August 20, 2008

Everything's Coming up Romney!

Let's look at possible scenarios for the VP picks for both McCain and Obama.
 
If Obama picks Hillary, you know who that helps?  Mitt Romney.  Because he's clearly the antidote to Hillary Clinton and McCain must therefore choose him.  To put it in high school chemistry terms, Mitt + Hillary is like Base + Acid; it equals salt and water.  You know what else is salt and water?  The bitter tears of defeat that would flow from Democrats' eyes when McCain/Romney rolled to a stunning victory in November.
 
If Obama picks anybody else, you know who that helps?  Mitt Romney.  Because all the other people lack the combination of executive experience, Massachusetts connections, and great hair that Romney would bring to a McCain ticket.
 
If McCain picks Joe Lieberman, you know who that helps?  Mitt Romney.  With Lieberman in the VP spot Romney would be available for another high-profile job in the administration, like Chair of the Federal Reserve, Secretary of State, or Supreme Court Nominee.  Or maybe all three, in order to properly valorize the talents of this unique governance savant.
 
If McCain picks Sarah Palin, you know who that helps?  Mostly bloggers who sit around in mom's basement in their underwear reading Ace of Spades, but also especially Mitt Romney.  With Palin tied up under McCain, Romney is free to take the job she would normally fill as the standard bearer for conservatism over the next four years, keeping Team McCain on track and protecting our interests at home and abroad.
 
If McCain picks Mitt Romney, you know who that helps?  John McCain.  Quite frankly, it's not at all clear what's in it for Mitt.  It would be like Paul McCartney singing backup to John Meyer.  
 
If McCain loses, you know who that helps?  Mitt Romney, because we'll all know that if we'd nominated Romney we wouldn't have had to deal with a democratic president, because no one can stand against Field Marshall Romney, the Desert Fox.
 
For more information, please go here, official home of the Mitt Romney fan club.  Because you know who clicking those links helps?
Mitt Freakin' Romney, that's who.

Posted by: plebian at 04:56 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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