Closing Velocity

I wanted to give Cuffy's new project a plug, because I think it'll be a valuable tool to have when the issue of missile defense comes up.  Cuffy works for a contractor that works on development for our missile defense program, so he has a true insider perspective, be sure to keep Closing Velocity bookmarked.  I'll update the moronroll when I'm not feeling lazy and remember to update it.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Dead Snow trailer

Or, as IWatchStuff calls it, "Zombie Nazis Attacking a Mountain Cabin".

Is there some list of requirements for movie trailers now? I think the last trailer I watched also had some chick pulling her shirt off. And a giggle line at the end of the trailer. And every trailer either has the Hallelujah Chorus, O Fortuna, or Ode to Joy as its carnage music.

Posted by: Alice H at 12:45 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Helping the children in Illinois, Democrat-style

Via Malkin, we see this profile of Patricia Blagojevich,

“As a wife and mother, Patricia Blagojevich brings firsthand experience and personal commitment to her strong advocacy on behalf of the women and children of Illinois. As First Lady, she works hard to promote initiatives that will help the families of Illinois bring up happy, healthy, and successful children.”

Via Drew and the Eggman, covering the US Attorney press conference addressing the arrest of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D-ullard),

The government says he wanted a $50K kickback from the CEO of a children's hospital that received state money. When the kickback didn't show up, he tried to have the funding pulled from the hospital.

Classy guy.

When reached for comment, Governor Blagojevich simply stated that he was quote, "Shaking down a children's hospital, for the children."  Seriously dude, shaking down a children's hospital?  You sick fuck.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:39 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Lolterizt

This one especially hit my funnybone today.

More (and more and more, it's a long-ongoing series) by Harvey at IMAO.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:46 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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The Facecock Serves JUSTICE

Roddy's going away. 



I have a lot of contact in the engineering and construction industries in Illinois and it has been an open secret since his rise to power that you had to 'pay to play' in Illinois.

I guess Rezko sang like a canary.  Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Exit Question:  Is Illinois capable of electing a governor that doesn't end up in prison?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:59 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I've been a good girl and I deserve this

Want. Want. Want.

That would go perfectly with the Stormtrooper shoes. Hmm. I may have just found what to buy me for Christmas.

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Environmentalist FAIL

Polish environmentalists found several trees felled and stacked and a few more with notches cut in them.  In order to stop the raping of the earth, the Holy Seers of Gaia contacted the authorities in order to put a stop to the illegal logging operation.  Police arrived, and quickly found the culprit...a bunch of beavers building a dam.

A police spokesman said: "The campaigners are feeling pretty stupid. There's nothing more natural than a beaver."

Heh.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:37 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Bacon FAIL!

Yes, you read that right. Those two words are seldom paired here (or anywhere that I know of, for that matter) but it can happen...

British shoppers were left in the dark after the Food Standards Agency (FSA) failed to publish a list of pork, bacon and ham products that may be tainted with cancer-causing dioxins, even as it emerged that most of the suspect meat exported from the Republic of Ireland in the past three months — 4,462 tonnes — came to the UK.

The crisis over Irish pigmeat products has spread across the world and shelves were cleared yesterday of suspect produce in 21 countries, including China, Russia and Japan. Imports from the Republic are suspended.

In Ireland, amid warnings that 6,000 workers could be laid off, the incident has become a political row as a cull of 100,000 pigs was delayed by a row over compensation. In Britain, however, people were given no help to identify contaminated products that may be in their fridges or freezers. Instead, the food watchdog merely reiterated its advice that even though risks to human health were very low, consumers should not eat pigmeat produced either in the Republic or in Northern Ireland.

So, um, what exactly are they supposed to eat for breakfast? I mean, it's the most important meal of the day, and everyone knows that a balanced breakfast includes some kind of pork product.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:19 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Look on the bright side...

...we can probably look forward to four years of slap fights like this one.  Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Rowdy Roddy Douchebag

A facecocking that is well overdue.  Inspired by this almost unbelievable bullshit.

Hopefully our friends at Justice have gotten enough out of Rezko to put this motherfucker away for a few decades.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:27 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Real estate - or the law is an ass, edition 12,234,984

So apparently new stats are coming out that up to 58% of those whose mortgages are refi'd go into default within 8 months after the refi.

No explanation is given for the reason for the new defaults.  I'm assuming that's because the gentleman disclosing the stats was trying to be gentlemanly and not to point out the obvious reason.  When you give a loan to someone who cannot repay it, changing the terms probably still isn't going to help.

I've been meaning to subject y'all to this rant for awhile and between this and the news that the Governor of Chicago is trying to tell Bank of America how to lend, it seems like the perfect time. 
more...

Posted by: alexthechick at 01:41 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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All terrorists should be allowed to retain their dignity

At least as much as these guys.

Possibly the only thing more suiting their station in life would be to cover their faces with a pair of Excitable Andi's skidmarked underwear.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:19 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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As If Things Couldn't Get Any Worse In Africa

It appears as though the vanilla crop in Madagascar is under attack.

The scientists' initial assessment released Monday said the world's main vanilla exporter needs to radically change farming methods to fight the disease, carried by an underground fungus.

Most of Madagascar's vanilla is exported to the United States, where it is used in candy, soft drinks and ice cream.

"The situation is critical," Malagasy agronomic research chief Simeon Rakotomamonjy told The Associated Press. "The disease now affects 80 percent of plantations around Sambava and Andapa," two of Madagascar's three main centers of vanilla production.

Surveys in the more isolated Antalaha region so far reveal only a trace of the fungus.

Fungus spores attack a vanilla plant at the root, and a black rot spreads upward, often killing pods before they reach maturity. The disease is known for the moment only by its local name, bekorontsana, which means "falls to the ground often," said plant specialist Alain Paul Andrianaivo.

Researchers propose a wholesale replanting of disease-prone species with a vanilla hybrid that, laboratory tests suggest, is fungus-resistant.

If new plants are the answer, the government will have to help, said Charles Gabriel, a farmer in the affected region.

"For the moment I have not got the money to buy new plants," said Gabriel, who farms two fields he inherited from his parents. "I would also need to see that it works before I begin planting."

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:06 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Now is the time

To make it known to the GOP leadership that the Detroit bailout is unacceptable, and any RINO Senators who are looking for some media adoration by selling out need to be smacked back into line. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:36 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The Deciders Are Now Satire Come To Life

It appears as though they are indeed closer to begging for their own bailout, or at best a revival of a New Deal program to save their bacon.

The Federal Writers Project operated from 1935-1939 under the leadership of Henry Alsberg, a journalist and theater director. In addition to providing employment to more than 6,000 out-of-work reporters, photographers, editors, critics, writers, and creative craftsmen and -women, the FWP produced some lasting contributions to American history, culture, and literature...

...Today, there are many dislocated "old media" journalists from newspapers, radio, and television on the street--here I declare my personal interest, as one of them--who could provide a skilled pool to staff a new FWP. But since these journalists represent only a fraction of the larger displaced workforce, it is fair to ask what the public benefit would be of money spent.

This time, the FWP could begin by documenting the ground-level impact of the Great Recession; chronicling the transition to a green economy; or capturing the experiences of the thousands of immigrants who are changing the American complexion. Like the original FWP, the new version would focus in particular on those segments of society largely ignored by commercial and even public media. At the same time, the multimedia fruits of this research would be open-sourced to all media, as well as to academics. As an example, oral history as a discipline has made great strides in the past 70 years, and with the development of video techniques, the forum of the Internet could make these multi-media interviews widely available to schools and scholars, as well as to average Americans.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:22 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Get well soon, Bettie Page!

Bettie Page has had a heart attack and is in intensive care.

For those of you unfortunate enough to have no idea who Bettie Page is, a mildly NSFW picture is below the fold. 
more...

Posted by: Alice H at 10:47 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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"Mind If I Smoke?"

Well, maybe this lady should have thought this through a little more.

Thirty-two-year-old Honesty Knight was a passenger in a vehicle that Trooper Eric Perkins pulled over for a traffic violation early Friday. While the trooper was talking to the driver, Knight obtained the trooper's permission to smoke.

Police say Perkins then asked to see the cigarette, which contained marijuana, not tobacco.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:33 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Keep a better grip on that cigarette next time, citizen

The latest from the Nanny Fascists running Britain, a guy was fined Â£60 for having a cigarette knocked out of his hand when police were trying to apprehend two girls running out of a store.  The guy appealed and was threatened with a larger fine.  Here's how the council he appealed to responded,

Thanet council in Kent said it was happy with the way the incident in Margate had been dealt with.

'We take a zero tolerance approach to anyone who drops litter, including cigarette butts and chewing gum,' it said.

'No excuses will be accepted.'

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:32 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Hunh whaaa?

Maybe one of you morons who speaks more Spanish than I can come up with a different translation for 'Obama es un inmigrante'.



Via American Thinker, via Atlas Shrugged.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The Ultimate Definition Of Irony

Woman in charge of keeping out illegal aliens busted for hiring illegal aliens.

Lorraine Henderson, the Boston area port director for the Customs and Border Protection Division of the US Department of Homeland Security, was arrested at her home shortly before 8 a.m. after an eight-month undercover investigation during which a cleaner wore a wire.

Federal prosecutors said Henderson - who directs 190 armed officers who oversee ports of entry in Rhode Island and Connecticut as well as Massachusetts - became a target after she ignored a warning from a fellow employee that her regular cleaner was an illegal immigrant from Brazil.

"She's supposed to be deporting aliens, not hiring them," said Assistant US Attorney Brian T. Kelly, chief of the public corruption unit.

As Boston area port director, Henderson oversees the inspection and admission of foreign nationals at sites such as Logan International Airport, T.F. Green International Airport in Rhode Island, and Bradley International Airport in Connecticut. She can also grant or deny waivers to illegal immigrants seeking to enter the country.

US Attorney Michael J. Sullivan said in a statement that it was unconscionable for any Customs and Border Protection employee to be "violating the same immigration laws that they are charged with upholding."

Looking drained after spending six hours in custody, Henderson, 50, clad in a gray sweatshirt and blue jeans, briefly appeared before US Magistrate Judge Robert B. Collings yesterday in Boston on a charge of encouraging an illegal immigrant to stay in the United States.

She was released on a $25,000 unsecured bond after saying little in court and declining to talk to reporters. As is customary when federal defendants are charged through a criminal complaint, she did not enter a plea in her initial appearance.

Oscar Cruz, a federal defender, represented Henderson at the hearing, but she said she expected to hire a private attorney. Cruz did not address the substance of the charges at the hearing.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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