May 29, 2009

Time For A Nucrear Confrict

Before I start, does anyone else get momentarily giddy when they read this headline?

N. Korea Defiantly Fires 6th Missile, Slams U.N.

Turns out the missile didn't hit the U.N. but landed in the ocean or something.  Lame.

Anyway, I just wanted to touch on how the Chamberlain Administration is responding to this rapidly deteriorating situation:

With tensions high on the Korean peninsula, Chinese fishing boats left the region, possibly to avoid any maritime skirmishes between the two Koreas. But U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said the situation was not a crisis and no additional U.S. troops would be sent to the region.

Oh, well never fucking mind then.  For some reason I was under the absurd impression that North Korea was consistently threatening war with the South while simultaneously making aggressive military moves and detonating nuclear weapons.  Where would a moron like me get that stupid idea?

"If the U.N. Security Council makes a further provocation, it will be inevitable for us to take further self-defense measures," the North's Foreign Ministry said in a statement carried by the official Korean Central News Agency.

Oh yeah.  Well, in my infinite stupidity I must be misreading that.  Certainly the North Koreans would never defy their 60 year armistice with South Korea:

On Wednesday, South Korean media reported that North Korea may be starting up its nuclear plant at Yongbyon, a site that was in the plutonium production business before the country agreed to shut down operations during the Bush administration.

In response, officials in Seoul, South Korea, announced they are joining the U.S.-led Proliferation Security Initiative (PSI) organized under U.N. Resolution 1718. 

North Korea called that move a declaration of war, and the country's Central News Agency reported the regime no longer considers itself bound by the 1953 armistice. It also accused the United States, a signatory of the armistice, of "dragging" the South into the program through its "hostile policy" toward the North.

:-|

What was it that Teddy Roosevelt famously said about diplomacy?  I believe it was, "Speak Softly and Shove A Stick Up Your Ass," or something to that effect.  Well, Obama is the living end when it comes to speaking softly and Hillary definitely has something in her colon so I think we're in good shape.

...   Or fucked.  Yeah, that's it.  We're totally fucked.

See, if I were North Korea I'd invade South Korea in the next few weeks.  I'd do it because I'm pretty sure I'd get away with it.  The United States would do literally nothing because we have the most useless executive to ever lead this country.  Also, the mere act of invasion would destroy the global economy in one day.  China would either do nothing or attempt to control the situation but either way I figure they'd start putting their money somewhere other than our debt. 

Sure, 35,000 American troops would be in the way of 1,000,000 Nork soldiers but does anyone really think the One would commit the necessary military assets to the peninsula to actually defeat them?  Would Japan?  Would China?  With the threat of having one or more of their cities annihilated by nuclear fire?  I don't know. 

I do know that the objective North Korea seeks would be accomplished.  They'd prove that they had the power to control events.  The world would be forced to give in to their demands. 

But, of course, they aren't going to do anything.  They're just bluffing.  Ask Bob Gates. 

I think Gates is wrong.  Like Japan after the Rape of Nanking and America's subsequent oil embargo, they have very little to lose by an aggressive posture.  If the U.N. installs a strict sanction regime against them (which seems more likely than it usually is) they will literally be starving and out of fuel.  The scary thing is they had to know this would be the global response to their actions and they did it anyway. 

So, either they are using all this crazy shit as a bargaining chip to get what they already have* or they seriously intend to extract ransom in exchange for the survival of South Korea and the global economy. 

And North Korea invading the South under the umbrella of nuclear protection isn't even the worst part!  The worst part is that as soon as North Korea crosses the line all the other little assholes in the world are going to cross their lines too because it will be impossible for the U.S. to deal with something of that scale and put out fires all over the rest of the planet. 

This is what we get when we put a 4 year old girl in charge.  We get fucked.  

: - | 

* - Free oil and food from the rest of the world.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:47 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 801 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Gotta love all the engrish used on this blog lately on NorK stories.

Posted by: Sockless Joe at May 29, 2009 10:00 AM (8JMx6)

2 For some reason I was under the absurd impression that North Korea was consistently threatening war with the South

Yeah, I was under the impression that the NorKs were, you know, *at war* with the South, what with repudiating the agreement and talking about how they were at war and all.


Posted by: alexthechick at May 29, 2009 10:02 AM (SHHaV)

3 I say we give South Korea and Japan about 10 nukes each. The good ones too, not those pussy ones Kim's playing with. Then tell him that if he wants Seoul he can come and take it.

Posted by: Jeff_McAwesome at May 29, 2009 10:16 AM (iDq+K)

4 <i>This is what we get when we put a 4 year old girl in charge.  We get fucked.</i>

I'm sure the UN is working on some kind of global Megan's Law.

(With exceptions for countries where sex with children is a "cultural" thing, of course.)

Posted by: Sean M. at May 29, 2009 10:31 AM (rLWHv)

5 I hope the Obamabots can yank their heads out of their third points of contact on this; I have a brother at Osan Air Force Base.

Posted by: Dave at May 29, 2009 02:20 PM (ttKrG)

6

A four year old? Really? Aren't you overestimating to a rather large degree the testosterone component of O'?

...now Michelle ...yeah, I'd probably have to reverse that estimate entirely.

Posted by: davis,br at May 29, 2009 02:52 PM (0rRmD)

7 Who is the Bob Gates you speak of... The Messiah said it was Bill gates last week - and he is never wrong.

Posted by: cobbfan221 at May 29, 2009 08:58 PM (WYYk4)

8 Uh, stupid question time, maybe I'm remembering my history wrong...but did we ever actually cease to be at war with Korea?  or was that Vietnam?

Posted by: Alice H at May 29, 2009 09:52 PM (qJHYy)

9 Nope, Alice, you're not wrong.  We signed a ceasefire agreement, not a peace treaty.

Posted by: Sean M. at May 29, 2009 11:49 PM (rLWHv)

Hide Comments | Add Comment






25kb generated in 0.0449 seconds; 68 queries returned 168 records.
Powered by Minx 1.1.4-pink.