Rectal ExAmnesty.

Against the wishes of a vast majority of Americans, the McCain campaign seems hell-bent on competeing with the Obama compaign on who can be more wrong about immigration.

Bend over, America, you're getting amnesty no matter how you vote.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 01:12 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Because it's almost the weekend

I just can't seem to focus on politics or anything serious, so let's just step into my Hyundai...

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:45 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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In the Obama campaign war room

Dave in Texas put this together on some widget that lets you add dialogue to that scene from Downfall.  Someone put it up on youtube,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:11 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'd hate to be a bigwig at Agriprocessors right now

The latest on that Agriprocessors immigration raid, apparently they're also facing 9000 counts for violation of child labor laws.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:31 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Best case scenario

Via Dan Riehl, this could be good news if true.  Given the abysmal approval ratings of Congress, McCain's decision to try and win the election, and the missteps by the left, the GOP could theoretically take back the House.  Admittedly, I'm skeptical, and the limited competence of the GOP leadership make me question that we could do it, but I think we can make gains.  I don't even want to think about the Senate...the Senate GOP right now is completely, utterly worthless.

I've talked about it before, but we can pick up two seats in PA, Districts ten and eleven.  Chris Carney in D-10 won because Don Sherwood got himself into a scandal, Chris Hackett should be able to take the seat, and Kanjorski in D-11 has been stepping on his own dick all year and faces Lou Barletta, who is giving Kanjorski a run for his money.  Undoubtedly, there are decent candidates in your state too, so hopefully a few of them can push through.

UPDATE: Democrats on the Hill are noticing things aren't going well for them, and they're getting nervous.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:01 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Hugo Chavez Loves the Cock*

Looks like the Crazy Cock Tzar from Caracas isn't done being batshit crazy:

Chavez ordered the U.S. ambassador to leave Venezuela within 72 hours on Thursday, accusing the diplomat of conspiring against his government and saying he would also withdraw his own envoy from Washington immediately.

Chavez made the move in solidarity with Bolivia after his Andean ally expelled the U.S. diplomat there, accusing him of aiding violent protests. He said a new American ambassador will not be welcome in Caracas "until there's a U.S. government that respects the people of Latin America," suggesting that diplomatic relations will be scaled back until President Bush leaves the White House.

"They're trying to do here what they were doing in Bolivia," Chavez said, accusing Washington of trying to oust him.

"That's enough ... from you, Yankees," Chavez said, using an expletive. Waving his fists in the air, he added: "I hold the government of the United States responsible for being behind all the conspiracies against our nations!"

Holding up a watch to check the time, Chavez declared: "From this moment, the Yankee ambassador in Caracas has 72 hours to leave Venezuela!" He told his foreign minister to recall Venezuela's ambassador to Washington, Bernardo Alvarez, "before they kick him out of there."

He then whipped out a picture of Fidel Castro and started fondling himself on the podium.

I've got news for you Jugo:  The United States and its citizens don't give a shit about Bolivia or Venezuela.  The only time we actually remember you exist is when you start importing weapons or shouting about how we are interfering in your shitty little country.  Inevitably, the result of you instigating a fight is an end to your petty dictatorship and you at the end of a rope. 

Maybe you should just stop shooting your mouth off.  I have an idea, take one of the myriad cocks in your ass and put it in your mouth.  Or, as the king of Spain said, "por que no te callas?"

* Loves it. Can't get enough.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:17 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Dr. Doniger, Constitutional scholar

Allahpundit's quote of the day from last night over at Hot Air comes from one Wendy Doniger, a perfesser of religious history at the University of Chicago, and it has to do with Wendy casting aspersions on Sarah Palin's womanhood. That's interesting, sure, but I'm more interested in Doniger's Constitutional scholarship:

Joe Biden's views are most relevant to the question at hand, since, as a Catholic, he shares much of Palin's embryological theology: he believes life begins at conception. But he has gone out of his way to insist that he would not impose his personal views on others, and has indeed voted against curtailing abortion rights and against criminalizing abortion. That is the right answer. It's in the Constitution. It's not in the Bible, or the Qu'ran, or the Bhagavad Gita. It's in the mother-lovin' Constitution.

Really? Where in the "mother-lovin' Constitution" is abortion mentioned? To which amendment are you referring?

Look, I'm not much of a social-con. I've never been married, and I've never been in a serious relationship where a baby might come into play, so I feel like I don't have much to say on a personal level about abortion.

That said, I think the legal reasoning behind Roe v. Wade was atrocious, and it should be left to the States. Some people here might disagree, but we're truly the "Big Tent" Party. And I think we're the people who believe, ultimately, in the idea that Supreme Court Justices should be "Strict Constructionists," and not the kind of people who believe that one of our founding documents is open to whatever the hell we want it to be.

So, really, Prof. Doniger, when you want to give me a lesson on Hindu theology (and it seems you may not be the expert I want to consult) instead of Constitutional Law, let's hang out.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Soft economy doesn't dent hard liquor

Even though the economy may not going like gangbusters these days, that's apparently not keeping Morons from getting their Val-U-Rite on:

A consumer survey in May by The Nielsen Company found that half the respondents said the economy had no impact on the amount of alcohol they bought. The state of the economy had a significant impact on only 20 percent of the respondents.

About 80 percent said they were spending the same amount of money on alcohol as in the past, but a large number reported going out less to bars and restaurants where they would buy alcoholic beverages.

"Purchases at out-of-home or on-premise locations may be more susceptible to a negative economy as consumers eat out less and entertain at home more often," said Danny Brager, vice-president, Client Service, Beverage Alcohol, The Nielsen Co. "Off-premise sales in grocery, mass merchandise, convenience, liquor and other stores will likely see benefits of this activity."

In other words, people are getting ripped at home, instead of heading out to bars. Which, I guess means less drunk driving and more quality time with the hoboes chained up in the basement. Everybody wins!

(Well, everybody but the hoboes, I guess.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:50 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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My Worthless Instant Analysis Of The Palin-Gibson Interview

Not bad. Not great, but not bad. She did no harm to her or the campaign. Nor did she give too much to Obama to use in a commercial.  Yeah, the "War With Russia" thing will get play with the Kossacks and The Deciders, but nothing super worthy of a "Face Palm" or a "ZOMG!!!11!!1SHE BLEW IT!!!1!1!WE ARE SO SCREWED!!!11!!".

Besides, I feel this is how we need to start treating some of the pessimism on our side:

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Remember that Roger Ebert column I mentioned?

Apparently, the internet doesn't.

(Via Treacher, who finds some sweet irony in Hot Air's comments.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 06:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Another liberal sees why they might lose

Peter Feld, a Democrat strategerist who I think may have been one of Kirsten Powers' contributors on her now-defunct site.  He sees the trouble the Democrats are in because once again they can't help themselves but sneer and show their open disdain of middle America, and he's trying to warn the media and liberal elite that they're blowing it.  He has pieces up at Radar and Gawker, but I'm gonna make you go to Patterico's in the link above to see them.  However, this one made me laugh, so I'm highlighting it,

I wouldn’t have counted on Maureen Dowd to illustrate the cluelessness of the liberal media who are losing the election for Obama. But she did.

The conceit of today’s Dowd column — burdened, as so many of hers are, with an ill-fitting pop culture framework (My Fair Lady, this time) — is that Sarah Palin’s interview later today with ABC’s Charlie Gibson is a moment of high peril for the putatively unprepared VP candidate.

Mwahahahahahaaaa!!!!  You wouldn't?  C'mon, Peter, you were doing so well there!  As for the ill-fitting pop culture framework in her columns, those give me an excuse to link one of my favorite pieces from the Moron-in-Chief.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:52 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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My Quick Thoughts For Today

I just don't have it in me to post much of Teh Funny today. But, I do have three quick hits:

Given the looming debate and vote promised in Congress over expanded oil drilling, why am I not shocked that this story involving shady dealings between oil folks and Government officials came out today?

Employees at the department's Minerals Management Service "socialized with, and received a wide array of gifts and gratuities from, oil and gas companies," according to the department's inspector general, Earl Devaney.

"When confronted by our investigators, none of the employees involved displayed remorse," Devaney said.

The alleged activities occurred between 2002 and 2006 and involved 19 former and current workers at the Minerals Management Service's offices in Denver and Washington. Devaney recommended that those still on the job be fired.

The workers were involved in the "royalty-in-kind" program that collects and sells oil and gas turned over by energy companies as royalties for drilling on federal lands. About $4 billion a year in royalty-in-kind oil and gas is collected and sold by the department.

The oil companies named in the report were Chevron, Shell Oil, Hess Corp and Gary Williams Energy Corp.

 

Look, if dirty events happened, then the people involved need to be punished. But, to quote a Truther, "I question the timing."

Also, I too am beginning to wonder why Adam Gadahn hasn't made his annual taunting video for Jihad TV. Just sayin'.

Finally, when your daughter wants to wear a dress reserved for an upcoming wedding, don't let her near chocloate chip cookies. Just sayin'

 

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Amazon.com Rawks!

Amazon.com has agreed to sell U.S. wine on their website. Sweet.

Quick! Someone call Jeff Bezos and put in the request for Val-U-Rite vodka and bacon-flavored vodka.

Posted by: conservativebelle at 11:18 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Whoa...

The Saudis walked out of an OPEC meeting.  The cartel made a motion to cut oil production, and the Saudis declared they would not honor the motion.  Most of the rest of OPEC is pointing to the recent price drop as the excuse, but the Saudis are afraid that winter will cause a spike, and if petroleum prices put too much pressure on the economy, it'd collapse and oil prices would go with it. 

Basically the way it works is that Saudis and Gulf States recognize that if the high prices keep up, the US is going to seek out alternate energy sources and our own oil sources.  Countries like Iran and Venezuela need the high prices today to fuel their social policies and military activities, and can't worry about tomorrow's economy.  So they now have a split, and things fell apart in the OPEC meeting as a result, this should get interesting.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:09 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Attn: Morons in Texas and Gulf Coast Region

Hurricane Ike is planning to pay y'all a visit in the next few days. Please evacuate if necessary, take care of you and yours and keep us posted on your status.

You'll be in our thoughts and prayers.

And for the record, I think Hurricane Ike should go die in a fire.

Posted by: conservativebelle at 09:29 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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9/11

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:00 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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And here I thought Roger Ebert was a movie critic

I know, I know, he's a lefty who writes about political stuff on occasion. But, honestly, I couldn't give a damn about his opinion on just about anything about the position of his thumb in regards to a movie.

That said, fatboy is given a forum in a Chicago newspaper to be incredibly condescending toward Sarah Palin, who (horrors!) has never been to Europe:

And how can you be her age and never have gone to Europe? My dad had died, my mom was working as a book-keeper and I had a job at the local newspaper when, at 19, I scraped together $240 for a charter flight to Europe. I had Arthur Frommer's $5 a Day under my arm, started in London, even rented a Vespa and drove in the traffic of Rome. A few years later, I was able to send my mom, along with the $15 a Day book.

You don't need to be a pointy-headed elitist to travel abroad. You need curiosity and a hunger to see the world. What kind of a person (who has the money) arrives at the age of 44 and has only been out of the country once, on an official tour to Iraq? Sarah Palin's travel record is that of a hopeless provincial.

You know what? I've never been to Europe, either. I'd like to go someday, but the fact that I haven't been there doesn't make me feel stupid. In fact, I've never been outside of the United States, but I've been all around the country. I've met people from many different regions, and I've met people right here in the US who come from all over the world. Am I a provincial? Are you sure you want to make that kind of argument, Roger? You don't have to be a pointy-headed elitist to travel abroad, but you might just be a dick if you suggest that if you've never been to Europe, you're some kind of hillbilly.

Furthermore, as Ebert acknowledges, Palin has been to Iraq, which, if I'm not mistaken, is still technically a warzone. Which, if you ask me, sounds a little more challenging than riding around Rome on a Vespa. I know, the traffic there is notoriously bad, but there's relatively little chance of being blown to hell by an IED in Italy. Well, that's just a guess, seeing as how I'm the kind of rube who's never been there.

Ebert calls Palin "a shallow, chirpy person with those vaguely alarming eyeglasses," and writes that he trusts that "the American people will see through Palin's facade, and save the Republic in November." You know, because electing Sarah Palin the Vice President would be an unmitigated disaster on the level of the Civil War, whereas electing Ebert's hometown hero, an empty suit who's arguably the least-qualified major party candidate ever to get the presidential nod?  Draw your own conclusions.

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:52 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Job interview in DC Friday, so I'll be MIA for a bit

I just realized today that I will be flying to Washington, DC on 9/11.  Yikes. 

On the up side, it turns out that the person who formerly held the job I am interviewing for and I are following each other on Twitter.  She called her boss today and told notified her that the two of us were acquaintances. 

Fingers crossed.  I'll still be on Twitter, in case you're interested, but I'm not taking the computer.  And no, I don't know how I'll handle being without it so long. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:07 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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First Worf

Inspired by this.  If you're an Ace fan, you'll get it.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:32 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Despair

Those tears, why, they're...just delicious:

A major Democratic fundraiser described it a good bit more starkly after digesting the polls of recent days: “I’m so depressed. It’s happening again. It’s a nightmare.”

I know, I know, it's a long time until November, but I'm enjoying myself far more than I ever thought I would just earlier this Summer. And I think a lot of you would agree.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:58 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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