doubleplusundead

December 30, 2009

In which Alex proves she's a tolerant, loving person

Mandatory disclaimer: The moms (and dads!) who post here are wonderful parents who are not the target of my wrath. That being said:

The NHTSA has launched a distracted driver website to point out that, hey, maybe not paying attention while you drive is a bad thing, m'kay? No! No! I did not know that! I thought that texting, eating, putting on makeup, reading a book, talking on the phone, getting a hummer, doing your nails and the rest make you a better driver! Thank you NHTSA! Thank you!

My wrath really isn't aimed at that. After all, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is kinda responsible for keeping track of national highway traffic safety. My ragey rage is more directed towards things like this where the discussion is all about texting, using PDAs, using GPS devices and the like.

What's not on that list? Parents dealing with their screaming brats in the car. The guy and girl having an enormous fight and/or sex. The gaggle of 16 yos shrieking about how hot Count Sparkula is (sekrit to Sparkly Vampire Boy - shower. Haz one). The people who are car seat dancing along to Lady Gaga. Because that's not distracting at all.

Seriously, I would rather have someone texting away driving behind/alongside of me than a parent who is busy trying to deal with what the kids are doing. I cannot tell you how many times I've nearly been plowed down because Mommy has to help her Precious Child do something. Hell, yesterday there was a woman on the highway turned completely around in her seat reaching for her kid.

If there's a ban on texting while driving, then there should be a ban on driving with children in the car. I mean, the goal is to promote safety, right? Don't we want the children to be safe? To paraphrase the Southwest ads, why do they hate your kids? Why, it's enough to make one who is more cynical than I believe that this is all about making gestures and not actually thinking through a problem.

Posted by: alexthechick at 04:27 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 355 words, total size 2 kb.

Amen, alex. And speaking as a parent who does 99% of the family driving, fixit jr has been told (not in these specific terms), that if I have to pull the car over to deal with him, his ass will be unspeakably sore for days, if not weeks, to come. And, he knows this is no idle threat. For the most part, he is a remarkably well behaved (just turned) 9 yr old. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Being an "only"* child, his is fairly spoiled, but he knows when to let it all hang out, and when to toe the line.

*disclaimer, he has a half-sister my wife gave up for adoption that is not around, but he has met.

Posted by: mrfixit at December 30, 2009 06:13 PM (Bsm1s)

As a parent of 3 screaming brats who ride in my car, it is incredibly distracting. It pisses me off to no end. That said, after screaming at them to shut the hell up and giving up on that line of persuasion, I will look for the nearest opportunity to pull over. I check for nearby vehicles, plan the safest route, jarringly steer to the side of the road, and slam on my brakes. This usually scares the shit out of them enough to get their undivided attention. I can then turn around in my seat, and let loose a volley of profanity and mild threats which further frightens them into stunned silence until we reach our destination.

Posted by: Rich at December 30, 2009 06:36 PM (Qrjpn)

3 There's a reason I drive a vehicle with a third-row seat - it greatly cuts down on how often I have to turn around to smack the kids.

Seriously, though, I don't think I've ever smacked the kids in the car. I know I get too easily frustrated just by the act of driving, and I don't want to take it out on the kids. If it's important enough that I have to turn around, it's important enough to pull over, and the kids know that.

Kids that repeatedly misbehave in the car aren't afraid of the consequences of what happens when the car stops. And I think we all know how to fix that, heh.

Posted by: Alice H at December 30, 2009 06:50 PM (qJHYy)

4 Mrs. See-Dub and I are seriously having this discussion now about what arrangement of seats is best for three kids and what kind of vehicle best accommodates them. Mrs. See-Dub favors the three kids in the second row option, which does offer minimal slapping distance but seems calculated to provoke fights between them.

I prefer two in 2nd row, spaced wide apart, and the stinky one in the very back. Seems to promote peace. But do you guys have any thoughts?

Posted by: See-Dubya at December 30, 2009 09:59 PM (4sZcI)

But do you guys have any thoughts?

Yeah; if you want peace, put'em all in the trunk. With duct tape on their mouths. It works great for Ember Jr.

Posted by: Ember at December 30, 2009 10:15 PM (LdRAG)

6 Don't have a trunk, Ember. This is the best we can do.

Posted by: See-Dubya at December 30, 2009 10:57 PM (4sZcI)

7 I get seriously pissed when my kids act up in the car, and will pull over to knock heads. But, driving next to someone texting scares the ever-loving shit out of me. Srsly.

Posted by: Carin at December 31, 2009 03:41 AM (UsRyD)

8 Alex I was with you up until the hummer. You will have to take my hummer from my cold dead crotch.

Posted by: Tattooed Fighter at December 31, 2009 06:49 AM (QC5j9)

9 See-Dub, the only problem with the three-row solution you're proposing is that two kids in the same row can still reach each other, even if they're each in window seats. The person who figures out how to compartmentalize each seat in the back of an SUV will rule the world.

If the stinkiest one is a baby, put the baby in the second row with the kid that likes the baby best, and put the troublemaker in the third row. Or put the troublemaker in the second row and the others in back so that the adult passenger can easily reach around to smack the troublemaker. Hopefully one or more of your kids will be of an age soon where (s)he is just interested in sitting with headphones on and sulking and then it won't be as much of a problem who sits on which row.

Three kids in one row is just problematic, it's too crowded for comfort and so it's going to lead to the kids picking on each other even if they're bestest buddies.

Posted by: Alice H at December 31, 2009 10:30 AM (qJHYy)

10 ...getting a hummer...

For the record, according to Science (notice I used a BIG s there, that makes it important) getting a hummer while driving DOES make you not just a better driver, but a better person as well. It's a Fact.

Though I will concede, while I have no experience with it, it does sound like giving a hummer while driving might be problematic, so yeah... don't give hummers while driving.

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