November 23, 2009

Althouse: Crushed Teenage Fangirl

Seriously, "Professor" Althouse. I understand that you were, and probably still are, an Obama fangirl, especially because you believed he was smarter than anybody else. I understand that you were not a fan of Sarah Palin, for almost the exact obverse of your Obamacrush. I understand that you have had doubts about Teh One since he became President, but can't bear to go full bore into the "I was wrong" camp. But this is too much, especially considering how smart you want us to believe you are.

Where is the animal fire inside the clammily cool Prez? Maureen wants to know. Was it ever really there?
The animating spirit that electrified his political movement has sputtered out.
The animating spirit...

Whose animating spirit provided the electricity back then? Did it come from him, or did we generate it from within as we looked at him and fell in love?

You know, I think what Obama seems to have become, he always was. Shake him all you want, Maureen, but you're like some Star Trek extra (in tights and a tunic) trying to coax heat out of the body of Mr. Spock. I'm afraid these earnest efforts are futile.

"We generate"? "Fell in love"? What the fucking fuckity fuck with a corroded downspout soaked in years of rainwater is that? That is one of the most arrogantly foolish, immature, and self aggrandizing sentences I have ever read. Do you really want us to believe that a serious professor of the law is willing to put her name to an article admitting that she is nothing but a Tiger Beat fangirl who is crushed that her rockstar politician/dreamboat is found to be a fool? Do you really want us to believe that YOU and your ilk were responsible for the "electricity" Obama generated because of the "love" you expressed for him, and not the media and the Axelturf Camp? And do you really want us to believe that you only fucking now came to the conclusion that Obama is an empty suit, or are you so afraid to concede defeat to the Palin crowd who called Obama out at the RNC? Jesssusss titty banging in the backseat at the fairgrounds Christs, this is an embarrassment.

"Professor", you claim to be smart. You claim to be worldly. You claim to be rational. And yet, when the clay feet of the Colossus that is the Cult of Teh Won start to crumble, you resort to the blogworld equivalent of a 13 year old girl vandalizing the poster on her wall when she realizes that guy really is a creep and a lowlife. You express shock and disappointment that your narcissistic projection of you and your greatness onto a politician falls flat. And you turn bitter at Teh Won by comparing him to an intelligent, but emotionless and ultimately incapable of being the true leader, character from a science fiction show (as an aside, I guess sci-fi portrayals of the Obamas are indeed acceptable. But I digress).  What the hell is that all about? Teenage angst and catty disappointment is fine in my niece, but not cool for a woman of letters.

Face it, Professor, you were wrong. You picked the "weak horse". You sided with the guy who, while victorious, has been a loser ever since, and is dragging everybody near him down with him. You sided with the guy who excited your girlish passions, and not your political senses. And I bet the worst one for you is that you were proven wrong by Sarah Palin, the person you call stupid every day and night before you cuddle up next to your Obama Photo. It must suck to be that emotionally attached to a person as ephemeral and vapid as a pop star, so much so that you look foolish when reality hits you in the face.

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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