Host:

Her absence will be felt "significantly," said Ilyse Hogue, Communications Director of Moveon.org. "The burden will fall on the rest of the press corps to make sure the administration feels the need to be transparent about its plans to get us out of Iraq and Afghanistan."

Say, I'd like to get us out of those countries, too, but I have a feeling that Ms. Hogue isn't exactly looking for the same kind of conditions that our troops are. I mean victory.

"Even though the anger toward her and her retirement are entirely appropriate, the absence of her raw questions about the war(s) will be felt by the anti-war movement, and everyone else," said Peter Daou, an influential online voice, formerly of the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign. "The chummy atmosphere between the White House press corps and the past two administrations (a case in point was the giddy response to Gibbs joining Twitter) hasn't been conducive to the kind of blunt questions she was willing to ask."

Um, Pete, how about the question she apparently wasn't willing to ask during all these years?

Namely, "Mr. President, was World War II worth it?"

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:37 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Dear November: Please Hurry Up!

Especially after shit like this.

Seriously, fuck anything that votes for against this*. Fuck them so fucking freaky style with the cat's paw of hatiness and anger tied to the flailing fuckring from the flying fuckrhino of fuck that all that will be left of them is a trail of tears, spent careers, more tears, and an extra trip down the river of fuck. Fuck them for using junk data to justify their unlubed and unwanted scissorfucking of the American way of life as if it were an overworked Sri Lankan Soccer Ball Maker. Fuck them for ignoring the voting public, who keeps yelling "Fuck No!" to their agenda. And fuck them fuckity fucklike with a free fuckmissile as a loss leader for their unmitigated gall and arrogance.

Look, you fucking fastuous fuckpeds of fucking FAIL and flagitiousness, I will fucking enjoy reminding you who is boss this November. I will fucking enjoy reminding you that we the fucking people rule and should be listened to, lest your career get the foin of fucking fury forced up your fucking asses. And I will fifty fucking hippie kicks in a row enjoy reminding you that fucking with my daughter's future and ability to live her own life as a free person will have its electoral and career shortening consequences for you and the fucking rest of your fuckbag of fooliaminy.

So fuck off, lefties. Fuck you with what you have left of your career and get the fucking fucked with a buffalo horn while leaving.

*Critical Update! Sean pointed out my foolishness and foppery. Carry on.

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:06 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Holy crap

Just holy crap.

Posted by: Alice H at 06:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I have a favor to ask

If you're going to try to learn to do something dangerous by watching YouTube, please videotape your attempts to perform the action.  You know, so the rest of us can laugh and point.

Posted by: Alice H at 06:02 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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That just leaves more for the real men

Egyptian men hate themselves so much, they've banned themselves from marrying Israeli women.  Apparently they'd rather marry someone who needs a burqa than someone who looks good in, well, anything they wear.

I feel guilty posting this without the obligatory IDF babes pictures, but I'm short on time right now, so I'll let youse guys help out in the comments.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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What's the opposite of the end of civilization?

On June 7, 1776, Richard Henry Lee of Virginia (my adoptive state Yay!) introduced a resolution to the Second Continental Congress proposing independence for the United Colonies and renaming them the United States.
This would lead to the Declaration of Independence (written by another Virginian).

Goooooooo us!
In case you haven't seen it, the movie 1776, even though a musical, about this is fan-farging-tastic. And I say that as someone who thinks musicals are best with the sound down.
Ron Holgate, Broadway actor, who portrayed Richard Henry Lee did so spectacular.....Lee!
H/T Veeshir's stepfather

Posted by: Veeshir at 04:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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How ecotards run a business

While part of me wants to point, laugh, and call the owner of this restaurant a dumbass, I just remember that a business-owner can do whatever the hell they want with their establishment.  Telling your customers not to come back just because they didn't eat their entire meal?  Well, if it works for you.  I imagine that it can't be good for long-term profitability.

An Australian restaurateur fed up with the waste left by diners has ordered her customers to eat everything on their plates for their sake of the earth or pay a penalty and not return.

Chef Yukako Ichikawa has introduced a 30 percent discount for diners who eat all the food they have ordered at Wafu, her 30-seat restaurant in the Sydney suburb of Surry Hills, that describes itself as "guilty free Japanese cuisine."

"To contribute toward creating a sustainable future we request a little more of our guests than most other restaurants," she says in a list of her restaurant's policies that is pinned on the door to the eatery.

This list includes finishing all dishes ordered which are organic and free of gluten, dairy, sugar and eggs and the chef and her staff tell people who don't clear their plates to choose another restaurant next time.

"Finishing your meal requires that everything is eaten except lemon slices, gari (sushi ginger) and wasabi," says the menu.

"Please also note that vegetables and salad on the side are NOT decorations; they are part of the meal too."

Posted by: Ember at 02:37 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Good riddance to bad rubbish

Helen Thomas to retire immediately, now we just need to drive Pat Buchanan out of conservative publications...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:38 AM | Comments (27) | Add Comment
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Less funny, more endy

So in late March I had a paranoid fantasy about wars all over the world.
I figured by late May at the latest, there would be wars going on in at least the Caucasus and Israel.
I based that on the fact that invasion season in Georgia and Ukraine is right around then. You wait too long, and you're bogged down in snow and cold and your machines and men start failing.

So I'm still paranoid, and I keep seeing things that make me more so.
NoKo and SoKo are going around the warpole and Obama is silent on that, which would only embolden NoKo.
Now, Iran is making noises about the Revolutionary Guard going with the next Freedom* Flotilla.

The only thing missing from my doomsday scenario is Russia. But I have faith in Putin, sure he's a Bond villain, but he's a KGB/Tsarist Bond Villain in charge of a country all pissed off the world doesn't respect (read: fear) them anymore and looking nostalgically back at the USSR.
I'm not rooting for such a cataclysm, I'm saying that Obama's weakness and the way he always sides with the dictator (from Honduras to Iran to Gaza) is making it much more likely.

*Actual results may vary.

h/t The Jawas.

Spelling fixed.

Posted by: Veeshir at 05:50 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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For Alex

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:43 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Stupid question time

(image via MCS)

I'm running on almost no sleep, so maybe there's a really obvious answer to this one.

If our oil supplies are OMFG GONNA RUN OUT NEXT WEEK!!!!!, why are we so worried about the BP oil gusher?  Shouldn't it be stopping on its own any day now?

Posted by: Alice H at 11:32 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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