Barack Obama: The Smartest Man On The Face Of The Planet

How smart is he?

So smart, he knows more about the Russian Power Structure than the Russians do.

Putin surrendered the presidency to protege Dmitry Medvedev last May to take the lesser post of prime minister, but most political analysts say Putin remains Russia's ultimate decision maker.

The dual leadership has left foreign leaders to walk a difficult diplomatic tightrope. In line with protocol Obama met Medvedev ahead of talks with the lower ranking Putin.

At a news conference Obama gave a carefully worded reply about the effectiveness of the leadership tandem when a U.S. journalist bluntly asked "who is really in charge here in Russia?"

But minutes later, speaking about Medvedev's objections to a controversial missile defense system planned for central Europe, Obama slipped:

"I suspect when I speak to President..eh.. Prime Minister Putin tomorrow, he will say the same thing."

Once again, I am reminded of the "If a Republican President had said this..." line.

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:39 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Thank You, Slow Joe, For Fucking Up Our Economy Even More

It appears as though Pluggy Joe's recent comments about the economy may not have been what investors wanted to hear.

Shares of major metal manufacturers traded sharply lower Monday, a day after Vice President Joe Biden said the White House “misread” the economy, prompting concerns that an economic recovery could be slower than expected.

...

During the second quarter, commodity prices “went through the roof,” and investors snapped up metal makers stocks on word that the economy was “less bad” than before, he said.

But, now, the market has switched its thinking amid broader concerns about the economy, he said.

Yup. Stick to asking the crippled to walk, Joe.

****CRITICAL, MASSIVE IMPORTANT TO ELEVENTY UPDATE! Rick Santelli lays into Pluggy Joe this morning.****

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:25 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A Story So Stupid, Only Politicians Could Be Involved

So, the dipshits in charge of running the state of Missouri want us to cut down on energy consumption. All well and good, but look at what happens as a result.

Though it might seem illogical, the new energy efficiency charge has support from utilities, most lawmakers, the governor, environmentalists and even the state’s official utility consumer advocate. The charge covers the cost of utilities’ efforts to promote energy efficiency and cut power use.

The assumption is that charging consumers for those initiatives ultimately will cost less than charging them to build the new power plants that will be needed if electricity use isn’t curtailed.

Yeah. Let's see how that ends up.

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:20 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Um, I know I'm not supposed to ask this...

...seeing as how I'm a "Person of Pallor," but, seriously, what's up with the outpouring of grief from the "black community" as far as the death of Michael Jackson is concerned? They had a retrospective of his music at the A.M.E. Church here in L.A. a few days ago, and I've seen countless black people on the news emoting over him and talking about how they're introducing their children (yes, really!) to his music.  Not to mention how Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have managed to get in on this story.

The thing is, well, I'm not the kind of person who's usually hung up on ethnic/racial identity, but has there ever been anyone who has sprinted as far and fast away from who he really was than Michael Jackson?

For example, let's look at this...

And then, more recently...


I think it was Chris Rock who made the joke about Jackson and America being the only place in the world where a poor boy from Gary, Indiana could grow up to be a rich, white woman, but I haven't heard anybody mention anything like that since he died. I know that we're not to speak ill of the dead, but...

...well, I don't know where I'm going with this, really. Should we be colorblind always? Should we look at race when it's sort of weird to do so? Should we all just drink ourselves into oblivion? The answer is probably the latter, but, well, derp. And glug.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:53 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Zombie Kickball!

Zombie kickball, 2009!

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Presented without context

...I can assure you that if I or my friends see you on the subway, your penis will be kicked very hard...

And here I thought the whole thing about New Yorkers being rude and aggressive was just a stereotype.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:17 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Soviet of California's bond rating drops

From A- to BBB, due to their inability to address the state fiscal disaster.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:21 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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You stay classy, Sen. Murkowski

How did I miss this before?  This is her statement, in full, upon learning of Gov. Palin's announcement that she is resigning the governorship:

“I am deeply disappointed that the Governor has decided to abandon the State and her constituents before her term has concluded.”

Sounds like she's a bit too terrified of being primaried the way her father was. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 05:12 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Rocket Surgery FTW!

Blah blah blah recent graduates and kids on summer break can't find work (caution NY Times article)

Actually, this is an interesting point about unemployment numbers and the like. But that's not what caught my eye. This is.

Nice job admitting to underage drinking to the entire universe!  And admitting that your friends are providing alcohol to a minor!  Gooooo you!  Look, it's stupid stupid stupid that the drinking age is 21.  But it is.  Have the sense God gave a rock not to get the NY Times to print that you're blissfully ignoring that. 

Then there's this:

Bingo bango.  This is the generation that were told that they were the best and brightest and everyone they want is theirs, just ask.  (Yes, that's a huge overstatement and I can safely presume the parents in the Moron Horde don't do that)  To be smacked in the face with reality must truly suck.  I've always been thankful that my parents made me work for what I wanted, including standing in the fields picking blueberries with the migrant workers at a family friend's farm.  It's made me very very grateful that I now "work" by sitting on my ass and thinking all day.  But I've always been realistic that sometimes you have to take a shitty job because it pays the bills. 

Look, it sucks for the kids to be in this position.  It really really does.  But mayhap some reality smacking will do some of them some good. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 11:53 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Please Excuse Me While I Don't Give A Flying Fuck

Hey Blue State Fuckylvania dipshits who voted for Hope and Change:

Pay the fuck up, you fucking stupid fucks. You voted for this fucking shit, and now you are going to take it up the ass with a bristle brush to pay for it.

Some of the "bluest" states that propelled Obama into the White House are among those most likely to pay more in taxes to fund expanded health insurance coverage and make other changes to the system, analysts say. People in states such as Illinois, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut and New York have a higher share of wealthier taxpayers and residents who get generous healthcare plans through work -- and both sets of people may be tapped to raise money for the healthcare overhaul.

Moreover, those states have less to gain from a national effort to expand health insurance coverage because their residents already are more likely to have insurance than are Americans as a whole.

Those conclusions by a range of policy analysts may point to future tension in the healthcare debate: Though battle lines so far have been drawn largely in partisan terms, lurking regional divisions could fracture Congress even further.

"New York is going to be asked to pay a lot more taxes, and people in Iowa and Montana will not," said Robert Blendon, a professor of health policy at the Harvard School of Public Health.

My only problem: because of you stupid fucks, my family may have to suffer through shit ass service at thePost Office Style Obama Care  Hope and Change Clinics because of you and your stupidity.

Thanks for the tip.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:36 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Moron of the Day: I Was NOT In California This Weekend

Just about perfect:

Authorities say a drunk, nude Lancaster man covered in his own blood was Tasered and arrested by police as he tried to flee Ventura County Medical Center armed with scissors.

Brought to you by Jagermeister*.

* - To steal a joke by Dave Attell.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:22 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(Prematurely) Grumpy old man rant

Okay, so what the hell is the deal with this "Twitter" crap, anyway?  Seriously, I don't get the appeal.  In my day, when you wanted to say something online, you just put up a blog post. And if you didn't have a blog, you could post a comment online. That's the way it was, AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Back then, we had cell phones, sure, but we just used them to, you know, make phone calls to each other.  If we wanted to say something, we actually spoke to one another.  That's the way it was, AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Oh, sure, if any of us were being crushed by tanks or shot or beaten by thugs who were serving a regime that was trying to suppress information, we would have liked to "Tweet" about it, but that was something that people who already had access to the innertubes used, mostly, when they couldn't be bothered to put up a full post and update their blogs.  But, that's the way it was, AND WE LIKED IT!!!

(Seriously, though, what the fuck is the appeal of this Twitter thing?)

(Seriously?  I don't get it.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:48 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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More Uighurs Must Be Angling For A Trip To Paradise, And Not The 72 Virgins Type

Jon at Exurban League tweets that the Uighurs may be stirring some shit up again.
Hmm...seeing as how the USA and Britain are paying for those four Uighurs to live in Paradise on Earth in the Caribbean, these folks must believe that they can get the same treatment.

Can you blame them? If the choices were an all expense paid trip to the beaches of the Caribbean, living as an oppressed minority in China, or having to live with 72 women for all time, with no hope for anything better, wouldn't you pick a trip to Gitmo, Bermuda, or Palau?

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:44 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Remember how excited you all knew I was going to be when McCain named Palin as his VP?

Yeah, I've felt the exact opposite of that the past three days, and that's that.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:11 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Do we get to vote?

Remember the Elvis stamp from a few years ago? Where we got to vote on whether it would depict the "young Elvis" or the "fat Elvis"? I can only hope that if this comes to pass, we get to vote on "young, dynamic pop star who recorded some of the biggest hits of the eighties" or "bleached-out, drug-addicted scarecrow and child molester." I'd go with the latter, personally.

You know, I hate Rev. Al with all the white-hot passion of a million suns going supernova, but I'll be damned if I don't admire his ability to weasel his way into this whole thing.

(Okay, "admire" isn't quite the right word, but you know what I mean.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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This is a NEPA thing mainly for DPud

Dude, Weis is carrying beer now!  Gooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

To make this vaguely umm topical or some such, this is a win for consumer rights over the state sticking its nose into a place where it doesn't belong.  There's no rational explanation for why I can't buy a six pack at Wal-Mart.  Though I will say, I did find it a bit disturbing that I could pick up alkiehol at the gas station when I lived in Ohio.  Bit of a mixed message there. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 07:26 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Now We Know Why Pixy Sometimes Has "Computer Problems"

Especially since wine is cheaper than water.

The price collapse and overplanting has forced Australia's biggest winemaker, Foster's, owner of prestigious labels such as Lindemans and Penfolds, to sell 31 vineyards across the country, including 16 in South Australia and nine in New South Wales.

Major wine retailer Dan Murphy's is currently selling cleanskins for $1.99 a bottle - cheaper than some bottled water - due to the oversupply crisis that has led to some vineyard owners leaving grapes to wither on the vine.

"We've seen growers who didn't bother picking their grapes this year," said wine industry critic and judge Stuart Gregor.

 "There is a huge oversupply and we have more grapes than we are selling, and prices are being pushed down."

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A Question To The Palin Haters In The GOP

I am not going to waste much time complaining about the vicious attacks on Palin from the left. They have defended and will defend their photoshops or frivolous ethics complaints not by answering the charges directly, instead deflecting to the “she deserves it because she made her life front and center” (ignoring their own times where we were told to leave Democrats’ very visible private lives alone), blah blah blah. Actually, the disgusting nature of their attacks does not surprise me, since that is their raison d’etre, and to do otherwise would cause me to wonder about them.

No, by now I believe you realize that my anger is at those on our side who either did nothing, or openly sided with the haters on the left, for reasons they can only explain. To them, I ask:

YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW, FUCKFACE? Seriously, what do/did you want now that Palin is gone? You got your wish, she is probably gone for good. Now, what do you have to offer? Who do you support?

How about telling us, defending your decisions, and going from there? Or, is that too much to ask?

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:06 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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The Obama administration can't read

Pluggy Joe sticks his foot in it again.

"We misread how bad the economy was, but we are now only about 120 days into the recovery package," Biden added. More jobs will be created in coming months, he said.

We're actually 132 days into the recovery package - apparently this ten percent underestimation is another example of the stellar math coming from the Obama administration.

Uh, Plugs, have you actually looked at how many jobs the Obama administration has created? Geoff has created a graph that even cretins like you should be able to understand:



In other words, Plugs, you haven't created shit.  If we get any 'more' of what your administration is serving up, we're going to be in double digit unemployment in short order.

Congratulations on admitting publicly the Obama administration's economic illiteracy - the first step to curing ignorance is admitting it.  Now that you've fessed up to what the rest of us have known all along - that the Obama administration is clueless about economics - could you please start listening to some people who actually know something about how to fix an ailing economy?  Seriously, just because you have no fucking idea about how to financially plan - we just have to look at your personal financials to see that - that doesn't mean you have to wreck the rest of the country to put us in the same position you're in.  Could you maybe start looking at some history and see what pulled us out of the economic morass of the 1970s?  I understand that Obama was still in grade school in the 70s, but you and your hair plugs are old enough to remember the mess the country was in, thanks to the same economic policies the Obama administration is implementing.  Pluggy Joe, do you really think that all we needed to pull us out of that mess was for the banks to more freely lend to people who can't afford to pay their bills anyway, for economic restrictions to be put on corporations that create jobs so that not only can the corporations not afford to grow, they will have to raise prices on the average schmuck who can barely afford to pay his bills as it is.  And then you're going to vilify the corporations for not pitching in enough!

Pluggy Joe, is this really how you think you're going to fix the economy, by taking from the people who really save and create jobs?  The only thing that is going to save your administration from going down in history as the administration who destroyed the American financial system is that you're doing such a good job of it, you're pretty much ensuring no second term, so you won't have time to completely wreck things.  Generations ahead will be paying for your administration's economic illiteracy, but keep torpedoing things for us, Plugs, so in three and a half years people who have actually bothered to educate themselves can step in and mop up the mess where you've piddled all over yourself and us. 

Posted by: Alice H at 10:18 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Awesome: Joey Chestnut wins the Nathan's Famous hot dog eating competition

USA! USA! USA!

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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