Reeling from her loss in the Iowa primary, Hillary begins a new effort to influence voters...

Hey!  Let me out of here! C'mon, let me go!


...


Please Mrs. Clinton, let me out of here, I don't want to vote for you!


It votes Team Clinton for the win, it does this whenever its told.


Look, I just don't think you'd make a good president, now please, let me out of this stupid pit!


It votes Team Clinton for the win, or else it gets the hose again!


Alright, its Bubba's time to shine! *ZIIIPP!!*


Not *that* hose, idiot!


Aww, Why not?


Because the last thing I need right now is to wake up and see
"Bill Shows Skin to Fifth" plastered all over my morning paper!


Hmph...I didn't have to put anyone in a pit to make them vote for me...


Get the fuck out of here!


Yikes!


Are you two done yet?  This is getting ridiculous...


Oh, right...dammit, I lost my place, where was I?


I dunno, this is getting really tedious...


Oh, right!  Now I remember!  Hold on a sec, lemme get into character...which you know is a monumental task for me...any minute now...ready!


It places the ballot in the basket...


Look, I told you, I'm not voting for you, I just don't think you're the right person for the job!


It places the ballot in the basket...


I'm not voting for you!  Why can't you leave me the hell alone and let me out of this hole!


...


Let me goooooooo-


Put the fucking ballot in the basket!


Okay, okay, jeeez, is it really that important to you? Here!


AAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!  I can't believe you're making me vote for you, you rotten bitch!  AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!


Aaaahhhh!!!


AAAAAAAAAGGHHH!!!


AAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!


Can you let me the hell out of here now? You got your stupid vote already!

*The sound of Q. Lazzarus' "Goodbye Horses" is heard through Clinton HQ*


Would you tax them?


I'd tax them.


I'd tax them...hard!


*RING RING RING RING RING*


Oh what the hell is it now?


Hello?


Uh, hi, I'm Jodie Foster, I'm here to provide an awkward jump off point for this lame attempt at Wuzzadem-style humor? I guess?


Oh, okay...well, thanks.


Umm...no problem, I guess...

-Fin-

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:35 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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