doubleplusundead

June 30, 2008

Ask A Moron: I'm not a mechanic.

Nothing going on today in the news so I've dug out some old Ask A Moron questions. Since it doesn't look like there will be much of interest on the docket today, maybe you morons could throw a few more questions into the pool. I'm running low.

Stash asks - What does it mean when the little picture of an engine lights up on my car's dashboard?

Everyone knows that all dashboard lights are there to provide ambiance and have no real meaning. Why, I once drove a car for two years straight with that light on and never once had a problem.* I say, ignore it but, if you must do something, drive faster. If you have a manual transmission, take whatever gear you'd usually be in and go down one.

Engines love that.

* - By "never once had a problem" I mean it ran fine so long as I placed a full quart of oil in the engine every day. This constant use caused the terribly deformed and badly latched hood to frequently fly up while I was going faster than 60 mph. On the plus side, I never needed to get an oil change because it didn't stay in the car long enough to get dirty, or probably even warm.

In order to keep Ask A Moron a regular feature I need questions from you, my readers. Please put your questions, any question at all, in the comments or e-mail them to me at chaos -dot- overlord -at - gmail -dot- com.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:57 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 263 words, total size 2 kb.

It's probably prostate cancer.

You should get that checked out.

(or it could be one of a dozen little programs or sensors that control fuel mixture and emissions, like a bad O2 sensor. Still, prostate cancer is serious, I wouldn't ignore it if I were you).

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 30, 2008 10:48 AM (pzen5)

2 This is going to involve using a "dipstick" to "check my levels" isn't it?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at June 30, 2008 11:06 AM (83gRI)

3 * - By "never once had a problem" I mean it ran fine so long as I placed a full quart of oil in the engine every day. This constant use caused the terribly deformed and badly latched hood to frequently fly up while I was going faster than 60 mph. On the plus side, I never needed to get an oil change because it didn't stay in the car long enough to get dirty, or probably even warm.

You had an '89 Escort station wagon too, eh?

Posted by: Alice H at June 30, 2008 11:13 AM (jRtPb)

'89 Chevy Beretta. I'm pretty sure 1989 marks the low-water mark of American manufacturing history.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at June 30, 2008 11:42 AM (83gRI)

5 Sadly, I've spent the morning reading a deposition where they went on for pages and pages and pages about what that little light thingy could mean. I only wish I were joking.

My solution to automotive problems is to turn the radio up louder.

Posted by: alexthechick at June 30, 2008 11:42 AM (SHHaV)

6 are sweet rolls a food group?

Posted by: cochise wurlitzer at June 30, 2008 12:59 PM (Hlrwj)

I have a question. I was debating about asking it either as either a Haiku or an Olbermann, but I think I'll go with an Olbermann:

Sir, isn't it true, sir, that your feature called "ask a moron" is just a sickeningly cheap way to get somebody else to give you, sir, posting ideas?

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