doubleplusundead

July 09, 2008

Ask a Moron: Food Groups

cochise wurlitzer asks - Are sweet rolls a food group?

Not exactly. However, Hostess^TM snack products are a food group that should be consumed at least 2 - 4 times per day.

I know this gets confusing so, for your convenience, I've provided this handy-dandy food pyramid to guide your Ace-o-Spade's Moron diet!

In order to keep Ask a Moron a regular feature I need questions from you, the readers. Please put your questions, any question at all, in the comments or e-mail them to me at chaos -dot- overlord -at- gmail -dot- com.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:04 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

1 What about pork rinds?

Posted by: eddiebear at July 09, 2008 09:07 AM (wnU1W)

I'm not sure if those fit into the Processed Meats or Lard food group.

It is a grey area like whether the Platypus is a mammal or God's biggest fucking mistake.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at July 09, 2008 09:18 AM (83gRI)

3
Re the top of the food pyramid: It's always a good idea to weigh your date to get an estimate of the number of calories likely to be consumed. Also, if the number of calories turns out to be very high, you may need to have some extra servings from the bottom of the pyramid to carry you through.

Posted by: geoff at July 09, 2008 09:33 AM (0HBHh)

4 Hostess? Please, Tastykakes in PA.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at July 09, 2008 09:54 AM (YTk4M)

5 Well, this isn't the regional food pyramid! You know what I meant, obviously! Your edible underwear are probably made of Cheesesteaks too.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at July 09, 2008 10:12 AM (83gRI)

6 Scrapple, actually...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at July 09, 2008 10:23 AM (YTk4M)

7 It's Val-U-Rite, for God's sake. And what? No deep fried hobo? Or is that a combo of "processed meat" and "lard"

Posted by: XBradTC at July 09, 2008 11:52 AM (Sp2fz)

Hobos skirt the delicious lines of many food groups. Of course, they are in the alcoholic beverage category as well and may serve as an energy drink if you are a Hobo-Vampire.

As for the Flav-O-Rite/Val-U-Rite problem, it's like dyslexia but with the names of alcoholic beverages and caused by alcoholic beverages.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at July 09, 2008 12:18 PM (83gRI)

9 a Hobo-Vampire.

Wouldn't that be Hobopire?

Mmmmm Tastykakes. Great, now my nutritious dinner is going to be Pringles, beef jerky and Tastykakes. Or I could be classy and stop at Wegmans for beer a delicious sammich. God, I'm so glad that Wegmans is selling beer delicious sammiches now.

Posted by: alexthechick at July 09, 2008 12:59 PM (SHHaV)

10 should a middle-aged man, back on the dating "scene" again, take his false teeth out of his shirt pocket and pop them in for that all-important first impression? or should he just order cream of wheat and the hell with it?

Posted by: hiawatha biscayne at July 09, 2008 08:06 PM (Hlrwj)

11 ps...i loved the multimedia presentation. good job! excellent baloney pic! and while i'm partial to the Little Debbie line, the ding dongs looked delectable.

Posted by: hiawatha biscayne at July 09, 2008 08:09 PM (Hlrwj)

12 Now wait a minnit dammit! Carnivorous moron here, and not happy about less-than-fair representation here!

I DEMAND a new food group include simple meats such as pork, bacon, ribs, steak, bacon, venison, rat, dog, bacon...

Posted by: Gregory the First at July 10, 2008 03:54 AM (cjwF0)

13 Wow! Some amazing effects. Definitely some great ideas here. Thanks for sharing!

Posted by: cheap clothing at June 11, 2011 01:23 AM (GQCoC)

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