1 You wasted stuffing?  How dare you!

2 Was it a nice bowl?

3 But was the stuffing okay?

Seriously, I'm glad it wasn't worse, I hope you heal soon.

4 "cleaning the prostate" ?

Look, you're just going to have to forgo practicing your Kung Fu techniques until  your hand heals.

"Cleaning the prostate", "thumping the blind melon", "spanking the monkey", and "biting the wax tadpole" are verboten until your tissues knit!

Try "munching the leftovers". But skip the stuffing, I say!

5 Eddie's shopping this story all over the internet. Until I see bloody pics at his place, I'm pretty sure he's full of shit. He just wants sympathy from Alice H. and Alexthechick.

6

"Wow! That looks like it hurts." Ahh. 8 year olds!

Kids rock.  It's great how they just say what's on their minds, untempered by most social constraints.

I was fixing something for my SO's boy with superglue and, being a moron, managed to glue a couple fingers together.  The kid's first question:  "Is my toy going to be OK?"  To this day, over a year later, every time I go to fix something, her kids tell me not to glue my fingers together and laugh their little heads off.   Bastards.

Anyway, hope you heal ok.  Nasty cuts in flexible parts of the body really suck, and I have the scars to prove it.

7 No stitches? It wudn't that bad, broseph.

As for your "game" hand, God did give you two hands, didn't He?

8

Kinda done that.  When I was a kid, I had a shard of glass go in on the fingertip side of my first knuckle and come out on the hand side of my second knuckle. I have some nerve damage, but surprisingly, no severed muscles or tendons.

I also got dragged under a car and a piece of glass or gravel cut the side of my left knee open.  Yeah, bad cuts on bendy parts are really not good. Not good at all, but they do get you out of gym class... heh.

I feel for you. I guess you can use this 'opportunity' to find out how ambidextrous you are.  As Rahm sez, don't waste a crisis. Or some shit like that.

9 Sadly, the bowl and the stuffing didn't survive. Thankfully, the bowl was one of those $10 from Target types. My mom has had enough children to know not to let them handle the good stuff.

Oh, and as for the right hand thing, it kinda kills the mood when scabs and blood mix in with the cleansing aspect.

10 switching hands is kinda like dating a new chick, though. A clumsy new chick.

Not that I would know, of course

11 Thankfully, the bowl was one of those $10 from Target types.

I dropped one of those a few days ago (full of pumpkin seeds), damn, they blow up good. It's like they pre-stress them at the factory for maximum collateral damage.