August 11, 2009

:-|

*** This was way better the first times I wrote it.***

Dear Dickfisters*,

Stop. Calling me. A fucking racist. No, put down your fucking latte and get the cum out of your ears. I fucking mean it. STOP CALLING ME A FUCKING RACIST. No, don't talk. If I gave you the impression that this was an honest exchange of ideas between equals, I apologize. No, its a dangerously escalating encounter that could easily result in a very severe beating.

Of you.

By me.

See, the next time some douchenozzle implies that the only way I could oppose his ridiculous social agenda is because I dislike the swarthiness of the president, I'm going to PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE. The next time some taintjockey implies that the only way I'd adopt a "keep your filthy government hands off my body" position is due to my discomfort with the darkies, I'm going to familiarize him with  my A FIST IN THEIR FUCKING TEETH POSITION.

Apparently you people** think that if our president were as whitedy white as my unsunned ass crack, I'd be fucking yanking my taffee in rapturous anticipation of having the government's rusty nanny rod of equality rammed up my asshole. Funny, I don't recall being so excited about the idea when the president was about as white as a human being can be. Fuck, even if I were president I'd be against it and I essentially agree with everything I fucking think.

Just to make sure you understand my position on being called a fucking racist, I've prepared a simple quiz question you can answer to see if what I've shared has sunk in.

YOU:CALLING ME A RACIST::ME

  • A: PUNCHING YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE.
  • B: HEAD BUTTING YOU IN THE FUCKING NOSE.
  • C: ELBOWING YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT
  • D: KNEEING YOU IN THE FUCKING GENITALS
  • E: ALL OF THE ABOVE 

P.S. - You may be one of those people that thinks my anger at being called a racist is based on my white guilt.

Fuck you, I explained.

How about I start calling all of you child rapists and see how you like it. No? Well, that must be because you secretly feel guilty for your part in all that child rape. See the similarity? Of course not, intellectual consistency has never been the left's strong suit.

* - For Alice H. While the video I saw doesn't involve that per se, it is certainly enough to inspire that terrible term. I'd share it but it should never be placed on any civilized website and I like you people.

** - What do I mean by "you people?" I mean windowlickers that believe it is more important that everyone have EQUAL coverage no matter how fucking useless they are than that the people who actually contribute to society have GOOD coverage.  (Of course, EQUAL will only be for those of us that aren't politically connected or super wealthy.  They'll have EXTRA EQUAL coverage.    I mean fucktards that think their so much fucking smarter than everyone else that they should help the government tell them how to live their lives.  Freon-huffers that believe that a cocksucking bureaucrat in Washington DC with a political science degree can make more informed decisions about what procedures will improve your health than the doctor with his motherfucking finger in your asshole. 

You know, fucking idiots. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:02 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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