"I've got a little penis inside of me," the 34-year-old actress said on NBC's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:55 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Posted by: Moron Pundit at 05:53 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Is:

    1.)  Why the GOP leadership is despised, despised by the GOP rank-and-file and grassroots.
    2.)  Why you're seeing a bunch of GOP incumbents getting thrown out on their ass by Tea Party backed conservatives.
    3.)  Why our economy is going to shit, and why we're going bankrupt.
    4.)  Why we can't have nice things.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:58 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Posted by: Alice H at 09:47 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Posted by: Alice H at 08:45 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Cockroach brains kill MRSA and E. coli.

I'm terrified of cockroaches, it's probably the only thing I'm more afraid of than guacamole.  If I were dying of MRSA, and was told that all I had to do to be cured was eat a pill made of cockroach brains, I think you'd all be coming to my funeral.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:16 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I know Allah can grate on people sometimes with his chronic pessimism/Eeyoreism and the Beta Male Blogger stuff, but I think Allah overall is a bright guy who deserves a lot more credit than what he gets for what he does.  I do think he takes more shit than what is warranted oftentimes too.  All said, his recollections of 9/11 are very moving, I had no idea that 9/11 literally hit that close to home for him.  I'm so glad Andy Levy thought enough to save Allah's stream of consciousness postings on Twitter recalling 9/11, if you haven't read them, I strongly advise you take the time to do so. 

Thanks to our Moronbloggers In Arms, The Hostages.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:47 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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That's the title of the ad sponsored by Team Barry that keeps showing up in the sidebar of my little crapblog.

On the one hand, this pisses me off because I can't in good conscience ask you Morons to go over there and click on ads to contribute to my Booze and Smokes Aid for Starving Orphans Fund. On the other hand, it's kinda funny, seeing as how I am fighting for change.

Money well spent, champ.

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:24 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Stripper in a cart!

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:34 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Just breaking on Fox News...

Update:  San Bruno, apparently.  Seems that a gas line is feeding the blaze.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:37 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Sweet, I so hope Bolton or his mustache run for president.  If John Bolton's Mustache were to run and win, it'd be the first Mustache-American to hold the office, and if John Bolton himself ran and won, he'd be the first president since William Taft to have facial hair.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:01 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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via TheRickWilson.

Posted by: JoeCollins at 12:41 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I think I figured out why CraigsList is taking down their adult section.

Sadly, the vaccine has not been FDA approved for use on websites.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:30 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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It is impossible to be a good parent if you are unaware of your child's location. 

Prosecutors in Milwaukee County have charged a 20-year-old mother with misdemeanor child neglect after the woman's 2-year-old daughter was found wandering Milwaukee's streets near 27th and Burleigh late this past Monday night.

Police released the girl's picture to the media after investigators were unable to figure out who she was.  Someone recognized the girl and directed police to the girl's mother, Shymika Williams.

According to a criminal complaint, the girl's mother told police that she had taken the girl to a home near 29th and Burleigh approximately two weeks ago.  The mother said she paid the people there $25 to watch her daughter for the weekend.

"The people there."  Heh.  Well, I'm sure they were mature adults who could be trusted caring for a child.  Someone must have abducted her or something.

That person, who is a 13-year-old, corroborated the story about watching the girl.

Wait, what the fuck?  She better have rushed back after the weekend.

While the mother didn't know those people's last names or exact address, she said they had watched her daughter before and were related to her sister's children.

As far as I know?  I mean, Obama's related to McCain, right? 

She said after the weekend, a person named NeNe took the girl and that was the last she time she had seen the girl.

Well, as long as fucking NeNe has her.  Finally, some adult supervision.

The mother claims she hadn't seen her daughter for two weeks.  It's not clear where the girl was the entire time, although the mom did say that after a week, NeNe called her and asked if she could watch her longer.  The mother told authorities that NeNe lives in a foster home.

What.  The fuck. 

I believe it is time to play euthanize six degrees of Shymika Williams.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:54 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Hey Microsoft...

If I say, "I'm gay" or "He's gay," actually referring to someone's sexual orientation, that's not a slur.  If I say "I'm from the town of Fort Gay," that's not a slur.  Implying that Fort Gay is gay, because of the name, that's a slur.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:04 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Tonight the NFL season kicks off so have your fantasy rosters in and your pickem picks recorded. 



I'm picking the Vikings tonight by 3.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:21 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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I don't think I've seen much of anything here about the pastor who wants to burn copies of the Koran on this Saturday, the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, so I'd like to reprint this comment opposing the idea that I left over at The Hostages late Tuesday/early Wednesday (depending on your time zone) with a couple of edits...

First of all, I find book-burning repugnant in general. I hate Nazis, but I wouldn’t encourage the burning of copies of Mein Kampf. You can learn a lot from reading your enemies’ ideas, after all.

I should take pains to note here, which I did not in my original screed, that Muslims in general are not our enemies. I have Muslim friends, at least one of whom has appeared on The O'Reilly Factor a few times, who are kind and decent people. (In an otherwise serious comment, I should note that, sadly, nobody I personally know has been on Red Eye or punched Shep Smith in the dick.)

Also, behaving in the same manner as the people you’re condemning is hardly a good way to take the high ground.

Secondly, if you find parts of the Koran objectionable, why not scan it for some of the more repugnant verses and hold a protest where you read them out loud on a day like 9/11? That would seem like a more educational experience.

Third, while the guy who’s doing this has every right to do so, it’s an attention-seeking dick move pure and simple. Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.

Does that last point sound anything like something else that’s been in the news as of late? Hm?

Well, that's my take on this controversy, and I'd be happy to hear what you think about it, especially if you agree with me. Because, if we've learned anything over the last twenty or so months, having people refute your arguments is kind of a downer.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:50 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment
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To those who helped enable this by voting for Hope & Change, I just have to say:
more...

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:34 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I was pullin' six figures too, but then I got high,
Now I'm gettin' hauled off by Capitol Cops, and I know why,
(Why's that, man?)
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiigh!

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:35 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Oh for pity's sake. Here's the thing about political corruption, people expect that politicians will get their beaks wet. I've said for years that the only reason to be on the sewer commission is to get your idiot nephew a job. But there's a certain expectation that the politician will be at least moderately competent and won't do things like get scholarship money for family members in violation of the rules and then write letters asking that the money be sent directly to the family, not to the colleges.

That's insultingly stupid, not to mention smugly corrupt.  This is the kind of stuff that's fueling the rage in the public.  It's so openly wrong, so blatantly droit de seigneur, that it's infuriating. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 02:23 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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