I foresee rage from an internet group

"His phone number isn't listed" just sounds like a challenge.

Posted by: Alice H at 12:47 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Samuel Mothafuckin Jackson

Agent Bedhead has a career assessment.  Cuz it's never too early in the morning for profanity.

Posted by: Alice H at 08:34 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Scene from a 7-11 checkout

Q: What's worse than some hipster doofus in skin-tight low-rise girl jeans?

A: A fat hipster doofus in skin-tight low-rise girl jeans.

Seriously, man, know your limitations. The fact that your thighs are screaming in agony after the hour it takes to pry those motherfuckers off before bed is probably significant.

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:29 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Falling Down

This friggin' loon wanted some Chicken McNuggets, but was told that Mickey D's was on breakfast still,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:35 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Are you ready?

Primaries today.  A few more weeks and politics will be in full swing and with it, I assume, this blog.  After all, other than 1990, when has anything interesting happened during the summer?

Nope, autumn is the beginning of the busy season for human conflict.  Hope y'all got enough rest.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 07:53 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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RIP Sen. Ted Stevens

Killed in that plane crash, as I suspected. 

We didn't agree on a lot of things, but you did give us an awesome Internet meme, so I'll call it even.

Best wishes to his family. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 11:34 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Words to Live By

"Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you try and put it in the body of a Great White Shark suddenly you've gone to far."

And God forbid you put frickin’ laser beams on it’s frickin’ head.

Posted by: chad98036 at 10:53 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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What literal media?

I was just watching a report on a local newscast (I think it may have actually been from CBS News, since that's who the station is affiliated with, though it's not the actual CBS station in the area) on Defense Secretary Robert Gates' proposal to cut defense spending (link goes to LAT, not the teevee news report I'm talking about), and they had bullet points to illustrate several of his proposals, each of which had a short video clip to accompany it.

One of the things Gates is proposing to cut is "military brass," and they used a clip of...a Marine Corps marching band.

Yes, I think someone who put the video part of the report together thinks that "military brass" = brass bands. Dumbass.

Update: Yup, it's a CBS News video.  I can't figure out a way to embed it, but you can see it here. The part I'm talking about is at about 0:35 into the clip.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:53 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
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Dear Bob Inglis

Fuck you! Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you with the fuckflame of failure for your recent actions. Fuck you for being a whiny bitch. Fuck you for being a sore loser. And fuck you for refusing to see that we will not tolerate your fucking bullshit any fucking more.

You want to complain that your party voting you out for siding with Obama? Well, fuck you, pal. I will not allow my daughter's future to be compromised by people such as you siding with those who wish to render us a third world shithole. And you better fucking guarantee I will support throwing your ass and any other fuckjiggler who thinks bipartisanship, especially since Obama has shown none to us, is the way to go. And I really will not tolerate losers then whining to the media when they lose their own party.

So fuck you, Bob Inglis. Fuck all the RINOs. And fuck anybody who wants to constantly spit in the eyes of their own party. Get fucked. and go to ratings hell (MSNBC) along the way.

Posted by: eddiebear at 03:49 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Brett Favre: Classy

While the story itself is mildly interesting, I'm really just using it as an excuse to throw up another picture of my current dream girl, Jenn Sterger. 



Note that her last name spelled backwards is "Regrets" of which, sadly, I am not one.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:46 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Major daily newspapers are going broke for some reason

Seriously, Karl Rove must be secretly paying MFM people to write this kind of column. That's the only sane explanation.

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Dear Hollywood

Fuck you for ruining another memory of my childhood and wanting to charge more because this flaming fuckpile of fucking fuckwaste is in three fucking d. Fuck you for taking one of the greatest works of all time and fucking it raw worse than a $.30 crack whore needing to pay back her pimp. Fuck you for having no fucking original ideas, save slapping a sequel together. And fuck you just because you make one of the things I truly enjoy, going to a movie theater and eating that trash bag sized popcorn and soda combo, so unappealing because of the shitfisting you put on the fucking screen.

And don't even fucking think of touching "Where The Sidewalk Ends" or "The Giving Tree". Just sayin'.

So fuck off, Hollywood. Fuck your shitty shitfuckiness with the furious fuckhammer of fuckingly fuckfuddled fury for fucking with my free time options.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:15 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I have no comment on this

from @colocelt's Facechimp.

Posted by: Alice H at 09:22 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Connections – Death in the Morning

Continuing with the weekly posting of the British TV series "Connections". A documentary series by historian James Burke, "Connections" attempted to explain how various historical events and personalities led to discoveries that built off each other to bring about the modern world. Since the series originally ran in 1978 some of the material is a little dated but it is still one of the most interesting programs to have been aired on TV in my opinion. Fortunately James Burke has placed the entire series on YouTube (as well as the two follow on series).

Episode Two: "Death in the Morning" examines the standardization of precious metal with the touchstone in the ancient world. This innovation stimulated trade from Greece to Persia, ultimately causing the construction of a huge commercial center and library at Alexandria which included Ptolemy’s star tables. This wealth of astronomical knowledge aided navigators 14 centuries later after the development of lateen sails and sternpost rudders. Mariners discovered that the compass's magnetized needle did not actually point directly north. Investigations into the nature of magnetism by Gilbert led to the discovery of electricity by way of the sulphur ball of von Guericke. Further interest in atmospheric electricity at the Ben Nevisweather station led to Wilson’s cloud chamber which in turn allowed development of both Watson-Watt's radar and (by way of Rutherford's insights) nuclear weaponry.

I am only embedding the first portion of each episode the entire playlist for the episode is here.

The complete series is available from Amazon

Posted by: chad98036 at 08:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ezra Klein: What anti-business environment?

Seriously?

How about totally boning the automaker bond holders to save the UAW?  Or the abortion that is the Chevy Volt? Or Obamacare, the first symptoms of which are the cumulative multi-billion dollar corporate write-downs?  Or FinReg, which will have repercussions for credit availability for small business startups?  Or the "U.S. Manufacturing Enhancement Act of 2010" (née "Miscellaneous Tariff Bill")  Those are just a few things that come to mind.

Ezra Klein is so off track he's beyond just being wrong.  This is a "Baghdad Bob" level of denial.

Posted by: JoeCollins at 07:06 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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In polite company, we'd be siccing Chris Matthews on anyone who was sticking their hands into the pockets of a 7-year-old girl

Unfortunately, Chris Matthews doesn't seem to travel to Oregon much.  This is tough for the kid it's happening to, but hopefully it's a lesson she'll teach every kid when she goes back to elementary school in a couple of weeks. 

The girl worked on a sign, coloring in the letters and decorating it with a drawing of a person saying "Yummy." She made a list of supplies.

Then, with gallons of bottled water and packets of Kool-Aid,  they drove up last Thursday with a friend and her daughter. They loaded a wheelbarrow that Julie steered to the corner of Northeast 26th and Alberta and settled into a space between a painter and a couple who sold handmade bags and kids' clothing.

Even before her daughter had finished making the first batch of lemonade, a man walked up to buy a 50-cent cup.

"They wanted to support a little 7-year-old to earn a little extra summer loot," she said. "People know what's going on."

Even so, Julie was careful about making the lemonade, cleaning her hands with hand sanitizer, using a scoop for the bagged ice and keeping everything covered when it wasn't in use, Fife said.

After 20 minutes, a "lady with a clipboard" came over and asked for their license. When Fife explained they didn't have one, the woman told them they would need to leave or possibly face a $500 fine.

Children should learn at an early age that the government will stick its greedy fingers into your pockets every chance it gets, and that the government is going to do its best to overwhelm your startup with fees that make it impossible to get a toehold.

Posted by: Alice H at 02:19 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Frank Rich: Campaign Genius

Look, I know that the MFM is going full bore to try to save the Democrat Party's skin this year, in the hopes of blunting losses, but if this is the best they can do, they are in big trouble.

I recall in 2006 the last gasps of the GOP's campaign was to say that "Speaker Pelosi" and "Leader Reid" would allow people such as Barney Frank, Chuck Rangel and Chuck Schumer run wild, and the public didn't care. Now that the shoe (apparently) is on the other foot, watching the MFM (who helped the Democrats win in 2006 by conveniently ignoring to report who the soon to be leaders really were like) thrash around is fucking hilarious.

Stick to food and theater, Frank.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:38 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Presented without context

...a staff member stapled his penis to a chair leg, beat him with a soap in a sock, tried to sodomise him and stubbed out cigarettes on his skin. Others said they were sexually abused or locked inside the room for days without a toilet - the smell of urine was overpowering.

Well, nobody ever said that a stay in a Turkish prison was exactly a walk in the park, now did they?

Wait, where was this again?

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Sarah...what were you thinking?

You agreed to take Kate Gosselin, who is like the world's greatest spoiled megabitch Philly trash into the friggin' woods camping?  What'd you think was gonna happen?  Unless this was a clever plot to try and have Kate get eaten by a grizzly bear...

Random,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:37 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Wit

I've been told that The Atlantic was once a prominent magazine, full of thought-provoking articles and home to smart essayists.

And then, they hired Andrew Sullivan.

Excitable Andi is apparently setting the tone over there, seeing as how Jeffrey Goldberg seems comfortable writing dreck like this on their website:

It seems likely that Conde Nast, the publisher of such magazines as The New Yorker, GQ and Vanity Fair, will be moving into the office tower currently being built on the site of the destroyed Twin Towers. This news is a terrible affront to all patriotic and freedom-loving Americans, and an insult to the memories of those murdered on September 11th, 2001. It is hard to believe that Mayor Michael Bloomberg would allow this company to despoil such a holy place.

Why is this an insult to the victims of 9/11? The answer, I think, is obvious. Among the titles published by Conde Nast is the fashion magazine Vogue. Vogue publishes an Italian edition. Italy, of course, was the incubator of fascism. The terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center were Islamofascists. I think the connection is clear.

There's more har-de-har-har, you stupid, racist wingnuts stuff at the link, but I wouldn't bother if I were you.

If this is what passes for being "clever" in this day and age, I'll stick to sitting at home, swilling Val-U-Rite vodka out of a plastic jug and won't despair too much over the fact that the Smart Set never invites me to their cocktail parties.

Posted by: Sean M. at 10:59 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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