Ever Wonder About How Zombie Brain Activity Works?

Well, wait no longer.

Absent a properly functioning frontal lobe, a zombie is driven entirely by base emotions - such as rage - that are housed in the primitive parts of our brain, notably the amygdala. There's precedence for this in nature. A crocodile brain, for instance, is mostly driven by the amygdala. Researchers have confirmed this by introducing lesions into the amygdala of animal specimens: the result is a drop in the attack and retreat response that correlates significantly with the amount of damage that's done to that region of the brain. A crocodile without an amygdala isn't really a crocodile. As such, Schlozman argues, "you can't really be mad at zombies, because that's like being mad at a crocodile," adding that it's the delicate balance between frontal lobe and amygdala "that makes us human."

That balance is maintained by the anterior cingulate cortex, which modulates and dampens the excitability of the amygdala as it talks to the frontal lobe. So, when the amygdala gets all stirred up by fear, anger or lust, the anterior cingulate cortex steps on it a little bit, giving the frontal lobe time to think everything through before it sends signals toward the motor cortex and we act upon those impulses.

A zombie would have a dysfunctional anterior cingulate cortex, rendering it unable to modulate feelings of anger. The result? Hyper-aggression.

Well, considering most zombies just lurch, could you really call that "hyper-aggression"?

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:37 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I may not respect the man...

...but I at least respect the office:



Look, the odds that I'll ever be within ten feet of President Obama are slim to nil, tending more toward the latter, but if I ever was to get that close, you can be damn sure I wouldn't be wearing sneakers and an un-tucked shirt, much less...flip-flops. Seriously, what the fuck is going on with the guy in the foreground? Have we gone through some sort of wormhole where corporate "casual Friday" rules don't even apply when you're talking to the leader of the free world?

Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably the guy who's running one of our banks or automakers now. After cutting his teeth as a college dropout campaign worker.

The pic comes via noted "conservative" Andrew Sullivan (no link, of course) who is clearly still pining for his kewl imaginary baby daddy...

I can't imagine many previous [presidents] just hanging out like this "outside the U.S. Ambassador's residence in Paris". So sue me, Mr Hanson. There's something natural about this guy that evokes real support and affection. And that bond is not fraying. In some ways, it's deepening.

*barf*

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:32 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Outrage in the Great White North

There's an evil Canadian corporation that seems to be set to deprive its trusty retirees of a key benefit:

"There was no consultation, we just received a letter that this is a done deal, which is totally unfair," Bill Bavis, who retired six years ago after 32 years at Molson's in St. John's, Newfoundland, told the Star. "I think with the economic downturn they're trying to take advantage of us, as a way to cut retirees' benefits and justify it."

Is it health care? No, they get "free" health care from the government (just like we're about to—yay!). Is it their pensions? No, it's something much more important. Click here to find out what it is, and prepare to be filled with the rage of a billion white-hot suns.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:56 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Things Turning In Pakistan?

I don't put too much stock in any of the organizations involved in this piece but the material itself is rather promising:

"No Taliban should go unharmed," agreed Asma Arshad, 23, a college student in the central city of Multan. "The killing of Taliban is good for Islam and it is good for Pakistan."

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 05:07 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Moron Pundit for President!

I have a dirty secret. 

I'm not a Republican.  Never have been.  While I have, with every opportunity provided, voted for Republicans I can say with great pride that I've never actually joined the party.

Why?  Well, for the only good reason there is:  I don't agree with their politics.  Sure they're slightly to the right of the Democrats on several issues and I find I'm more ideologically aligned with their leadership and principal cheerleaders but when it comes down to it they (and the Democrats, natch) fail completely to gain my single-issue vote.

No major political party is devoted to protecting my freedom above all other considerations.  For that reason, when I run for President in the 2016 election* I cannot align myself with either established party but must run as an independent under the banner of a new party called The American Emancipation Party**.

It is said that John Adams' original draft of the Declaration of Independence had, instead of Jefferson's questionable affirmation of our equality, the far more valuable statement, "All men are created equally free and independent."  That shall be the motto of this party and the goal of government if I'm in charge.  The entire system of governance will be directed toward the goal of maximizing your freedom and allowing the natural genius of human innovation to provide for the common welfare.

Let's be honest, both parties want to control your life.  They just want to do it from different directions.  Democrats*** want to destroy your economic freedom, your freedom to hate things or behave stupidly or have unpopular opinions.  The Republicans*** want to control who you get married to or who you have sex with or what types of research you can pursue.

They both argue till they are blue about which ways they should be able to control you and how the other side is fascistic for wanting to control you in their different, evil way.  Question:  Which ways would you like a bloated Federal Government to control you? 

Answer: Fuck you, that's which. 

In the coming months (and maybe years) I will lay out the platform of the American Emancipation Party and show you how a strict adherence to the superior importance of LIBERTY is the only way to produce a government that is equitable, prosperous and safe.

God Bless America!  Now, where is a baby I can kiss?

* - Am I joking?  Can a pseudonymous individual run for President?  Is this for real?  I'm not saying.  What I will say is that the goal of this experiment is to get people talking about issues and policy and not about people and parties. In pursuit of that goal, I'm as serious as a heart attack. 

** - All the good party names are taken, of course.

*** - I don't necessarily agree entirely with these characterizations without the disclaimer that they only apply to wings within the parties and certainly not every member of them.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:08 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I Thought Sarah Palin Was A Dumb Snowbilly Who Couldn't Get Anything Accomplished

Well, I may have to reevaluate that statement in light of this announcement.

From a press release:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – June 11, 2009 – TransCanada Corporation (TSX, NYSE: TRP) (TransCanada) today announced that TransCanada and ExxonMobil have reached an agreement to work together on an Alaska gas pipeline.

TransCanada’s Alaska Pipeline Project is designed to deliver a reliable and secure source of clean energy to markets for decades to come. With an initial forecasted capital cost of US$26 billion, the project would provide a variety of benefits to Alaska and Canada, as well as the rest of the United States, including substantial revenues, jobs, business opportunities and new, long-term stable supplies of natural gas.

“TransCanada’s Alaska Pipeline Project will connect Alaska’s natural gas resource to new markets. We are pleased that TransCanada and ExxonMobil have reached agreement on initial project terms to progress this exciting initiative,” said Hal Kvisle, TransCanada president and chief executive officer. “TransCanada envisions that our combined activities with ExxonMobil, along with the support of the State of Alaska, the U.S. and Canadian governments, and other interested parties, will result in the timely completion of the project. Today’s announcement is an important step toward that goal.”

Rich Kruger, president of ExxonMobil Production Company, said, “ExxonMobil and TransCanada have the experience, expertise and financial capability to undertake this project. We have on-the-ground knowledge of Alaska and Canada, experience working in the Arctic, a strong history of technology and innovation, and the proven ability to build and operate projects of enormous scale in the most challenging environments.”

Posted by: eddiebear at 02:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Name That Party! Holocaust Museum Shooter Edition!

Yup.

“The anti-semitism of von Brunn is the first thing one notices when visiting these bizarre websites. However, like those of most “white supremacists”, many of von Brunn’s political views track “Left” rather than “Right.” Clearly, a re-evaluation of these obsolete definitions is long overdue.

For example, he unleashed his hatred of both Presidents Bush and other “neo-conservatives” in online essays. As even some “progressives” such as the influential Adbusters magazine publicly admit, “neoconservative” is often used as a derogatory code word for “Jews”. As well, even a cursory glance at “white supremacist” writings reveals a hatred of, say, big corporations that is virtually indistinguishable from that of anti-globalization activists.

James von Brunn’s advocacy of 9/11 conspiracy theories also gives him an additional commonality with individuals on the far-left.

None of this will surprise readers of Jonah Goldberg’s bestseller Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Change , which clearly demonstrates that “fascism” of the kind advocated by the British National Party (BNP) and the likes of James W. von Brunn is just as likely to reflect “leftwing” views as “rightwing” ones.”

Funny. I bet this little tidbit will be all over the news tonight.

Thanks.

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:53 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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What a way to memorialize someone

Pink Elephant Pundit wrote a headline I'll never be able to match. 

Since Planned Parenthood receives federal funding, these are abortions that each and every one of us got to pay just a little bit more for. And guys, you didn't even get laid for the privilege.

I'm sure some of you will be drooling over her, since besides being a smart non-feminist feminist blogger, she's a cutie.  So Tabitha, when you happen over here to see where all the slavering morons asking for pictures of your shoes are coming from, consider this an apology.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:24 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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40% of Republicans not happy with GOP

I'd like to see a breakdown of that, moderate vs conservative.  In any case, it shows what a bunch of incompetent fucksticks the GOP leadership is composed of, they ought to be poised to destroy the Democrats in 2010, and they're already behind in the VA governor's race. 

I think if the GOP leadership can't get their shit together by 2010 or 2012, there's either going to be a major purging of the current GOP leadership, or a significant third party will emerge in response in a way that will rattle the DC establishment in a profound manner. 

Conservatives as a general rule don't want their lives to revolve around government and politics, so it isn't an environment that we're comfortable being in.  All that said, conservatives are beginning to feel cornered and overwhelmed, and will soon see no other alternative but to get fully involved in politics, as campaign workers, as operatives, as strategists, as activists, as candidates.  Conservatives aren't going to be happy about it, either.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:17 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Obama Shows Israel The Soles Of His Feet; Israel Set To Show Obama Its Pimp Hand

Good thing Bibi is in office.

Netanyahu's refusal to commit to a building freeze in Jewish settlements in the occupied West Bank and to endorse the goal of establishing a Palestinian state -- both set out in a 2003 peace "road map" -- has opened a rare rift in U.S.-Israeli relations.

Signalling the direction Netanyahu could take when he delivers his policy speech on Sunday, Israeli President Shimon Peres raised in a meeting with a European envoy the possibility of an interim Palestinian state with provisional borders.

That option, which has been rejected by the Palestinians, is part of the road map, a plan backed by Washington.

Briefing their counterparts in the Quartet of Middle East mediators after talks with Netanyahu, U.S. officials voiced scepticism he would make the clear, far-reaching and tangible commitments on settlements or statehood that Obama has sought, participants said on condition of anonymity.

"The Americans are not satisfied with what they have been told," a senior Western diplomat said.

Netanyahu wants to negotiate a compromise whereby Washington would permit at least some "natural growth", or construction within existing settlements to accommodate growing families, but, so far, Obama has refused to back down, diplomats said.

Well, nice to see Reuters is blaming Israel again.

As an aside, I have no idea if Obama's "soles of my feet" photo was intentionally an insult to Israel. Personally, I think he is just trying to further that "cool cat" persona. But then again, any time Israel tells Western diplomats to pound sand, it's all good.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:02 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Ruh-Roh, we're slipping

#36 this time around...the Moron-in-Chief dropped a few spots too, as I'm looking. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:41 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Top Ten Rejected Late Show Monologue Jokes

I started writing this post with intentions of making a bunch of jokes about current news stories that were in as bad taste as Letterman's statutory rape joke but I had to stop.

Turns out that each of the 'jokes' I wrote were depressingly unfunny and completely over all lines of common decency and decorum. 

The lesson?  If someone with as sick a sense of humor as me can't laugh at my own jokes in that vein, it is clear that Letterman went way, way over the line. 

I'd demand that he be punished but I think being a washed-up, unfunny, miserable comedian is punishment enough.  I'd stop watching his show but I haven't been masochistic enough to watch it in years.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:30 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Virginia: You are officially teh stoopid.

Honestly, after Govs. Warner and Kaine, you still believe that a "conservative" Democrat* will govern from the center. 

Really Virginia, really?

One of the best things about living in the District is the knowledge that I'll never be let down by Republicans being tricked into supporting a Democrat who says they're conservative.  Our Democrats are crack addicts and they still get elected.

*Who is pro-choice, for increased taxes, and in the pocket of the NEA, natch.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:23 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Virginia to Begin Segregating Lesbians In Prison?

Yes! My exhaustive internet research for "women + lesbians+ prison" led to this story, and it is actually newsworthy.

They say dozens were moved in an attempt to split up relationships and curb illegal sexual activity at the 1,200-inmate Fluvanna Correctional Center for Women in Troy. Some straight women were sent to the wing strictly because of their appearance.

Civil rights advocates called the moves unconstitutional punishment for "looking gay."

Fluvanna Warden Barbara Wheeler denied that any housing decisions were made based on looks or sexual orientation, and said doing so would be discriminatory.

Inmates said life in the so-called "butch wing" or "locker room wing" wasn't much different than other units. But both inmates and employees said the unit was locked down more often than others, and the women said they were verbally harassed by staff.

Lawsuits to begin in 3..2..1...

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:56 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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PA to have Official State Rifle?

The Pennsylvania Long Rifle, as if there was any doubt.  Here's a demo of one being loaded and fired. 

They're pretty damned accurate for such an old rifle, a skilled rifleman could shoot them accurately out to 250+ yards.  We totally need an official state rifle.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:27 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Since there was Bad Fashion

I give you Good Fashion.



Waaaaaant. You know, I'm not usually a Louboutin fan but damn. Between those and the Stompy Boots just damn.

Posted by: alexthechick at 08:37 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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One of the greatest sentences I've ever read...

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accused his election rivals on Wednesday of adopting smear tactics used by Germany's dictator Adolf Hitler and said they could face jail for insulting him.

Wait... what? 

My favorite thing about dictators is that they are unaware of how perfectly stereotypical they are.  No wonder they are generally viewed with less disdain than they deserve, they are caricatures. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:42 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Under the radar

Carrie Prejean is no longer Miss California, FYI.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:34 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Twitter Spam

Is anyone else getting like a bajillion new followers on Twitter today?  Either this is spam or I should kickstart my impending run for President in 2016* because I'm suddenly at the peak of my fame.

* - I'm not sure I'm kidding at this point.  I mean, I'll have no shot but I'd like to speak loudly as a candidate anyway.  Moron Pundit for President - 2016 (the first year I'm eligible).

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:27 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Horrible

Someone's crazy, anti-Semitic 89-year-old grandpa has gone on a shooting spree at the US Holocaust Museum.  Could someone call Ron Paul's office and make sure he's accounted for?

And, since one of my friends has already called me an ass (seriously) for pointing out how this shooting couldn't have happened due to DC's gun ban, I'll just stop there.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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