Once again, tomorrow's news tonight

BIDEN DESTROYS PALIN IN VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE!

Experts agree that he has spent 35 years in Washington and is, therefore, smarter. 

This all raises concerns about McCain's judgment. 

As Concerned Christians, I'm sure you'll all agree. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 10:03 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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and now it's time for something important

Oh look.  The Cubs lost.  You'll excuse me while I go buy a cat so I can kick it.

Update:  I was actually joking about the all shoes all the time thing but fuck it.  I had a bad day at work, I found out that I fucked up my taxes last year and will be sending the IRS a check for $700+ tomorrow and I got in a screaming fight with a good friend about her thinking Palin is evil.  And the Cubs got their asses handed to them. 

And then I found these.  (See below)  I am actually willing to pay the over $1,000 they cost.  And they don't come in my size.  I'm going to go make bacon to infuse in my vodka now.
more...

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:03 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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But can he walk on water?

Over here on the right side of the blogosphere, we make plenty of jokes about Barack Obama being Teh New Messiah, but for some people, it's apparently no laughing matter:

Barack Obama bore to me his testimony in 2004 at the Democratic National Convention, a testimony that included believing in concepts as simple and wholesome as the Constitution; a belief the current administration had done away with entirely. I was 17 and my antipathy for politicians was already in place before I had even reached the age to legally vote for one. He, though, seemed different. I was intrigued. I would follow him. I believed however, that my discipleship would lead me on a much longer path to political change than was true. He was much too young, not white enough, not rich enough, not jaded - the country certainly wasn't ready for this, maybe in 12 or 16 years he would be able to run in the Democratic primary, I thought.

My interest was piqued, but the dark time lived on until my faith in others was renewed on Jan. 4 in the Iowa state primary. Obama had beat out squeaky clean southern boy John Edwards and former first lady and next in the line of political succession Hillary Clinton. I was in shock. And then I came to Jesus/Obama.

That's from a column by one Maggie Mertens, published last month in Smith College's student newspaper, titled "'I Will Follow Him': Obama As My Personal Jesus." I. Shit. Thee. Not. These people have lost their friggin' minds.

Anyway, there's plenty more at the link, including this gem at the end:

I've officially been saved, and soon, whether they like it or not, the rest of the country will be too."

God help us.

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:24 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I'm voting Democrat

Pretty good,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 06:08 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Ifill's response

Gwen Ifill responds to questions over her objectivity.  Naturally, the race card is thrown,

Ifill questions why people assume that her book will be favorable toward Obama.

“Do you think they made the same assumptions about Lou Cannon (who is white) when he wrote his book about Reagan?” said Ifill, who is black. Asked if there were racial motives at play, she said, “I don’t know what it is. I find it curious.”

What an dishonest dodge, this isn't about race, no one brought up race. This is about ideology and political views, and whether someone writing a book partly about the "Age of Obama" can be objective.  We know Ifill is liberal, and have known for years.  Given how openly unobjective the media has been this election cycle, the fact that she's liberal and a journalist is enough to give us reason to question her objectivity.  That she's writing a book about Our Lord and Savior makes her doubly suspect.  Don't blame us, Gwen, blame your fellow journalists who can't help but abuse the public trust by rejecting objectivity and becoming Pravda USA for the Democrat Party.

Ifill also declares that Obama will only be a small part of her book...the book that is titled, The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama.  Age. of. Obama.

(H/T Veeshir)

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 06:04 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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The chickensssss...have come home...to roooooosssst!!!!

...for Sandra Bernhard, who was booted from her place as a keynote speaker for a Massachusetts women's shelter for telling a "joke" about Sarah Palin getting gang-raped.  And yes, I could probably turn that headline into a "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke, but I'm not going to, this moronblog is pitiful enough already.  Heh.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 04:16 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Dude Who Never Did Anything Stumping For Dude Who's Never Done Anything

Bill Clinton is stumping for Obama today, and it struck me just what a cakewalk Clinton's 8 years were. Nothing really happened during his Presidency. The cold war was freshly over, the tech boom happened, no major catastrophes took place. The biggest crises Bubba ever had to deal with was how to control his own cock. He had enough free time to dirty up blue dresses in the Oval Office AND find creative uses for cigars. He really didn't have shit to do.

Clinton was a Steward of the Presidency, at best.

Compare that to Bush's 8 years. The worst attack on U.S. soil in our history, the worst natural disaster(s) in U.S. history, Iraq, Afghanistan, the credit crisis, the rise of Emo, and the whole of the media on his ass 24/7. Say what you will about Bush, at least he's a President, as opposed to the substitute teacher Clinton failed at being for 8 years.

Clinton is the perfect guy to speak for Obama, two guys that have done nothing, and people love them for it. Clinton benefited from being in the right place, at the right time.

On the plus side, (or not) Obama will not have that luxury,

Posted by: bmac at 03:35 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Odds are very against us

Between the media's open advocacy for Obama and what now looks to be widespread fundraising fraud in the Obama campaign, a story that will be suppressed by the media ferociously, we're going to have a hell of a time competing. 

We can't withdraw though, which I see a lot of people wanting to do or doing...
more...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 03:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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DADL Warns Right-Wing Bloggers

The Douchebag Anti-Defamation League today sent letters to over a dozen prominent right-wing bloggers, demanding that they stop using the perjorative “douchebag” when referring to certain public persons, particularly Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. 
 
The move follows a report that such references have spiked 85% in the past three days, with the term "Congressional Douchebags" rocketing up 5,000%.
 
“We at DADL want to remind these people that douchebags serve an important function and do not at all deserve to be impugned by becoming equated with persons of low morals, intellect, or very often both, such as congressmen.  Women have had confidence in douchebags for decades as something they can count on, whereas no one of any intelligence would ever have any confidence in these nimrods, except for confidence that they can do the worst possible thing at the worst possible time.”
 
At least one blogger issued an apology, writing on his blog “I realize now that my hateful rhetoric has been wrong.  DADL has rightfully pointed out that douchebags serve a purpose, whereas people like Chris Dodd’s only purpose is to keep sunlight from reaching the ground.  And most things on the ground actually want to get sunlight.”
 
DADL suggested bloggers use one of the many existing insults already in circulation.  “It’s the only way to keep this from happening again,” they said in their e-mail.  â€œDon’t make us form another anti-defamation league!”

Posted by: plebian at 02:46 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Moron of the Day: Al Davis

It hurts because I picked the guy. I picked the wrong guy.

No, Al.  You are the wrong guy.  Raiders fans should get used to sucking until you realize that.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Udderly ridiculous

Good grief...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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What's Jimmy Carter up to now?

Why, urging Congress to pass the Paulson bailout plan, of course. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:40 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Kathleen Parker ignores the first rule of holes; UPDATE: Parker in 2003

The syndicated columnist continues to "David Brooks" herself. Her column asking Palin to get dumped from the ticket has had two results: lofty mentions in every MSM story on Gov. Palin since it was published and negative reaction from most conservatives.

If I were a conservative and something did was praised by the MSM and decried by most conservatives, I'd take time reevaluate my position. But I guess that's why I don't et paid the big syndicated column dollars:

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a traitor and an idiot. Also, my mother should have aborted me and left me in a dumpster, but since she didn't, I should "off" myself.

Those are a few nuggets randomly selected from thousands of e-mails written in response to my column suggesting that Sarah Palin is out of her league and should step down.

Who says public discourse hasn't deteriorated?

Hmmm....she does say there were conservatives who respectfully disagreed and offerered reasoned statements to try to change her mind. But since she chose to throw bombs with the few randomly selected emails we may never know the true ratio.

Of course, no...ahem...intelligent defense of a dumbass column would be complete without a cry of CENSORSHIP!!!11!!!eleventy!! and a declaration of sistahood with the poor, poor Dixie Chicks:

Readers have every right to reject my opinion. But when we decide that a person is a traitor and should die for having an opinion different from one's own, we cross into territory that puts all freedoms at risk. (I hear you, Dixie Chicks.)

I'm sure it is coincidence that, upon the Palin column's publication, a conservative organization canceled a speech I was scheduled to deliver in a few days. If I were as paranoid as the conspiracy theorists are, I might wonder whether I was being punished for speaking incorrectly.

Or, perhaps, this organization wanted people to show up to their event?  Maybe they acknowledged, as you in this column do, that most conservatives are very displeased with you right now?  Is it possible that they could have received emails an phone calls form their supporters asking them to cancel your appearance?  

Nah, that can't be it.  It's the vast, right-wing conspiracy out to get you. 

Update: Tim Graham at Newsbusters weighs in. 

Update II:  It turns out that Kathleen Parker did have some interesting words on the issue back in 2003 when celebrities were being featured in nearly every TV show, radio interview, newspaper, magazine, and online forum discussing how their anti-war views were being censored by the media (emphasis mine):

Whether one agrees or disagrees with the cancellations (I disagree for the same reason one ignores a showoff), one thing needs to be clear. That chill wind Robbins feels isn't coming from a censorious or conspiratorial White House - which is busy frying somewhat larger fish - but is the cool response of consumers enjoying a free market. Welcome, in other words, to the real world.

Just as Robbins and Sarandon (and I) have a right to speak as we please, a free marketplace provides that consumers have a right not to buy, or listen to, or otherwise subsidize products, ideas or people they find unappealing. It's called choice, which everyone seems to understand when they're doing the choosing.

So in 2003, Parker disagreed with cancelled appearances, but respected the rights of organizations to do so.  It seems her position has gotten a bit more nuanced. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 11:46 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Who Knew The Moron Lifestyle Could Be Dangerous?

Why am I not shocked to find out that "shops where people can watch movies in individual booths" are a big deal in Japan? But, I get the feeling the gentlemen at those stores need to be aware that patronizing such establishments can lead to bad things, with being found dead in such a place as one of the leading negatives.

The blaze broke out at around 3:00 a.m. in the video rental shop on the first floor of a seven-story building in downtown Osaka, an Osaka police spokesman said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.

The fire burned the ceiling and walls of the shop, the spokesman said. Authorities were investigating the cause of the fire.

Kyodo News agency said the 15 dead were male customers and that the cause of death was believed to be carbon monoxide poisoning.

Quoting fire department and hospital sources, Kyodo said 10 others were injured, four of them critically.

The video rental shop has 32 individual rooms, each equipped with a bed or a reclining chair, and a television that customers use to watch videos, including adults movies, cartoons and Hollywood films. Salaried men sometimes use the rooms as a cheap alternative to hotels after they miss the last train home.

Well, I guess hiding magazines in the one place your wife will never look (namely, the washing machine or BBQ Pit) is not S.O.P. in Japan.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:31 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Pane dei morti

Avoid the street vendor bread when visiting Naples, trust me. 

(h/t)

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:21 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Your "impartial" VP debate moderator

Non-partisan PBS (heh) reporter Gwen Ifill will be the moderator for the upcoming Veep debate.  She didn't look terribly pleased after Palin's convention speech:

(Via Michelle Malkin, who has a lot more.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:49 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Building a better bourbon

I talk a lot about Val-U-Rite vodka around here, but that's not my only interest. I also enjoy bourbon. Delicious bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors. What's that? You want me to...baconify you?

To make it, cook up 3-4 strips of bacon. Retain a fluid ounce or so of the rendered fat, letting it cool but not solidify. Discard of the bacon in the manner of your choosing (I’m sure you’ll think of something). Pour the fat and bourbon into a glass jar and let it sit to taste, a matter of hours if the bacon is strong enough.

Now you’ve got a very greasy looking jar of bourbon. To make it ungreasy, put it in the freezer over night. The fat will conveniently congeal for easy straining, and you can clean it up even further with a run through a coffee filter.

If all goes well, your bourbon will now taste and smell distinctively like your bacon.

And Allah (not the blogger, but the Deity) will be mightily displeased with you for having produced the most Haraam beverage this side of Mecca.

(thx, Veeshir)

Previously: Bacon-infused vodka.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:08 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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