Words to Live By

"Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you try and put it in the body of a Great White Shark suddenly you've gone to far."

And God forbid you put frickin’ laser beams on it’s frickin’ head.

Posted by: chad98036 at 10:53 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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What literal media?

I was just watching a report on a local newscast (I think it may have actually been from CBS News, since that's who the station is affiliated with, though it's not the actual CBS station in the area) on Defense Secretary Robert Gates' proposal to cut defense spending (link goes to LAT, not the teevee news report I'm talking about), and they had bullet points to illustrate several of his proposals, each of which had a short video clip to accompany it.

One of the things Gates is proposing to cut is "military brass," and they used a clip of...a Marine Corps marching band.

Yes, I think someone who put the video part of the report together thinks that "military brass" = brass bands. Dumbass.

Update: Yup, it's a CBS News video.  I can't figure out a way to embed it, but you can see it here. The part I'm talking about is at about 0:35 into the clip.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:53 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
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Dear Bob Inglis

Fuck you! Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you with the fuckflame of failure for your recent actions. Fuck you for being a whiny bitch. Fuck you for being a sore loser. And fuck you for refusing to see that we will not tolerate your fucking bullshit any fucking more.

You want to complain that your party voting you out for siding with Obama? Well, fuck you, pal. I will not allow my daughter's future to be compromised by people such as you siding with those who wish to render us a third world shithole. And you better fucking guarantee I will support throwing your ass and any other fuckjiggler who thinks bipartisanship, especially since Obama has shown none to us, is the way to go. And I really will not tolerate losers then whining to the media when they lose their own party.

So fuck you, Bob Inglis. Fuck all the RINOs. And fuck anybody who wants to constantly spit in the eyes of their own party. Get fucked. and go to ratings hell (MSNBC) along the way.

Posted by: eddiebear at 03:49 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Brett Favre: Classy

While the story itself is mildly interesting, I'm really just using it as an excuse to throw up another picture of my current dream girl, Jenn Sterger. 



Note that her last name spelled backwards is "Regrets" of which, sadly, I am not one.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:46 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Major daily newspapers are going broke for some reason

Seriously, Karl Rove must be secretly paying MFM people to write this kind of column. That's the only sane explanation.

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Dear Hollywood

Fuck you for ruining another memory of my childhood and wanting to charge more because this flaming fuckpile of fucking fuckwaste is in three fucking d. Fuck you for taking one of the greatest works of all time and fucking it raw worse than a $.30 crack whore needing to pay back her pimp. Fuck you for having no fucking original ideas, save slapping a sequel together. And fuck you just because you make one of the things I truly enjoy, going to a movie theater and eating that trash bag sized popcorn and soda combo, so unappealing because of the shitfisting you put on the fucking screen.

And don't even fucking think of touching "Where The Sidewalk Ends" or "The Giving Tree". Just sayin'.

So fuck off, Hollywood. Fuck your shitty shitfuckiness with the furious fuckhammer of fuckingly fuckfuddled fury for fucking with my free time options.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:15 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I have no comment on this

from @colocelt's Facechimp.

Posted by: Alice H at 09:22 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Connections – Death in the Morning

Continuing with the weekly posting of the British TV series "Connections". A documentary series by historian James Burke, "Connections" attempted to explain how various historical events and personalities led to discoveries that built off each other to bring about the modern world. Since the series originally ran in 1978 some of the material is a little dated but it is still one of the most interesting programs to have been aired on TV in my opinion. Fortunately James Burke has placed the entire series on YouTube (as well as the two follow on series).

Episode Two: "Death in the Morning" examines the standardization of precious metal with the touchstone in the ancient world. This innovation stimulated trade from Greece to Persia, ultimately causing the construction of a huge commercial center and library at Alexandria which included Ptolemy’s star tables. This wealth of astronomical knowledge aided navigators 14 centuries later after the development of lateen sails and sternpost rudders. Mariners discovered that the compass's magnetized needle did not actually point directly north. Investigations into the nature of magnetism by Gilbert led to the discovery of electricity by way of the sulphur ball of von Guericke. Further interest in atmospheric electricity at the Ben Nevisweather station led to Wilson’s cloud chamber which in turn allowed development of both Watson-Watt's radar and (by way of Rutherford's insights) nuclear weaponry.

I am only embedding the first portion of each episode the entire playlist for the episode is here.

The complete series is available from Amazon

Posted by: chad98036 at 08:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ezra Klein: What anti-business environment?

Seriously?

How about totally boning the automaker bond holders to save the UAW?  Or the abortion that is the Chevy Volt? Or Obamacare, the first symptoms of which are the cumulative multi-billion dollar corporate write-downs?  Or FinReg, which will have repercussions for credit availability for small business startups?  Or the "U.S. Manufacturing Enhancement Act of 2010" (née "Miscellaneous Tariff Bill")  Those are just a few things that come to mind.

Ezra Klein is so off track he's beyond just being wrong.  This is a "Baghdad Bob" level of denial.

Posted by: JoeCollins at 07:06 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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In polite company, we'd be siccing Chris Matthews on anyone who was sticking their hands into the pockets of a 7-year-old girl

Unfortunately, Chris Matthews doesn't seem to travel to Oregon much.  This is tough for the kid it's happening to, but hopefully it's a lesson she'll teach every kid when she goes back to elementary school in a couple of weeks. 

The girl worked on a sign, coloring in the letters and decorating it with a drawing of a person saying "Yummy." She made a list of supplies.

Then, with gallons of bottled water and packets of Kool-Aid,  they drove up last Thursday with a friend and her daughter. They loaded a wheelbarrow that Julie steered to the corner of Northeast 26th and Alberta and settled into a space between a painter and a couple who sold handmade bags and kids' clothing.

Even before her daughter had finished making the first batch of lemonade, a man walked up to buy a 50-cent cup.

"They wanted to support a little 7-year-old to earn a little extra summer loot," she said. "People know what's going on."

Even so, Julie was careful about making the lemonade, cleaning her hands with hand sanitizer, using a scoop for the bagged ice and keeping everything covered when it wasn't in use, Fife said.

After 20 minutes, a "lady with a clipboard" came over and asked for their license. When Fife explained they didn't have one, the woman told them they would need to leave or possibly face a $500 fine.

Children should learn at an early age that the government will stick its greedy fingers into your pockets every chance it gets, and that the government is going to do its best to overwhelm your startup with fees that make it impossible to get a toehold.

Posted by: Alice H at 02:19 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Frank Rich: Campaign Genius

Look, I know that the MFM is going full bore to try to save the Democrat Party's skin this year, in the hopes of blunting losses, but if this is the best they can do, they are in big trouble.

I recall in 2006 the last gasps of the GOP's campaign was to say that "Speaker Pelosi" and "Leader Reid" would allow people such as Barney Frank, Chuck Rangel and Chuck Schumer run wild, and the public didn't care. Now that the shoe (apparently) is on the other foot, watching the MFM (who helped the Democrats win in 2006 by conveniently ignoring to report who the soon to be leaders really were like) thrash around is fucking hilarious.

Stick to food and theater, Frank.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:38 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Presented without context

...a staff member stapled his penis to a chair leg, beat him with a soap in a sock, tried to sodomise him and stubbed out cigarettes on his skin. Others said they were sexually abused or locked inside the room for days without a toilet - the smell of urine was overpowering.

Well, nobody ever said that a stay in a Turkish prison was exactly a walk in the park, now did they?

Wait, where was this again?

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Sarah...what were you thinking?

You agreed to take Kate Gosselin, who is like the world's greatest spoiled megabitch Philly trash into the friggin' woods camping?  What'd you think was gonna happen?  Unless this was a clever plot to try and have Kate get eaten by a grizzly bear...

Random,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:37 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Wit

I've been told that The Atlantic was once a prominent magazine, full of thought-provoking articles and home to smart essayists.

And then, they hired Andrew Sullivan.

Excitable Andi is apparently setting the tone over there, seeing as how Jeffrey Goldberg seems comfortable writing dreck like this on their website:

It seems likely that Conde Nast, the publisher of such magazines as The New Yorker, GQ and Vanity Fair, will be moving into the office tower currently being built on the site of the destroyed Twin Towers. This news is a terrible affront to all patriotic and freedom-loving Americans, and an insult to the memories of those murdered on September 11th, 2001. It is hard to believe that Mayor Michael Bloomberg would allow this company to despoil such a holy place.

Why is this an insult to the victims of 9/11? The answer, I think, is obvious. Among the titles published by Conde Nast is the fashion magazine Vogue. Vogue publishes an Italian edition. Italy, of course, was the incubator of fascism. The terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center were Islamofascists. I think the connection is clear.

There's more har-de-har-har, you stupid, racist wingnuts stuff at the link, but I wouldn't bother if I were you.

If this is what passes for being "clever" in this day and age, I'll stick to sitting at home, swilling Val-U-Rite vodka out of a plastic jug and won't despair too much over the fact that the Smart Set never invites me to their cocktail parties.

Posted by: Sean M. at 10:59 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Random notes from the past couple of days

Someone needs to add this to the guy's version that never was written of that book:

When the girlfriend you bought a car for, whose rent you've paid, who you bought a giant-ass fancy Bernina sewing machine for so that she could stop working at the gentleman's club and who you subsequently got a hernia for because she wanted the giant-ass fancy Bernina sewing machine moved, can't be bothered to show up to hang out with you before or after your hernia repair surgery, she's just not that into you. 

And your best friend who does show up and sticks around through the entire surgery and spends the night at your place to make sure you're OK and takes you back to the hospital in the morning because your catheter is blocked and is spending another night at your place to make sure everything is OK?  We've come so far with acceptance of gays that every doctor and nurse is going to automatically assume that he's your significant other and start asking him to make medical decisions for you and they're going to try to get him to learn to flush out your Foley and learn wound care for your testicle that's black and swollen to the size of a grapefruit.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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BBF at the Hostages

Yep, did this week's BBF.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:49 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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And this is supposed to be the Master Race

Those idjits who named their son Adolf Hitler, Joycelynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie have finally lost custody of what I'm sure will grow up to be happy contributing members of society.  And the state didn't even have to include the children's names in the court documents to make it happen. 

Heath Campbell, 37, cannot read and Deborah Campbell dropped out of high school before finishing the 10th grade, according to court records.

In its ruling, the panel found the parents "recklessly created a risk of serious injury to their children by failing to protect the children from harm and failing to acknowledge and treat their disabilities."

The judges considered a typo-riddled note signed by Deborah Campbell and given to a neighbor. In it, Campbell says that if she were found dead, her husband was to blame.

"Hes thrend to have me killed or kill me himself hes alread tried it a few times. Im afread that he might hurt my children if they are keeped in his care. He teaches my son how to kill someone at the age of 3," the letter read in part.

Posted by: Alice H at 11:38 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Yes I'm lame

But I'm really excited about this.



Yes, I bought a PS3 to play Little Big Planet. Shut. Up.

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:34 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Vacation(s) All I Ever Wanted

Remember how our lefty friends used to bitch about how much time Chimpy McBu$hitler spent on "vacation" (the scare quotes are because of the fact that he had cabinet members and phones and computers with secure internet connections and everything) at his ranch in Crawford? Well, at least he had a fucking job...

First ladies often go on vacations, with and without the president. An issue for Mrs. Obama may be how many: New York in March; Chicago, over Memorial Day; Los Angeles in June; Camp David -- sort of an extension of the White House -- in July; Maine in July, to highlight Acadia National Park, and now Spain. Mrs. Obama is glamorizing Spain's coastal resorts before her Aug. 14 first family weekend visit to Florida's Gulf Coast, to encourage tourists scared away by the oil spill. Starting Aug. 19, the Obamas will spend 10 days in Martha's Vineyard.

To be fair, I guess hectoring people about how fat their kids are is pretty stressful, but this just looks fucking terrible. A lot of us don't have the kind of money that folds these days, much less enough to go on eight fucking vacations over the course of one goddamn summer.

Seriously, did someone like David Axelrod, supposedly a political genius, not look at this and take Barry and Michelle aside and mention that having Her Highness jet off to Spain for one of (I reiterate) eight fucking summer vacations—for which the taxpayers pick up the tab for transportation, security, and God knows what else—might seem like a thumb in the eye to the average guy who can't afford to take the missus to the local Indian Casino for the weekend? Did their political team not realize that this would generate angry run-on sentences like that?

But the GOP spending money on Sarah Palin's new wardrobe during the 2008 campaign? Well, that right there was a fucking scandal.

P.S. Way to stimulate our economy by jetting off to Europe. Yeah.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:17 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Dear Sharron Angle...

Dear Sharron,

Stop saying dumb shit. We need a win.

Sincerely,

ME. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 10:42 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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