Stand And Delivuh, Suh!

Due to my immeasurable respect for the man and in the interest of right-blog camaraderie,  I will attempt to take the following assault on my honor as a demonstration of good-willed ignorance on the part of Robert Stacy McCain.  Surely a man as esteemed and well-traveled as he would never lower himself to bigoted ravings about an entire region when he has spent so much time dispelling vile accusations about the South and its residents.

Are all Wisconsinians acromegalic blog whores? If I ridicule Troglopundit's shameless blogwhoring by posting a funny picture of a cute woodland creature, does that mean that I'm prejudiced against Wisconsinians? (Wisconsinites? Wisconsinistas? What the heck kind of morons would name their state "Wisconsin" anyhow? No wonder the Packers suck and the Badger defense gives up 25 points a game. BTW, what kind of morons would name their football team "Badgers"?)

Well, regardless of anything I've said here, I cannot be accused of hating every resident of Wisconsin merely because of one lame joke at the expense of a blogger who is to Milwaukee what Godzilla was to Tokyo.

To make such an absurd assertion would be even more stupid than the average UW-Madison coed. It would be as stupid as that liberal idiot at Sadly No claiming that Tammy Bruce is a racist. And surely the freakishly tall Troglopundit is not that stupid. Maybe Sean Hackbarth but . . .

At any rate, the assertion that Wisconsin produces only stupid bloggers is perhaps prejudicial, as is the claim that there are no sexy women bloggers in Wisconsin.

Just because I haven't seen any Wisconsin women bloggers posting sexy pictures of themselves cannot be considered proof that all women bloggers in Wisconsin are fat, hairy, buck-toothed and cross-eyed, no matter what Minnesota's Ed Morrissey says about them.

First, we are known as "Wisconsinites."  While not the most eloquent term for a group of staters, you must admit its superiority to "Illini" or the truly awful "Michigander."   I'll also note that Georgian, while quick off the tongue is simply a reference to a villain and tyrant.  Wisconsinite has no such negative connotation. 

Second, our team is named the Badgers because they are the vicious, independent state animal of the great state of Wisconsin.  We would have gone for something different but sadly, all names referencing  an unfortunate symptom of the female conditions were taken. 

Also, I find it telling that when one enters the term "Alabama" into Bing the first item suggested is "football."  Shockingly, scholastic excellence is nowhere to be found. 

I am sadly in no position to take issue with your assertion that all Wisconsin bloggers are stupid as my self-chosen nom de plume would tend toward invalidating any argument I made.  Similarly, I find it unlikely that any bikini pictures I could offer would sway you toward a belief that Wisconsin is filled with Rule 5 poster women. 

Still, you have besmirched my and my state's honor and I demand satisfaction.  In lieu of pistols at dawn, I will accept a blog entry titled simply, "Wisconsin Is Great" with whatever apology you feel is warranted in the body.

I anticipate your rapid and thorough action on this matter.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:35 AM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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