June 13, 2008

Gaaaahhhh!!!!!!

Ted Turner predicted Global Cannibalism. Now ABC News wants you to shit your pants over global warming.

I guess since we don’t really have to worry about global thermonuclear war anymore, a one degree rise in the Earths temperature will just have to be scary enough.

Are we living in the last century of our civilization? Is it possible that all of our technology, knowledge and wealth cannot save us from ourselves? Could our society actually be heading towards collapse?

Gaaaahhh!!!! OMFG!!!!!

According to many of the world's top scientists, the answer is yes, unless we take action now.

Now? Like right now? Cause I got a barbeque to go to later.

Experts say that extreme changes in climate, combined with dwindling resources, famine, war and disease have the potential to create a post-apocalyptic world in less than a hundred years. Harvard University and Woods Hole climatologist John Holdrens says we cannot continue going down the same path.


GAAAAAHHHH!!!!! OMFG!!! *furiously throwing empty Coke can in recycle bin*

"If we continue on business as usual, we are going to see more floods, more droughts, more heat waves, more wildfires, more ice melting, faster sea level rise," Holdren said.


So WE control the weather? We can stop floods and droughts, (wait…floods AND droughts?) I wish somebody had told me we controlled the weather before I had to deal with a couple of rainy days on my last vacation.

Ok, I’m calming down, we can stop the Apocalypse, it’s within our power to stave off the END OF THE WORLD. I’m feeling a little better, tell me more ABC News:

"We really have less than a decade to start getting this right. If we're still dragging our feet in 2015 I think it really becomes at that point almost impossible for the world to avert a degree of climate change that we simply will not be able to manage without intolerable cost and consequences."


Gaaaahhhhh!!!!!! OMFG!!!!! 2015 people!!! Seven years!!! Seven years to “Start getting it right” or we’re all DOOMED, DOOMED!!!!!!!

Everything that’s ever happened in the history of mankind swings in the balance of the next seven years. All we’ve done, all we’ve created, all we are will CEASE TO EXIST, if we don’t do……… something or other, by 2015. Listen to me now people, if you care at all about the very future of mankind, you better start doing whatever the fuck “getting it right” means, and you better start doing whatever that may be IMMEDIATELY!!

I’m starting now, I’m gonna start “getting it right” this very minute.

Just as soon as I figure out what the fuck that even means.

Posted by: bmac at 12:42 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 443 words, total size 3 kb.

1 I started reading and thought, "Hey! Goody! I can add a snarky comment." But I can't, 'cause you got 'em all! Rats.

No, wait!

<i>" ... if you care at all about the very future of mankind, you better start doing whatever the fuck “getting it right” means, and you better start doing whatever that may be IMMEDIATELY!!..."</i>

All we have to do is vote the Socialists into irrevocable Power and then leave our daily - nay, moment-to-moment! - life in their capable hands to run, mold, and discard at their whim.

'Cause they know better than us.

Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at June 13, 2008 12:57 PM (DvoWL)

2 I guess I could'a used the italics button. Naaa...

Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at June 13, 2008 12:58 PM (DvoWL)

3

If the socialists take over I hope I pull "village idiot" from the Job Hat.  That would fucking rule.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at June 13, 2008 12:58 PM (83gRI)

4

Italics are gay anyway.  Example.

Look at it all leaning over as if to say "hey, I like being anally violated by Bears."

 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at June 13, 2008 01:00 PM (83gRI)

5

Unfortunately, I was busy yesterday and grabbed lunch at Taco Bell.  With the flatulence that resulted, I'm afraid we're gonna have to move the end of the world forward a bit.

Posted by: Hemit Dave at June 13, 2008 01:13 PM (Tk5HT)

6 If the socialists take over I hope I pull "village idiot" from the Job Hat. 

Yeah right, you'd so be going to a gulag, if you were lucky.


Posted by: doubleplusundead at June 13, 2008 01:14 PM (NX+Eg)

7 Not just a Gulag, but a Gulag.

Posted by: bmac at June 13, 2008 01:19 PM (oRVu1)

8

Gulag

I just laughed out loud at work.  I think we've got a new inside joke with the italics. 

 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at June 13, 2008 01:21 PM (83gRI)

9 "I just laughed out loud at work. "

Yep, it's do able.

Posted by: bmac at June 13, 2008 01:31 PM (oRVu1)

10 do able?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at June 13, 2008 02:09 PM (83gRI)

11 do able?

Maybe not, the italic is a fickle bitch.
Or is a fickle bitch.
Fickle bitch?

Posted by: bmac at June 13, 2008 02:20 PM (oRVu1)

12 I fuck up and now it's a fad. At least it not - you know - a fad.

I would like to put forth my application for village idiot. But I don't have one. Will some string and a dead squirrel do?

Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at June 13, 2008 05:46 PM (DvoWL)

Posted by: dsfss75 at April 23, 2011 12:51 AM (CgSil)

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