November 26, 2009

Mmmmmmmmmmm turkey coma

Happy Thanksgiving, Morons.  Yeah, yeah, I'm thankful for this hive of villainous scum and slack jawed windowlickers. 

What I'm not thankful for is the freaking DMCA and youtube taking down all of the clips of WKRP's Turkeys Away.  The full ep is on Hulu at least.

As God is my witness, I'm going to go pass out on the couch. 

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November 25, 2009

Girls, Guns and Stripper Nuns and still this movie looks like it is going to suck major ass




How do you mess up a movie that has nuns in high heels and fishnet stockings? I just don't understand.

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3rd Party?

In a longer post, Ace opines about how a possible third party candidate could help Obama win in 2012.

If the GOP runs someone like Mitt, "Ask me about my socialist health care plan" Romney or Mike "Christian socialist" (did I mention Christian?) Huckabee, he's exactly right.

If they run someone who's not just Dem-lite, then no.

They need someone who's against all the budget-busting and gov't overreach we've seen this decade.
I'm starting to root for a Teh Fred/Sarah Palin ticket.

And watching Minitru ignore the chance for a "historic first" of a woman VP will be darn funny.

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Cui Bono, Follow The Money, And All That Shit

This tweet got me thinking about the trading of Carbon Offsets and all that shit. And with Wiserbud's assistance, I noticed that these Modern Day Indulgences and Feel Good Scams actually are traded on an exchange for real money and the like.

So, can these trades be monitored and regulated the same way regular Wall Street and Chicago Futures Trades are made? Can somegbody go to Pound Me In Teh Ass Prison if they are caught performing insider trading? Are these things taxed? Who stands to make money off of this? And, finally, how can we blame this on Algoremanbearpig?

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Sure, not now...

...but just you go ahead and fucking wait...

"This $100 fine is rarely, if ever, going to be exercised unless you are blatantly violating the spirit or the letter of the law," the mayor said.
I'll be over here, in a part of the state where we don't provide subsidies for homeless people to live here, San Fran residents, laughing my ass off at you when that fine starts getting applied every week.

UPDATE: Link fixed.

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:52 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Another Lefty Sees His World Collapse Around Him

Thanks to MCPO over at H2, I saw this video of Ed Begley, Jr. freak out over the hacked/leaked global warming emails.
What you are seeing is another lefty freaking out that his sacred cow, his faith, his raison d'etre, is not only being questioned, but being exposed. And, in a way, it is something to be pitied as he scrambles around. Here is the pathetic last believer, begging for his side to come up with some new facts, some new talking points, some new SOMETHING that will save him and his system of belief from utter collapse and further embarrassment.

Begley has been confronted with the  fact that his faith, its dogma, its icons, and its evangelists have been exposed as nothing more than a bogus scam filled with the modern equivalent of the shady faith healer in the tent who is more interested in self enrichment than saving souls (or the planet). And watching him refuse to face reality is sad. But what is even sadder is watching other people like him, often incredibly intelligent and educated, throw themselves wholeheartedly into a belief, a cult, or a set of beliefs that not only are foolish, but then act like children when things do not go their way. And I can gurandamntee you that more Begleys are freaking out now that their idols and articles of faith are being exposed.

And to the them, I have this message:


more...

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November 24, 2009

When you've lost Angelina Jolie...

Maybe there is hope for America.

US Magazine: Angelina Jolie not an Obama Fan

"She hates him," a source close to the U.N. goodwill ambassador, 34, tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now).

"She's into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise," adds the source.

...

she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors," the source says.


If Angelina Jolie can spot it why can't the intelligentsia?

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WTF?

So I was updating my Fantasy Football roster when I noticed an ad in the upper left hand corner that, well, defied any logical or non-drug-related explanation.  I present it here as evidence that I'm not going insane.



Umm... what the fuck?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 06:38 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Mom gives autistic son weed

Since marijuana seems to be an unexpectedly hot topic 'round these parts, I'll drop this little cherry bomb down the toilet...

The CBS morning show profiled a mom who gives her son weed for his autism.

“They’re seeing Joey come out. He’s never made noises. We didn’t even know he could make noise until the first batch of brownies.”

Yeah, I'm not sure about that one either.

Flame on, morons!


Posted by: JoeCollins at 01:29 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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But of course you are, dear, of course you are.

Annnnnd now the Climategaters are questioning the timing.

Well, what the hell took them so long to do that?  Really.  Standards are slipping. 

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Did I miss Ace's birthday?

Is Ace 8 already?
/images/ace.jpg

25 Star Wars cakes via the Jawas


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Editors? We don't need no steenking editors!

Um, dude, I think the word you're actually looking for is rummaged...

FBI agents in blue gloves recently converged on a single-story brick mosque on the rural outskirts of town here and pillaged through the giant green trash bin outside in search of evidence.
Um, I could be wrong, but I kind of doubt the FBI agents stripped the dumpster "ruthlessly of money or goods by open violence, as in war."

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Just For Alex, Deep Sea Edition

You know you want to look.

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November 23, 2009

Shall we play a game?

The Iranians are feeling all frisky, they're having some war games to show their might so the invaders will tremble.
Since the same Chinese story has been up all day I'll make fun of this defense of Iran.
I am a little surprised, I figured that now that Obama was God/President of Earth.. the US that it would be okay to be on America's side but I guess you can't teach an old piece of garbage a new smell.

Gen. Ahmad Mighani, head of an air force unit in charge of responding to threats to Iran's air space, said Saturday the war games would cover regions where Iran's nuclear facilities are located.

Good, that way we'll know where to go.

The drill involves Iran's elite Revolutionary Guard, the paramilitary Basij forces affiliated with the Guard as well as army units.

Heh. I'm sure that's gonna go smoothly.
Fanatic military/terrorists, fanatic street thug/terrorists and regular army dudes who really, really, really don't want to be there, all mixed up and running around in war games with weapons and heavy vehicles and testosterone levels through the roof. What could go wrong?

The United States and its European allies accuse Iran of embarking on a nuclear weapons program. Iran denies the charge and insists the program is only for peaceful purposes.

Yeah, it's all a he said/she screamed out death to the Jews.
And just in case you think Iran is doing this for no reason.

Israel has not ruled out military action to stop Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons.

I knew it was the Jews. It's always the Jews.

Also on Sunday, Iran's defense minister, Gen. Ahmad Vahidi, said Iran planned to pursue designing and producing its own air defense missiles, according to the official IRNA news agency.

Okay, that's funny. I figure we'll see some dude photoshopped onto the bridge of the Enterprise. They'll forget to remove the vulcan ears when they add in the Iranian's face. They should hire Slublog.

His comments were apparently in response to the delay in the delivery from Russia of S-300 anti-aircraft missiles, meant to be a key component of Iran's air defense.

Dammit, now why would the Russians be delaying the sale?

Iran complains that the delay is apparently the result of Israeli and U.S. pressure.

The Jews, it's always the Jews.

Unintentional comedy alert
Commenting on this week's war games, a senior Obama administration official urged Iran to engage with the international community.
"We would prefer that the Iranian regime follow through on their offer to engage,"

See, that's why this is so funny. They've repeatedly told the world they want to engage.
The Jews.
With nukular weapons.
Yup, it'll be hysterical until cities go up in nukular fire.
Don't think I'm callous, it's just far too depressing to take seriously and Minitru is sticking up for Iran in articles like this.

(Title edited cuz I screwed up the quote)

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China is waging economic war on us again

Can we please limit our importation of Chinese goods to bullets?  Bullets are supposed to have lead in them, and bullets are supposed to inflict massive damage and kill people. 

The good news is, we get to shell out federal bucks to fix this.  And our snazzy world-traveling president can go to China pretending to try to get some sort of financial recompense for our outlay, get an unearned black belt in kung fu to match his unearned black belt* in taekwondo**, and grin from ear to ear pretending he accomplished something.

*Why is it when I do an image search trying to find a picture of our fearless leader getting his fake belt, I only get pictures of M'Shell and her boobie belt?

**And seriously, did Obama not recognize that his honorary taekwondo black belt when he's only achieved an middling level of mastery is a reflection of his entire political career? 

Posted by: Alice H at 01:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Haiku

Leave it to the Japanese to invent poetry with rules.

Topic: AGW Hoax Emails

Fuck You, ManBearPig
Too Bad They Don't Sell Lying,
Half-Retard Offsets

Topic: Andrew Sullivan

Get your creamy loads
loving power glutes out my
Country, stoner-boy.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:19 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Too much ammo? The deuce!

This man was arrested and held for $500k in bail in the Soviet of Massachusetts for having too much ammo - 30,000 rounds in .38, .22, and 9mil calibers. He owns weapons in all three calibers. He bought the guns legally in New Hampshire, and was within the grace period in Massachusetts to obtain a firearms card.

Keni Garcia, a Dominican, had been scheduled to become a US Citizen.

Suspicious, yes. But a crime?

Garcia is charged with three counts of possession of a high-capacity firearm, illegal possession of ammunition and illegal storage of a firearm.

His lawyer insists no crime was committed, which I guess they all do, but the way this country is headed the only crime is not having enough ammo.

Comments on this page indicate Massachusetts does have extremely draconian gun laws, and the dude could be in some trouble.

(h/t Scott W Graves)

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Althouse: Crushed Teenage Fangirl

Seriously, "Professor" Althouse. I understand that you were, and probably still are, an Obama fangirl, especially because you believed he was smarter than anybody else. I understand that you were not a fan of Sarah Palin, for almost the exact obverse of your Obamacrush. I understand that you have had doubts about Teh One since he became President, but can't bear to go full bore into the "I was wrong" camp. But this is too much, especially considering how smart you want us to believe you are.

Where is the animal fire inside the clammily cool Prez? Maureen wants to know. Was it ever really there?
The animating spirit that electrified his political movement has sputtered out.
The animating spirit...

Whose animating spirit provided the electricity back then? Did it come from him, or did we generate it from within as we looked at him and fell in love?

You know, I think what Obama seems to have become, he always was. Shake him all you want, Maureen, but you're like some Star Trek extra (in tights and a tunic) trying to coax heat out of the body of Mr. Spock. I'm afraid these earnest efforts are futile.

"We generate"? "Fell in love"? What the fucking fuckity fuck with a corroded downspout soaked in years of rainwater is that? That is one of the most arrogantly foolish, immature, and self aggrandizing sentences I have ever read. Do you really want us to believe that a serious professor of the law is willing to put her name to an article admitting that she is nothing but a Tiger Beat fangirl who is crushed that her rockstar politician/dreamboat is found to be a fool? Do you really want us to believe that YOU and your ilk were responsible for the "electricity" Obama generated because of the "love" you expressed for him, and not the media and the Axelturf Camp? And do you really want us to believe that you only fucking now came to the conclusion that Obama is an empty suit, or are you so afraid to concede defeat to the Palin crowd who called Obama out at the RNC? Jesssusss titty banging in the backseat at the fairgrounds Christs, this is an embarrassment.

"Professor", you claim to be smart. You claim to be worldly. You claim to be rational. And yet, when the clay feet of the Colossus that is the Cult of Teh Won start to crumble, you resort to the blogworld equivalent of a 13 year old girl vandalizing the poster on her wall when she realizes that guy really is a creep and a lowlife. You express shock and disappointment that your narcissistic projection of you and your greatness onto a politician falls flat. And you turn bitter at Teh Won by comparing him to an intelligent, but emotionless and ultimately incapable of being the true leader, character from a science fiction show (as an aside, I guess sci-fi portrayals of the Obamas are indeed acceptable. But I digress).  What the hell is that all about? Teenage angst and catty disappointment is fine in my niece, but not cool for a woman of letters.

Face it, Professor, you were wrong. You picked the "weak horse". You sided with the guy who, while victorious, has been a loser ever since, and is dragging everybody near him down with him. You sided with the guy who excited your girlish passions, and not your political senses. And I bet the worst one for you is that you were proven wrong by Sarah Palin, the person you call stupid every day and night before you cuddle up next to your Obama Photo. It must suck to be that emotionally attached to a person as ephemeral and vapid as a pop star, so much so that you look foolish when reality hits you in the face.

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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November 22, 2009

The Deciders Have Decided On How To Handle The AGW Emails

Yup. Just as I would have imagined. The Wall Of Silence has gone up.

The documents appear to have been acquired illegally and contain all manner of private information and statements that were never intended for the public eye, so they won’t be posted here.


Do I need to point out the irony of the NYT and WAPO breathlessly publishing anything and everything obtained through whatever legal or illegal means that would or could handicap anything a Republican would want to do?

Do I need to point out how the MSM used to hail leakers and hackers as heroes, so long as they helped undermine a policy or party with which they disagreed or helped advance an agenda they supported?

I could go on, but I think we all get the drift. This is a fucking joke. No wonder the NYT's stock price sucks ass.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:50 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Where Jeff Jacoby has it wrong

So, he starts out with this,

You want America to be a land of boundless opportunity and freedom, where people are treated as individuals and judged on their merits. You reject the divisive identity politics of the left - what matters most about any of us, you would insist, is not race or class or ethnic origins: it is personal character and achievement. There are few things about contemporary politics you deplore more than the demonizing or scapegoating of entire groups (“white males,’’ “the rich,’’ “the Christian right,’’ “gun owners’’), as though every member of the group is interchangeable and indistinguishable, wholly defined by a single disparaging label.


Okay, sure, go on.

But let someone mention “illegal immigrants,’’ and your principles fly out the window.


Oh this better fucking be good.

He references Soviet of Massachusetts Premier Patrick's effort to allow illegal immigrants to receive in-state tuition rates for college.  Then offers,

This is outrageous, you protest. It rewards people who broke the rules. It’s unfair to the taxpayers who subsidize public higher education. Why should an illegal immigrant get a valuable tuition break that Massachusetts wouldn’t give to a kid from Maine or New Hampshire?


Yeah, pretty much what anyone who isn't a complete fucking retard would say, then quotes Charlie Baker, who is apparently making a run for governor in the Soviet of Massachusetts, who pretty much agrees with the statement above.  Jacoby accuses Baker of shallow sloganeering, then condemns opponents of amnesty,

It is even more dispiriting to see conservatives assail immigrants instead of the insane immigration system that gave most of them no legal way to enter the United States.


You dishonest motherfucker.

The idea that conservatives are "assailing immigrants" is obscene, that Jacoby would accuse conservatives opposed to amnesty of such is even more obscene.  For starters, all but a handful of goofball Buchananites are anti-immigrant (and we all know how I feel about that Nazi fellating anti-Semite piece of debris), so to equate opposition to illegal immigration with legal immigration is a dirty fucking rat move.  Most, if any attacks on illegal immigrants, have been on the ones who run around waving their home countries' flags, demanding they be granted amnesty.  Excuse me?  Let me say that again, these are people in violation of our laws, and have the fucking audacity to demand, angrily we grant them amnesty, and you're criticizing those of us who condemn it?  Fuck you, Jeff.

As for attacking the insane legal immigration system, yeah Jeff, we've been doing that all along, but just like the political elite, for you, it's easier to pretend we haven't and do whatever destructive insane plan you've got cooked up.  The immigration system is FUBAR'd, bigtime.  That doesn't mean we get to pretend it doesn't exist, that doesn't warrant violation of the law, and it damn well doesn't justify giving people who broke the law a pass.  Laws barring marijuana possession and use may be stupid, but that doesn't mean I'm going to roll myself a fatty the size of a Pringles can and expect not to get my ass arrested if caught, and I guarantee Jacoby would think I was fucking stupid if I then angrily demanded that I get a free pass.

We of course get the, "What about so-and-so from (foreign nation here), who was brought in by their parents when they were a baby, why should she have to suffer, her family payes taxes, why should she have to pay the out of state rate, blah, blah, blah," story.  Which of course is an appeal to emotion, not a rational argument.  He then accuses conservatives of being irrational,

How is that a rational public policy? How is Massachusetts improved by making it impossible for an accomplished high-school graduate, a lifelong resident of the state, to gain a university degree? Who benefits when her education - along with the higher earning potential it would lead to - is cut short? She doesn’t. You don’t. Massachusetts taxpayers certainly don’t.


Okay, I have my own question:  How does making the concept of equality under the law void improve Massachusetts?  Or in any state for that matter?  No amnesty supporter has answered this question for me in a satisfactory manner. 

If Republicans really believe, as Baker says, that “it doesn’t make any sense’’ to allow illegal immigrants to enjoy the same benefits as other state residents, why stop with in-state tuition? Why not bar them from driving on state highways? From camping in state parks? From using libraries?


Well, yeah, that kinda the idea behind deportation of illegal immigrants.

Those immigrants didn’t come here in order to be lawbreakers; they broke a law in order to come here.


*sigh* 

The concept of equality under the law is central principle of America, you don't try to experience the benefits of a nation that works because people are equal under the law by demanding that you be given extralegal privilege, you dumb motherfucker.  How fucking hard is this for people to understand?  Does Jacoby even recognize the kind of internal instability we could be welcoming by rewarding lawbreakers in this manner?  Or does he not care?

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