doubleplusundead

October 30, 2008

Tripe, Leather Pants, and Me

I received another begging e-mail from the Psychology dorks today, once again pleading with me to post to their survey. Once again, I will not, despite the kindly-worded note from Benjamin. Mostly it's because last time the note was addressed to "Editor of Daily Dollop." This time?

It was addressed simply "Plebian." Since when were we on a first-name basis?

So instead of that, I give you this: a rant against leather pants. That's right, I don't care who's toes I step on.

I feel very strongly that wearing leather pants is a moral issue, and that the practice should not only be frowned upon but should be made illegal.

I'm not speaking of the moral implications of using cowhide to make leather. Cows are both stupid and tasty, so I don't have any problem turning their hide into a wide variety of useful products, from thigh-high dominatrix boots to sexy bustiers.

But leather pants is just one step too far.

When you wear leather pants, you're making one of the following statements:

1) "I wanted to wear something which not only made my ass look bigger, but makes it look as if it's trying to escape." Leather pants do not flatter your figure, people. Oh, perhaps one in a thousand people can wear them, but nobody else can. But one in a thousand people can pick their nose with their feet, too, and I don't see anybody pretending that's acceptable.

2) "I'm too chickenshit to wear a short skirt like the rest of the tramps, but still just as much of a skank." I fully support a woman's right to decide to be a skank, but let's stop fooling ourselves that leather pants are some kind of acceptable way to tart yourself up. Just go for the too-short skirt and the fishnet stockings and stop pretending.

3) "I love the squeaking that my thighs make when I walk!" Because nothing says "hot" like audible reminders of balloon sex.

4) "I am a man with poor fashion sense." If you're a man, and you simply must wear leather on your legs, for heaven's sakes, wear chaps. They're fun, they're classic, and they're unique.

Plus, you'll like a member of the Village People, and women dig that.

Posted by: plebian at 05:48 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 381 words, total size 2 kb.

OT: can someone point me in the direction of a site that has percentages of voters registered (by population) by state?

I ask because, apparently, NH has 90% of its eligible voters registered as of today (with more to come on Tuesday, I imagine) and I'm curious as to whether that's in line with the reality of past elections/states.

Thanks!

Posted by: ECM at October 30, 2008 06:04 PM (q3V+C)

The 2004 election data is here, if you tease the data enough. Nationally the average is 72%, so 90% sounds quite high.

I guesstimate that in 2004 NH probably had 81% registered based on their voter turnout (72%) and the usual percentage of likely voters who vote (88%).

YMMV.

Posted by: plebian at October 30, 2008 06:16 PM (sfcEj)

3 Hahahahaaa...lemme guess, you saw some seriously awful muffintop walking down the street, and the seams of said leather pants were creaking like the Titanic before it broke in two?

And ECM, no idea. I know NH has high voter registration, but 90% seems awful high.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at October 30, 2008 06:18 PM (1xqu1)

4 OK, so yeah, after digging some more and consulting the data linked by plebian (thank you!) it seems that this is way out of whack. I mean, 90% of the voter-eligible pop is already registered and it's not even election day...wtf?!

Posted by: ECM at October 30, 2008 06:22 PM (q3V+C)

5 So, does this mean that a Diana Rigg-style leather catsuit would be frowned upon by the fine folks at ++undead? 'Cause I'm totally going to get one if I ever find one in my size (extra-small), and if it would offend your tender gazes, I'll be sure not to send you any pictures.

(Do any of you guys know what I look like? I occasionally post pics, but always take them down within 24 hours so as to minimize creepy people hanging around my blog. Creepier than are already there, I mean.)

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at October 30, 2008 07:22 PM (8CGjC)

6 I have no idea what you look like, but I do dig your choice of reading material (you should probably toss The Rise Fall of the Roman Empire in there at some point, though that'd likely eat up two years of your life right there).

Posted by: ECM at October 30, 2008 07:56 PM (q3V+C)

7 Oh, Gibbon is definitely in there. It will be a long time before I get that far, though. Could be a decade. I don't know how much time I'll spend in ancient Greece & Rome.

I can put up a cheesecake shot (short skirt, high-heeled boots) by special request, but it'll be up only about 12 hours.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at October 30, 2008 08:03 PM (8CGjC)

8 I like cheesecake

Posted by: ECM at October 30, 2008 08:23 PM (q3V+C)

9 added to my about page (bottom of the right sidebar). I'm taking it down before I go to bed, though. (if I remember.) So be quick.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at October 30, 2008 08:33 PM (8CGjC)

10 That is a fab outfit.

Posted by: alexthechick at October 30, 2008 09:09 PM (zXJGz)

11 Thanks. I love those boots. I also have some great hooker shoes (red & strappy with high heels) that I am saving for some future date...I've had them for a while, but my ex-boyfriend just didn't happen to take me out somewhere I could wear them. (They go with my red leather jacket that I got in Florence.)

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at October 30, 2008 09:26 PM (8CGjC)

Ahhhh, to be 20 years younger, single, and classy. Not that I ever put those three all together in my life.

Someone will be lucky enough to land Mrs. Peel. It probably won't be a moron though