June 13, 2008

Gaaaahhhh!!!!!!

Ted Turner predicted Global Cannibalism. Now ABC News wants you to shit your pants over global warming.

I guess since we don’t really have to worry about global thermonuclear war anymore, a one degree rise in the Earths temperature will just have to be scary enough.

Are we living in the last century of our civilization? Is it possible that all of our technology, knowledge and wealth cannot save us from ourselves? Could our society actually be heading towards collapse?

Gaaaahhh!!!! OMFG!!!!!

According to many of the world's top scientists, the answer is yes, unless we take action now.

Now? Like right now? Cause I got a barbeque to go to later.

Experts say that extreme changes in climate, combined with dwindling resources, famine, war and disease have the potential to create a post-apocalyptic world in less than a hundred years. Harvard University and Woods Hole climatologist John Holdrens says we cannot continue going down the same path.


GAAAAAHHHH!!!!! OMFG!!! *furiously throwing empty Coke can in recycle bin*

"If we continue on business as usual, we are going to see more floods, more droughts, more heat waves, more wildfires, more ice melting, faster sea level rise," Holdren said.


So WE control the weather? We can stop floods and droughts, (wait…floods AND droughts?) I wish somebody had told me we controlled the weather before I had to deal with a couple of rainy days on my last vacation.

Ok, I’m calming down, we can stop the Apocalypse, it’s within our power to stave off the END OF THE WORLD. I’m feeling a little better, tell me more ABC News:

"We really have less than a decade to start getting this right. If we're still dragging our feet in 2015 I think it really becomes at that point almost impossible for the world to avert a degree of climate change that we simply will not be able to manage without intolerable cost and consequences."


Gaaaahhhhh!!!!!! OMFG!!!!! 2015 people!!! Seven years!!! Seven years to “Start getting it right” or we’re all DOOMED, DOOMED!!!!!!!

Everything that’s ever happened in the history of mankind swings in the balance of the next seven years. All we’ve done, all we’ve created, all we are will CEASE TO EXIST, if we don’t do……… something or other, by 2015. Listen to me now people, if you care at all about the very future of mankind, you better start doing whatever the fuck “getting it right” means, and you better start doing whatever that may be IMMEDIATELY!!

I’m starting now, I’m gonna start “getting it right” this very minute.

Just as soon as I figure out what the fuck that even means.

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