June 20, 2008

I hates me some hippies

My Alma Mater, UC Berkeley, has been trying to build a new, state-of-the-art $140 million athletic training center next to the football stadium. But, this being Berkeley we're talking about, since the plan calls for a bunch of trees to be removed, a bunch of goddamn hippies have been hindering progress on the plan.

The tree group's protest targets UC's plan to cut 44 trees to make way for the athletic center. The trees offer a welcome patch of open space on the densely developed campus, and at least one of the trees dates from the 1800s, [attorney for the stinky leftists Stephan] Volker argued.

The first tree-sitters clambered into the oaks and redwoods Dec. 2, 2006, as 75,000 football fans filed past to attend the Big Game against Stanford. About two dozen protesters have rotated in and out of the trees since then, occasionally tussling with police, campus security and hostile football fans. Campus police have made about 100 arrests and issued more than 200 citations.

UC took several steps to remove the tree-sitters, including obtaining a court order, erecting a pair of fences to hamper the delivery of food and removal of waste, and periodically removing the protesters' backpacks, guitars, blankets and other gear.

I've got to say that I really like the idea of taking away their guitars. You just know those were being used to create some really shitty hippie jam songs about loving trees and how the Earth is our mother.

Anyway, there's been some action up there recently, including a legal ruling that both the university and the hippies are claiming as a victory, and two days of work crews dismantling the platforms the stupid human wastes of space have been occupying. I mention all of that to bring you this nugget:

Workers and police were pelted several times with human urine and excrement thrown by tree-sitters Tuesday, Mogulof said.

In one of several tense moments Wednesday, a basket with two workers was lowered by crane to the trunk of a tall tree on top of which a screaming young woman was perched on a small wooden platform about 100 feet in the air.

The woman, identified by sympathizers as Dumpster Muffin, screamed and violently shook the precarious perch. The crane backed off, and the woman raised her hand in the air in a sign of victory.

That's right. A screaming woman, living in a tree, whose name is Dumpster Muffin.  I honestly don't know how I lived in that town for seven years without going on a bloody killing spree.

Update: Photos of the dismantling by zomblog.  (Via Nice Deb in the comments.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:13 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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