September 29, 2008

Gore Mansion Destroyed in a Fire

Angry youths wearing green masks today stormed the Gore compound and burned it into the ground, declaring it “a hazard to children and other living creatures” because of its massive consumption of electricity, natural gas, and Ho-Hos.  The rioters also overturned a Twinkie truck that was making a delivery.
 
There were no reported injuries.
 
The move comes just after Gore exhorted his followers to act with “civil disobedience” against any organization which might be harming the earth by carbon emissions.  It was not clear at press time whether or not Mr. Gore had intended himself to be a target, and he was unavailable for comment due to being en route to Swaziland via private jet to collect the 2008 “Good Citizen’s Award for Fossil Fuel Avoidance.”
 
A spokesman for the protestors said that they intended to find Gore’s boat, which they had christened “The Goreitania”, and sink it as well.
 
“Al won’t mind,” he said.  “He’s cool with us tearing stuff up and breaking windows to slake our thirst for environmental justice.  After all, we’re just helping him live more simply, like when George Bush beat him in 2000 and retired him from politics.  That’s why from now on, I’m voting Republican, to give our messiahs more time to concentrate on their vision!”

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