Perfume Can Cure AIDS!

Oh yeah, this seems like a good idea:

Scientist Beime Larzjaibaeva of Tolebinsk told the country’s TTK news agency he could cure acquired immune deficiency syndrome by injecting perfume into infected patients, Ananova reports. It was not clear what ingredient in perfume affected the disease.

I'm not buying it...

Larzjaibaeva said the perfume has to be expensive for his treatment to work.

Oh, well in that case strap Andrew Sullivan down and lets get to the curing.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 06:22 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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White House Strategy Transcript

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Komsomol redux

OK, alex, here's a test of your fortitude. You either have to go look at the pictures on my last post, or you have to set the song from this as your ringtone.



(Courtesy of Gretchen at Lifenut, who is a fellow moron even though she doesn't cuss on her blog.)

Posted by: Alice H at 03:32 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Why, yes!

They do have zombie clowns!

Below the fold to protect alexthechick's delicate eyes.

Update: You may not like clowns, but how do you feel about Teletubbies?  Unfortunately, only for PC.


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St. Andrew Is Done With Afghanistan Now, Too

This last few weeks, it has been mildly amusing to watch Andrew Sullivan gradually step away from his earlier position that Afghanistan was where the real war was. Of course, since The One* is starting to waffle on the issue, St. Andrew has been preparing the intellectual space on his blog to accept the idea that we should get out of Afghanistan as soon as possible. He hasn't said that yet but he will just as soon as The One* says so.
Well, today in a post called, "Condie Cranks Up The Fear" there's this:

She tells Fortune magazine:

"The last time we left Afghanistan, and we abandoned Pakistan," she said, "that territory became the very territory on which Al Qaeda trained and attacked us on September 11th. So our national security interests are very much tied up in not letting Afghanistan fail again and become a safe haven for terrorists...It's that simple," she declared, "if you want another terrorist attack in the U.S., abandon Afghanistan."

Josh Marshall jumps in

The 'safe haven' argument just doesn't seem to add up. The safe havens or rather the training camps in the safe havens, where so many would-be terrorists apparently did an endless stream of calisthenics on those iconic monkey bars, were neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for the 9/11 attacks. They were funded through too loosely guarded global financial networks, planned and organized in cities in Europe and executed right here in the USA.

Apparently, according to Andi, the existence of an unharrassed base in which to train and prepare an attack had nothing to do with the succeessful attack on 9/11. Nope, it would have been just as easy to organize the most intricate terrorist attack in history without a safe haven.

Now Andi, you've obviously been into your whacky tobaccy again today so let me try to put this in terms even you will understand:

Your writing is, due to its painful obsessions and lack of logic, a form of mental terrorism. Unharrassed, you manage to produce seemingly unlimited mounds of the fetid bullshit every day. You sitting at your desk with your typewriter and giant water bong (filled with milky loads) is similar to Al Queda and the Taliban sitting in Afghanistan with no one to annoy them. Their terrible productivity was only limited by their god-given ability.

Now, imagine a group of men kick in your door and start kicking the shit out of you. Further imagine that they tear out all your communications devices and force you into hiding in your closet.

How much fucking writing would you do then? Yeah, not much. Especially since they allowed you to keep your giant, cock-shaped milky loads bong.

So, in what fucking universe does us leaving Afghanistan NOT increase their opportunity to attack us? What magical, invisible dark-force hampers their productivity in the absence of thousands of dedicated, American military ass-kickers?

P.S. Palin still has a vagina and is happy and you still don't and aren't. Enjoy coming to our country and breaking our laws and sliding because of your connections you piece of shit. I hope every Mexican that was deported last year for drug offenses kicks you in the dick.

* The One He Wants To Shoot Milky Loads In His Power Glutes

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:21 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Your Wednesday Afternoon Dose of Really Fucking Wrong

Inflicted on you by WarmingGlow.

Posted by: Alice H at 02:15 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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When Jim Webb Isn't Writing Bizzare Pron-Like Stories, He Is Busy Coddling Dictators.

In a move that will surprise no one, Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA) is tight with the murderous junta leaders over in Burma (yeah, I'm calling it that. If you don't like it, you know how I feel). Sayeth Goldfarb, with a juicy update:

Look to Senator Jim Webb (D-VA) for the answer to those questions.

On September 15 I reported on a closed-door meeting between Senator Webb and Secretary Clinton. Burma watchers raised eyebrows and speculated that Webb was making a last-ditch attempt at influencing the Burma policy review that State Department officials say should be released tomorrow by Clinton in New York City. Webb has been in the forefront of pressing the administration to engage with the regime and drop U.S. sanctions as part of a bizarre effort to check Chinese influence in that shattered country. Sources tell THE WEEKLY STANDARD that Webb enlisted Clinton's help in obtaining a visa for Nyan Win during their meeting last week.

The carefully worded State disclaimer that Nyan Win "did not meet with any government official," would not apply to Webb. In fact, Nyan Win had barely dropped his bags at the Burmese embassy when Webb was banging on the door to meet over the weekend. Webb spent considerable time with Nyan Win during his August tour of Burma -- a visit that will be most remembered for the blunt criticism it prompted from those fighting for freedom in Burma.

Webb has now handed the junta yet another diplomatic victory and delivered a blow to that country's democratic opposition by facilitating Nyan Win's trip to Washington. With the regime's horrific record of abuse and military cooperation with North Korea that could very well involve missile and nuclear proliferation--what is driving Webb to provide moral and political support to the vicious thugs running Burma? Why his highhanded treatment of a democracy movement that continues a battle that should be an inspiration for everyone living in freedom?

One final thought: the Obama administration is issuing visas for members of the Burmese junta while revoking visas for members of the democratic government in Honduras. I challenge any Democrat to defend that double standard.

Now, in light of that, thus sayeth Mr. Von Bear to those on the left who implicitly support this shit by voting for these cocknogglers:

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Not That I Would Encourage Petty Internet Vandalism, Vol. 2

But the green goofs at the Baltimore Sun (Who Cares That The City Was Nuked in "Sum Of All Fears?" Nobody will miss it anyway) seem determined to attract only the most discriminating and colorful responses for their "Eco Sin" confessions.

Enjoy!

 

Thanks to Veeshir

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Okay, fiddled with some settings

Let me know if our crapblog starts giving you any issues, loading slow or whatever.

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I Just Found Lulu's New Soccer Team

The Green Death: (emphasis mine)

Okay, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death is not a team but a family (some say cult) that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110 percent at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball, and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull.

Some say soccer at this age is about fun, and I completely agree. I believe, however, that winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the W in each game. Although we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseous), I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. As I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal-liability BS, which included a thirty-minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps and bruises, even bleed a little. Big deal; it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistles. My heckling of the refs actually helps them develop as people. The political-correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth are becoming fat, lazy, and noncompetitive because competition is viewed as “bad.” I argue that competition is crucial to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second-place trophies are nothing to be proud of. They serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Don’t animals eat what they kill? (And yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat—it isn’t grown in plastic wrap.) And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat, and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.

I find it hard to believe that is for real but I mostly agree with the guy's sentiments. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:20 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Time To Abolish Idiotic Cold Medicine Restrictions

Turns out (SURPRISE!) the drug addicts went and figured out a better way to make meth that doesn't require as much psuedophedrine or an elaborate manufacturing process. 

But now drug users are making their own meth in small batches using a faster, cheaper and much simpler method with ingredients that can be carried in a knapsack and mixed on the run. The "shake-and-bake" approach has become popular because it requires a relatively small number of pills of the decongestant pseudoephedrine — an amount easily obtained under even the toughest anti-meth laws that have been adopted across the nation to restrict large purchases of some cold medication.

"Somebody somewhere said 'Wait this requires a lot less pseudoephedrine, and I can fly under the radar,'" said Mark Woodward, spokesman for the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs Control.

An Associated Press review of lab seizures and interviews with state and federal law enforcement agents found that the new method is rapidly spreading across the nation's midsection and is contributing to a spike in the number of meth cases after years of declining arrests.

So, the restriction that inconveniences everyone (full disclosure, I have a cold right now) is now totally ineffective.  Of course, they're probably not going to remove the restriction, probably just ban it outright because what's the first rule of Government Regulations? 

We NEVER roll back Government Regulations.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:14 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Battery Energy Drink?

I often find it amazing which markets various companies choose to enter.  Case in point:  Duracell Energy Drink:

Yes, Duracell has an energy drink—with a masterful coppertop can design—that's actually been out in the Czech market since 2008.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:06 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Make Water Flow Uphill

This is a pretty cool illusion.  If I had any time or talent, I'd probably try to build one.

This fountain, which appeared at the Royal Horticultural Society's recent Chelsea Flower Show, was designed by noted British vacuum sexifier James Dyson. Inspired by Escher's "Waterfall," Dyson's "Wrong Garden" incorporates a clever design to create the illusion that water flows up each of the four ramps before cascading over the end.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:04 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Moron of the Day: Like My New Troll Says

As my name says I am a moron. i have nothing better to do than post an article that is over 1 month old.  I HAVE NO LIFE.  Im an idiot . my name is Moron pundit

It is true.  I have no life.  And I love nothing more than to post old links. 

Here's one:

But on Tuesday, McWilliams broke in, damaging both the front door and a window to get into the home. Shastany said more than $250 worth of damage was done to the door and window.

"He broke into the house and used the computer to pay some bills," Shastany said.

He then took out the trash, broke into the garage and washed the car and kicked in the bedroom door to give her a foot massage.

How about some urn selection fail:

His homemade, 7-foot barber pole, made out of Styrofoam, mesh, stucco and some light metal materials, was stolen while he was inside his shop cutting hair, reports TCPalm.com

Alas, the ball of the pole also contained some of his deceased mother’s ashes.

Now that's a classy place to spend eternity.

And finally, some awesome media fail:

"We thought it was true so we printed it without checking," associate editor Hasanuzzuman Khan told the AFP news agency.

"We didn't know the Onion was not a real news site."

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:27 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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B-but, he's not George Bush!

Well, who could have possibly seen this coming?

Bristling with impatience, President Barack Obama sternly prodded Israeli and Palestinian leaders to relaunch Mideast peace negotiations Tuesday, grasping a newly personal role in their historic standoff. He won an awkward, stone-faced handshake but no other apparent progress beyond a promise to talk about more talks.

Unfortunately, there happens to be a side in the negotiations that is intractable and wants to drive the other side into the sea. But Obama "won" something, huh? What he "won" was equal to a "Participant" trophy as far as foreigners might be concerned, especially since he's junking our standing in the world, but, hey, a win is a win, huh?

Yeah.

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Pro-Honduras Rally In STL Tonight

Not surprisingly, the STL media avoided the gathering. But Jim at Gateway Pundit was there, with hot girly action.

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Warning, Morons ahead!

More funneh signs here.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:21 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Public Service Announcement

Toothpaste will clean Sharpie marker off of laptop keyboards, eyeglass lenses, and 60-inch LCD television screens.

Posted by: Alice H at 08:38 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Quote of the Day: Sexytime

Quote of the day is Reason's headline for a blog post entitled....
"Gwen Ifill: I Did Not Know "Teabagging" Meant Sexytime"

This Quote of the Day was almost overshadowed by the first comment on that post:

"The poor Reason intern who had to do a Google image search on "teabagging" finally came through with a winner after viewing thirty pages of gay porn.

He (or she) paid the ultimate price for libertarian journalism."

Indeed.

(NTTAWWT...?)
(via @JTlol)

Posted by: JoeCollins at 07:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Will attack for ratings.

You've seen the story at Hot Air about Joe Scarborough going after Glen Beck because he's not afraid of the right wing nuts.

Well that, or he hopes they'll tune in and give him some ratings.
I expect him to make up some filthy lies to get Beck's attention.
Like, oh, say accusing him of drinking blended puppies or something.

Hey, it's worked before.

Posted by: Veeshir at 05:56 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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