This is when you start shitting in your trashcan

I guess it's cheaper to send someone to rifle through garbage than to, say, conduct a census.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:36 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Meet my man-crush

Seriously, someone needs to put Isaiah Mustafa in a full-length movie so I can drool and stare for a couple of hours. A full-length movie where he's shirtless most of the time. Doesn't have to be all the time, because there's that nice "Oh, he took his shirt off!" feeling when a hottie disrobes.

I wasn't going to post on this, but his response to Starbucks is too awesome to not put up.



Sarah K. has an entire collection of the videos of the future Mr. H (I am allowed to have two Mr. H's if one of them is Isaiah Mustafa, aren't I?). If you drop in for a visit over there, watch your language - she is a lady and doesn't cotton to the fuckity-fuck language we use in our house.

And just in case you're one of the three people on the planet who's never seen the original commercial...



One of our commenters posted the original commercial on her site not too long ago, and for the life of me I can't remember who it was. So speak up so I can give you some linkylove!

Update: I have to post one more video, proving Mr. Mustafa's superawesomeexcellence. How can you fail to fall for a man who understands baconlove?

Posted by: Alice H at 04:11 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I'll have my kids paint you one for five bucks

I'm really trying to understand this, I truly am.

How the FUCK does a road sign cost ten grand?

Can someone explain this to me, pretty please?  A friend of mine puts up road signs for a living, I'd be surprised if he makes $20 an hour doing it despite having to spend every week away from home.  For that sort of price, I want signs that will give my car a handjob as it's driving down the road, or at least blow fairy dust and ground-up unicorn horns into my AC system.

This is the government that we're supposed to trust to cut costs in health care?  Is there some reason we should expect this sort of reckless extravagance on something completely unnecessary to not predict even crazier expenditures on lots of nothing in our medical system?

Update: @KatMcKinley (RWS) proves my point.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:17 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Willy frickin Wonka

Someone(s) just bought every last cocoa bean in Europe.  Maybe this is step two of getting rid of my Nutella.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:01 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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Sadly, there are a few out there

So, was out of state for the weekend, during my drive out I stopped for gas, a soda and to take a leak at a gas station, the place had one or two small tables and you could buy sandwiches there. 

Anyway, heading to the bathroom to take a leak, been driving for a few hours and had to seriously friggin' go, and there's two guys sitting eating lunch. One's got a paper open and, poking the paper with his finger and ranting to the other guy, "Look at these fuckin' idiots running our country, and don't even get me started on that fuckin' (says loudly) N*GGER in the White House!"  No, I didn't light into him for his racist douchebaggery, I had other, more important things to do, like take a piss. Here's the thing, though, this guy sounded EXACTLY like Nick the shopkeeper in Falling Down. 

It took everything, and I mean everything I had not to stop, lean over the table, point to my head and evoke Nick's "Think about it!" verbal tic.

If you're unfamiliar with Falling Down, it's worth renting or sitting and watching if it's on TV, here are the relevant scenes, if you need a refresher,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:51 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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The Left's Sturmabteilung in action

Union jackboots taking a few swings at their opposition,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 06:07 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Hey! I Have An Answer!

No link to him, but while "true conservative" David Frum was filling in for "true conservative" Andrew Sullivan, Frummie had the sparkling idea of a one sentence mission statement for "modernized, reformed conservatism".

Yeah. From Frum. What, were David Brooks and Charles Johnson unavailable? But anyway, I have my own one sentence mission statement:

"Fuck anybody or anything with the flaming fucksword of freedom who wants to fucking limit the freedom and economic prosperity of all people and their security, be it domestically at the hands of a bloated and overtaxing bureaucratic Leviathan, or internationally, through weakening our ability to kill those who want to kill us or limit our ability to reach out and get the bad guys before they get us."

There. And I fucking didn't need four long winded and self important posts over at Sully's place to do it. And besides, fuck David Frum. Fuck that fuckgobblin with a corrosive fuckcamel's cock for thinking he can tell us what we need to think, do, and believe after spending years belittling and demeaning those of us he deems to unsavory to acknowledge. Fuck him for linking up with Andrew Sullivan to claim the high ground in the debate on our nation's future. And fuckingly fuckity fuck him for fucking being an arrogant and whiny fuckwaffle for attacking us, and then crying like a 30 cent crack whore who has to face her pimp after an unsuccessful night of business when he gets slapped around by those he insults and demeans.

Fuck you, Frummie. That is all.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:36 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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Concern trolls

They're not just for blog comments anymore!

I hear consistently from conservatives who want The Star to write negatively about the tea party, too. One agreed the story soft-pedaled: “We used to be the party of William F. Buckley, of discourse and intellectual debate, not juvenile pranks picked up from 40 years of watching the street-theater clowns smashing windows at World Bank protests.”

That's from a Kansas City Star column by a guy named Derek Donovan, who apparently hosts a local talk radio show. It's actually part of a piece where Donovan lists responses to a previous discussion of supposed Tea Party racism, and he prints what he calls "rational and civil" criticisms of his earlier article.

I'm glad that he did so, but I'm disappointed that anyone could fall for the kind of bullshit that he fell for from the so-called "conservative" who wrote to him about the character of the Tea Partiers.

(Oh, wait, did the corespondent happen to have the initials "DF"?)

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:35 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Origins of the current financial mess

Watch it on Academic Earth

Most of the readers here will probably disagree with the narrative / ideology of the speaker but the talk itself is interesting, especially since it was given contemporaneously, Jan 2009 I think (actually Nov 200 . (Be warned, the facial tic is disturbing)

Causes according to Dr. Blinder:

Risky lending - based on abnormally low default rates over the past 5 to 6 years (from 2003 to 2009). This was backed up by mathematical models that didn't look back far enough also.

Housing bubble - Irresponsible mortgage lending and irresponsible taking of mortgages by consumers. Refinancing ponzi scheme, liar loans, no-doc loans, ninja loans (no income no job or assets). Brokers made risky loans because they would only hold the loans for a short time and then they would be passed on so any defaults would be someonelse's problem. Blinder believes that mortgages should be federally regulated, he also believes there should be a suitability standard, and that brokers should have to hold some percentage of loans they originate to maturity.

Regulatory failure - specifically failure to rein in subprime lending.

Mortgage backed securities - as noted above the mortgages were bad so the securities were bad. When the defaults started the banks held huge amounts of debt. This was caused by bad risk management practices including poor diversification of capital classes (up to 80% in mortgage backed securities).

Rating agencies - didn't do their due diligence. Conflicts of interest exist because the agencies are paid by the bond issuer. He also advocates a bit of Caveat Emptor in that the lage firms should do some of their own investigation and rating.

Derivatives based on mortgage backed securities - unregulated and excessively leveraged. Very short term financing which led to a lack of liquidity when defaults started. (AIG) An attempt was made to regulate these derivatives and it failed. I personally don't know if this would have made a difference but maybe enforcing some liquidity requirements and limiting leverage would have.

George Bush - Of course it had to be George Bush's fault. My memory of events is different that Dr. Blinder's but I am not the one giving the lecture.

The Lehman Brothers failure - destroyed confidence in the financial system.

During the question and answer session it becomes very clear that Blinder was not a fan of TARP or the auto industry bailout. He also disputes the idea that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac had a large role to play in the sub-prime crisis. I can’t find anything to dispute him but I specifically remember in 2008 / 2009 large numbers of Fannie / Freddie mortgages being defaulted on and it being pointed out that they held huge numbers of subprime mortgages.

Posted by: chad98036 at 08:53 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I'm guessing Elliott Gould lost a bet

The Hogan family, I'm guessing, were the winners.

(Via FilmDrunk)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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You missed me. Admit it.

In case you are somehow not in the know, I've been gone from the internetz for about a month.  I lost my job in June, and had a brief period of freaking out (I do have a family to support).  During the freak-out time, my husband and I decided that we were going to leave Louisiana and move back home, which means Nevada.  So, we had a lot of things going on - from packing to moving to finding a house to me finding a job, and it just wasn't a good time for me to be on the internet.

So, I thought I'd pop back into the blogosphere for a minute to say, first, I'm baaaa-aaaack, and I missed my Moron Horde!  Second, I will be registering to vote next week, and I am thrilled that moving to Nevada means I get to vote against Harry Reid.  Hooray!  That will make this November extra satisfying.

Posted by: Ember at 09:01 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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What A Difference A Year Makes

I was just a few days short of my fifth birthday when this pile of shit hit the airwaves on this date 31 years ago.

Now, contrast the defeatism, negativism, and resignation from July, 1979 to this from July, 1980:


And this is the money shot, if you ask me. Think of the hope, the optimism, the belief that America's better days are ahead of us.

As your nominee, I pledge to restore to the federal government the capacity to do the people's work without dominating their lives. I pledge to you a government that will not only work well, but wisely; its ability to act tempered by prudence and its willingness to do good balanced by the knowledge that government is never more dangerous than when our desire to have it help us blinds us to its great power to harm us.

The first Republican president once said, "While the people retain their virtue and their vigilance, no administration by any extreme of wickedness or folly can seriously injure the government in the short space of four years."

If Mr. Lincoln could see what's happened in these last three-and-a-half years, he might hedge a little on that statement. But, with the virtues that our legacy as a free people and with the vigilance that sustains liberty, we still have time to use our renewed compact to overcome the injuries that have been done to America these past three-and-a-half years.

First, we must overcome something the present administration has cooked up: a new and altogether indigestible economic stew, one part inflation, one part high unemployment, one part recession, one part runaway taxes, one party deficit spending and seasoned by an energy crisis. It's an economic stew that has turned the national stomach.

Ours are not problems of abstract economic theory. Those are problems of flesh and blood; problems that cause pain and destroy the moral fiber of real people who should not suffer the further indignity of being told by the government that it is all somehow their fault. We do not have inflation because -- as Mr. Carter says -- we have lived too well.

The head of a government which has utterly refused to live within its means and which has, in the last few days, told us that this year's deficit will be $60 billion {hell, now that is nothing more than a waitress sandwich between Chris Dodd and Ted Kennedy's bloated corpse-ed}, dares to point the finger of blame at business and labor, both of which have been engaged in a losing struggle just trying to stay even.

High taxes, we are told, are somehow good for us, as if, when government spends our money it isn't inflationary, but when we spend it, it is.

Those who preside over the worst energy shortage in our history tell us to use less, so that we will run out of oil, gasoline, and natural gas a little more slowly. Conservation is desirable, of course, for we must not waste energy. But conservation is not the sole answer to our energy needs.

America must get to work producing more energy. The Republican program for solving economic problems is based on growth and productivity.

Large amounts of oil and natural gas lay beneath our land and off our shores, untouched because the present administration seems to believe the American people would rather see more regulation, taxes and controls than more energy.

I am at a loss to add anything more. All I can do is think of my daughter, her future, and how fucking terrible her life could be under the leviathan of Big Government and the obverse of the true hope and optimism of 30 years ago. I could. But that is not me. I am not a defeatist. I am not a pessimist. I do not believe that the future will be shittier than today. And I do not believe that the scrawny little five year old who waits up for me when I am working my new shit shift work so that she can present a painting to me that she did in her own hand will live in a worse world than I grew up in. I cannot. And I will not. And to those who think consigning the most precious and valuable treasure I ever held in my hands to a life of suckitude for the greater good is the way to go, I have this response:
more...

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:26 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Great concept meets weak execution

Alvin Greene Bobblehead Night = TEH AWESOME!!!!

The actual Alvin Greene bobblehead = not so much.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:12 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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What time with who?

Yes, that's "Tea Time with Tyson". It's one of the oddest things you'll see not involving a guy in a leotard.
I do have to admit I spent most of the vid wondering when Tyson would ask, "One lump or two?" before hitting the guy on the head once or twice.

Via Tex, who says it's "surreal", I have to agree.

Posted by: Veeshir at 07:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Moron Lifestyle: Bargain Booze

You won't find any Valu-Rite here.  Thekitchn.com has a list of slightly-above-bottom-of-the-shelf liquors promising to please a stingy moron's palate.

Sure, I love me some Bombay Sapphire, but it's Gordon's in my liquor cabinet.

I'll be looking to try the Canadian Club Sherry Cask and the Weller 12-yr bourbon.

Posted by: JoeCollins at 08:47 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A rambling almost incoherent post in which I vent my frustration at some of the d-bags who play World of Warcraft

I was playing my level 80 Hunter today running some heroics with pick up groups. First two went OK. I am not one of these guys who runs every heroic everyday but I have been thru almost all of them a couple times so the first two went OK (Trial of Champions and Forge of Souls), but the third, (Pit of Saron), SUCKED. It sucked from the beginning actually. The group leader wasn’t marking who she wanted killed first, as near as I can tell the rogue wasn’t sapping (maybe the saps were ineffective), people kept leaving (to grab a new bowl of weed or drop a ‘shroom according to party chat) and worst of all the healer wasn’t healing me. maybe I pissed her off or something, so I am trying to DPS, use my healing potions, keep my pet alive, eat and drink to keep mana and health up and keep up with the group. It blew. Meanwhile I died, three times (can't eat or bandage in combat and with out heals it only took one or two hits to put me down), the first two times I was rezzed, the third the healer said she wasn’t going too. OK great, I have never died in the Pit of Saron before so I actually didn’t know the way back from the graveyard. I asked for directions and the party leader just said to go on without me. They did and everyone wiped again, meanwhile she is getting pissed at me because of the 2nd party wipe. I finally told her either help me out or kick me. No answer and they wiped again, so I left the party. I am sure I am now blacklisted.

Oh and Blizzard did the second wave of Beta invites last night and dissed me again. Like I said worst day of WoW ever.

Posted by: chad98036 at 12:31 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Way to live down those stereotypes, comrades

I know, I know, as a full-fledged drunken Moron, I'm really not one to talk shit, but still...

Dozens of Russians, many of them drunk, are drowning daily as they head to water to escape a heatwave.

Vodka-drinking groups - some with small children - can be seen at lakes and ponds in and around the Russian capital where the current three-week heatwave may set a record of 98.6F (37C) this weekend.

Yeah, because there's no better way to stay hydrated during a heatwave than by guzzling some Val-U-Rite. That's the clear liquid they have in cups on the sidelines during marathons, right?

(More on the kids playing in the water in a second, with tragically predictable results.)

More than 1,200 people drowned across Russia in June this year, [Vadim Seryogin] said, including 233 between July 5 and July 12.

"The majority of those drowned were drunk," he said. "The children died because adults simply did not look after them."

Last week six children drowned in the Sea of Azov in southern Russia because the summer camp employees who were minding them were drunk.

Not that I'm siding with the drunken camp counselors or anything, but I hope for their sakes that the dead kids weren't fond of machetes and hockey masks, if you know what I'm saying.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Steampunk+Transformers=Win!

Yeah.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:07 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The scenic route

Last longer drive I did I took the scenic route part of the way, and that kicked ass, the rest was highway and urban driving, but I got to be a passenger for that part of the trip and I had great company in going.  I've done long highway/urban drives alone, but that scenic drive was a much more relaxing drive, especially driving through the state forests of PA...have another long drive on my own, and am putting real thought into taking the scenic route. 

I tend to be very uncomfortable with the aggressive driving on highways and cities, and am a good technical driver, so country driving doesn't bother me.  Only problem is I'm looking at a 5_^1/2 hour + drive (assuming no accidents) and turning it into a 7+ hour drive, and that's if I don't stop for lunch (will have to stop for gas though) or get delayed by anything.  What say you, morons, are you scenic drivers or do you go highway?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:51 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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"Fearsome lesbian gangs" desperate to get their hands on Lindsay Lohan

If that title doesn't get links nothing will, as Howard Stern say "lesbians equal ratings".

Inmates of the jail where Lindsay Lohan is set to spend up to 90 days have warned of gangs out to attack the starlet, saying "everyone will want a piece of her," one inmate said in an interview with The Sun

Don't worry though the drug addicted hookers have her back:

Tamara Haley, 38, is doing time for heroin possession and prostitution. She said Monday: "Everyone will want a piece of her. It will make them famous if they hurt Lindsay Lohan."Or if you get her to cry, the whole ward will laugh and people will love it -- even the guards."

Haley also warned bisexual Lindsay of the jail's lesbian gangs -- and offered advice on how to avoid their clutches.She said: "The gay inmates wear their shirts inside out to let others know they are available.
"So if Lindsay doesn't want someone to grab her ass she'd better keep her shirt on straight.
"Women grab each other like animals when the guards aren't looking. It's disgusting.

Martha Stewart made it OK. Maybe she can teach Lindsay how to shank a b**ch.

Posted by: chad98036 at 01:27 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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