Awesome

A nice chaser to go with the last Don Young story.  Don Young has also been declared a Tax Pledge Violator by Grover Norquist for his support of HR 2642, which called for a tax hike.  Hey! Those bridges to nowhere don't buy themselves now, you've gotta pay up.  Or you know, vote Don Young's worthless ass out of office in favor of Sean Parnell.  Or maybe you could help Sean with a little donation if you aren't an Alaskan.

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Where would we be without Welsh scientists?

You know, your country might have a little problem with the sauce if you need scientists to redesign your streets so they're safer for drunks:

Scientists have decided that redesigning streets to make them more user-friendly for drunks could help reduce conflict and violence.

After using computer simulations based on the Welsh to mimic the movements of people staggering home after a good night out, researchers came to the staggering realisation that drunk people trip over things.

You don't say. Next they'll tell us that the booze these people drink tends to be full of alcohol.

The researchers plan to investigate how moving street obstacles or increasing pedestrianisation might ease congestion around nightspots, New Scientist magazine reported.

The model could also be used to look at the effect of a new bar or fast-food outlet opening in a crowded city centre.

They hope to come up with street designs that direct late-night revellers safely home to their beds instead of into the path of trouble.

They've found that staggering drunks are a problem because they get in people's way, making them possible "targets of violence." I'm sure that the people staggering around in the streets of Wales drunk off their asses are never, ever the instigators of violence themselves. I mean, when has that ever happened?

(Via Moron Central)

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Finally, A Dating Service For Zombies!

Suck it, eHarmony!

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And You Thought Your 21st Birthday Was Awesome

Ah, the 21st Birthday. The time when young lads and lasses can *ahem* legally purchase alcohol for the first time. Most normal 21st Birthdays end some time late the next morning with vomit, unconsciousness, strange bite and burn marks, and a shitload of $1 bills. But enough about me.

What little I recall of my 21st obviously doesn't top what this student at Penn State did to ring in legal drunkenness. He wound up breaking into the PSU football complex and having a good time.

Police said they arrived at the building because of a call about a fight at the indoor training facility next door, and later found out later the call was actually made by Costenbader. He was found alone in a first-floor bathroom in the football building, which is home to the offices of Paterno and his staff as well as the team locker room.

An extensive collection of bowl game trophies, awards and other memorabilia are also on display, though there was no apparent damage to those items. The trophy awarded to Penn State after its Alamo Bowl victory last year had apparently been handled but was not damaged, team spokesman Jeff Nelson said.

Well played, young man. Well played.

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Sacramento tells me what I can and can't eat

A big thank you is in order to Nanny Schwarzenegger and all his Democrat pals in the Legislature for saving me from my stupid, stupid self!

California, a national trendsetter in all matters edible, became the first state to ban trans fats in restaurants when Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill Friday to phase out their use over the next few years.

Under the new law, the fats must be excised from restaurant products beginning in 2010, and from all retail baked goods by 2011. Packaged manufactured foods will be exempt.

Thank God! I mean, I might choose to buy some of that stuff, and that would be wrong.

In recent years trans-fats have become almost the new cigarettes among public health policy makers, with consumer behavior as much in the crosshairs as the product itself in governments’ attempt to curb harmful effects.

“I think the potential here is real for a far greater understanding of the harms of trans-fats,” said Dr. Clyde Yancy, the incoming president of the American Heart Association. “And to encourage more states to do the same.”

Yep. Let's have all the states ban the icky, icky stuff. Next, maybe they can go after booze. Hell, let's just legislate the joy out of all our lives. We'd be safer that way. Healthier, too.

Remember, it's For Your Own Good.

(h/t)

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Citizen of the World: No American flag, please!

For his press conference with French President Nicolas Sarkozy, Sen. Obama had a strange, but predictable request:

"Nicolas Sarkozy's advisers received only one demand from the team of the Democratic candidate: no American flag for the press conference, because it's a candidate being received, not the president of the United States."

Yeah, because we wouldn't want people to get the impression that he already thinks he's president or anything.

Of course, I can't be expected to understand the nuance of this request, as I'm not a "citizen of the world" and I only know one language, but it just strikes me as a bit odd.  Especially when only 37% of the folks back home (you know, the ones who can actually vote for him) find him to be very patriotic. 

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Don Young delivers

...some EPIC FAIL

What did our corrupt pork fiend do this time?  Don Young has been running an ad claiming that he has the endorsement of Taxpayers for Common Sense, a group that attacks wasteful government spending.  Young even boasts in the ad that he received an award from them.  Indeed, Don Young did receive an "award" from Taxpayers for Common Sense, their Golden Fleece Award, which is granted to those who are extraordinarily wasteful spenders, for Young's infamous Bridge to Nowhere pork project.  I think it's safe to say, Taxpayers for Common Sense didn't endorse Don Young, nor will they.

Soren Dayton makes note of Young's opponent Sean Parnell. Vintage has boosted him here in the past, so it's my turn.  If you've got a little spare change to throw Sean Parnell's way, his campaign is also a worthy cause for conservatives to consider supporting.

(h/t CB, who has a good post on a big lapse in judgment from Haley Barbour)

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Teens Teach Toddlers to Toke on Tape

What is another definition for FAIL? This guy.

A teenager shown on a video coaxing his 2- and 4-year-old nephews into smoking marijuana was sentenced Thursday to eight years in prison.

Demetris McCoy, 18, pleaded guilty to two charges of injury to a child/causing bodily injury and agreed to testify against his co-defendant, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported online Thursday.

The video shows one teen lighting a marijuana cigarette in the 2-year-old's mouth, then laughing as the toddler coughs. One teen then tells him to pass it to his brother, who also smokes it and coughs. Parts of the video showed someone calling the children "potheads" and asking if they "have the munchies."

Drug tests showed the youngsters had marijuana and cocaine in their bodies. When the video was made, the children's mother was sleeping in another room, police have said. She was not arrested.

Awful. I think the mom could be included in the definition of FAIL too. Authorities put the children in foster care.

Police discovered the video when they were searching the teen's home based on two burglary investigations. Double doo-doo. So that's what these young punks do. They break into homes, then get high, then give toddlers cocaine and pot, then make a video. Then get caught.

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Demented Elf's Chimpeachment hearing started today

Moonbats in the crowd looked on and cheered as the wackier of the Democrats in the House ranted about the Chimperor.  Will this be cathartic for the Nutroots or will it just fuel their craziness even more?

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David Brooks! skewers Obama

Under the word RINO on the dictionary, there is a good chance you'll see a picture of David Brooks, but he really nails this one.  Why it took so long for him to recognize the emptiness of Obama's rhetoric is beyond me (Okay, the fact that he spends too much time at Pravda NYT is why), but he finally sees it.  The good news is that if Brooks can finally get his bullshit detector calibrated and see Obama for the vapid tool he is, others can too.  Since I saw Brooks' piece at Hotair with this headline, it gives me an excuse to break out this,

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Where the Wild Stills are

I'm a huge fan of director Spike Jonze.  I knew he would do a great job adapting Where the Wild Things Are, but these stills are simply amazing (to my Moron brain, anyway).





And yes, I am aware that they've been out since December.

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Can we push Lou Barletta over the top?

Soren Dayton at The Next Right had the opportunity to do an interview with Lou Barletta, and thinks that Barletta can take down Democrat Paul Kanjorski in PA D-11.  If you read the article, Dayton has his post with "Donate to Lou Barletta" plastered all over it.  And you should if you don't have a conservative to donate to, he's going to have a tough fight.  The Democrats are getting twitchy and are already starting to give Kanjorski a little help in his district, if that's any indicator.  Kanjorski isn't to be underestimated, despite his recent series of gaffes, this is a Democrat who managed to take his seat during one of the great Reagan Deluges. 

Helping Lou Barletta win would also be an excellent way for all those who want to send a message to DC about illegal immigration. 

I'd also recommend Chris Hackett in D-10, the GOP lost D-10 when our pork fiend congressman decided to have an affair, and may have attacked his mistress in an argument.  He's a major improvement over the Democrat we have now, is totally opposed to pork and the out of control spending in DC.  D-10 is a pretty solid red district, and there's no reason why we can't take this seat.

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I'm guessing Gerhard isn't a big fan of irony

Some German guy named Gerhard Spörl, writing in Der Spiegel, was really impressed by Obama's speech in Berlin. Shockingly, he believes that for anyone who saw his non-campaign rally campaign rally, "it is hard to imagine that John McCain still has any chance." I suspect most of the Germans who showed up believed the same thing. I also suspect most Germans also believed the same thing about John Kerry in 2004, but I digress.

I mention this article because Gerhard says the following, later in his column...

George W. Bush is yesterday, the Texas version of the arrogant world power. Obama is all about today: the "everybody really just wants to be brothers and save the world" utopia.

...but, then, a few lines later...

Let's allow ourselves to be warmed today, by this man at the Victory Column.

I'm guessing Gerhard (and, by extension Barry O.) doesn't have a very firm grip on irony, or "yesterday," seeing as how Obama delivered his speech on unity and brotherhood in front of a monument to Prussian militarism which inspired the "Sieg Heil" chant.

By the way, I probably just invalidated my own argument by posting this.

(h/t)

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Who said it?

Here's a link to a mildly amusing video where people have to guess if the quote is from George W. Bush or the 1960s Adam West Batman teevee show.

Most of them are pretty easy, but there are a few curveballs.  The funniest part, though, is the bitter old liberal guy who spouts off just about every lefty cliché about Bush that you can imagine within a span of just a few seconds.

(Via Fark)

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You might not want to go casually tossing around the "S" word

Yes, I know this was just a joke, but the kind of people who might be encouraged are not exactly renowned for their keen sense of humor:

The man who could become Britain's next prime minister joked Thursday that he was thinking about bringing in Sharia law for bicycle thieves after having his own bike stolen outside a London supermarket.

"I'm contemplating introducing Sharia law for bicycle theft," said the leader of the main opposition Conservative Party, David Cameron, referring to the Islamic law code, after thieves took his bike as he stopped to pick up groceries near his west London home.

I suppose I'd be pissed if someone gaffled my bike, too, but I don't think I'd go to the press and suggest slicing the thief's hand off.  Especially not in Londonistan.

Anyway, the part of this story that's actually pretty funny is that Cameron can only blame his own dumb ass for the theft:

Cameron told London's Evening Standard newspaper earlier that he chained the mountain bike through the wheel around a three-foot (0.9-metre) tall bollard but when he emerged from the shop it had disappeared.

A "bollard" is apparently a post in whatever crazy language it is that they speak over there, and chaining you bike to a three-foot-tall post is basically a recipe for FAIL in any language.

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Unofficial Straw Poll

As most of you know, I am in the process of driving cross-country.  I have driven through parts of Utah, Wyoming, Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, and Tennessee.

I have seen the following presidential bumper stickers:

W '04:  8

Obama: 3

Ron Paul: 2

Kerry/Edwards '04: 1

McCain: 0

You may now discuss amongst yourselves what that means for the general election.

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Kids Gone Wild

My charming children have decided to see how accomodating their aunt and uncle will really be...

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Normally, A Story About A Young Lad Wandering Into A Hooters Would Be Awesome

But not this time.

It appears as though a five-year-old in Dallas snuck out of his day care and crossed I-35E (which I have been told is an extremely busy stretch of Interstate) and wound up in a Hooters Parking Lot.

Employees of Hooters found the child safe about 5:20 p.m. He left the child care center in the 2300 block of San Jacinto Boulevard, crossed the Interstate 35E northbound service road and Dallas Drive, bought a soft drink at a service station and walked to Hooters, where an employee found him in the parking lot and called police.

Deborah Pugh, who owns the child care business, said Wednesday that the boy asked to go to the bathroom and then slipped out a fire exit door, which must, by law, remain unlocked.

“It was just really fast,” Pugh said. “When the parent came for him we said he was in the bathroom. But we looked and realized he wasn’t, and we called police.”

And yet this daycare center is still allowed to operate.

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Thursday Night Stupid

What happens when you combine horse genitals and a Fox News anchorwoman? This clip (and, yes, I know it's old):

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:02 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Obama faithful declares holy war on racist infidel for bumper sticker

A member of Barack Obama's flock saw a truck with this bumper sticker blaspheming His Holy Name,

So she did what any faithful servant of He Who Is would do.  She followed the infidel in the truck home, blocked his truck in the driveway, then got into a shouting match with him, called the sticker and the guy racist and threatened his life.  Then she was arrested. 

What other group of people do we know of that threatens people's lives over a blasphemous cartoon graphic?  Hmmm...oh, right,

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