June 27, 2008

Canadian HRC Opens Investigation Against Obama

Anti tar sands rhetoric is possible violation of Hate Speech laws.


The Canadian Human Rights Council confirmed yesterday that it has opened an investigation against Democratic nominee Barack Obama regarding his “anti-Canadian” comments, specifically his recent denunciation of oil extracted from tar sands.


A spokesperson for the HRC said that “several Canadians have complained that Mr. Obama’s reckless disregard for NAFTA and his specific denigration of the Tar Sands have led to feelings of abandonment, disillusionment, and general hurt feelings.  This is incompatible with what it means to be Canadian; namely, our belief that all discourse should be bland and neutral.”


Aides for Obama called the issue a distraction.  “When he said Tar Sands, he didn’t realize that this phrase was a special code word for the Canadians.  What he meant to say is that greater pollution from fossil fuels in the US will not be tolerated, but the continued purchasing of Canadian oil is indispensable for our economy, and Barack knows that.  He has nothing but respect for our unassuming neighbors to the north.”


Some workers in the Tar Sands industry, though, rejected the apology.  “After the HRC is done skinning Mark Steyn, I want my reparations, too!” insisted one local worker.  “My feelings are bruised beyond repair, and every morning I wake up feeling like a climate criminal thanks to him.  If he can afford to spend millions of dollars to pay off Hillary Clinton’s debts, then he can throw a few thousand my way.  I know my rights!”

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