October 30, 2008

Do these people sound confident?

Has-been novelist Erica Jong had the following to say to an Italian newspaper:

"My friends Ken Follett and Susan Cheever are extremely worried. Naomi Wolf calls me every day. Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can't cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduces her to a bundle of nerves."

"My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium."

Now, you may want to take that with a grain of salt, seeing as how she also seems to think that "President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets" if Obama loses the election, so we're not dealing with, shall we say, the most hinged person, but the idea of Jane Fonda crying herself to sleep over her worries that The One might lose has...a certain appeal.

We can still win this.


Posted by: Sean M. at 02:32 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Will I be going to the annual "Thriller" re-enactment in downtown Lexington this year?

Hells yes I will be!

And here's to hoping "Michael Jackson"'s date this year isn't so...hmmm...well-marbled.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:44 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Morons of the Day: Vietnamese Health Ministry

Just like a bunch of commies to let public outrage get in the way of good policy...  wait, what?:

Faced with mounting public criticism, Vietnam's Health Ministry suspended a widely ridiculed plan to ban short, thin and small-chested drivers.

The ministry had recommended that people whose chests measure less than 28 inches be prohibited from driving motorbikes — as well as those who are too short (less than 4 -foot-8 [inches]) or too thin (less than 88 pounds).

When the media revealed the plan this week, it prompted disbelief and scorn among members of the public, who envisioned the police pulling over female drivers to measure their breasts.

As Glenn would say, that's a feature, not a bug.


Sign up now to receive your Vietnamese Boobie Inspector badges.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 01:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Not so shoking: Obama created a nonprofit to fund his transition months ago

Pride goes before the fall?  Let's hope so:

The Obama campaign has opened a new fund-raising front, I've learned, creating a nonprofit entity to bankroll Barack Obama's presidential transition operation, quietly in business for months.

The organization is called the "Obama Transition Project." The money is being raised from individual donors -- no Internet, direct mail or events -- with a $5,000 donation cap. Under self-imposed rules, lobbyists will not be allowed to contribute.

Seriously.  This has been around for months and not one news organization has brought this up?

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:32 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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WSJ: Pay no attention to those large crowds at Palin rallies

I'm starting to see why the Wall Street Journal is so attracted to Peggy Noonan (link in the original, emphasis mine):

Gov. Palin delivered an energy-policy speech here Wednesday, one of only three she has done. Although her speech last week on children with disabilities was widely covered, an address she gave on women earlier this month received very little pick up. "We didn't get much coverage on that by the way," she said to an aide with frustration in her voice. "They started talking about my clothes instead the next day."

The Alaska governor's star power and light foreign policy credentials have led the campaign to relegate her to large-scale rallies -- a grassroots motivating tool with no risk of "gotcha" moments.

So first we are told that Gov. Palin is a policy lightweight.  Then she starts giving substantive policy speeches and suddenly it is very important that we know about her wardrobe. 

Secondly, I was unaware that having rallies where tens of thousands of enthused voters show up is something negative.  It certainly wasnt presented that way when Hopey McChange was drawing those crowds (with the helpful assists of free food and Decemberists concerts, by the way).  And I still can't remember any policy speeches given by The One, and he's the presidential nominee. 

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Obama: You know who needs out of the Democrat Party? Moderates.

In September 2005, Barack Obama wrote a diary on the Daily Kos (safe link to Sweetness and Light) that contained a highly nuanced view of, well, a lot of things. Here is the Obamessiah on Democratic moderates (emphasis mine):

According to the storyline that drives many advocacy groups and Democratic activists - a storyline often reflected in comments on this blog - we are up against a sharply partisan, radically conservative, take-no-prisoners Republican party. They have beaten us twice by energizing their base with red meat rhetoric and single-minded devotion and discipline to their agenda. In order to beat them, it is necessary for Democrats to get some backbone, give as good as they get, brook no compromise, drive out Democrats who are interested in “appeasing” the right wing, and enforce a more clearly progressive agenda.

The country, finally knowing what we stand for and seeing a sharp contrast, will rally to our side and thereby usher in a new progressive era.
But don't you worry! Obama is still a centrist Democrat who loves tax cuts and rainbows and lollipops and puppies! And tolerance, can't leave out that! The dude loves him some tolerance. Just look at the type of rhetoric he will use to bring the country together (emphasis mine):
I am not drawing a facile equivalence here between progressive advocacy groups and right-wing advocacy groups. The consequences of their ideas are vastly different. Fighting on behalf of the poor and the vulnerable is not the same as fighting for homophobia and Halliburton.
Why, the way he captures and surrounds a story!  Truly He is the Son of God! 

Make sure you go read the whole thing.  I want to comment further on this, but I have to go string up some of them thar queermosexuals and cash in my blood-for-oil money from my masters at Halliburton. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:28 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Newest Navy destroyer to be named after Medal of Honor recipient Michael Monsoor

A fitting tribute to a great man.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:14 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Moron contest!

I hereby propose the following contest - guess which network will call the election for Obama first.  Note that this is on the 4th not, you know, now, in which case it would be MSNBC 2 years ago.  Format is network name, then time called.

I hereby choose MSNBC, the very second the first poll in the country closes.  Leave your guesses in the comments.

Winner receives the warm and fuzzy knowledge that while we're all fucked, at least s/he has something to lord over the rest of the Morons.

Posted by: alexthechick at 11:45 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Election Loss Narrative*

Well folks, we're almost there and we'd have to be pretty optimistic people to assume a McCain victory at this point.  That means The One will be President and I think it is time to start getting the narrative together for after the election.

See, I feel very strongly that once Obama is president he should be given a fair chance.  The exact fair chance that the left and media gave Bush for the last eight years.  I'd like to attempt to replicate that wonderful treatment every minute of every day for as long as the Messiah is leader of the free world.

So, the first thing we need is a narrative on Obama's win in the election.  Here are a few handy lines you can use in every fucking conversation about Obama that you have with anyone for the next several years.  Remember, only perpetual, annoying repetition can truly replicate the glorious fun it was to have liberals around during the Bush Administration.

Obama Stole the Election

Of course, under normal circumstances it would be impossible to predict such an action before the election is complete but I'm sure we can always use ACORN and illegal voters to justify asserting this no matter what evidence may come out to the contrary.  Remember, even after the New York Times certified the Bush victory in Florida, libtards still continued to call him illegitimate to this very day. 

The key to using this gem is to repeat it every time any Obama fan even mentions his name.  It need not be germaine to the conversation.  If you are disagreeing about his response to an international disaster and your opponent makes a good point you have no counter to, just remind him that Obama shouldn't be making these decisions anyway.  You'll have them pulling out their hair in no time!

Obama Bought The Election

After raising the most money ever in a Presidential election, it is clear that Obama would have lost by a large margin were it not for his massive war chest.  The liberal may counter by suggesting that his massive draw was a consequence of his popularity with the common man and had nothing to do with corporate domination of the political system.

Then you simply state that vast chunks of his money came from corporations (as much as any corporation can give to any candidate which is none), that he violated his agreement to use public financing, and that in any event, the majority of his online donations came directly from Osama Bin Ladin (this is factually true barring Obama disproving it according to the Sullivan Standard of Evidence Truthiness).  So really, you can easily claim that Osama Bin Ladin bought the election for him. 

Think how much fun saying that to an Obama cultist would be?  You get to do it for FOUR YEARS!

Obama Is in the Pockets of Big Business

Now, we can't assert he is in the pocket of Big Oil as easily as they did with Bush so it is important to associate him with other large, corrupt energy industries like the Agrifuel Industry.  I mean, he's got one of those douchebags on his staff!  Also, associating him with SubPrime lending corporations is key.  He loves those guys and they always have given him the reacharound.

Obama Is Hitler

Background checks on people asking innocent questions? Check.  A lack of any credible contrarian media?  Check.  Complete control over all branches of government?  Check.  Rabid, cultist followers that will use every avenue to silence critics?  Check.  Just keep repeating it until it becomes true.

Whenever any law passes, make sure to go on and on and on about how you we will all be in reeducation camps in the next few months.  Make it clear that you would say more but are afraid they are listening to you and don't want to be disappeared.  If they ask who "they" are, just look around for a few moments and then lean in whispering, "the VLWC."

Obama Doesn't Care About White People

It is critical that every time a disaster of any magnitude effects White People, this be brought out.  Tornado hits a trailer park in Kansas?  Where was Obama?  Make sure to attach pictures of Obama reading books to kids or talking to rich friends during the crisis to magnify the effect that he doesn't give a shit about the disaster and hates white people.  When he counters that he is half-white and his family is mostly white, just respond that "I hear your refer to yourself as the first black president, not the 44th white one."

It is often helpful after that to call his supporter racist.

Update: In case I wasn't clear yesterday, I quote Classical Values:

Everybody vote. 

Don't give it to him.  Make him steal it.

* - I'm only about 47% serious here.  The last thing we want to do is become the retards we've been combatting for the last eight years but I am 100% serious about giving Obama as much support and leeway as the left gave Bush for the last two terms.  Fuck him and his cult.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:33 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Well, The AP Finally Cares About Yard Signs Being Stolen

And take a guess which signs they mention. For the extra awesomeness, it involves Peter Frampton.

Frampton, 58, is so angry, he called The Cincinnati Enquirer asking to be interviewed.

The British-born singer of "Show Me the Way" and other hits told the newspaper that one reason he became a U.S. citizen was so he could vote. Now, he says his American rights to free speech and political speech are being violated and it "bugs" him.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:37 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I Want To Party With This Guy!

The only thing missing was illegal fireworks.

Marshall Cartwright, 33, was sitting on the ground drinking from the partially full keg when officers went to the Bethany Greenbelt Park, near Delaware Avenue and Bethany Curve, around 11:45 a.m. Monday, police said.

Someone had called 911 after reportedly seeing Cartwright drinking beer from a Mason jar and urinating in the bushes, according to police Capt. Steve Clark. He had a second Mason jar he used to sell the beer, which he had purchased along with a tap at a Pacific Avenue liquor store.

Cartwright got hostile when officers tried to interview him and told them he was a military operative, police said. He was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in public.

Police said they searched his belongings and found about 20 grams of psilocybin mushrooms and a Camelbak bladder with more beer in it. He also had a harmonica and a wetsuit with him, both of which police suspect were stolen.


Posted by: eddiebear at 08:33 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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An Open Letter to Photobucket

To whichever douchetool it may concern:

It seems that I am no longer allowed to host pictures of assholes with crude cocks drawn on their faces. 

Pictures like this:


David Axelrod wants to cram your children. 

Well, I'd just like you to know how I feel about that and since I'm not very good at writing, I've provided the following graphical representation.


Die in a fire,
Moron Pundit

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:12 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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If you thought Lil' Bush was hilarious...

...chances are you're a retard and you're gonna hate this.  On the other hand, if you're not the kind of doofus who chuckles at the lowest of low anti-Bush/Condi/Cheney jokes, and if you feel for Joe the Plumber, you might just get a chuckle.  Or a sense of righteous anger.  Either way...enjoy.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:01 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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It's For the Children™

Last year, the courts struck down a California law banning the sale of "violent" video games to kids under 17 and fining anybody who sold them the games $1,000. Well, the Nanny lawyers are back at it again, trying to get the ruling overturned:

The Interactive Entertainment Merchants Association, which represents game makers, has claimed that in addition to being unconstitutional, the bill is impractical.

"The same argument has been made again and again throughout the history of the country about books, about movies, about comic books and now about video games," said Jennifer Mercurio, director of government affairs for a national group that represents "America's gamers." "The way this law is drafted comes up against hundreds of years of First Amendment issues."

But Deputy Attorney General Zackery Morazzini, representing the Schwarzenegger administration, argues in a court filiung that the mere ratings don't do enough.

"It defies logic to suggest that our founding fathers intended to adopt a First Amendment that would guarantee children the right to purchase a video game wherein the player is rewarded for interactively causing a character to take out a shovel and bash the head of an image of a human being," he wrote in the court brief.
Invoking the framers of the Constitution in arguing for a law to restrict speech rights? I don't know if this Morazzini guy is a good law-talkin' guy, but the man's got balls.

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Television without pity

I didn't bother to watch the Obamercial, but Jonathan Last over at the Weekly Standard blog did, comparing it (unfavorably, of course) to a middle school assembly. He was surprised about one aspect of it, though:

Never before have I noticed how wonderful commercials are. It's not until you're forced to go without the Geico cavemen for 30 straight minutes that you realize how much you appreciate them.
Yeah, I can do without the Geico cavemen (that sexy Esurance secret agent cartoon chick is another matter—don't you judge me!) but it looks like I really didn't miss much of anything. On the other hand, tonight's episode of Pushing Daisies on ABC—the only network that didn't show the ad—was quite entertaining.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:43 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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So what is on that L.A. Times/Obama tape, anyway?

According to some tipster, this is what:

Saw a clip from the tape. Reason we can't release it is because statements Obama said to rile audience up during toast. He congratulates Khalidi for his work saying "Israel has no God-given right to occupy Palestine" plus there's been "genocide against the Palestinian people by Israelis."

It would be really controversial if it got out. That's why they will not even let a transcript get out.

I don't want to speculate too wildly, but I can't say I disbelieve that scenario.  After all, as Treacher says, if a diplomatically worded 90-second video greeting is enough to prove that Gov. Palin is a seccessionist, surely then tipster's word can mean something.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:05 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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October 29, 2008

Senate Thoughts

The Minnesota Senate Race may be trending back to Norm Coleman after the recent debate.
In wave elections, almost all of the toss ups break for the wave, though not all. Maybe this will be our one shining upset hold (ugh).

Outside of the pretentious Powerliners, anybody else know much about Minnesota politics? Does a third party guy (Barkley) throw any poll in the garbage can? How can a state that is overwhelmingly Democrat even hope to keep a Republican as Senator?

Elizabeth Dole is the worst fucking campaigner ever. She was pitiful in the 2006 cycle, and has no clue in her race against a virtual nobody. If the numbers game wasn't so dire, I would say let her lose just to go away.

Keep an eye on Robin Carnahan in MO.
She is the MO Secretary of State, and if her brother (Congressman Russ) doesn't run for Kit "Last Call" Bond's seat in 2010, she will. And she is beloved by the ACORN crowd for her work in helping perpetuate voter fraud in the 2006 and 2008 elections, though not as ridiculously as what is going on in Ohio.

No way Saxby Chambliss loses GA unless massive vote fraud takes place in Atlanta an Athens (home of UGA).

Ditto that guy in Mississippi picked to be Trent "Chester" Lott's successor.

Piss on Ted Stevens. Fucker should never have run for re-election knowing he was awaiting trial. And double piss on the Alaskans who voted for him and Don Young in the primaries. How fucking stupid are you? You are about to give those seats to Democrats because of your primary votes.

How sad is it that we are holding out hope that Susan Collins and Mitch McConnell are our bulwarks against 60?

Ugh. Me tired. Me go to sleep now.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:48 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Obama effigy found at UK

Yes, this Obama effigy was found a few blocks from my apartment on the University of Kentucky's campus.

No, I didn't do it.

I can't tell if this post is racist or not. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 10:16 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Concern Troll, True Believer, Convert, Or Mind-Fucker?

I know this "confession" at Moron HQ is getting a lot of attention around the blogosphere, but something bothers me.

I know Ace is airing his suspicions as to the O-Bot's authenticity, but I wonder if it isn't so much a confession from a tortured soul as it is a mind-fuck game where the O-Bots want to taunt everybody with how AWESOME!!!11!1! and smart they are. Why else go on a PUMA site, especially one that is watched not only by the Hillbots, but many Republicans as well, to make your claims?

Just "airing a theory".

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:42 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Dan Cooper is the president and founder of Cooper Arms, which makes some pricey, high end hunting and target rifles.  The fool decided to come out in support of Obama. 

Question?  Does he not remember the Smith & Wesson boycott?  Does he not remember Zumbo?  In any case, he foolishly came out in support of the most anti-2nd presidential candidate in US history.  24 hours later?  Yeah, the employees and shareholders are asking Cooper to resign

See, this is why I admire Second Amendment activists and organizations so much.  They don't compromise, and because of that they get fucking results.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:00 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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