Speaking of lube

I bring you a Public Service Announcement:  Boy killed anally when office chair explodes.

Hey, I care about you degenerates and I don't want this to happen to you.

(Note:  people are calling shenanigans on the story but I'm not about to let pesky things like facts and accuracy get in the way of a good joke)

Posted by: alexthechick at 02:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The worst sitcom line-up since the Great Depression

The shows the networks have ordered up so far aren't exactly filled with hopenchange*.

*I'm speaking of the campaign season hopenchange.  The dire synopses are perfectly in line with presidential hopenchange (a.k.a despair).

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:29 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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For the record, I am a chick

Just, you know, a chick that likes to shoot things and watch things blow up.

Mass Effect 2 trailer! Mass Effect 2 trailer!

Shit, I need to play my character up. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:36 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Is she still just considered a "candidate's child"?

In Meghan McCain's world, every Republican (and everything Republican) sucks.  Except dear old dad of course.  He's the model conservative. 

She's following in daddy's footsteps, she is.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Crazy Susan

Meet Senator Susan Collins (R - Bizarroworld):

Miss Collins, who calls herself a fiscal conservative, said her vote was driven by the need to break the impasse on the bill and insert some needed bipartisanship into the process.

"People don't want us to be the party that says no, just no," she said.

Which "People" were telling you that, Susan? I'm gonna go ahead and guess the answer to that question is something along the lines of Barack Obama, David Axelrod, and Rahm Emanuel.  Oh, and maybe a couple of your Senate colleagues.

Fiscal conservative my ass.

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:32 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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DC looks to track your web browsing

Bipartisan FAIL because the Democrats proposed pretty much the same thing a few years ago.  I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, who evokes the Think of The ChildrenTM argument, that'd be Senator Cornyn,

"While the Internet has generated many positive changes in the way we communicate and do business, its limitless nature offers anonymity that has opened the door to criminals looking to harm innocent children," U.S. Sen. John Cornyn, a Texas Republican, said at a press conference on Thursday. "Keeping our children safe requires cooperation on the local, state, federal, and family level."

Yeah, and what about privacy?  What safeguards will be put in place to keep individuals with access to that information from abusing it for political or personal ends?  Our medical records are already compromised, will our web browsing be too? 

Undoubtedly, we need to do what we can to keep predators away from kids online, but these sorts of blanket regulations end up doing very little to advance security for those it's meant to provide security for, the potential for abuse of the information gathered is is too great, and the cost is immense.  The money that would be used for the new bureaucracies and databanks for this plan would be better spent on traditional police work and stings. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:11 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Wait, it's not about alien possession?

Then what in the name of all that's unholy is on Travolta's face?

Posted by: alexthechick at 12:22 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Hope and Change not coming to the Laogai anytime soon

It seems our new administration has some other priorities when it comes to dealing with China:

Making her first trip abroad as secretary of state, Clinton said three of her top priorities in Beijing will be addressing the global economic crisis, climate change and security challenges such as the North Korean nuclear weapons programme.

"Now, that doesn't mean that questions of Taiwan, Tibet, human rights, the whole range of challenges that we often engage on with the Chinese, are not part of the agenda," Clinton told reporters in Seoul before flying to Beijing. "But we pretty much know what they are going to say.

"We have to continue to press them but our pressing on those issues can't interfere with the global economic crisis, the global climate change crisis and the security crises," she added. "We have to have a dialogue that leads to an understanding and cooperation on each of those."

That's right. Human rights, the freedom of the people of Taiwan and Tibet—these things are less important than...Manbearpig.

I agree that we should be working with the Chinese on North Korea in a way that gets something done about the nightmare regime that runs the show there, and that we have to work with them on the global economic crisis, but saying, essentially, "We know what the ChiComs are going to say about some of these issues, so let's not even try" isn't exactly what I would call inspiring leadership.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:37 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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A true hero

Former fellow Coloradan Dan Mosqueda has written a beautiful piece about meeting a Purple Heart recipient at the Pentagon.  I dare you to read it and not tear up.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:53 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Leva action

Heh, seems fellow moronblogger Sean has drawn the ire of a columnist.  Mr. Leva, as you'll soon discover, seems to be of the "can't we all just get along" school of columnists, or is he?

Sean, if you remember, pointed out Mr. Leva's contributing fart in the Limbaugh "I hope Obama fails" tempest, our fellow moronblogger noted the endless bile spewed by the left during the Bush years.  If you'll remember, Rush then went on to offer up an alternative stimulus plan in a column for the Wall Street Journal.  In any case, here's what Leva offers up.  Now, what makes things much easier for us is to wade into the comments of the articles he writes, where Leva comments as Stanley Cup (and adds his real name as his sig). Part of one comment stood out to me, so I've decided to cut it to ribbons,

But to say he only wants his policies to fail but the generator and man behind those policies to succeed is inconsistent, intellectually dishonest, not to mention impossible. Either they both fail, or both succeed period.

So then you want Rush and his policies to fail?  Is that what you're saying?  Sounds like it to me, Todd, and, well, shucks, that ain't too nice, now is it?  By your standards, it sounds like you want Rush to fail.  Of course, you don't have to worry, because Rush, being the stubborn ol' refusing to fail wingnut he is has riled the Marxists, who are now looking to silence him and all of conservative talk radio with a new "Fairness Doctrine".  Undoubtedly they'll find some Vichy Republicans like Specter, the numbskulls from Maine, Voinovich, McCain, or his poodle Graham to sell out again to make sure it happens too.  Haven't seen you speak out on that...wonder why?  You care about the First Amendment, don't you? 

This was not my ultimate point though. I knew writing this, it would draw the ire of the Rush faithful and thats fine, I am a big boy and I can take it. My point was that this whole madness of right v. left, liberal v. conservative, gets us no where except further divided. It never advances the discussion. Arent you tired of it? Arent you tired of such complex problems, such as the ones we face today, being decided along party lines? How well has it worked in the past?

Protip Todd, this left v. right, conservative v. liberal argument comes down to the most basic, yet profound questions humanity faces, and that is what is the nature of humanity?  From there the governing philosophy usually stems, except in simpletons like Specter, McCain or Graham.  Hint Mr. Leva, this is a question we have been struggled with since the earliest moments of human history.  The left and right have a profound difference in how view the essence of human nature, and those differences may well be irreconcilable.  Of course, as someone with a degree in political science, you should know all that already.  *

Today each party decides issues on political points, and how it can be spun to make the other side look like the ill gotten step child of Lucifer. Its now about beating the other side over the head, and winning elections, alls fair in love and war. Whats good for America gets drowned out by all the noise, ranking in importance just behind whats on the Congressional lunch menu. I for one am tired of it.

Todd, do yourself a favor and read some of the pamphlets, editorials and newspapers from some of the earliest American elections.  I think you'll be shocked at how nasty they are.  Then continue through till you get to today, you'll find brief moments of relative peace, but for the most part, you'll find that same nasty tone you lament in your columns.  It's not going anywhere.

This does NOT mitigate true heartfelt disagreement with policies that come out of Washington. If you truly disagree, in an honest fashion, but still have the well being of America as your true goal, then I am your biggest fan. But if your indoctrination has become so deep that you root for your party before your nation, then I feel sorry for you and I hope youll do some self reflection because the nation needs you.

Rush's disagreement isn't heartfelt?  Says who?  You?  Who the fuck are you to question Rush's commitment to what is right for the nation?  This is a guy who devotes his entire day to keeping people who he believes (correctly) don't have the best interests of the nation in mind away from the levers of power in America. 

Isn't Rush doing exactly what you ask of him?  Or is it that you just don't like his tone?  Todd, this is politics, it is life or death.  It is the difference between George Washington and Churchill, Hitler or Kim Jong-il.  It is the difference between living free and prosperous and being herded onto cattle cars to be exterminated by the millions.  It is bloodsport, and there is no problem with language that reflects that. 

Though of course, this is all an exercise in futility, because you, see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Todd Leva is, I regret to inform you is, oh so clearly, an O-bot.  His attempt here in our comments to solidify his "independentness" is his undoing, he links his latest column here, which is yet another bit of lazy "can't we all just get along" pap for the Holland Sentinel.  For starters, let's frame this,

In the most important bill to come on the floors of the House and Senate in recent history, the largest spending bill ever, with our economy teetering and hanging on by a mere thread, our leaders did what they have always done best. They turned it political and split right down party lines. The Democrats kept Republicans out of the meetings where the bill was being crafted. The Republicans were drunk with tax cuts, tax cuts and more tax cuts. The Democrats promised that after the bill was completed it would be put out on the Internet for the general public’s consumption for 48 hours, which never happened. And after all this, a huge 1,100-page bill was introduced, passed and never thoroughly read by every member of the House and Senate.

Hmm, gee, you mean the Democrats weren't gorging themselves on billions in pork and idiotic social programs?  Not to mention downright fascist bullshit like this?  Notice Mr. Leva offers no substantive criticism of what the Democrats added to this abortion of a bill, just the tax cuts the GOP added.  There's a reason for that.  *Oh, guess I should mention this gushing bit of Obama worship now.  So we know he's liberal, or at least left leaning now.  He may be salvageable, though, there are some positive signs if he decides to move beyond mindless hero worship and quit allowing the media to think for him.  You can see where his leftist education and indoctrination kick in here, in part of a comment he makes as Stanley Cup in the comments of the above linked column,

If all else fails some can rally behind the Republican blow hard Rush Limbaugh. At least hes man enough to stand up and say I want to see Obama fail. At least he wears his craven, ideologically soaked, pessimism on his sleeve for all to see. You know where he stands.

Todd clearly hasn't listened to much of Limbaugh, which is typical of Rush's critics.  I started listening to Rush about my senior year of college, just to see what was Rush was about.  I expected, well pretty much what Leva lays out, but with me agreeing with most of what Rush said.  What surprised me was what a positive, optimistic message that Rush was offering up most days.  Yeah, he was cutting Democrats and other assorted liberal vermin to shreds, but Rush always offers a positive, glowing vision for America that very few people are able to articulate to go with it, if you actually spend some time listening to his program.

But what's this?  Our O-bot has some doubts,

Now I will say first and foremost that I am no economist, but the bill just doesn't feel right. I don't see this big huge influx of good jobs coming anytime soon. The thing too that concerns me is the now apparent parsing of words when the Obama administration says that this bill will create or SAVE 3 to 4 million jobs. So lets say it saves 4 million jobs that would otherwise be lost in the future for whatever reason. The bill then does nothing to re-vitalize and replace the millions of jobs lost already? I really cannot stand this type of splitting hairs.

Question:  How the fuck do you gauge "saving 3-4 million jobs?"  Let's just say we lost 10 million jobs in 2009, just to make a number up, Obama can claim we would have lost 13 million without Porkulus, but he can't fucking prove it.  This is what we call bullshit, and a sooper-smart political scientist like Todd ought to be able to cut right through it.  You know better than this, you practically admit as much in this statement, but you can't bring yourself to actually call Dear Leader on his bullshit.

I will say too about the whole Obama-mania thing, that I bought into it. He seems like a charismatic good man, who can think on his feet, and seems genuine. The problem is, and this is what I failed to think about before voting for him and just after his inauguration, was no matter how well intentioned he maybe, he was going to run into a buzz saw of ineptness when dealing with Congress. Congress was and has never been fraught with panic in how to help us, but simply how to get power and re-elected.

Oh, you more than bought into it, and the problem isn't Congress, don't shift blame, you know better. Besides, Obama came out of that clusterfuck of stupidity called Congress.  What makes you think he's any better than the rest, other than his penchant for flowery language (assuming he can see his teleprompter)?  Let me ask this, what do you have to say about Mr. Bipartisan Hopenchange, when during a meeting with the GOP leadership he says I won, and here's what I'm doing?  Bush let that corpulent murdering fucktard Ted Kennedy write his first major bill, that was a shitload more bipartisan than Porkulus and Obama have been. 

Hope and greatness are not going to be delivered to us by the government, we seek them out on our own, during our own personal journies.  If you let the government take charge of your future, it will do so, and rest assured, you will not like the end result.  Click on the FAIL Britannia category here at doubleplusundead.  Crawl back into those archives and look at the soft tyranny taking shape in that once great nation, the soulless stagnation, the dull misery, the pusillaminity, the weakness.  Read through those articles and look at how their Nanny State is destroying all the little joys of life in the name of order, and to be able to pay for state-run social programs and health care. 

How radical muslims are allowed to say whatever the fuck they want, trash neighborhoods and attack people, yet the Brits try and bar Geert Wilders from entering the country for making a fifteen minute video about Islamic terrorism.  How people are disarmed, and thugs run riot on the streets, break into homes, and one can get thrown in jail for daring to fight them off.  Or how about banning smoking in pubs, then banning outdoor heaters after pubowners put them out so their patrons won't freeze?  How about the former Desert Rat who was denied garbage collection for two weeks for committing the grave crime of putting a ketchup bottle in the wrong recycling bin?  We've got tons of these stories from the UK, and there are plenty more we've missed. 

Why are we so vicious in our opposition to Obama and the left?  That is why, we've witnessed and read about the rise and fall of the USSR, and are now watching the slow, agonizing creep of Marxist authoritarianism and Nanny Statism over Western Europe today.  The left is trying to make us walk the same path as Western Europe is now, whether they realize it or not, and are going to bring that nightmare here if we don't stop them.  I want no part of it, and they aren't going to drag us into that gaping maw without a fight.  Deal with it.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 04:57 PM | Comments (38) | Add Comment
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New BlackBerry Storm feature

As some of you already know, I bought a pair of shiny new BlackBerry Storms for me and the hubby about a week ago.  I recently discovered something very useful about it - the phrase "pussy whipped" is already in its dictionary, so when I'm angrily typing I can miss several letters and it will still spell it correctly.

Posted by: Alice H at 02:09 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Shocka! The O-Bots Hate Rick Santelli Of CNBC!

This screed by a Marin County liberal is fairly pedestrian, except for this line, that is popping up more and more in liberal discourse.

Cuba. Oh, dear. Yeah, it’s fun, and colorful and the rant makes for a lot of Twitter and blog buzz. But digging a little deeper, the rhetoric/hysteria a la Fox News is damaging to national discourse.

As for this “moral hazard” business, all I can know for sure is: in my neighborhood of very modest Marin County homes, the mortgage crisis has hit the Hispanic households the hardest. They work hard. They weren’t buying luxury homes. Sure, there were a few speculators. But mostly, they just wanted a little piece of the American dream, especially good schools for their kids and closer proximity to their work.

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:01 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Hope! Change! Being A Deadbeat!

You mean the Magic Unicorns couldn't pay off his party debts?

Here is where I recycle my old "if the Republicans had sone this..." line.

Stacie Paxton, a spokeswoman for the Obama-controlled DNC, explained the reimbursement delay by saying, "We are still looking at various costs and bills.'' She would not say whether parts of the bill are disputed.

The city spent $1 million on police protection for the rally. The Office of Emergency Management and Communications racked up more than $120,000 in expenses, including $19,500 paid to police official Neil Sullivan to quarterback election night logistics.

In late October, Mayor Daley assured that the cash-flush Obama campaign would reimburse the city for every penny spent on the rally. "We have a financial crisis," he said at the time. "The City of Chicago could not afford $2 million on this because we're gonna be laying off people, cutting back. That [cost] would really be unfortunate. . . . It's a huge cost to the City of Chicago.

"This is not a presidential visit. . . . This is a political event, and they've agreed to pay for all those services -- all the expenses of that. ... It's costly, but they raised quite a bit of money. There's no [shortage] of money in that campaign."

The day after the Nov. 4 election, Daley was asked again whether the Obama campaign would pay up.

"Yeah. I don't know why you're so negative. ... What is this? He just won for president, and you say, 'He's not gonna pay his bills,' " the mayor said then.

On Dec. 9, the day the Sun-Times disclosed the $1.74 million tab, Obama spokesman Ben LaBolt referred questions to the DNC.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:40 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Weep for the future

Rich Lowry has a good but depressing column on my home state and Der Governator today:

If the future happens in California, we all should tremble at its ever-expanding debt, falling credit ratings, crushing pension obligations, suffocating regulation, and rising taxes — with environmentally preening, ill-considered restrictions on carbon emissions thrown on top. California Democrats are only slightly ahead of national Democrats, so the country’s fiscal future may be in preview in Sacramento.

Read the whole thing, and pray that Lowry is wrong about the shape of things to come for the rest of you. (Although it's probably too late for that.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:37 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Yawn! Another Poll Ignored By The Media

Honestly, this is starting to get monotonous.

Forty-five percent (45%) of Americans oppose the federal government subsidizing mortgage payments for financially troubled homeowners, according to a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey.

Thirty-eight percent (38%) think government subsidies are a good idea, and 18% are not sure which course is best to follow.

While 61% of Republicans oppose subsidizing mortgages, the plurality of Democrats (48%) support government aid to at-risk homeowners. Among adults not affiliated with either party, 33% favor subsidies, but 45% are against them.

The findings come as President Obama announced on Wednesday a $275-billion taxpayer-backed plan that would help an estimated nine million Americans refinance their mortgage payments or otherwise avoid foreclosure.

A majority (51%), however, say the government should find a way to help all homeowners reduce their payments rather than just help those who face foreclosure. But 15% think government assistance should target only those threatened with foreclosure.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The Dangers Of Live TV

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Ask A Moron: Why don't you ever answer any Ask A Moron Question?

A secret admirerer writes: My dearest and most esteemed Moron Pundit, for what reason have you ceased your delightful feature 'Ask a Moron?'  I fear I will soon expire without your wise guidance and crudely drawn diagrams.  Love, your secret admirer.

P.S. - The shaft just isn't wide enough.  Please widen.

Well, the main reason is that I ran out of questions*.   I intend to finish the Zombie Invasion questions but those take a long time to write and life has been a crazy, chaotic mess since about November. 

 So, ask away if you dare have the deepest mysteries of the universe, life and everything revealed to you by a drunk guy wearing a helmet.

* - Well, that or the questions I did have didn't get answered in a timely fashion by myself and reached their expiration date. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:11 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Nerdfact: I enjoy hearing a capella versions of songs I like

Like "For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti" by Sufjan Stevens. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:30 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Apparently, Michelle wasn't the only one

Guess what these fine American patriots on the campus of Brown University are referring to:

"It was the first time in our lives we felt proud to be American," Sarah Schoenbrun '09 later recalled. Deanna Saunders '11 noted, "My friend said she'd never sung 'The Star Spangled Banner' before. But that night she sang it like she really meant it."

Yeah, that was election night. And the author of the piece somehow believes that this contradicts "the conventional wisdom that college campuses in general, and Brown's in particular, have become hotbeds of left-leaning, blame-America-first cynics."  Riiiiight.  Because patriotism is all about The One.

One day a few weeks after the election, Kaitlyn Scott '10 sat in the Blue Room eating her lunch. She was wearing a T-shirt with an American flag emblazoned on the front. "I haven't taken this out of the drawer in years," she said, "and finally I feel like I can wear it again."

You know what?  Fuck you, Kaitlyn. And fuck your classmates, too. Frankly, you're what's wrong with this country.  Sadly, I doubt that you'll ever wake up from your Cult of Personality and realize that.

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:28 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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How the government is going to compromise your medical record privacy

Access to this knowledge isn't going to be abused, oh no, people with political axes to grind would never try and use private information as a political tool, never ever. 

Seriously, no good can come of this.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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