October 02, 2008
Thanks to the conservative movement coming apart at the seams over the bailout bill/coming zombie apocalypse, we have a lot of new readers here at DPUD. I know it can get confusing telling who’s who, what with a cast of thousands of cobloggers, not to mention frequent commenters with names that sound like porn stars.
So I’ve put together this handy guide to who’s who at DPUD. Hey, I don’t just write fake news stories; I’m all about helpfulness. That, and gratuitous nudity.
Click below the fold to see a brief bio of our menagerie here at DPUD.
Lifelong dream: To make money off of his blog.
Likes: Long walks on the beach, but not in the Soviet of California, which he hopes burns in hell forever.
Favorite suffix: “tard”, as in “libtard”
It’s Vintage, Duh
Life’s Ambition: To get his Iron Butterfly tribute band booked at Carnegie Hall. Or anywhere. For more information, contact him at InnagoddadaVinty@gmail.com.
Biggest Fear: That it’s not really Vintage.
Likes: Rambling diatribes that tell it like it is, sunshine and puppy calendars.
Dislikes: The pope, who is awfully permissive for his tastes.
Favorite Movie: My Little Pony, Volume 2
Favorite Book: The Communist Manifesto, because it's small enough to carry when you backpack but has enough pages to start a really good fire with.
Secret Shame: Eats Whoppers every single lunch.
Little-Known Fact: B Mac is one of only thirty non-Microsoft employees who think Windows Vista is better than Windows XP.
Pet Peeve: Ungentlemanly men.
Little-known-fact: Every year, Conservative Belle makes a pilgrimage to Illinois to spit on William Tecumseh Sherman’s grave.
Life Aspiration: To be known as “the blogger formerly known as Sean M.”
Most people don’t realize this, but he first broke into blogging as Eddie Bare over at nothingbutbuns.hot.com. He was “butt with powdered sugar all over it” but eventually lost his job when they realized that rather than powdered sugar, it was just natural pastiness.
Fetish: Orange crocs, which actually led to a fistfight between him and alexthechick at the DPUD Christmas party one year.
Special Mention: Eddie is the second-most plain-vanilla member of the DPUD crew.
Little known fact: Plebian makes Eddie Bear look like Sean M.
Secret Shame: Got fired as the Hoodunk Township Flat Animal Scraper due to “improbable and unlawful carnal knowledge of a disgusting and immoral nature” and allegations of missing carcasses that may or may not have ended up in his wife’s Delicatessen.
Greatest Hope: That nobody she knows ever reads anything she posts.
Conspiracy Theory: Many people believe that alexthechick and Sean M. are actually the same person, and the playful banter between them is a ruse to throw off suspicion.
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