June 30, 2008
Respect America's Traditional Media Organizations, a trade group promoting journalism in both print and television, made the stunning declaration today that the value of Planck's Constant, a fundamental part of quantum physics, was 4.
"Under media aegis presidential elections are decided, world opinion is shaped, and celebrities are declared hot or not," said spokeswoman Mina Dirac. "Why should we allow physicists to continue to direct their so-called constant, when we can do it better?"
She cited the media's track record of achievement in prognostication. "Who knew the democratic nominee almost from the start of the race in 2007? We did. Who knew the winner of the 2004 election after 10% of the votes were tallied? We did. Who cut through government misinformation to broadcast live, real-time updates the horrors of Hurricane Katrina, which cost tens of thousands of lives? That's right: we did.
"Which organization has seen the budding depression in the US economy despite economic indicators pointing towards growth and a misleadingly buoyant private sector? We have. So now we're turning our attention to physics.
In addition to Planck's constant being fixed at 4, ROTMO also revealed that the relativity equation is now best expressed as
Truth = SpokenPower x Traditional Media
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