For Alexthechick...

A great reason to visit Vienna*.

* - Please send all hate mail to Rachel Lucas.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:18 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.

How about we don't?

So. Ezra Klein decided he gets to set the rules for using the CBO report to criticize the Dems healthcare plan.

Let me think really really hard *taps chin*. How about you bite me, Ezra?  Sure, it's nice when someone opposing a plan proposes an alternative.  But it's not a requirement.  Plus there's the fact that I don't remember you getting elected as Healthcare Debate God.  So.  You know.  See re:  bite me. 

This is one of the things that I detest the most, these attempts to claim that debates on issues must only take place in certain ways.  Yeah.  No.  Not at all.  Someone here at work who is not overly political was going on and on and on about illegal immigration (she's against it).   She made a comment that there's going to be hell to pay soon.  I asked her why and she began telling me all about how her friends and family are sick and tired of being told that their concerns are not only irrelevant but wrong.  I know, I know, the plural of anecdote is not data but there sure as hell seems to be a lot of people out there furious about how our elected representatives are acting.  Hell, a local state rep around here is now in a world of hurt due to the self-dealing that's being uncovered.  And this is a guy who is considered untouchable.  There was a protest yesterday and one of the leaders commented that he's sick of the politicians acting like they're nobles.  There's a lot of that feeling going around and I think the backlash is coming.

Hmmm.  That wandered a bit.  Just imagine a nice IDF babe here to make up for it.

Posted by: alexthechick at 12:16 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 291 words, total size 2 kb.

Totally ripping off a comment here

Veeshir posted in comments:

I was hoping someone had posted the link here, but it's not, so I"m going OT (yeah, I should get my own freaking blog).

I'm sure you've all seen how they're looking for a "humor in the workplace" expert at Treasury.

Do you realize what they're actually doing is looking for a "Funniest End of Civilization Ever" Czar?

Finally, a useful czar.

Posted by: Veeshir at July 17, 2009 09:59 AM (zXUuJ)

I'm thinking each and every conservative humor blogger needs to apply for this position. With that many applications, it's quite likely that they'll accidentally hire one of you funny guys.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:07 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 112 words, total size 1 kb.

Nope, nothing wrong here

A radical Islam group that rejects democracy, rejects the state of Israel, and is only against violence because they feel it would be beneficial to wait the caliphate to come and lead the jihad is having its very first conference in America!  Yay diversity!

Posted by: Alice H at 09:58 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 48 words, total size 1 kb.

No Excuses! No Excuses!

Um, WTF? Obama has to work two weeks on a speech about race relations? That's longer than it took to pass the stimulus recovery what the hell are they calling it now? bill. You'd think this might be something he could actually speak on extemporaneously.

Rousing up his audience, Obama offered his most direct speech on race since winning the White House, a mix of personal reflection and policy promotion. He worked on it for about two weeks and revised it until shortly before he spoke, his aides said, underscoring the importance of his message and his audience.

"No one has written your destiny for you," he said to "all the other Barack Obamas out there" who could one day grow up to be president. "Your destiny is in your hands, and don't you forget that. That's what we have to teach all of our children! No excuses! No excuses! If someone as unqualified as I am can make it to the White House, each and every one of you can be president too!"

I might have made that last part up.

Either Obama doesn't recognize that he was put in office largely because of the color of his skin and not despite it, or he really thinks he's qualified and doing a good job of leading the country. Obama's ultimately doing more damage to race relations and the potential for a future minority president than I think he realizes - what message is sent if the first black president turns the nation into a welfare nanny state? And WTF is wrong with the Democratic party that they couldn't find a stronger, more experienced, more competent minority candidate to run for office? Since they're the party of the minorities, shouldn't they have been able to pick the cream of the crop to run?

Posted by: Alice H at 09:15 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 306 words, total size 2 kb.

Greatest Internet Home Video Ever?

Saw it on Tosh.0 and it is fantastic.

Tosh.0	Thurs, 10pm / 9c
Motorcycle Granny
www.comedycentral.com
Daniel Tosh Miss Teen South Carolina Demi Moore Picture

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 07:25 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 24 words, total size 3 kb.

Figures

Why doesn't this surprise me?  Cannot stand Derbyshire.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:24 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 9 words, total size 1 kb.

Worst tattoo ever

Seriously, worst tattoo ever.  Especially when you realize that you're not looking at what you think you're looking at.  Behind the cut for bad taste.

Pic courtesy of myconfinedspace.  That's a completely, totally NSFW link, by the way.
more...

Posted by: Alice H at 10:54 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

It's Official: Detroit Now Is More Of A Failed State Than Most Third World Countries

Somalia just called and said, "Damn. You Guys are fucked up!"

Low-priority crimes like breaking and entering {what do these fuckwits consider "high priority"?-ed.}might not be prosecuted and the conviction rates will continue to decline if the proposed budget for the Wayne County Prosecutor’s Office is approved, Prosecutor Kym Worthy told commissioners this morning.

“We can’t even cover our courtrooms anymore,” Worthy said in vehemently disagreeing with the $28-million general fund budget proposed for the prosecutor’s office by Wayne County Executive Robert Ficano. “At some point, if the budget continues to be cut, we’re going to have to start making decisions about what crimes we prosecute.”

Oh. This should be fucking awesome. I sense an entrepreneurial opportunity here. Why not bring Robogeisha, Alex's Boots, MP's Facecocking, and the arsenal of Russ from Winterset up to Michigan, and create our own version of the A-Team before Snake, Chef From South Park, and Adrienne Barbeau's hooters show up? If the shitrags in Detroit are basically admitting that Anarchy Rulz, why not get in on the action?

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:23 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 189 words, total size 1 kb.

Behold The Checks, Balances, And Oversight From Our Elected Leaders

Sadly, this clusterfuck was and is predictable.

Good thing we have an alert, investigative media that is willing to speak truth to power and hold our elected representatives accountable. No doubt they will be all over this clip like Josh Marshall on a donor's jockstrap.

And I'll be able to fit into my wife's Catholic All-Girl High School Uniform.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:14 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 69 words, total size 1 kb.

Play matchmaker for me

So we've finally decided to trade in hubby's money pit of an Eclipse, and we've decided we're getting me a new-to-me SUV/crossover (yay!) and he'll drive my current Jeep for a while until we get him something new.  We're trying to decide what to get, and since morons are the smartest people in the world, I thought I'd ask youse guys.

Here are my criteria:

1. Near or under $20K
2. Under 40K miles
3. Third row seat, leather interior
4. American or American made, and by that I don't mean American-made by government standards, I mean most or all of the parts are made in America and it's assembled in America.
5. 4WD or AWD, 6-cylinder minimum engine.  Gas mileage is a consideration but takes a back seat to being able to get where I need to get when I need to get there.
6. Not a company that received a government bailout, which rules out Chrysler and GM products.  Yeah, I know I'm buying used so it shouldn't matter, and my mechanic even offered to only buy aftermarket parts, but I want to drive a car whose brand I believe in.

I've really enjoyed my Jeep Cherokee and Grand Cherokee that I've driven over the past 7 years, to give you an idea of what I prefer.  A really rugged minivan would be OK, as long as the $20K price tag included the money to get a custom flame job.

Update: Don't try to sell me your car unless you're 1) willing to take an Eclipse Spyder convertible  that looks great but breaks down like clockwork (to the tune of at least $1K a repair) for trade-in, and b) you're offering financing.  Yeah, we could go to our bank, but I hate legwork.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:07 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 299 words, total size 2 kb.

I, for one, welcome our new Giant Mystery Blob Overlord

Perhaps, if we demonstrate our obedience, it will eat us last...

It's big, it's black, it's gooey and it may be alive.

[...]

No one in the North Slope towns of Barrow and Wainwright can recall ever seeing anything like it.

Jellyfish and sea birds are getting caught up in the sticky, stinky stuff, which according to one official "has hairy strands on it."

Aaaaand this somehow gets blamed on Sarah Palin in 3...2...1...

Update: In addition to being a squish and a whiny crybaby, now he's stealing my jokes, damnit!

(Of course it's possible that he came up with the joke on his own, but I like to think that undeservedly high-traffic bloggers steal material from me.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 127 words, total size 1 kb.

Someone call Jenny McCarthy

Maybe if we get the autism loons riled up about this too, we can get the health care bill killed.

The healthcare reform bill approved this week by a Senate committee contains language that allows state authorities to intervene in a citizen’s home to ensure that both adult and children family members are properly immunized, according to a report by CNSNews. The Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pension Committee issued a press release this week that summarizes some of the bill’s language. According to the summary, the bill “authorizes a demonstration program to improve immunization coverage. Under this program, CDC [Centers for Disease Control] will provide grants to states to improve immunization coverage of children, adolescents, and adults through the use of evidence-based interventions. “States may use funds to implement interventions that are recommended by the Community Preventive Services Task Force, such as reminders or recalls for patients or providers, or home visits.”

Lots more good stuff at the link.

Posted by: Alice H at 08:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 160 words, total size 1 kb.

Litmus test

Single guys and gals, show this clip to your dates. (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here and assuming that you manage to slip some poor unsuspecting soul some roofies, tie him/her up, drag him/her to your basement, and pretend to have a date, at least once a year.) In three minutes and seventeen seconds, you'll know whether it's worth kidnapping them again a second date by whether his/her head explodes or he/she starts applauding.

(h/t IOwnTheWorld)

Posted by: Alice H at 07:45 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 81 words, total size 1 kb.

This may be more awesome than Robogeisha

h/t the BFF.  Who may be a Commie but who loves me and likes to make me flail on trillian. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 07:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

Where is the stimulus money going?

You have to see this graph to really grasp how fucking ridiculous the whole thing is. 

Of the $29 billion spent this year, 90 percent has gone to assist Medicaid and to stabilize tottering state budgets, according to the report. That’s not just job creation — that’s emergency rescue, a fiscal crutch propping up our humpback deficit-ridden states.

No wonder the unemployment rate dropping so quickly.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 72 words, total size 1 kb.

It's Thursday, so it must be time for...

ROBOGEISHA!!!!!!!!!

No new stills yet, sorry.  I'm watching for them daily, though, and as soon as some come out, they will be posted, I promise.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:18 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 2 kb.

Rep. John Fleming, you magnificent bastard

The Congressman from Louisiana has introduced a resolution forcing Congress into the same hell as the rest of us. It'll never reach vote, but well played, sir.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 11:46 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

Big surprise: Obamacare bill would ban private insurance

This was on page 16, the bill is over 1,000 pages long, they'd also ban the increasingly popular health savings accounts (HSA).  Unbelievable.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:26 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

An important question

If you had the opportunity to ask someone who's likely going to be deciding important legal issues at the highest level of our judiciary for (perhaps) the rest of her life, what would you ask?  Something about her judicial philosophy? Maybe a question about her past rulings from the bench?  Anything related to the legal field in one way or another?

Yeah, you would probably ask about something like that.  But if you happened to be a Democrat Senator from Minnesota who was intent on playing cutesy-poo with Barack Obama's first Supreme Court pick, you'd probably go in a different direction.

(And the fact that I'm not even talking about Al Fucking Franken here just reinforces my inclination to take off and nuke the entire state from orbit.  It's the only way to be sure.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:44 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 138 words, total size 1 kb.