April 09, 2010

Another reason to hate Jenny McCarthy

I guess "I'll continue to be the voice [of autism]" means shutting down the school for autistic kids you've been funding.

Posted by: Alice H at 07:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Tom Sizemore is weeping

I had guessed that maybe the use of one was illegal, but I had no idea that the sale would be too.


Posted by: Alice H at 05:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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By George I think he's got it.

Kevin O'Brien, who apparently deals plains and works at a Cleveland newspaper, gets it.
This is the first article I've seen about tea parties and tea partiers that actually informs people about them, as much as such a diffuse movement can be explained.
Quote
Democratic officeholders should be afraid.

Republican officeholders, too.

For many a year now, officeholders of both major parties have worked hard to earn the distrust of ordinary Americans. It appears that they finally have succeeded.

If only ordinary Americans hadn't been so inattentive. If only ordinary Americans hadn't been so trusting. If only ordinary Americans hadn't been so damnably nice, the country would be in a better position to manage its finances today.

That's exactly correct, Americans have a deal with our politicians, we don't pay too much attention and they don't screw us too badly.

They've broken that compact and we're pissed off.

Read the whole thing, it's not that long but it's good. And he deserves the clicks, a real journalist who doesn't show contempt for the hoi polloi is a rare thing.

I have to admit, I wish I was at all interested in Cleveland because I keep seeing good articles in this paper but I really don't feel like weeding my way through Cleveland issues to get to the national stuff I am interested in. 

Forgot to H/T Boortz

Posted by: Veeshir at 03:19 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Target practice

Good for when you need to take out a whole flock of hippies cruising around on their Segways.



(h/t The Firearm Blog)

Posted by: Alice H at 02:02 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Stay classy, NJ teacher union thugs

From a memo the union released,

The Record of Bergen County obtained the Bergen County Education Association memo that includes a closing prayer:

"Dear Lord this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. I just wanted to let you know that Chris Christie is my favorite governor."


Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:48 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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There is no possible way this can go wrong

The Phelphs Freaks are going to picket the funerals of the WV miners because, idk, the gamma ray burst told them to or some such.

Why is this marked Win then?  Because I do believe that the Phelps Freaks will be greeted in the manner in which they so so richly deserve. 

I would not provoke a West Virginia coal miner and/or his widow.  You're safer dousing yourself in bbq sauce and then climbing into a polar bear cage. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 11:23 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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More Teabagging Violence, Rudeness, And Death Threats

Yeah, those damn teabaggers, wishing for death to befall a politician. Fucking Christianist inbred bigots. Jeebus horsecocking Christ, what the fuckingly fucked up fuckjousting with a bisexual chimp are those teabaggers doing? Wishing death on people? Fuck the world with a goathorn!

The Record of Bergen County obtained the Bergen County Education Association memo that includes a closing prayer:

"Dear Lord this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. I just wanted to let you know that Chris Christie is my favorite governor."


Oh, since it was used by a Union Thug against a Republican, I guess it's kosher, right?

Association president Joe Coppola says the "prayer" was a joke and was never meant to be made public.


Oh, a fucking comedian! Well played, Vaudeville! And while you are at it, can I just say (in joke form) that it would be really fucking awesome if you were sodomized unwillingly by the New Jersey Devil with the North Goalpost from Giants Stadium coated in Fuck Sundae flavoring? Because that is a fucking awesome joke, isn't it, Assfister McGee? Man, I fucking laughed my ass all the way to the River of Awesome with that one.

Fuck you, assholes. Fuck you with the wastewater from the Fuckriver of Fuck. Fuck you for telling us we can't make fucking (non violent and non death wish-y) jokes about your politicians, but the moment you crack one on us, we are supposed to just laugh it off?

Well, fuck you, the snatch end of a Bob Crane video. Fuck you forever, get a real fucking job, and leave the comedy to Jonathan Winters.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:28 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I worked as hard on this post as Obama works to be bipartisan.

And other awesome metaphors and analogies:

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.


There are some good ones in the list.  Feel free to offer your own competition.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:41 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Death panels? What death panels?

When that silly Snowbilly rube Sarah Palin mentioned "death panels" on her stupid Facebook page, she didn't know what the fuck she was talking about, right? Right?

A dying mother last night became the human face of an election battle over the NHS.

Nikki Phelps, 37, who has a rare glandular cancer, has been refused the only drug that could prolong her life.

Despite pleas from her consultant, her local NHS trust says it will not meet the £100-a-day cost.

Labour ministers promised more than a year ago to give sufferers of rare cancers easier access to life-extending drugs.

But the rationing body NICE has since refused to approve ten such drugs. Experts say the rulings cut short up to 20,000 lives.

Note that Palin's detractors were correct, by the way. It's a "rationing body," not a "death panel." And it's even called "NICE." In your face, Sarah!

Also, just imagine how much they've been able to bend that awful, awful "cost curve" downward. Totally worth it.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:14 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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April 08, 2010

Those Awful Teahadis And Their Violence

Oh.

Posted by: eddiebear at 04:32 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Yay Golf?

Posted by: eddiebear at 04:29 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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This is why my seven-year-old doesn't get to drive my car

This would be more accurate if they were driving as fast as the vehicle would go.  Probably more fun to watch, too, especially if you pretend that the blood and guts from the 'stunt driver' is no more real than in GTA and imagine driving back and forth through it to see your tire tracks.  Via Gizmodo.


Posted by: Alice H at 01:15 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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BAG-Day next week.



Buy a Gun Day is next week.
I'll be going to the DC Tax Day Tea Party so I'll post early. Hopefully my gun(s) won't be the only one(s). It'll be all lonely.
Email pics and what you want to be called to veeshir at the hotmail place.
If you can't get a gun, get some ammo and play along.

Posted by: Veeshir at 12:38 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Only 28% Think Most Incumbents Should Be Reelected

Ka-ching.

The trend for previous midterm elections reveals that the 28% re-elect figure puts the sitting majority party in a danger zone. In the two recent midterm elections in which the congressional balance of power changed (1994 and 2006), the percentage of voters saying most members deserved to be re-elected fell below 40%, as it does today. By contrast, in 1998 and 2002, when the existing Republican majority was maintained, 55% or better held this view.


Still (not surprisingly) most people think that their incumbent should be reelected.

(h/t: Allahtwitter)

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:07 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Dear Cancer

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you for eternity with a neutron bomb shoved up your uncircumcised cocktruck. Fuck you for all you have wrought. Fuck you for damaging too many innocent lives. And fuck you for trying to take my mom and my best friend's two year old daughter.

Oh, and fuck you for thinking you could wash us away like a disease at the dick clinic in a college town. Fuck you for thinking the people I know and love won't go down without a fight. Fuck you for thinking we would just roll over. And fuck you, just because I feel like saying it.

You thought you had an easy mark, didn't you? You thought you had an easy victory, didn't you? You thought we would melt like a pulled pork sandwich in the sun, didn't you? Well, guess what, you fuckingly fucked up fuckjacket? You fucking failed. You fucking have fallen onto my fuckchart of fury for this, and you will not get anybody I know without the fight of YOUR fucking life.

So get fucked, cancer. Get fucked with a Sticky Bismarck along the way.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:38 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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April 07, 2010

An Open Letter To Congressman Jim Moran

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you forever, tentacle rape style from the cockmonkeyed treehouse of fuck. Fuck you for lying about current opponents of Obamacare. Fuck you for lying about how we operate and view the world. And fuckingly fuck you fuckheadedly for fucking lying about Ronald Reagan and claiming his support for freeing people is a terrorist act.

Fuck you, Congressman Moran. Fuck you, for you don't know me. You don't know what it's like for me to see damn near half of my fucking paycheck stolen from me by an etch a sketch style fuckface such as you. You don't know how much it hurts me to see my freedom limited without my consent. You don't know how it hurts me to see my daughter's future given the public park bathroom greeting through shitty and rationed care. You don't understand how much it hurts to see my voice ignored and ridiculed. And fuck you for trying to take a logical leap of faith bigger than the one that Indiana Jones took by trying to claim that my non violent opposition to your votes puts me in the same cohort with violent freaks.

So fuck off, Congressman. Fuck off with your soon to be minority status. And get fucked with the fuckmagnets of fury. I can't wait for November.


Posted by: eddiebear at 11:21 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Some evening funneh for you

This is old, but given the fun being had at the Moron-in--Chief's place, it's worth posting again,


Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Breaking: Thwarted Terrorist Attack

In case you haven't checked the Head Moron's place.

Update: Or not.  No explosives found.  Seems like it was probably a big misunderstanding.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:34 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Belated

Scrabble with proper nouns? Get fucked.


Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:07 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Good stuff to know - What to do if you are the first person to make contact with an alien

Humping it's leg in an attempt to assert dominance is not an option

Posted by: chad98036 at 07:05 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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