June 21, 2008

Accessories for the Ace of Spades Lifestyle™

I'm not talking about night vision goggles for your late-nite hobo huntin' expeditions.  No, these are Val-U-Rite vodka delivery systems for those rare situations when a Moron doesn't want to be seen guzzling his (or her) favorite 80 proof beverage straight out of the 1.75 liter jug.  You know, like at family weddings.  Or parole hearings.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:55 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I prefer the old school method of dumping vodka into a slurpee.  

Posted by: alexthechick at June 22, 2008 10:16 AM (RnuJu)

2 Man, that's pretty pathetic. Some people can't go a few short hours at a sporting event without getting alcohol into their systems?



Yeah me neither.

Posted by: lauraw at June 22, 2008 04:03 PM (DbybK)

3 Ah, the days of my youth, when security was so lax all one needed was a pair of cowboy boots into which a flask could be slipped....

From personal experience (I was living the AoS lifestyle before there was an AoS, I guess), the Brandy Smuggler Cane is subject to a major defect--the glass capsule (which isn't that large, btw) can break easily, leaving all that good whiskey to soak into the cane before you can imbibe it.

However, it can at least be used as a walking stick even without the brandy smuggling feature, which is more than I can say for the Malayan sword cane I once bought because it was so cool--and waited until I got home to realize that the thing could never be taken out of the house again because it's a concealed weapon.  (Query: would a Concealed Carry Permit cover a sword cane?)

Posted by: kishnevi at June 22, 2008 04:24 PM (Jf5b4)

4 (Query: would a Concealed Carry Permit cover a sword cane?)

Good question, I'm guessing it depends on state laws.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at June 22, 2008 06:10 PM (P2Jhf)

5

I used to smuggle pint bottles of booze in my er....crotch area, at concerts and such. They never pat your crotch down.

Saved on buying drinks. Yes, I'm cheap.

There's a "Pat McCrotch" joke in there somewhere.

Posted by: bmac at June 22, 2008 10:02 PM (oRVu1)

6 Meh.  The whole point of tailgating is to get hammered enough so you're (just about) sober when the event is done.

Posted by: steveegg at June 23, 2008 06:47 AM (LvEFt)

7 I loved the reference about the seat cushion thingy. Yeah, smelling and drinking ass warmed beer would make me want to shell out $8.50 for a cold one as well.

Posted by: eddiebear at June 23, 2008 09:16 AM (wnU1W)

8 It's Pat McGroin.... rookie.

Posted by: XBradTC at June 23, 2008 10:01 AM (kddTy)

9 nice post!

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