"Don't be evil"

Google fails itself:

Way to go, guys.

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:48 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Michelle's husband does too little, too late

For the first time in my adult life, I'm ashamed of my country.

Update: Obama's wannabe boyfriend, Andrew Sullivan (no link, per editorial policy) is predictably, well, Andrew Sullivan...

What a relief to have someone with this degree of restraint and prudence and empathy - refusing to be baited by Khamenei or the neocons, and yet taking an eloquent stand, as we all do, in defense of freedom and non-violence.

Yeah, and it only took him a week or so. Better late than never, huh?

Oh, and why don't you just go ahead and say "Jews" instead of "neocons" like you know you want to?

You and your man-crush are a fucking joke, and a bad one at that.

Update 2: A-fucking-men:

In 1823, first-term congressman Daniel Webster spoke up in support of the Greek revolution. Responding to critics who said that mere rhetorical support would do the revolutionaries no good, Webster said: "I hope it may. It may give them courage and spirit. It may assure them of public regard, teach them that they are not wholly forgotten by the civilized world, and inspire them with constancy in the pursuit of their great end."

And in any case, Webster continued, support for those fighting for freedom abroad was "due to our own character, and called for by our own duty."

That whirring noise you hear is Webster spinning furiously in his grave.

Posted by: Sean M. at 03:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Juxtaposition

Why our media isn't taken seriously anymore.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:16 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Last Minute Father's Day Gift Guide for Wives

As all of you probably know, Father's day is tomorrow.  And if you're like most wives, you're probably not sure what to get your husbands, who spend 364 days of the year working and slaving away to help make life better for you and the children.
 
Thankfully, I'm here to help you with your gift guide.  Even better, these are all low-cost ideas, because men don't really care how much you spend.  It's the thought that counts.
 
And I thought about this list for at least ten minutes.
 
Bikini Lawn Mowing:  It's not about getting the grass the right length, or giving him time out of the hot sun.  It's an opportunity for him to enjoy watching you jiggle and sweat out in the yard, and perhaps even shatter the mower on a hidden stump, allowing him to upgrade to some kind of laser-guided robot lawn mower.  And that's good for everybody. 
 
The Sound of Silence:  For some fathers, the best gift on father's day is not to be pestered by their hideous spawn (you know who you are).  If your husband is one of these, do him the great favor of taking the spawn away for the day and giving him the sound of silence.  Leave behind a 6-pack for him and you'll probably find that he's bought you flowers and bragged to his friends he has the best wife ever!
 
Bikini Vacuuming:  Why not turn down the thermostat, put on a bikini, and clean up a little bit while he enjoys a beer and the ball game?  He'll be glad you did!  He won't even care if the vacuum ends up destroyed and you have to get one of those self-guided Roomba vacuums that will eventually come to life and suck your eyeballs out while you sleep.
 
Pull Their Finger:  There is no prouder moment in a father's life than when his children master the old "pull my finger" gag.  So why don't you spend a few hours training the kids so that their old man can be proud the next time they disrupt a family gathering, school event or worship service?
 
Bikini Budgeting:  Whether you use a pencil and paper, a spreadsheet, or an abacus, he's bound not to complain about income and expenses if you're telling him about them while wearing a bikini.  By the time you're done with your fiduciary duties, he won't care if you upgrade your accounting system to a spandex-clad accountant straight off the cover of a Harlequin romance book.
 
Verbal Negotiations with his Silent Partner (IYKWIMAITTYD):  This classic standby doesn't say "I ran out of ideas."  It says "you're the luckiest husband in the neighborhood."
 
Bikini Car Wash:  Ladies, there's a reason that the local Junior College soccer team buys new uniforms every year and averages six fans a game.  This is that reason, and there's no reason that you can't replicate their success in the privacy of your own garage or carport.
 
Fake Divorce Papers:  Let's say that you spend every waking moment making your spouse miserable on purpose, and that you cheat on him at every turn.  Why not give him a temporary boost by "filing for divorce" on Father's day?  That way he gets the euphoria of being rid of you, followed by the soul-crushing realization that it was only in his mind.  It's like castrating Walter Mitty!
(Note: if he decides carpe diem and leaves you the next day, don't come crying to me)
 
Bikini Anything Else:  It turns out that anything is better if you add "bikini" to it.  So just put one on, do something, then yell "Happy Father's Day!"  Trust me: it'll work, and he'll appreciate it a lot more than a new ratchet set or tie.  Don't own a bikini?  You can easily replace "Bikini" with either "Lingerie" or "Wet T-Shirt" and achieve exactly the same results!

Posted by: plebian at 06:43 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Let Europe sink

Europeans vote in Marxists and wonder why things turn to shit, then they vote in Fascists and wonder why things turn to shit, and then turn around and vote in more Marxist authoritarians.  If this is the future the Europeans want, I say let them have it, and we don't save them from themselves anymore, they'll either figure out that statism doesn't work or die trying.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 03:25 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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He's Taking This Well....

Posted by: eddiebear at 02:41 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Let's talk about myths bullshit

Gleen Gouldwald comments on myths (Warning: link goes to Gleen)

The single most transparent and damaging myth in American political discourse is also one of the most unquestioned: The Liberal Media.

Who told you about that myth, Gleen? Was it Rick Ellensburg? Or, maybe Thomas Ellers? Or was it a magical Brazilian unicorn, perhaps?

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:21 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I know, I know but if I had shame I wouldn't be me

I love Roland Emmerich. I do. And I can't wait for 2012.

Dude.  He figured out a way to blow up the whole world.  This is going to be so so perfectly awful.  Cannot.  Freaking.  Wait. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 12:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Why does this not surprise me?

Oh, right.  Because he's a douche.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:03 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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None of us will ever work in Bozeman

Not by our choice - because there's no way in hell Bozeman would ever hire any of us.

According to the city officials, employee applicants must sign a waiver giving the city permission to conduct an investigation into the person's background, which includes handing over social networking login credentials to city administrators.

The application form requests that prospective employees submit information on current personal or business Web sites, Web pages or memberships in chat rooms and social networking sites, including Facebook, Google, Yahoo, YouTube.com and MySpace, among others, according to a report on the Web site of CBS affiliate KZBK in Bozeman.

Posted by: Alice H at 08:42 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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The Real Civil War Analogy

Some people think that Obama is the new Lincoln.  Others think he's the second term of Jimmy Carter.  They're both wrong.
 
Barack Obama is serving the first term of George McClellan, Lincoln's do-nothing general who ran on the Democrat appeasement platform in 1864. 
 
The similarities don't stop at their party:  both were first-class politicians, both had persecution complexes, both blamed the previous administration for all their problems, both talked big but never particularly accomplished anything, and both sat on their hands when action is called for.
 
We don't specifically know whether McClellan would have intervened to save sailing ship manufacturers during the rise of steamboats, only to see them go bankrupt anyways.  But he probably would have.  Whether or not he would have also turned their management over to scurvy-ridden merchant seaman we can only guess.
 
And we can also only guess at whether or not McClellan would have pissed on his most ardent supporters and told them it's raining, but he did run as a pro-war candidate with an appeasement platform, on an appeasement ticket, with a peace advocate as a running mate.  The will of his party, at least, seemed clear on this issue.
 
Whether those who wished to continue the war would have slavishly followed McClellan after he signed away half the US to the Confederate States of America is unknown, but I like to think they'd have shown a little more sand than the gays, Jews, businessmen, and peace advocates who Obama has so far spurned as he enforces the DOMA, demonizes Israel, socializes the economy, and continues Bush policies in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Guantanamo.
 
The only real mystery is why Republican elites didn't flock to McClellan in 1864, pronouncing him a "man of great character" and "somebody we can do business with" despite obvious signs to the contrary.
 
They must have had some kind of commitment to principles or something back then.
 
How novel.

Posted by: plebian at 08:10 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I am posting this for the helpful advice on fitness

And not for the picture. Devon Aoki beefed up by carrying around a 30 pound gun.

See, that's TOTALLY helpful advice.  Totally.  I thought I'd be a caring giver and share.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch Sin City again. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 07:48 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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This Is Why We Have A "FAIL Britannia!" Tag

Thank you, Royal Mail, for this bit of levity.

Royal Mail chiefs wrote to Ken Ridge claiming that six-month-old Illy had attacked a postal worker.

Mail deliveries to the house could now be suspended as a result of the attack on the woman, he was told.

Mr Ridge, 65, who lives in Clapham, South London, with his 30-year-old son Bradley, said: 'We were not around when this happened, but it seems some mail was put through the letterbox and their hand was scratched.

'Illy is only a kitten and I am sure she was just playing.   

'Then we got a letter from the mail delivery office warning our deliveries could be stopped.'   

Signed by office manager Mayo Sonubi the letter said: 'I am writing to let you know that, on June 6, our postman was attacked by your animal in your premises while delivering mail to your address.

'Animal attacks are a major cause of injury to Royal Mail staff and so I am writing to seek your co-operation in preventing a repeat of this unfortunate incident.

'I must advise you that, if any further incidents of this nature are allowed to take place, I shall have no alternative other than to consider suspending the delivery of mail to your home.'  

Posted by: eddiebear at 04:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Oopsie

Iribnews.ir, the Iranian state-run news website, has been hacked. Front page hasn't been changed yet, but my guess is that it's coming shortly. 

Posted by: Alice H at 04:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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What he said

Some people say that Obama is right to take a hands-off approach to what's going on in Iran.  Ralph Peters disagrees.  So do I, but he does it better than me.  Seriously, just yelling "You fucking cowardly pussy!" over and over doesn't make for a good column.

Posted by: Sean M. at 03:58 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Sorry, it's got fast zombies

I'm starting to wonder if slow zombies are a thing of the past.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:35 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Another Reason To Support The Iranian People

Their women are so hot, even Jewstin and Rosetta want them. And they love to party.

The rest of the article was about Twitter and all that, but this bit is all that matters to me at this point.

But at night, and in private, the shawls were off. The same girls – with their brothers and cousins – joined me in underground raves, fuelled by smuggled alcohol and copious amounts of cannabis.

Here is an image from the article. Folks, this definitely is worth fighting for:

Marginally related, but this tweet is great.

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:21 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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High-definition coolness

Well, you can see the high-def coolness here, anyway, since the site doesn't allow embedding of the high-definition version. Here's the low-definition version, which I debated even bothering to embed since you really should go watch it in high-def glory. It's like wasting your time on the really cheap stuff instead of splurging on Val-U-Rite.

So if anyone feels like buying me one of these, I'd totally take it.

Posted by: Alice H at 12:35 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I Concede! The Democrats Are Indeed The Party Of The Hip And Teh Sexxy!

Especially after this guy reduced me to a puddle of weak kneed goo of desire.

 

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Now, watch this drive...

Aaaaaaand we hear criticism like this (no doubt repeated in a Michael Moore movie and throughout our impartial MSM) in 3...2...1...yeah.

Posted by: Sean M. at 06:04 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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