May 24, 2008

more fun with republican party surveys

Yeah, I can't help but be a smartass when these come up.  And there's a new one...I'm gonna have some fun.

Political Profile

1. Do you identify yourself as a:

a. Conservative Republican
b. Moderate Republican
c. Liberal Republican
d. Independent Voter who leans Republican
e. Disaffected Conservative Republican who is very close to being a Conservative Independent

2. Do you traditionally vote in all elections

a. Yes
b. No

3. Did you cast a vote in the following elections (Yes, No or Unsure were the choices for each)

a. 2004 Presidential Contest 
b. 2006 Mid-Term Election  X

4. What age category applies to you

a. 18-29
b. 30-44
c. 45-59
d. 60+

5. How close do you think your views are to others in your community

a. Very Close
b. Not Very Close
c. Somewhat Close
d. No Opinion

6. From what media sources do you regularly receive your political news (You can choose more than one)

b. Internet Blogs
c. Friends
d. Fox News
e. Local Newspaper
f. News Websites
h. Radio
i. Other__________
j. National Magazines
k. Candidate Websites

General Issues

1. Do you think things are generally going in the right direction in this country or do you think things have gotten off on the wrong track.

a. Right Track
b. Wrong Track 
X   Gotten?  Try been.
c. No opinion

2. Please indicate the top 3 issues that you believe are most important to the people in your area

a. War in Iraq
b. Energy
c. Federal Spending
d. War on Terror 
e. Health Care
f. Foreign Affairs
g. Taxes
h. Economy 
i. Social Security   X  Lot of old people in PA, it can't be helped
j. Immigration
k. Environment
l. Protecting Traditional Values
X  I'm assuming Second Amendment is part of this.
m. Strong Military
n. Other__________

3. Which political party do you think is best able to handle each of the following issues (Republican, Democratic or Undecided or Neither are the choices for each)

a. War in Iraq
b. War on Terror  Republicans
c. Taxes 
Republicans.  Except McCain, he can suck it for screwing up the Bush tax cuts.
d. Health Care 
Republicans, barely and in spite of themselves.  I'm looking at you Bush, Mr. gigantic prescription drug plan to buy old people votes that failed miserably!
e. Federal Spending
Neither, they both suck the barbed cock of Satan equally on spending
f. Social Security 
Neither, because the GOP is too pussy to even try to partially privatize, offer an opt-out or reform Social Security
g. National Defense
Republicans, in spite of their refusal to make efforts to step up immigration enforcement and border security, despite the fact that part of the reason the 9/11 hijackers were able to succeed was because they could violate immigration law with impunity
h. Foreign Policy 
i. Environment  Neither, because both are pimping retarded "green" money sinks like ethanol and fucking windmills that just end up costing people a mint.  We should be building nuclear reactors and deregulating to free up businesses to invest in modernizing and becoming more efficient
j. Economy  Neither, neither party knows what the fuck it's doing with regards to the economy
k. Immigration 
Neither, and don't even get me started
l. Energy 
Neither, build the nuclear reactors already, Goddammit!
m. Education 
Neither, because they're both the same, the GOP let Ted Kennedy write their biggest legislation
n. Protecting Traditional Values 
Neither, with the possible exception of gun rights for the GOP, but that's because gunowners and Second Amendment advocates do the smart thing and don't compromise their values, even the Democrats are half scared to step to them now for fear of having their asses handed to them during the next election cycle.

4. How much does it concern you that the Democrats will have total control of the federal government if they win the White House and keep control of Congress in 2008

a. Very much
b. Not too much
Really, at this stage, I'm almost beyond caring, if we're going down the Marxist path, let it come in one swift blow than by a thousand small, agonizing cuts.
c. Not a concern
d. Undecided

Domestic Issues

1. How confident do you feel that America's economy will improve in the next six months

a. Strongly confident
b. Not too confident
c. Somewhat confident
Who knows, anything can happen in the short term, the market has good times and bad, I'm more worried about the incompetence of the federal government finally getting the better of our economy in the long term.  The American economy is a truly wondrous thing,  amazingly powerful in spite of everything the government has done to drain it of its strength through irresponsible governing, acting as a malevolent parasite or actively trying to destroy it.
e. Not confident at all
f. No opinion

2. Which of the following factors do you feel is most adversely effecting the economy in your area

a. Burdensome Taxes
b. Severe Government Regulation 

c. Unstable Real Estate Market
d. Growth of Government Spending
e. Threat of Terrorism
f. Unpredictable Fluctuating Fuel Prices
g. Other 
PA, typical Rust Belt state, too unionized, too regulated, too taxed.

3. Which of the following is the single most important economic issue facing you and your family

a. Health Care Costs
b. Price of Fuel
c. Inflation / Rising Prices Overall
d. High Taxes
e. Other__________
The coming bankruptcy of the US because of mindless spending, regulations and socialist policies by our government and our leaders.

4. Would you like Congress to pass additional tax cuts to further stimulate our nations economy

a. Yes
and I'd like that effort to not be sabotaged by people theoretically on our own side
b. No
c. Undecided

5. Are you comfortable with our current level of government spending

a. Current spending levels are OK
b. Spending should be decreased 

c. Undecided
d. Fuck no, decrease spending now, dumbasses!

6. Do you think all Americans should have some form of health insurance even if it requires the federal government to underwrite some of the costs

a. Yes
b. No
c. Undecided
d.  Free up the market, lower taxes and reduce regulation, welcome immigrants with medical backgrounds, and let charities do the rest.  Liberals should be first in line to start building and donating to those charitable trusts for the uninsured, since they care so much.

Is this a loaded question?  Sounds to me like it.  Yes meaning go along with a socialized medicine plan, but try and make it more of a squishy Romneycare thing as opposed to a Stalinist Hillarycare plan.  No means he's a meeeean ol' wingnut who wants children to go without care and die in the streets.  Undecided means hurrrr, I'ma go lick this window now. 

7. How do you think Congress should best address the looming Social Security crisis

a. Raise the retirement age for today's workers
b. Eliminate the current Social Security tax cap
c. Offer younger workers the option to put part of their Social Security tax into a personal account
d. Other__________ 
Privatize the whole fucking mess.

8. Do you believe global warming is an issue that must be dealt with immediately

a. Yes
b. No
c. Undecided
d. Global warming is a lie put together by Marxists, luddites and envirowhackos to convince Americans to reduce their expectations for American success, and to impose more fascist controls on our economy, and should be dismissed out of hand, unless it works as a handy excuse to build more nuclear reactors and upgrade our energy grid.

9. How much of an impact is the rising cost of fuel, caused by our government's refusal to allow more refining capacity, drilling and exploration having on you and your family

a. Major Impact
b. Medium Impact
c. Minimal Impact

10. Using the number 1 thru 5 (with 1 being the highest priority) please indicate the policies you support most to address how the US should meet future energy needs

a. Increase drilling in Alaska's ANWR 
Fuck your one to five system, this one goes to 11
b. Greater investment in Wind/Solar power
Since I've already thrown out their system, fucking zero
c. More funds for alternative energy research Joe in comments made a good point, we ought to be researching alternative energy, just none of the half-baked hippie crap, we want fucking fusion!  And with that, I humbly replace my Zero with an 11, but on the condition it all goes to fusion research or something that might actually work, not hippie windmills and solar panels, unless they're on a space based energy collection station or something badass like that...

d. Tap previously unrecoverable oil
e. Build new oil refineries in the US 
f. Build new nuclear plants in the US
g. Other__________

11. Do you believe that congress must reform the current parctice of earmarking or "pork barrel spending" that adds billions of dollars to appropriations bills

a. Yes  
If by yes, you mean tarring and feathering any Republican caught earmarking
b. No
c. Undecided

12. Do you support increased funding for securing our borders

a. Yes
I support actual efforts to secure the borders even more.
b. No
c. Undecided

14. Are you in favor of establishing a guest worker program that will allow people to enter the US temporarily to fill jobs that Americans do not take

a. Yes 
To guest workers and legal immigration, never to amnesty.
b. No
c. Undecided

15. Do you think being strong on the issue of illegal immigration and trying to bring it under control helps or hurts the Republican Party when it comes to winning elections in your area.

a. Helps the party
b. Hurts the party
c. Undecided

 What does "bring it under control" mean? That is so purposely vague, nice try suckers.

16. Do you believe the Republican Party should continue to embrace social issues

a. Yes
b. No
c. Undecided 

Are we talking Nanny State Morality policing, or efforts to prevent the left from destroying traditional society with it's brand of Nanny State badness?

If yes please register your opinion on the following issues (1 = support, 2 = Oppose, 3= No Opinion)

a. School Prayer
  Privatize schools or allow vouchers, problem solves itself.
b. Faith Based Initiatives 
No, absolutely a bad idea, get government out of the churches and synagogues, cut taxes so individuals may make the contributions they wish to make
c. Ban Burning of the Flag  
  As much as it aggravates me when some hippie douchebag torches Old Glory, it would aggravate me more to bar that kind of expression.
d. Ban All Abortions 
*sigh* I'm fairly pro-life, but this is a loaded question or demagoguery, even the Catholic Church allows for a few extreme emergency cases for terminating a pregnancy.
e. Ban Human Cloning 
Okay, this one you have me on board with, the last thing we need is a bunch of cloned trustafarians, hipsters and hippies walking around...
f. Prohibit Homosexual Marriage
How about government getting out of the marriage game altogether? 
g. Other__________ 
How about keeping the Nanny State at bay?  Keep them away from our guns, booze, tobacco, businesses, food, cars, churches, organizations, entertainment and bedrooms

National Defense

1. Do you support fighting the terrorists in Iraq to ensure that the War on Terror does not come to US shores

a. Yes
but I think immigration enforcement and border security are just as important partly for national security reasons.
b. No
c. Undecided

2. As a voter where do you put the status of the War on Terror as a factor in deciding how you will vote in the 2008 elections

a. The war will be a very big factor
b. The war will be somewhat a factor 
Winning the War on Terror is only worthwhile if we can maintain our liberty as we do it.
c. The war will not be a big factor
d. Don't Know

3. Which party do you think has a stronger message to take into the 2008 elections when it comes to the War on Terror

a. The Republican policy of stabilizing Iraq and handing over military duties as the Iraqi government gains strength
b. The Democrat policy of "cut and run" bringing our troops home immediately and leaving Iraq in the hands of terrorists
c. Undecided we go with the talking points, do you want to survey, or do you want to rattle off talking points?  We did this last time too, but I have to say, you did much better than last time in that regard.  Okay, okay, yes teacher, I want the US to win in Iraq...

Well that was fun, wasn't it?  Honestly, even if I was completely content with the GOP's performance, I'd probably still be pretty smartassed in my answering, just because they're usually kinda dumb or try and lead you to the answers they want.   It just so happened that these surveys have been while the GOP has been effing up supremely.

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