I've Been There

I just wasn't as motivated as this guy:

A Chinese lorry driver jumped into a fast-flowing river because he couldn't take his wife's nagging anymore.

Zhou and his wife were on a ferry on the Yangtze River when it all became too much for him, reports the Chongqing Evening Post.

Members of the ship's crew saw the man suddenly run out of his cabin with his hands covering his ears, and shouting: "I can't stand it any longer."

They initially thought he was suffering from an ear injury and went to help him but found he was unhurt.

"While we were still puzzling over the this, his wife ran up and continued nagging him," said one crewmate.

"The husband covered his ears again and said: 'I need a break' before jumping over the side into the rushing river.

Heh.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Congresscritter Will Finally Meet Her Constituents

Carol Shea Porter(Dipshit-NH)  is one of many Congresscritters who has refused to meet with her constituents during the August recess. Well, it appears as though that might change.

Only hitch? She planned this meeting at the same time a prominent NH Conservative Groups and its leaders are holding a meeting of their own. Coincidence?

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:30 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm not so sure that this is what the GOP needs - Sean Hannity will not rule out bid for Presidency in 2012

WASHINGTON – Talk-show host Sean Hannity, a vocal opponent of Barack Obama's policies, said today he would not rule out a bid for the presidency in 2012.

...

Hannity would make a formidable candidate, with the likability of Reagan, good looks and strong convictions. He's also a polished communicator and knows the issues inside out.

And he can debate.

source

Really? I've listened to his show and hollering "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need" doesn't really strike me as debating.

Maybe I'm wrong maybe that is what the GOP needs to counter the likes of Biden and Franks. I have never thought that Hannity has shown a particularly good grasp of issues but maybe that doesn't matter either. At least he isn't a consistently grumpy guy like McCain and he may have more energy than Fred Thompson exhibited.

Posted by: chad98036 at 09:08 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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The not-so-friendly skies

Okay, which one of you Morons was flying from the Bay Area to Vegas yesterday?

A Southwest Airlines flight from Oakland to Las Vegas was turned around Thursday after a man allegedly exposed himself to his female seatmate, punched her when she screamed, then stripped off all of his clothes as flight attendants and passengers subdued him.

The man was arrested, and the woman was taken to a hospital for treatment of her injuries, said Alameda County Sheriff's Sgt. J.D. Nelson. Her condition was not known.

Strangely, there's no mention of whether or not there was alcohol involved.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:48 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Just Watching Boomerang With My Daughter

They cut out an anvil being dropped on a dog's head. 

I'm outraged. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 07:00 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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My First True Face Time For YouTube

Warning! Some mildly naughty language:

 

BTW, that really isn't me.

Posted by: eddiebear at 01:45 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Let us talk about the most important thing of all

Star Wars! John Scalzi presents his Guide to the most Epic Fails in the design of the Star Wars universe.

I love this:  "Let's not even go near the idea of light beams being slow enough to dodge; that's just something you have let go of, or risk insanity."

Hehhehheh indeed. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 01:01 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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That Hopenchange Kool-Aid isn't so sweet now, is it Ann?

I see this from Ann Althouse, whining about Obama framing the health care debate in religious terms as well as Our Lord and Savior's deification of government, and I just shake my head. 

This is the same person who almost a year ago admitted to sucking down a big ol' glass of Hopenchange Kool-Aid, who clearly bought into the cult of Obama, and all of the deifying propaganda surrounding the Media's Messiah.  We all fucking knew what he was, and there's no fucking way she couldn't know, all the information was there for anyone who wasn't willfully ignorant.  So now she's finally seeing what a slimy fraud the guy is? 

Heh, one of her readers asks in comments,

How the hell did this guy get elected again?

Well...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:36 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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You need a license to have a dog - just sayin'

Good God I hate some parents.

To be crude, there's a reason why breeder is second only to the c word in my personal pantheon of profanity.  Yeah, it's the ice truck guy's fault you can't tell your little darling no. 

No offense to the parents who post/read/comment here.  (I know that Venn diagram is a solid circle)  And I'm not just saying this because I know for a true fact that one of y'all is a.  a mother and b. can take me. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 12:09 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I'm an awful human being

The first thing I thought when I saw this was, "Aw, our FAIL Britannia tag will go away!"

Posted by: Alice H at 10:08 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I hope this is as wildly successful as Sicko

I have no idea how this freak got my email address, but I just got a spam suggesting I and my readers might enjoy the trailer for Michael "Why yes, I did eat your entire family, can I nibble on your dog for dessert" Moore's Capitalism: A Love Story.  Since I love each and every one of our eight readers, I'm not going to inflict the trailer on you, because if the stills that this wacko sent are any indication, you'd have to look at Michael Moore, and it's too early in the morning to be inflicting that on you.  What time is an appropriate time to inflict Moore on you, well, I don't have an answer for that.

If this movie does as good a job of tearing down capitalism as Sicko did convincing the average joe that public health care was the way to go, we'll be awarding Moore some sort of medal, I'm sure. 

Posted by: Alice H at 09:44 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Sears missed an important marketing opportunity

Instead of grilling babies, they should have catered to the hobo cuisine crowd.

Posted by: Alice H at 09:35 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Pubic Service Announcement

Please check your signs for proper spelling and grammar before protesting.



Courtesy MCS

Posted by: Alice H at 09:26 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Yawn. Racist, Redneck, Bible Thumping Hillbilly Criticizes Obama.

Oh. Did I write that? I meant to write Elitist, Snotty, NYC Rino begins to criticize Obama through the tears of a groupie who learns that her hero is really a fool.

But leave it to Peggy Noonan to keep up hope for her beloved Hope and Change, with dripping contempt for the Great Unwashed thrown in for good measure.

These things are clear. I understand them{Obama's policies}. You understand them {and that's why I oppose them-ed.} The president's health-care plan is not clear, and I mean that not only in the sense of "he hasn't told us his plan." I mean it in terms of the voodoo phrases, this gobbledygook, this secret language of government that no one understands—"single payer," "public option," "insurance marketplace exchange." No one understands what this stuff means, nobody normal {I understand that stuff. I guess I am not normal-ed}.

And when normal people don't know what the words mean, they don't say to themselves, "I may not understand, but my trusty government surely does, and will treat me and mine with respect." They think, "I can't get what these people are talking about. They must be trying to get one past me. So I'll vote no."

Bitter? Heh. I laugh at your tears.

 

In a more beautiful world, the whole health-care chapter could become, for the president, that helpful thing, the teachable moment {that phrase should lead to severe beatings for any person who uses it-ed}. The president {I thought "President" was capitalized. Nice to see your Ivy League training paying dividends-ed}the past month has been taught a lot by the American people. It's all there in the polls. He could still step back, rethink, say it didn't work, promise to return with something better {I love Wistful Peggy. So much fun when her dreams are crushed-ed}.

When presidents make clear, with modesty and even some chagrin, that they have made a mistake but that they've learned a lesson and won't be making it again, the American people tend to respond with sympathy {fuck sympathy. You can find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis-ed}. It is our tradition and our impulse{tell that to the assfisters in the MSM who wanted Bush to apologize so that they could attack him for it-ed}.

Such admissions are not a sign of weakness. John F. Kennedy knew this after the Bay of Pigs {AHA! A JFK reference. Who would have guessed?-ed}. He didn't blame his Republican predecessor, Dwight Eisenhower, or the agencies that had begun the invasion's tentative planning under Ike. JFK made it clear he'd learned a great deal, which increased confidence in his leadership. His personal popularity rose so high that he later wryly noted that the more mistakes he made, the more popular he became.

I suspect the American people would appreciate seeing Barack Obama learn from this, and keep going {yeah, back to Community Organizing for ACORN as an ex-President-ed}. He's their president{sigh. Yes he is, but I still won't support his shitty policies-ed}. He will be for the next few difficult years, which will no doubt contain moments he will have to lead us through {and judging by his "leadership" so far, we are screwed-ed}. They also probably wouldn't mind seeing a wry, modest, very human and self-critical stance from a new president who doesn't strut and doesn't swagger but does have a level of 1950s cool, Old Vegas cool, of supreme and confident smoothness that one wouldn't mind seeing ruffled a bit by that old ruffler, reality {no. We want a guy who knows what the fuck he is doing and what he shoudl do, no a Hip Prez-ed}. Critics of George W. Bush will say here, "Did he ever show wry self-criticism?" No, he didn't. And that's why it ended so well for him.

Ugh. I can't take any more.

But seeing Peggy cry like a jilted teenager is always funny. I just can't wait to see what pile of shit David Brooks presents next week.

 

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:22 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Presented without context

"People see a naked woman and they smile," he said. "They see a penis and they freak out."

H/T Conservative in the City

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Cornyn was right

We totally should have picked Tom Ridge over Pat Toomey, what were we silly little wingnuts thinking? 

GOP elite couldn't be any fucking dumber if they tried to be...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:10 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Call me a cynic...

...but why do I have a sneaky suspicion that this will get around 0.000001% of the attention that the left and the MSM (BIRM) paid to the ginned-up Valerie Plame controversy?

The Justice Department is investigating whether Guantanamo Bay detainees charged with roles in the Sept. 11 attacks were improperly given photos of CIA officers or contractors, according to a person familiar with the investigation.

The investigation, headed by the Justice Department's counterespionage chief, John Dion, is trying to determine if military lawyers defending the detainees divulged classified information or compromised covert CIA officers, according to the person, who was not authorized to discuss the investigation and spoke only on condition of anonymity.

It is a violation of federal law to identify CIA covert personnel, and it is a violation of military commission rules to disclose classified information, even if only to the defendants.

The person who spoke to The Associated Press said the photos at issue were provided by the John Adams Project, a combined effort of the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers to assist in the defense of the detainees.

Yeah, I'm sure a bunch of glossy Vanity Fair profiles of the compromised covert CIA agents will be coming out right quick.

Oh, and I should also mention that now would be an entirely appropriate time for Zombie John Adams to rise from the grave and start kicking the asses of the douchelawyers co-opting his name in order to help America-hating terrorists.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:23 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Incompetence Is Scary

As much as I want to rejoice that a lefty the likes of Nat Hentoff doesn't like Obama, I really can't too worked up about his fear of the Hip Prez.

I was not intimidated during J. Edgar Hoover's FBI hunt for reporters like me who criticized him. I railed against the Bush-Cheney war on the Bill of Rights without blinking. But now I am finally scared of a White House administration. President Obama's desired health care reform intends that a federal board (similar to the British model) — as in the Center for Health Outcomes Research and Evaluation in a current Democratic bill — decides whether your quality of life, regardless of your political party, merits government-controlled funds to keep you alive. Watch for that life-decider in the final bill. It's already in the stimulus bill signed into law.

The members of that ultimate federal board will themselves not have examined or seen the patient in question. For another example of the growing, tumultuous resistance to "Dr. Obama," particularly among seniors, there is a July 29 Washington Times editorial citing a line from a report written by a key adviser to Obama on cost-efficient health care, prominent bioethicist Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel (brother of White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel).

While Hentoff is correct in his assertion that Obamacare, especially if led by Ezekiel Emanuel, would be a scary creation, I am more worried about what impact their incompetence would have on everything involved in healthcare. I mean, Team Obama has fucked everything else up worse than a German Hooker on Coupon Night, so what makes you think these guys could run this Leviathan? Actually, as bad as rationing health care, and waiting for treatment would be, how would you feel knowing that assfuckingly stupid people such as Joe Biden or his ilk are trying to run and manage your health care? Yeah. Me too. I would rather drink a gallon of paint thinner than let these fools anywhere near my family or me, and that is what I fear more than any "death panels" or the like.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:35 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays Swine Flu!

I'm not a doctor (I just play one on teevee) but I think the correct diagnosis here is actually "beer flu."

Thousands may be using the national flu line to land themselves 'swine flu sickies', it was claimed last night.

Every Monday the number using the hotline or associated website to get Tamiflu is more than double that of the day before, Government figures show.

The service is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, so there is no reason why people should wait until after the weekend to use it.

It also emerged yesterday that fewer than 10 per cent of those prescribed Tamiflu actually have swine flu, according to estimates based on tests on a sample by the Health Protection Agency.

Chief medical officer Sir Liam Donaldson admitted the weekly Monday spikes in calls to the National Pandemic Flu Service were 'curious'. But he would not comment on the suggestion that people were using the disease as an excuse to get time off work.

So, let me get this straight...when you offer "free" health care to people, some of them might abuse the system for possibly trivial reasons? The hell, you say! We've been told over and over that a system like that would, you know, cut down on fraud and waste by none other than the president! Who you gonna believe?

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:13 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Gardening Leads To Sex, And Not Just In Your DVD Collection.

Well, I don't know about you, but when the missus and I get all hot, sweaty, and dirty after working in the yard, she yells at me to clean up first.

You look at your better half, who has reached the end of the row he or she has been weeding. They're bending over, working their hands in the dirt. You've just pulled out the first carrot of the season, and you brush off the dirt, and take a sweet bite. It's the best thing you've ever tasted. You pass a water bottle back and forth with your lover. It begins to rain. You rush inside, and I bet you can guess what happens next.

Gardening - besides my proposed sexual connotations - is satisfying. And while weekend-long weeding can suck at the height of summer, all in all gardening is a valuable alternative to the grocery store, and allies humans with the sensualities of the land. There have been tomes written on gardening; both the various techniques for various seasons, and the philosophy behind what it means to work the land. There is no doubt in my mind - and if you're into gardening or enjoy visiting gardens, I think you'll agree - that gardening, albeit hard work, is an intimate way to connect with the earth, and a delightful way to spend the day. My question is - aside from all of the obvious benefits to man and land - does gardening make sex better?

The skeptical reader will probably go, say what? Okay, I feel you. It may seem like a gross neo-hippie generalization. But I believe gardening is a good model to go off of - in terms of getting off.

Heh. I need to garden more often.

Posted by: eddiebear at 07:06 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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